This wasn’t Jason in the basement of his mother’s house. Ellie had nothing to fear now.
With his mesmerizing attention, the millimeter-by-millimeter movement of his fingers beneath her breast, the way he feathered across her ribs, watching her all the time, he tensed her flesh even more, made it ache, burn. She knew nothing of being treated like this, touched like this.
The removal of his hand was sudden and left her mortified at her response to him. She placed her hands in her lap again and lowered her face.
“Forgive me,” he said. “You have a beautiful body.”
“Not as beautiful as yours,” she said. Did she have no control over her tongue?
“Thank you.” Once more he tipped the glass to her lips and she drank, then watched Joe take a swallow himself.
He put down the glass and kissed her. The thought came, unbidden and unwelcome, that she knew she was playing with fire and could unravel before Joe’s eyes at any second. Joe, on the other hand, had no idea he could be provoking a disastrous encounter.
He framed her face with his hands. The next kiss, deep and not the kiss of a man who was kissing her goodnight, tightened the skin all over her body. Her nipples hardened and she longed for him to touch them.
“You’re hot, too,” he said. “Take off the robe.”
Deep between her legs, she stung. “I can’t,” she said.
With no warning, he dipped a napkin into his glass of wine and passed it over the tops of her breasts and the sides of her neck. A drizzle of wine ran between her breasts.
Ellie leaped up, holding the damp lace at the neck of her gown to her chest. She looked at him, amazed, and got a completely wicked, clenched-teeth grin in return.
“Cooler now?”
“Joe Gable, you’re awful. I’m sticky. What possessed you to do that?”
“May I show you?” He advanced on her and Ellie backed away.
There was no place to go, unless she wanted to try running away. She made it behind the couch and pointed a shaking finger at him. “You just cool down. I’m surprised at you.”
“Are you?”
“I, yes.” Unless she wanted to set Daisy on this man who happened to be the only man Ellie had ever cared for, where did she think she was going? Into her bedroom? Not a good idea.
“If you want me to trot across the hall and climb into my lonely bed, I’ll do it. Just say the word.”
“You’re playing with me.”
“What was the first indication?”
“You, well—” She let her arms fall to her sides. “You know what you did.”
“And you didn’t like it?”
She had liked it. She hadn’t expected it, that was all. And things were going too fast.
“Ellie, answer the question.”
“I did like it, a lot, but it wasn’t anything I thought you would do.”
He rubbed at his forehead. Ellie couldn’t keep her attention from his chest, or the way his pajama pants sat low on his hipbones. He blew her a kiss and she giggled.
“C’mere,” he said, advancing with measured but definite steps. “You have had me sweating through the night over you for a couple of years. You never showed much interest, so I didn’t push it.”
“I’ve always liked you.”
“That’s nice,” he told her. “But you never considered me as a man you’d enjoy making love to?”
The heat in her body became unbearable. “I—I like looking at you.”
“Touch me, then.” He beckoned her. “Touch me wherever and however you want to. Maybe you’ll like that, too.”
“I couldn’t.”
Ellie still stood behind the couch and Joe closed the distance between them. She didn’t want to run from him. She just didn’t know how to deal with a man like him who obviously intended to make love to her.
“So here we are,” he told her, placing her against the wall and pressing her hands to his chest. Holding her wrists, he took her fingers over his shoulders, down his sides, across his chest, and behind him to his buttocks. He pressed her hands against the hard flesh there and released her.
“You feel so good,” she whispered.
He dipped his head and licked a line along the straight neckline of her nightie. Spaghetti straps held it up and like most of her clothes, the thing was too big and loose. “Mmm,” he whispered against her skin. “You like the way I feel and I like the way you taste. A bit like wine. Shall I stop?”
She shook her head. Mature people didn’t fib when there was no need. Having him so close to her was going fine. He didn’t just take, he gave. Joe gave more than she knew exactly how to give back, but she could try to learn from him.
“Take the lead, Ellie. It’s your turn.”
She shook her head again. With an economy of movement, Joe slipped her belt from around her and stripped off her robe. He sucked in a breath and stood as far from her as he could without removing his hands from her waist. “My God, you’re fantastic. You can hide under those dresses when you’re anywhere but with me. But when it’s just the two of us, I want to see you.”
