“I won’t be coddled.” He snapped the words. “And I don’t want your pity. Understood?”
She recoiled inwardly, but she kept her expression calm. “I can live with that. But when I see that you need help, I’ll give it. So that’s my rule, I suppose. I won’t stand by and let you suffer if I can do anything about it.”
He blinked. Apparently the kiss and the hug hadn’t shocked him as much as her talking back to him with belligerence in her voice.
A tiny smile tilted the corners of his mouth. “I’ve spent most of the day thinking I’d never have anything to laugh about again. You just proved me wrong. Have I had a lioness in my midst disguised as a kitty cat all this time?”
Her face heated. “Things are about to change between us,” she said quietly. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her cheek, barely a touch at all. “I am. I do.”
Something made her legs go all wonky. For a moment, she thought she might faint. If that was how a kiss from Jonathan affected her when he was being amused and affectionate, God help her if she ever experienced the real thing. She tried to suck in more air. “Okay then.”
Jonathan looped his arm through hers and turned them around. “It’s late,” he said. “We need to get you home.”
She would have slept in her car on the street if it had meant not ending this extraordinary interlude. His skin was warm against hers. She wanted to lean her head against his shoulder, but of course, she did not.
Something had happened here on this beach. The tides in her relationship with her boss had shifted to something far more real, more intimate. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even be glad about that change, because it meant she was losing him.
Back at the car, they dusted off their feet and used a water bottle for their impromptu cleanup. When Jonathan started the engine, he glanced sideways at her. “Dessert and coffee before we head back?”
Yes, her heart cried. Yes!
She shook her head. “It’s been a long day. I’d better not.”
“Of course.” He paused. “I think it goes without saying, but you must promise not to talk to anyone about my condition. No one. If the truth were to come out, our stock prices might plummet. Until I have a plan in place to handle the gossip and the fallout, there can’t be a whisper that anything is wrong.”
“I understand. You have my word.”
They barely spoke during the drive back. Without the beauty of the ocean and the beach to distract them, the enormity of Jonathan’s diagnosis filled her with aching compassion and raw regret. How could this be happening? It wasn’t fair. Not for him, not for his family, not for anyone.
But whoever said life was fair?
When they reached the Tarleton house, she exited the vehicle and stood beside her own car. In the unflattering glow of the security light beneath the house, Jonathan’s expression was grim, his skin sallow.
He seemed so damned brave and alone. She couldn’t leave him like this.
Rounding the car, she went to him and slid her arms around his waist. He wasn’t her boss at this moment. He was a man nearing a perilous cliff, a human being with little more than sheer grit and determination to help him face the days ahead.
At first, he was unresponsive. Maybe her emotion was only making things worse. Finally, a great shudder racked his frame. He buried his face in her hair and clung to her tightly.
Her tears wet his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Jonathan. So very sorry.”
They stood there like that for long moments. It might have been a minute or five or ten.
At last he straightened. He used his thumb to catch a tear on her lower lashes. “Don’t cry for me, Lizzy. I’d rather it be me than someone else. Hell, I probably deserve it.”
She stepped back reluctantly and stared up at him. “Don’t joke,” she said. “There’s nothing remotely funny about this situation.”
His smile was both weary and beautiful. “Isn’t that what they say? I have to laugh to keep from crying?”
“I can’t imagine you crying. You’re tough and resourceful. Very macho, in fact.”
“Is that how you see me?”
She shrugged. “You’ve been my boss. I only looked at you one way.”
“And now?”
Was this some kind of trick question?
She hesitated. “I know you’re human, Jonathan. Just like the rest of us. But I never wanted to test that theory. I’d rather think of you as a superhero than admit the truth right now.”
His wince echoed her honesty. “You and me both. This won’t be easy for me. And I’m not talking about the physical part. The prospect of not being in control scares the hell out of me.”
“I’ll be here, Jonathan. But you have to tell your family. They’ll be so hurt if you don’t and they find out another way.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ll tell them. I swear. I just need a little time to wrap my head around this.”
“Have you thought about seeing a counselor or a priest...someone like that? It might help.”
He cupped her cheek in one big palm, his touch burning her skin and sending shivers of sensation in every direction. “I have you, Lisette. That will have to do.”
Three
Lisette cried herself to sleep. And then had nightmares. Waking at dawn was a relief for half a second until the truth came rushing back with a vengeance. Jonathan was dying.
Thank God, she hadn’t turned in her resignation before he told her about his illness. He needed her. She was determined to give him all the love and care she could muster...but without letting on that she had loved him for a long time. That news would make things worse. She knew it instinctively.
The only reason he had asked for her help was because she was an outsider he could trust. So—not family.
Walking into the downtown office that morning was anticlimactic. Jonathan was on a conference call with someone in England. The entire floor was abuzz with the usual ebb and flow of projects and activities.
