by Dale Mayer
He sat back. Oblivious to everything but the second truth bomb she'd just dropped. How could she possibly know all that? Especially when he hadn't seen it that clearly himself.
And even worse. How could he ever explain that she was the model? She was the one he pined for? That he loved.
And now he was certain – Shay was the other half of his heart.
***
Shay studied the shock on his face. He really hadn't known it. How could that be? And if he hadn't known it, then he wasn't ready to move on with another relationship. And maybe that was a good thing. With the mess going on in her world, she didn’t need another complication. And Roman was complicated. Even as they spoke, his energy curled up next to her. Twining into her own energy. Wanting to be close. To her.
Wanting to be with her though a part of him was unsure. Was it his own feelings causing that hesitancy or was he uncertain about his welcome?
That lack of clarity made her uneasy.
And the one truth she'd always believed was that energy never lied. But people did.
So, for whatever reason his mind might be stuck on his model, his heart and his energy from his heart, said he was ready for so much more.
Stefan had said it was time. When he’d told her, she didn’t agree. She was still unsure. But Stefan trusted Roman. And if she trusted one thing for sure, it was Stefan. His judgment. His ethics. His understanding beyond what she knew. And that knowing she could trust him brought her some relief––she had to trust someone.
Besides, Stefan had inner knowledge about her supposed time for a relationship that he hadn't shared. And he wouldn't give her any more information at this point – suggesting free will and all that.
She mentally knocked on Stefan's mind – and found it locked against her. She sighed. Now what was he up to?
"Problems?"
"Stefan isn't answering," she said absently.
"And you know this how?" His extremely neutral tone of voice alerted her.
She turned to look at him. "Remember about that whole belief stuff? Well, I just knocked on Stefan's mind to see if he was home. I planned to ask him why the hell he contacted you when I'm fine."
He opened his mouth as if to speak, then shook his head and said, "Was he so wrong? Weren't you not fine a few moments ago? You said you woke up on the living floor. Surely that's not normal."
"He's rarely wrong. But that doesn't mean he's thinking the same way I am." She closed her eyes and mentally reached out for Stefan again. "He's still not there."
"I think, from what I understood, he couldn't be with you because he was going after someone."
"The black smoke. Right I remember now," she whispered as the memory of being smothered in dark nasty energy overwhelmed her. "I wonder if he can get the answers we need."
"Black smoke? If he can what?"
She didn't answer.
Roman leaned forward and placed a gentle hand under her chin and tilting it up so he could see her eyes. "Tell me."
Taking a deep breath, she broke the code of silence she'd kept all of her life. And she told him exactly what she knew about tonight.
He sat back and listened quietly. Not judging.
For that she was grateful.
She ventured a glance up at him. He was still studying her quietly. She dropped her gaze and sighed inwardly. What had she expected? Understanding? Acceptance?
She should be grateful his energy hadn’t whipped back to wrap tightly around his body. Instead it stayed, shimmering up against her energy.
"You know how farfetched all this sounds?"
It was the thin thread of amusement in his voice that had her head coming up sharply.
"Oh yes," she said softly, a tiny smile playing at her lips. "I do. It must sound totally crazy."
He sat back, crossed his arms. "You mean what you say, but I hope you won't mind if I ask Stefan to confirm this?"
She laughed. "Ask away."
"Well, I'll have to call him."
"Don't bother. He's here now." And sure enough, Stefan's warm laughter flitted through her mind. "Go ahead and ask him. He'll answer."
Roman laughed, disbelieving. "Sure, but you'll be telling me what he said so that won't help any."
Oh boy. She grinned. "Do you really want to know the truth? Deep inside? Do you want to know if any of this woohoo stuff is real?"
"You're talking about proving it to me?"
"Yes." She laughed. "That's what I'm suggesting." She tilted her head. "So yes or no?"
He lifted his shoulders then dropped them. "Sure. Go for it."
Inside she laughed. Go for it, Stefan. Let's make a believer of him. We could use a few more good guys.
Her mind was instantly empty, no more Stefan. She sat back to watch.
Roman sat bolt upright, his face went slack, and if the color could be wiped off in a single stroke, that's what it looked like.
Shay laughed delightedly.
His head swiveled in her direction.
His jaw dropped, and when he could, he said, incredulously, "He's in my head?"
"Not really. But he is speaking to you telepathically."
Roman's gaze narrowed. "Stefan? Can't you appear in the living room or do something not so...private?"
