by Abbey Foxx
“Oooh, please, don’t stop.”
“-If I then happened to check the engine and found it able to work at that moment, because of some weird unforeseen and unexplainable coincidence, promise you won’t hold it against me.”
Lucy narrows her eyes.
“If that happens, all of that. I’m going to check the engine myself”, she says.
“Deal.”
“This could be a long night.”
“I’m glad you’re finally showing some belief in me.”
Suddenly, a thunderous whip of sound cracks the sky above us and shocks Lucy so much she screams and drops her wine glass. While she’s frantically apologizing and hunting for something to mop it up, the skies open up and empty a deluge of water on top of us that feels like Poseidon’s wave.
Right now, the storm is about to hit us and Lucy’s eyes couldn’t be any wider.
Lucy
I am genuinely fucking scared. Four years at college in Louisiana, none of which time I even set foot in the water.
I hate flying, I hate danger and I hate boats, probably even more than anything else. Alright, when a boat is doing nothing more than sitting on the top of the water I can handle it, but when it’s rocking from side to side like a cork in a washing machine, so much water hitting the roof and plate glass around us I can’t tell whether it’s from the rain or a biblical size wave, the sky opening up, first with forks of lightning that look like the world’s cracking in half, followed by thunder louder than any noise I’ve ever heard, I’m inclined to shit myself, just a little.
Alex, on the other hand, looks so comfortable he could be enjoying it. I stumble from side to side if I get up, feel even worse if I try and sit down.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
“No, I’m not fucking alright.”
“It’ll pass.”
It doesn’t feel like it’s going to pass. I’ve seen films with people in this same situation and it never ends well. One minute you’re enjoying a lovely sunbathe and a swim in calm blue waters, the next, it feels like someone has transported you to the tempestuous waters at the gates of hell. Seriously. I’ve seen rapid weather changes before, but this? Nothing like this.
The boat creaks, shudders and threatens to split right open. Why the fuck does the engine not work? Who’s fucking idea was it anyway to come out here when a storm was due and why is Alex just sat there, glass of wine still in his hand looking at me like I’m a mad woman?
I could be literally anywhere else. We could be in his mansion on the island. We could be at one of his several other residences. We could even be at mine, drinking wine, chatting, flirting with each other, passing the time. Instead, we’ve got to be here hoping we don’t die.
I’m a strong woman but, fuck- suddenly a wall of water hits the boat with such force I lose my balance, trip and end up on top of Alex. Not by the side, not holding his arm to steady myself, but on top. Both of us sliding without grace and ending up on the floor a mess of arms legs and embarrassed looks.
“If you wanted to lie on top of me-”, he says calmly.
“Hey, that was gravity alright?”
The boat lurches, yawns and finally rights itself again. Out of the window, all I can see is water, and for all I know we could be underwater already.
I quickly peel myself away from Alex, even though in his arms is probably the place in which I feel the safest of all, but stay low, in case I tumble over again.
“Exciting, huh?”
Exciting? What the fuck is wrong with him? Alex live-on-the-edge-because-there-isn’t-enough-space-left-in-the-middle Vann Haden might be enjoying this, but I’m not. Then again, he might just be putting in on, like he’s got used to doing with pretty much everything in his life so far.
The last thing I want to do is let him see that I’m vulnerable. If I do that, he’ll think he’ll be able to protect me and get all manly, and then when this really is over he’ll think he’s done enough to create a connection. Not going to happen, no matter how much I’d like to be back in those arms and rested against that chest again. If I wasn’t shitting myself about the very real possibility that I could die out here in the middle of nowhere, without really having achieved anything at all with my life, I might allow myself a moment to enjoy this.
More rain hits the roof so loudly it feels like lumps of ice, while the wind picks up around us and howls like a baying dog.
“Why don’t you want to fuck me?” he says.
“Seriously? You’re asking me that question now?”
“Sure, when else am I going to ask you it?”
“When? I don’t know, never.”
“I told you, I’m direct.”
“I’m the one that’s supposed to be asking the questions.”
“You don’t look like you are capable of doing anything at the moment but shitting yourself.”
“I’m not shitting myself”, I say.
“I bet you don’t like amusement parks.”
“No-one likes amusement parks unless they are under the age of fifteen.”
Alex makes the short distance over to where I’m sort of lying, sort of cowering, and sits alongside me.
“We’re not going to die. This boat is super solid and storms always sound worse than they actually are anyway. We are going to be fine, and afterward, you’re just going to appreciate life even more”, he says.
“If we manage not to die in this storm, I’ll still be trapped on this boat with you.”
“Then you’ll just have to start trying to like me.”
“Fix the engine and I’ll like you even more.”
“Do you like the left-hand side of the bed or the right-hand side better? Or are you the kind of girl that starfishes out?”
“I like the couch.”
“You’re very serious.”
“This is a serious matter.”
Alex looks down at me with smoldering eyes. I never thought blue eyes could smolder, but somehow he manages it.
“What else are you scared of, you know, besides storms and football players?”
