“Yeah, I don’t think so.” My voice does well not to betray how I feel about the news. I'd been doing all I could since talking to Gabe yesterday, just to appreciate the now. “We’re just friends and besides, he leaves tomorrow.”
She frowns at me, “I’m sorry Em.” She takes a sip of her wine and I think she is sympathizing with me until she sets it back down on the counter in front of her and turns to me. “I saw the way you were together yesterday at the dinner. There is something about the two of you being around one another and it is more than just a friendship.” I open my mouth to defend myself but she cuts me off. “You don’t have to admit it, Emmy, but there is something between you and Gabe that you never had with Mark. You light up with him like I’ve never seen you before. It fills my heart seeing the two of you together.”
Before she can say anymore, our mother joins us complaining again about the spread of food that we have had laid out. I try not to let her level of ungratefulness affect me.
We spend three more hours at the beauty parlor getting made up and our hair twisted in the most intricate ways before heading back to my parent’s estate to get dressed in our gowns. The stylists had actually hugged us before we left, wishing Amelia the best.
Buttoning the back of Amelia’s wedding gown it becomes obvious her nerves have been replaced with giddy excitement. She runs her hands down the sides of her stomach, smoothing out the lace of her dress as we take in the full view of how incredibly beautiful my sister has become on her wedding day. She had transformed into a divine Goddess, with a glow about her that radiates throughout the whole room. The only noise comes from the photographer’s camera as each moment is captured.
Over Amelia’s shoulder, I see Dad enter the room, wiping a tear when he sees us. “You both look stunning. How did I get so lucky to have such beautiful daughters?”
Together the three of us embrace, sniffling and giggling a little trying to hold back the tears. Amelia’s muffled voice breaks through, “If either of you begins to cry I’m going to lose it.”
My mother clearing her throat breaks up the moment we were having. “The guests have started to arrive, let’s not keep them waiting too long.”
I don’t think Amelia or I had been expecting what was to come next, with a full view of Amelia my mother actually smiled.
“You look radiant, dear.”
“Thank you, mum.” Amelia blushed just as the music out in the garden begun to play. Expelling a deep breath she turns to me and the other bridesmaid. “Ladies, I guess it’s time.”
The opening melodic tones of Marc Cohn’s True Companion ascend the stairs into the garden, giving us our cue to walk the aisle. The beauty of the garden is overwhelming and tears begin to well in my eyes, the rows upon rows of white folding chairs are filled until the bridal party begins the march down the rosebud scattered aisle, as the title line of the song rings out I find Gabe in the crowd. His eyes are fixed on mine causing the butterflies in my stomach to stir and my heart to race. The sight of him dressed in the shirt we picked out is breathtaking. If this was going to be the last memory I made of him it would be the most perfect one.
Our dad delivers Amelia to her husband to be at the end of the aisle and the guests take their seat in a cascade from the front row to the back. I can’t stop as a tear escapes over my cheeks as the music fades as the celebrant welcomes everyone to the ceremony.
The guests laugh along with the bride and groom as they nervously fumbled through their vows, nerves getting the better of them when Stuart drops Amelia’s ring when trying to slide it onto her finger. Finally, he gets the ring on with shaking fingers and the celebrant announces them husband and wife as the guests erupt into cheers and clapping.
The newlyweds are beaming with their hands linked together as they make their way back down the aisle, a rushed kiss between them when they get halfway under a shower of confetti.
With the bride and groom whisked inside the privacy of the house, my dad announces to the guests that the reception will be on another part of the estate. Golf carts had been arranged for shuttling those unable or not wanting to walk.
As the guest following the path to the waiting carts Gabe catches up to me.
“Is this when we get to have cake?” He smirks at me, lifting his hand to brush a stray strand of hair that had been dancing around my face.
“Yep, cake. I’ll come find you soon.” Leaning in, we rub noses while grinning like idiots.
The illusion of being alone is shattered when someone clears their throat nearby.
“Emerson, we’re waiting to have photos. Can you please hurry up?”
“Just a minute, mother.” I deadpan.
The clicking of her heels on the steps causing a wash of dread over me as I turn to watch her approach. “No, not just a minute. Now. We have guests and I don’t want to keep them waiting because you are too busy canoodling with this boy instead of having photos taken with your sister on her wedding day.”
“Gabe is a guest and we not canoodling.” I snap back at her.
“Because it is your sister’s day I’m not going to make a scene,” she hisses at the both of us, “but I am disgraced by the lack of respect by both of you, that you think it is okay to stand out here with this sort of display after you share a bed under my roof. The very same roof where, you, Gabe are only Emerson’s guest and the same roof that you, Emerson, accepted his proposal when Mark asked you to marry him.”
I see red, I had never been so embarrassed by or angry with my mother in my entire life.
“You’re right mother, our house is built on a foundation of respect. It shows in the way you treat the ones you say you love.”
“Watch yourself, young lady.” My mother’s voice barely louder than a hushed whisper. “You earn respect, it is not just given.”