Shay laughed. "It's amazing, isn't it?" She looked for Stefan's form to materialize. Her gaze switched from chair to chair, and then she realized that Stefan had sat down beside her. She switched over to look at Roman. He was looking around the room.
"Can you see him, Roman?" she asked curiously. "He's sitting beside me."
Roman studied the couch. "No. I can't."
"Too bad. It would provide the proof you seem to need."
"Or he could tell me something that no one else would know. That could be convincing proof," he challenged.
It was impossible not to chuckle. "Really? Like, do a reading?" She turned to face Stefan.
"Stefan? What about it?"
I feel like a circus show. There was a moment of silence, then Stefan sighed and said, Sure. What the hell.
***
Roman settled back in his chair to see what would happen next. He couldn't believe what he'd felt so far. Then he felt that weird inner sense of connectedness again. He straightened.
Stefan's voice floated through his mind, warm and mocking. This time and this time only I will be nice. I chose this method of providing proof for one reason only – that is to save Shay the embarrassment of finding out what I'm going to tell you. You want to know something personal that no one else would know, as proof I'm not a charlatan?
"No. Actually I believe in you, but I'm not sure about this whole woowoo business. It's a little tough on the uninitiated."
He could see laughter flit across Shay's face. Was she tuned in too? He wanted to ask her a mess of questions but Stefan was speaking again.
No. She isn't 'tuned' in. Although I know why you'd be worried. You don't want Shay to know that she is your model. That she is your passion. That you have been drawing her body, in intimate detail, for two years? Or how about this? The real reason you can't paint her face is because you can't face her? You feel that there is something deceitful in your creating her likeness without her permission. I also know why there is blue in your earlier paintings and just a skim of it in your later ones. But that revelation will have to wait a bit.
"Oh shit." Roman leaned back and closed his eyes. Now he was in really deep shit. "I'm sorry. What do I need to do to get out of this with my dignity?"
Apologize? I presume you're convinced by now.
"Yes. Sorry," he muttered. How had he gotten into this shit anyway?
By being you. Shay needs you. You need her. Why am I the only one that sees this?
Roman cast a wary glance at Shay, who appeared to be enjoying this. He wasn't. He didn't want to insult Stefan any more than he had already but…
I'm gone.
And just like that Roman's mind emptied, cooled. Stefan was gone.
Thank
God.
But would Stefan keep Roman's secret?
***
Tabitha floated on the peaceful clouds of the ethers. She walked here often, but normally she could return when she wanted to. She didn't understand what the problem was this time.
Something had happened. Something painful.
She wasn't what anyone would call soft or delicate, but even with her abilities, she felt vulnerable out there. She could hide in here. Not something she did well. Or often.
So why was she hiding now?
Danger.
She was in danger. So was someone else. Who? She tried to concentrate. To focus on the problem. But that was the problem with the ethers – real life problems weren't tangible parts of this reality. They felt distant. Unreal. Hard to care about.
And with that thought, Tabitha floated off again.
***
Knock, knock…
Ah Shay.
You don't even know that I had your grandfather. That I led him away like a puppy on a leash. Now how wrong is that? I should have left a note in his pocket. Let you know that he'd been targeted.
Or maybe I should have just killed him outright.
But then you wouldn't have spent the day and evening worrying. Maybe I should visit him again in the hospital? No. I think I'll send you a more serious message. One of those other family members maybe.
Or a close friend.
Maybe, if they turn up dead, you'll get the message this time?
I have another targeted charity to take care of too. Isn't that new wing at the children's hospital completed now? I heard how much you love that project. Sounds like my next stop.
'Cause I'd like to up the stakes a little. And hitting the children's hospital sounds like maximum pain. Too bad you don't have any pets left to torture.
I'll have to pick off your friends instead.
And, of course, your family.
Chapter 18
Shay sat back on her plush leather couch and watched the expressions cross Roman's face. He was a strong man and taking a hit like this wouldn't be easy. It's not that Stefan would be harder on him than anyone else, but more than likely Roman had secrets, deep ones, ones he wouldn't appreciate anyone accessing. So far, she'd yet to see anything Stefan couldn't find out within a person's psyche.
Thank God she trusted Stefan implicitly or it would be incredibly unnerving to have him in her head. By asking for proof, Roman had opened himself up to a new reality. A scary one.
And that loss of innocence was tough for everyone…even traumatic for some.
She watched him blink several times.
Stefan? Isn't that enough?
I'm not in there anymore. He has a few new truths to deal with. That's all.