“I’m not scared of you.”
“No, you’re scared of you.”
Alex begins to crawl away, towards the kitchen area I think, or the bedroom, but my hand on his shorts pulls him back towards me. I’m not having him saying that and then thinking he can get away.
“How am I scared of me exactly?” I say.
“Because you deny yourself what you want in case something bad happens.”
I laugh. “Come on.”
“It’s true. You’re not alone, lots of people are like that. You’d rather not get hurt at all, and miss out on something you’ve always wanted, instead of saying fuck it, even if this goes so wrong I end up in a worse place than I was before, I’ll have at least tried everything I can for my happiness.”
“You don’t even know me, what do you think makes you so qualified to say that?”
“You’ve been showing me all day.”
“I’ve been showing you?”
“Those looks, the way you carry yourself, the way your skin bobbles up in goose pimples whenever I’m near you, the way your heart was trembling when you fell onto me.”
“That was-.”
“Yeah, gravity, I know. Sexy gravity throwing you at me and making your whole body burn with desire.”
“I told you already, I’m not going to fuck you.”
“Then you’ll never know.”
There is that moment again, hanging in the air between us, sexual tension thicker than the water below us. I let it hang and he lets it hang and I know he won’t until I do, and then there’s that smile and I have a heat down below rising through my belly right up to my chest and just at the edge of it, he turns again, to break the moment and crawl away from me.
That asshole.
“You want to know why?” I say.
At the far wall, he turns to lean against it, a meter or two now between us.
“Sure.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
“Because I loved you, that’s why.”
Oh dear. This cannot end well. Even Alex doesn’t look like he was expecting that. Well, fuck him. If he’s asked and I’m telling, and he can’t deal with my rampant fucking emotions, my several years of bottled up pain, then screw him. If I have to think I’m going to die, he can cope with me unbottling my shit and pouring it all over him.
“I was in love with you, there I said it. I was so fucking in love with you nothing else mattered.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, wow. Do you even know how that feels? Do you even know how it feels to want someone so much for such a long time and for that person just to completely ignore you? I was invisible to you.”
“I know exactly how that feels”, he says.
“Do you? The star quarterback, the first on the invite list to any party. You walk into a room and people stare. I walk in and people look through me with that face that says how the fuck has that door just opened on its own?”
“Hey, I was trapped too. I had to be someone I wasn’t, and I wanted you as much as you wanted me.”
I shake my head. I’m crying now, but so what? Water outside the boat, water underneath it, I might as well make some to go inside as well.
He doesn’t deserve it, but that’s just me all over, pathetically in love with the wrong man. Even now. Even now as I’m telling him this, I know he’s right. He does turn me on and I do want to fuck him and not just because of missing out the first time around. It’s deeper than that, something that comes from somewhere inside me I can’t do anything to control, as much as I hate to admit it. Alex Vann Haden wins again.
“You don’t know the meaning of love”, I say.
Crawling across the floor to get to me again, but I won’t allow it, not until I’ve finished. Alex leans back against the wall, while the rain continues to pitter patter, the wind makes wolf sounds outside and the boat rocks, my heart in a million pieces.
“I’m not the emotionless robot you think I am.”
“No, sure. It’s better for you. I envy you. So much easier if you can’t feel any emotional attachment at all. Just fuck without the connection and then move onto the next.”
He’s shaking his head. “That hurts.”
“You admitted it yourself, you’ve never been in love.”
“Love takes two people, Lucy. It’s something that develops over time in a relationship between two people.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because I’m not cold hearted and single-minded.”
“So what were you planning to do with me after conquering me into bed? No wait, don’t answer that, it doesn’t matter anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy.”
“For what?”
“Not having the balls at that moment to risk getting my heart broken for something I wanted.”
I wipe the tears away from my eyes with the heel of my hand. I feel like a class A twat for letting him see me like this. How pathetic is crying about a crush in college that never went anywhere? Even if that crush is Alex Vann Haden. Even if, right now, that example of perfection is staring at me with his smoldering, fuck me eyes.
“Do you have the balls now?” I say.
Alex tilts his head at me, and the look of disbelief on his face is matched only by the disbelief I’m feeling inside at having actually said it in the first place. Am I actually giving him the go ahead? Am I telling him that it’s ok? Am I-? What the fuck am I doing?
I can’t take that back, even if I want to. The boat lulls and lilts and Alex looks at me, still unsure if he’s heard me right. If we fuck and he leaves because he’s the man he says he’s not, my heart will never repair itself, but if we fuck, and he’s the man he promises he’s always been, this could be heaven and more.
A heartbeat, a whip of lighting and a thunderous crack of sound above us and Alex and I are on our knees running towards each other so quickly, neither of us have a chance to back out.
Six.
Lucy
I’m eighteen again, seeing him play for the first time, his arms alone enough to get me wet. I’m every day of every week in that place, every fantasy and every desire all rolled into one. This is happening. No more cutting off my nose to spite my face, no more hiding away from risk, no more conservative, careful Lucy. I can’t resist him any longer. I hate that I need him, and I hate what he does to me, but I can’t avoid it. For whatever reason, Alex Vann Haden pushes my buttons. He pushes them so hard it makes me think I’m going to explode.