I smile because for the first time in our entire lives my mother and I are actually on the same page. “I couldn’t agree more.” Turning away from her, I take Gabe’s face in both of my hands and plant a long and slow purposeful kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you soon.”
Storming past my mother I climb the steps into the back of the house where the photographer is still getting set up. Hiding my shaking hands behind my back I smile at my sister and her new husband as if everything is right with the world.
It takes longer than a moment before I hear my mother quietly clicking the door closed behind her, I guess I wasn’t the only one needing a couple of deep breaths and a count to ten.
~ CHAPTER eleven ~
Taking Gabe’s hand I move to the edge of the make shift dance floor, I watched as the smoke swirled around Amelia and Stuart as if they were dancing on a cloud lifting them into the heavens. I imagine my frustrations swirling and mixing with the cloud as if being overcome by the romance of the evening.
“Dance with me?” Gabe’s voice in my ear breaks through my clouded mind.
“I would love to.”
Other couples had started to join the bride and groom on the floor as we made our way out together. Gabe pushes me away from him before quickly twirling me back in so I crash against his body. We twirl together twice more before I link my hands at the back of his head, his hands resting on my hips as we sway.
“Emmy, you look amazing. I’ve never seen anyone look as beautiful as you looked today.”
I’m overcome with the sadness of my thoughts, it won’t be long before Gabe is leaving my life as quickly as he came into it.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you sad, Em. I thought hearing the truth would make you smile.”
“I’m going to miss you, Gabe. Being around you has felt like I have known you my entire life in such a short time. I’ve never felt more alive than when I’ve been with you.”
“You don’t need to miss me, you could come with me.” His voice is a whisper but his eyes speak loudly. His blue eyes sparkled like the sun glistened on the waves on a summers day.
I laugh at his suggestion thinking he was kidding, realizing he
’s being serious with the offer sobers me like I was doused with a bucket of ice cold water. “You’re being serious?”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere, anywhere we wanted to go.”
“How can I just leave my family behind and run away with you?”
“We wouldn’t be running, we’d drive after we get that bloody car of yours fixed.”
“Oh, I see, you only want me for my car?” I try to make light of the situation as my heart begins to beat loudly against my ribcage.
Gabe twirls me away again, bringing me back in close to his body, the heat radiates against my skin under the thin layer of fabric of my dress. “No, I want all of you, which unfortunately includes that wreck of a car.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course you can. Your mother has kindly booked a room at a hotel in town for me tonight; she’s also suggested that I should move on after check-out in the morning. I’m not going to ask you to stay with me there and I’m not going to pressure you into leaving with me in the morning. I hope you come to see me before I leave either way.”
“I will, I promise.”
“For now, Em, we have hours upon hours to burn off that three layered –”
“three layered chocolate and salted caramel fudge mud cake.” I finish for him through the tears threatening to run my makeup. Inhaling deeply my lungs are filled with the scent of him and the romance of the night.
“Hey, come on, Em,” He lifts my chin to look him in the eyes, “the cake wasn’t that bad. Sure, we may have had better but that cake was an architectural phenomenon.” Gabe wipes the escaped tear away with his thumb before pulling me into him with a tight hug.
I cling to him, doing my best to memorize everything about him and the way he feels against my body.
Gabe’s arms release me, I lift my head from where it was resting against his chest to see Amelia standing beside us.
“Gabe, do you mind if I have a dance with my sister?”
“Not at all,” leaving a kiss on my forehead, he turns to Amelia. “You look amazing, thank you for allowing me to share your day.” Gabe kisses Amelia on the cheek before making his way over to the bar.
“How are you doing, Emmy?”
I let out the sigh I had been holding in, “Gabe’s leaving tomorrow. Mum has run him out of town.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. I think she thinks Gabe is the reason that Mark and I aren’t getting back together so she’s trying to get him out of the way. He’s asked me to go with him. Gabe, that is.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing, he told me to think about it.”
The music changes to a faster song but Amelia and I stay as we are, wrapped up in each other’s arms, swaying together to the sound of our own music.
“What do you want?”
“I want him to stay. I don’t want our time to be up just yet. It’s too soon for him to go.”
“Then go with him. I can’t believe I’m saying this after just meeting him,” Amelia laughs a little at how ridiculous it does sound, “But you should go because what is keeping you here?”
“You are. And dad.”
“Seriously? That’s all that is keeping you from going? Me? Who just got married and will be leaving for my honeymoon with my new husband in the morning? And dad, a grown arse man who can take care of himself, hell, he’s been putting up with Mum for over twenty-seven years. We are your reasons for staying? Nice try.”
“What if I get to God knows where and realise that I’ve made a mistake?”
“Then you call me and I come get you.”
“Do you promise?”
“Definitely. No matter where you are in this world, I will always come find you and bring you home.”
“What if I stayed and I miss the chance of ever getting out of this town. I’m scared I’m going to grow up bitter and nasty like mum.”