But you trust him? You didn't find anything in there that concerned you? That I should be concerned about?
He cares about you. He's confused about it, but there's no doubt he'd be devastated if something happened to you.
She didn't know what to say. It pretty well matched her impression. I don't know that I want to fight a ghost.
A ghost?
Yes, his model. If I'm in a relationship with him, I want him to be passionate about me. How can I know he's thinking about me and not her?
Humor threaded Stefan's voice as he answered, I don't think that will be a problem. Trust him.
Says you, she muttered.
He laughed. I'm going to bed now.
Wait, what about tonight? What did you find out about my attacker from this evening?
Nothing concrete. I'm going to do some research. Something odd is going on in the ethers. Not sure just what.
With that she had to be satisfied.
"Were you just talking to Stefan?" Roman asked in an odd voice. "Did he say anything to you?"
She understood his wariness and didn't pretend to misunderstand. "No he didn't share your secrets. He wouldn't. Stefan is all about principles and morals."
The relief on Roman's face made her laugh, but inside she didn't find much to laugh about. What concerned him so?
"You don't have to look so relieved," she said. "If he can see it, you can bet someone else can find out your secret."
He frowned. "That's the problem with secrets, isn't it? They can always come to light and hurt people."
Now she really had to wonder what he was hiding.
He sat down beside her. "If there's one thing Stefan's little demonstration showed me, it's that you two have a closeness I can't imagine. I might have dreamed of such a thing a long time ago, but to actually be able to communicate without speaking like you two do, well, that's impressive. And…I'm jealous. I'd love to have something similar," he admitted.
"Yes. It’s comforting, reassuring, and also damn irritating at times. See, Stefan doesn't just get to see the stuff I want him to see, but he can see stuff I hadn't considered that anyone would ever know about." She shook her head, and continued, "No, I'm not talking about secrets, although he obviously could know about all those if he cared to look… I’m talking more about casual thoughts." She laughed. "For example I was looking in a store window at some women's clothing and I saw a pair of stilettos that I loved. At the same time I was thinking that they looked like hooker shoes. And I thought that I'd probably come off looking like a tart if I tried to wear them."
Her grin widened. "Stefan immediately laughed and added that he'd have said a high-priced call girl instead."
Roman's gaze widened. "So he's there all the time?"
"Not always, but we often leave the door open between us. I was involved in a bad scenario a while back, and I almost died." She swallowed hard. "Without Stefan, there's no way I'd have survived. Since then, that door between us is rarely closed. I don't always hear his thoughts, but every once in a while I'll hear and answer him the same as he did for me."
Roman grinned. "You are blessed to have him that close. Is this something I could learn?"
She looked surprised. "I imagine. Stefan mentors all kinds of people with various abilities. I don't know if you have any psychic gifts, but I'm sure he'd say you do even if you don't actively use them." And she'd seen for herself the power was there, sleeping.
"I'm not sure I'd want to ask Stefan for very much after tonight."
"Telepathic communication is very personal. But I like it. I never feel alone."
"And you used to?"
She thought about that. "Yes, I guess I did. Even with my fiancé, there was a sense of not being connected the same as I am with Stefan."
Just then her phone rang. She stared at it. Then at her clock. "It's two in the morning."
"I hope it's not Pappy." Then she snatched up the phone.
It wasn't. But it was the hospital. One of her relatives. A cousin, who she hadn't seen in years, had been admitted to the hospital. She'd had a note in her pocket to call Shay if anything happened to her.
Shay, after saying she'd be right down, hung up the phone slowly.
"Shay? What's wrong? Is it your grandfather?"
He had his own phone out, as if ready to call Gerard.
"No." She shook her head. "I don't get it." She explained what the hospital had said. "But I barely know this woman. I've had nothing to do with her for years."
He stood up, held out a hand to her, and said, "Then we'd better go down there and see what we can find out."
We? She eyed the hand he extended to her. It offered her more than help from the chair. The gesture seemed symbolic as it waited for her to respond.
Intrigued, yet wary, she placed her hand in his and let him help her up.
What bond had she just sealed?
Because that's what it felt like.
A bond, an agreement of some kind, that he had a place in her world.
Whether she was ready or not. Whether he loved another…or not.
***
Stefan lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling. With Shay heading into a deep relationship, he had to admit to being slightly off-color himself.
He had their privacy to respect as well as concerns about how her relationship with Roman, once it moved to the intimate level – and given what he'd seen of Roman's emotions, that wouldn't take long – would change his relationship with Shay.