My skin is a mesh of so many goose pimples it looks like I’ve been rolling around in nettles, and that heat from my pussy burns its way outwards and upwards in a fan of heat that makes me think someone’s setting me on fire.
The lips. The Alex Vann Haden lips I could close my eyes and picture are finally up against mine, and while he pulls me into him passionately, I make sure I show him how much I’ve been waiting to do this.
If it’s only tonight, and only once, so be it. I’m going to make sure he gives me his best of all time, and I’m going to make sure I take it.
“Admit it.”
Still cocky enough to want to be right, even when what I’m doing is obvious. I bite his lip a little harder than he likes, just to channel my energy, and then find his tongue and wrap mine around it, sucking it back into my mouth.
I shake my head when his eyes repeat the question. “Not yet.”
Alex pulls at my hair to tilt my head back and expose my neck so he can bite it softly. It’s delicate enough to send shivers down my spine, dirty enough to make me want him inside me instantly.
He cups the back of my neck with his hand, encourages me to open my eyes up to him.
“Last chance”, he says.
I lick my lips, dance my fingers along his arm towards his swollen bicep, give him my lustful, fuck-me-if-you-dare eyes. I have dreamt of this moment a thousand times, wished it into existence so much I began to convince myself if I concentrated hard enough I could make it work.
Alex purrs, his cock stirring, his prey finally caught. I am weak in his arms, his to take.
“You better be good”, I say, the words rising up towards him, challengingly.
“Me? I’m the best.”
A heartbeat bridges the gap between sexual tension city and high-speed intercity trains colliding. Neither one of us are wearing much in the first place, but even so, it’s torn off and thrown to the side in record time. Alex comes at me like a wild cat would his potential lunch, throwing me to the carpet below us, holding me in place when I try to get at him.
I’m shy normally, but this isn’t normal in any way and I don’t have time for it anyway. I’m horny too, so super fucking horny that when Alex runs his hand along my ribs, over my belly button and down towards my pussy, I can see myself visibly convulsing.
“So that’s what it looks like.”
He takes a moment to appreciate me, which I’m more than happy to allow. All men are the same, whether they’re from America or The Torres Island Straits, they all like to see.
“You've never seen one before?”
“Not this beautiful.”
“I bet that’s what you tell all the girls.”
“Nah, only the ones I think I’m falling in love with.”
His cock is huge, and I don’t use that word lightly. I know there is a possibility for me to embellish, a subconscious desire for me to expand the truth without being consciously aware of it, but even if that were the case, Alex Vann Haden, in accordance with what has been written so far about him, lives up to expectation.
Men aren’t the only ones who like to see, and while he’s busy admiring me before he goes to work, I do exactly the same to him, subtly, though, so I don’t make his ego swell up in the same way.
“You just think you’re falling in love with me.”
Soft kisses turn into nuzzled bites into the sensitive area of the side of my neck.
/> “Oh?” he says, the word getting lost as he brings himself closer to me.
I can feel his thing throbbing against my leg, dangerously close to getting inside me already, the tip sticky with desire. I love it when a man is so horny pre-cum oozes out of his cock hole. He’s not the only one wet either, not the only one ready to fuck.
“You’re really just falling in love with the idea of me”, I say.
Alex nudges my legs open and I wrap them around his back, oh-so-not-very-subtly pulling him closer towards me. I could take him inside me like this and be a very happy girl indeed, even if it doesn’t last, but Alex seems to have different ideas. I’m not complaining either way. If he wants to indulge himself as much as possible before he slides his way inside me, so be it. If he wants to avail himself of every single inch of my body, and me of his, before slamming that beautiful cock so deep inside my pussy I can’t help but scream as I come so hard I forget where we began, I’m not going to hold up my hand and say no.
Not now anyway, not since I’ve let this happen. Not since I’ve lost that bet. Not since Alex seems to be so good at sucking my nipples.
I’m not cold, but I’m shivering. He’s barely touched me, but I’m right on the edge. This shouldn’t be happening at all, but it is.
Alex Vann Haden and me. The girl he never looked at. The girl that spent four years crushing on him at college. The girl that never forgot him, never forgave him, never thought she’d ever see him again. The girl that, right now, is on her back in Alex Vann Haden’s boat, the man himself taking her to the pinnacle of perfection, while a storm swirls madly around them.
One nipple in his mouth, one hand opening up my pussy. Bodies pressed together, breath hot on trembling skin, this is happening. Fuck, this is really happening.
I push him away, pull him into me, fight against it and urge it on, all in one unbroken series of movements that I punctuate with heavy gasps and girly squeals, I can’t help escaping from me. Alex is consummate in his care and attention, aggressive in his desire, delicate in his approach and just as visibly turned on as I am. That trembling is real, that smile legitimate, that swollen sensitivity completely genuine.