She laughs softly, “You’re far too much like dad to turn out anything like mother dear, I on the other hand, well maybe I should think about going with Gabe myself.”
“It doesn’t feel like home to me here anymore, Mils. I feel lost, homeless even.”
Amelia squeezes me tighter in her arms. “Em, your heart is going to tell you where home is. You just need to quiet your mind long enough to hear it.”
We hold each other long after the song ends.
Gabe and I spend the rest of the night dancing together. “I don’t want you to go back to that stupid hotel room alone. I can’t believe my mother would do that to you.”
“It’s okay Em, I have to respect that it’s her house and she doesn’t want me there.”
“Then let me come stay with you. We could leave now and she won’t even know.”
“You need to make the right decision for you, staying with me tonight will only cause confusion and cloud that decision.”
“Gabe, have you had second thoughts about asking me to go with you? Because you’re making it sounds like you don’t want me to come after all.”
“No way, no second thoughts. But it has to be entirely your decision. Your home is here and so is your family.”
The song comes to an end as the MC takes over the microphone to announce the departure of the bride and groom. As if on cue, everyone rushes to the door to watch them leave.
Being the last to arrive, Amelia pulls me into the first hug before whispering in my ear. “I love you, Em, but I hope I don’t see you for a while.” I hug her back before she makes her way from guest to guest finally wrapping her arms around our mum and dad.
Tin cans clang together in an old-fashioned tradition as Stuart drives them away. Not until the tail lights are out of sight do I look again for Gabe. He was no longer standing in the door where I had left him. Scanning the remaining guests doesn’t reveal anything beyond the fact he is no longer here.
~ CHAPTER twelve ~
Getting ready for bed after everyone had left and the sense of loss is overwhelming. My maid of honour dress hangs over the back of the chair in my room, the dress that had made today feel like my own fairytale with Gabe dressed perfectly as my Prince Charming. It feels different being in this room now, than what it had just this morning. I felt different but the person watching me in the mirror still looks the same as she always had. Perhaps it was being so tired I could barely stand on my own two feet that had caused these new feelings.
Just when I think I had reached a decision my mother voice invades my thoughts casting doubt again. I needed sleep, and I needed the morning to come where a decision had been made without doubt plaguing my mind.
Just as I’m about to climb under the covers, the sound of paper crinkling catches my attention. A crisp white envelope is laying, sealed in the center of the mattress with my name scrawled carefully on it. Turning it over in my hands, the back is left empty with no clue as to who had left it.
I slide my finger along the edge of the seal and pull out the contents, a folded piece of paper and a postcard. The image on the postcard I recognize immediately as the piece of art I had chosen as my take home piece at the Art Gallery back in Sydney. I gently run my fingers over the image as if it was the original masterpiece before placing the card next to me on the bed. Crossing my legs I unfold the other piece of paper. In the centre of the page at the top reads the heading HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS, underneath is Gabe’s full name Archer Gabriel Carter. It takes me a moment to realise this is the piece he had submitted as his first freelance article but when I do my heart swells knowing he’d left it on purpose to share with me.
Greedily I eat the words up.
I have spent a long time travelling around this world of ours, trying to find somewhere I fit in; somewhere I could rest my head and feel at peace. Somewhere I could call my home. It took until recently to discover where my home actually is, it is only recently that I discovered that home is not a place or a building or even a town on a ma
p, it’s actually a place where your heart feels the most, where your soul is at rest and you feel like you can finally breathe again.
I have spent so much time looking for somewhere unknown that I’d embarked on this trip alone. Content I was with learning new things and experiencing the world without even the remote inkling that the feeling I was chasing could only be found in another person…
I read on, through the tears streaming down my face and the bittersweet smile that was playing on my lips as I read each and every word on the page my shaking hands were gripping. The whole time I expected that Gabe had been writing more on his blog, but it would appear each time he was writing he was sharing the story of us, of Sydney and the museum, surfing at Bells Beach and even the moment we shared at the border. The whole article was a testament of how we had grown to feel about each other, the way I looked at him when I thought he hadn’t seen, the scent of my shampoo that was encased in the fibers of my pillow that felt like balm to him.
…To meet someone, so unexpected and without warning had been like an awakening to the soul, a feeling that could not be found at any monastery in Tibet or in the quiet stillness of the Grand Canyon at sunrise.
I hadn’t realised, even by visiting the most remarkable and thrilling places on earth, that I still lay dormant until I was awakened by the rev of a Volkswagen Beetle engine and stubborn determination by the most remarkable woman I had ever met…
The words blurred and my nose begun to run, I was having one hell of an ugly cry with nothing I could do to stop it. Leaving the paper on the bed I rush to the bathroom to blow my nose and wash my face. Regaining my composure, I return to my room, my eyes are puffy but free from any more tears. Taking a couple of deep breaths, I climb into the warmth of my bed before finishing the article.
The Road Home Page 9