Lisette loved working for Tarleton Shipping. As hard as it had been to make the decision to leave, it was impossible to imagine this place without Jonathan. She pressed a hand to her stomach where nervous butterflies performed a tango.
Last night at the beach house had changed everything.
Somehow, she was supposed to carry on as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but at the same time she had to monitor Jonathan’s behavior and be ready to step in whenever he needed her. She wondered if he was regretting that he had told her the truth.
Yesterday had been an extraordinarily hard time for him. Hearing news like that would rattle anyone. The fact that Lisette had shown up at his house in the wake of his crisis might have had something to do with him asking her to take on a role that was so personal and critical.
If she knew him well—and she did—it was probably best to pretend nothing had changed. It was going to be very hard not to hover and treat him like he was sick. She couldn’t help feeling responsible, especially because he was keeping his family in the dark for now.
The day spun by, entirely unremarkable in its ordinariness. People came and went. Meetings happened. Jonathan whirled from one thing to the next, barely speaking to her in the interim.
She could almost believe that last night was a dream.
Occasionally, though, she caught his eye across the room, and a connection quivered between them. The feeling of intimacy startled her. He had let her in on something intensely personal. There would be no going back from this.
She had craved a personal connection with Jonathan. But not at this price.
How was she going to face the days ahead?
On her lunch hour, her friend Rebekah coaxed her out of the building. “Let’s walk,” she said. “It’s not quite so hot today, and I’ve been want
ing to try that new restaurant over near the market.”
There was nothing unusual about the situation. Still, Lisette felt Jonathan’s gaze searing her back as she exited the executive suite of offices. Did he expect her to dance attendance on him 24/7?
Rebekah called her out on her odd mood while they ate. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, frowning. “You’ve barely said a word. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine,” Lisette said. “A lot on my mind.”
Her friend’s expression softened. “I just realized. Today marks eight months since your mother died, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, hon.”
Guilt swamped Lisette. Her friend had metaphorically and literally held her hand during some very dark days. “I’m getting used to her being gone. I find new reasons to be happy every day. My mother wouldn’t have wanted me to be gloomy all the time.”
“Well, good,” Rebekah said. “Because Robbie’s friend who just moved here from Memphis wants to meet you. I thought we could go to dinner together Friday night.”
Lisette winced inwardly. Rebekah had been on her case for months to start dating. Caring for her mother and working full-time had not left any room for a social life. Now that her mother was gone and months had passed, it made sense for Lisette to get back in the game.
She was torn. The trouble was, she didn’t want to meet a string of strange guys, even though she knew her dream of marriage and a baby required some kind of change on her part. She didn’t need clubbing and dancing to be happy. The only man she wanted was Jonathan. Their new situation would give her a little piece of him. Would it be enough to justify putting her dreams on hold?
“Sure,” she said, trying hard to appreciate her friend’s enthusiasm. “That sounds great.”
The following two days passed in much the same manner, at least when it came to Jonathan’s behavior. He didn’t look sick. Aside from downing the occasional over-the-counter meds, his bronzed skin and boundless energy seemed to belie his diagnosis.
When Friday afternoon rolled around, Lisette was almost glad Jonathan was away from the office. Their new relationship made her both tense and uncertain. It was a relief to step out into the sunshine and walk to her car. She had just enough time to dash home, shower and change before she met Rebekah and the others at the restaurant.
It was a shock to run into her boss in the parking garage. He looked frazzled, but otherwise normal. “You’re leaving?” he asked.
She nodded her head. “It’s five thirty. Was there something you needed?”
His small frown took her by surprise. “I thought we might have dinner together,” he said. “To talk about how we’re going to handle this new work situation.”
She flushed, feeling the heat creep from her breasts to her hairline. “I’m sorry,” she said stiffly. “I have plans.”
He seemed shocked. “A date?”
“That’s a personal question,” she snapped. His obvious surprise nicked her pride. It was true she had lived like a nun while caring for her mother. And, yes, she was five years Jonathan’s senior. But she was hardly a pariah.
His gaze darkened. “I’m sorry to have held you up,” he said, his tone stiff and formal. “I’ll see you Monday morning.”
The bleak expression in his eyes caught her heart and squeezed it hard. She was trying so desperately to protect herself, to avoid letting him hurt her, that she was forgetting the hell he was facing.
“Wait,” she said impulsively as he turned to walk away. “What about lunch at my place Sunday? I’ll cook for you.”
Some of the starch left his spine. At last a smile tilted those gorgeous masculine lips. “That sounds great, Lisette. If you’re sure it’s not too much trouble.”
“Not at all. And by the way, I’ve moved since my mother died. I’m in a condo in North Charleston now.” Her salary was generous, but it didn’t stretch to upscale places in the historic district.
He nodded. “I’ll get the address from your file.”
“Noon?”
“I’ll be there.”
The unexpected encounter meant she had to rush like crazy to go home and then meet her friend. She made it to the restaurant with two minutes to spare. Her blind date for the evening was overly chatty, but all in all a decent guy. Under other circumstances, she might have hoped for a second date.
As it was, though, she found her mind wandering time and again during the pleasant meal to Jonathan. What was he doing? How was he feeling?
When the two females left the table to visit the ladies’ room, Rebekah leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “Well, what do you think of him? He likes you. I can tell.”
Lisette made use of the facilities and then washed her hands. “I don’t know, Rebekah. He isn’t really my type.”
Rebekah snorted. “You don’t have a type,” she said. “This is the first time I’ve coaxed you out of the house. At least give him a chance. It’s not like you’ve got your heart set on someone else.”
“I’ll keep an open mind, I swear.”
Lisette had been careful at work to hide her feelings about Jonathan, from Rebekah in particular. She’d kept her hopeless crush a secret from everyone. When Lisette had been planning to resign, she was going to tell her friend that she was in a rut after her mother’s death and that she needed a fresh start. Now those heavy-handed explanations weren’t going to be necessary.
But there would be other questions when she began spending more time with Jonathan. She would have to spin the story somehow to protect his secret. And if her so-called promotion became public knowledge, the situation would definitely become awkward.
At last the interminable evening wound to a close. She had never been more glad to head home and crash. Even then, she couldn’t stop thinking about her boss. He had chosen to confide his secret in her. She couldn’t pretend any longer that she didn’t want to be much more than his stand-in at work.
He was ferociously smart and driven. The man did have a sense of humor, but it was dry and often kept under wraps. Because his father had been forced to step down as president when his health deteriorated, Jonathan bore a heavy load of responsibility.
All day Saturday Lisette obsessed about what to cook, what to wear. She was terrified of letting her boss know that her emotions were involved. If she was going to be able to help, she had to let him think she regarded this as a job and nothing more.
By Sunday morning, she had worked herself into a full-blown tizzy. When her curling iron failed to do what she wanted it to do, she gave up styling her thick, straight hair and put it up in a ponytail.
She didn’t want to look like she thought this was a date, so she put on an older pair of jeans, black ballerina flats and a cute teal top with a lemon print. A dash of lip gloss and some mascara took care of the rest.
By the time her tomato sauce was ready and the simple fruit salad cut and arranged in crystal bowls, she felt mildly nauseous. What was she thinking? She should have resigned as she had planned.
She was weak when it came to her boss. This was a chance to be with him in a way she wouldn’t otherwise. It “was” an intimacy of sorts. A dangerous intimacy she both yearned for and feared.
Instead of getting over Jonathan, she was only going to fall more deeply under his spell and end up having her heart broken into a million unmendable pieces. Broken because he couldn’t love her back, and broken because soon he would be gone from her life forever.
Her buzzer rang at exactly eleven fifty-nine. That was so Jonathan. The man made punctuality a religion.
She opened the door and managed a smile. “Good morning, or I guess it’s officially afternoon now. Come on in.”
Her knees wobbled when the scent of his crisp aftershave teased her nostrils. His broad shoulders were encased in a simple white cotton shirt. Rolled-up sleeves revealed muscular arms tanned from years in the sun. An expensi
ve watch gleamed on one wrist.
He was dressed more casually than she had ever seen him. Jeans, too, like her. Leather deck shoes that drew attention to his sexy feet.
When she realized she was getting turned on by the man’s feet, she knew she was in big trouble.
Her big, sexy guest smiled. “Smells amazing in here.”
* * *
Jonathan was gobsmacked and trying not to show it. What had happened to the prim and proper woman who managed his business affairs with such aplomb? Suddenly...today...she looked barely twenty. Her smooth, creamy skin was unadorned. That perky ponytail bared the nape of her neck.
Her lightweight summer blouse fit her generous breasts snugly. And those skinny jeans? Hell. A man could be excused for wanting to cup that heart-shaped butt in his two hands. His libido, which in recent days had been squashed, roared back to life in a big way.
Was his reaction inappropriate? Should he try harder to ignore the attraction? Or, under the circumstances, could he be excused for wanting to let himself finally get closer to Lisette?
He shifted from one foot to the other. “This is very nice of you,” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to a home-cooked meal.”
Lisette gave him a look, one eyebrow raised. “You have the best housekeeper and chef in the state of South Carolina.”
“It’s not the same as having a woman cook for me.”
He hadn’t intended to bring flirtation into the mix, not at all. But the comment slipped out.
Far from being offended, Lisette gave him a shy smile. “Sit down at the table,” she said. “Everything is almost ready.”
He sprawled in a trendy retro chair that reminded him of something his great-grandmother might have used back in the 1950s. The Formica-top table was aqua and white. In the center sat a white hobnail vase filled with daisies. Yellow place mats had been set with flatware and cloth napkins.
“I like your condo,” he said.
“Thanks. I needed a change of scenery after Mom died. This building is very friendly, and I like the neighborhood.”
A Contract Seduction (Southern Secrets Series Book 2) Page 3