“You frighten me,” she said. “It’s only sex.”
Completely still, Joe studied her face, tipped his head to one side, narrowed his eyes and took a long look at every feature. “It’s not only sex. But it is about sex, too. Go to bed. Would you mind if I sleep on the couch here rather than across the hall? I want to be close to you.”
“I’m sorry, Joe. I led you on.”
“You have nothin’ to be sorry about, cher. And you didn’t lead me on. I’m tryin’ to go too fast. I ought t’know better. Go on and get some sleep. I’ll be here, cher.”
“You’re so sweet,” she told him, even though she felt such a fool. “You really do want to keep me safe.”
He left her and shut the door to the landing. “I really want to keep you safe, but I’m not sweet. I’m hanging in here, Ellie. I’ve got to because I’ll do whatever it takes to have you for myself. Now go.”
There it was again. He didn’t intend to give up on their becoming lovers. “You need blankets.”
He gave a short bark of a laugh. “Blankets? I’m nicely warmed up, thanks. In more ways that one. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“Good night,” he told her.
“Maybe a sheet. The corduroy could get uncomfortable.”
He looked at her through the room’s subdued light. “Yeah, good idea. A sheet.”
“Joe.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Just about everything. Most of all, I don’t know what to do right now. What am I supposed to do? Leave you to be uncomfortable on the couch in a room that’s too hot, or make you go to bed across the hall—where it’s also too hot?”
If there was some perfect response, he did not appear to know what it was.
“A sheet,” she said, and hurried into her bedroom. She half expected him to follow but should have known better. When she returned he hadn’t moved from where he stood. Ellie put the folded sheet on the seat of the couch.
Then Joe moved. He picked up the sheet, shook it out and spread it.
“I wouldn’t have expected you to wear pajamas,” Ellie said, and shook her head. Why would she say a thing like that to him? At this moment?
“These are in your honor,” he said. Watching him stretch to finish his task presented Ellie with an engrossing spectacle. His stomach drew tight and the muscles in his arms shone as they moved. “That’s done,” he said, looking up at her.
“Yes.” Each breath fought to go in and out at the same time.
“Is it really hot in your room, too?”
“Not so bad. I put in a really good new fan right over the bed.”
“That’s good, then.”
He’d be cooler in her bed than in either the other apartment or this living room.
“What’s the matter?” he said. “Waiting to make sure I’m comfy?”
“I said I would.” She sounded a whole
lot more flip than she felt.
Joe put a knee on the couch, leaned to slip a hand behind her neck and pulled her close enough for a long, long kiss. “Nice,” he murmured. “I want a lot more of those.”
She fought for breath. “So do I.” Ellie, the pillar of resolve and reserve.
He released her and went around to her side. “Dammit,” he said so suddenly, she jumped and her mouth turned dry. Joe stood close behind her. “I’m doing my best to figure out the best way to approach you, but I’ve never met a woman like you before. You’re as sexy as hell but you give out signals that tell me to stay away. What is that all about?”
Ellie leaned against him, turned and put her arms around him and felt the sharp pinch of longing and breathless need when her breasts flattened on his chest.
“I’m dyin’ here,” he said.
Lightly, she skimmed his body and this time she included his rigid belly and the powerful muscles in his thighs. Trembling, she slid her thumbs down his groin then, loosely, held his penis. It wasn’t the way it should be done, but she was too afraid to grip him, to stroke him.
Joe dropped his head back and let out a strangled moan. He made fists at his sides.
Ellie’s heart beat so fast and shallow she felt faint, but hot and intensely excited at the same time.
She held him, overwhelmed by the weight.
“Ellie, Ellie, Ellie,” he said in a broken voice. “I can’t—do this any longer.”
She stumbled backward, held up her hands. A painful beat started in her temples. “Forgive me,” she said. What did she think she knew about any of this? Nothing, she knew nothing but how to do as she was told when the alternative was punishment.
He caught the front of her nightie in one fist and drew her to her toes. Kissing her, her mouth, her face, her neck, her breasts, he excited and confused her. His left hand slid around her and the fierceness of his kiss drove her backward over his arm. Squeezing her buttocks, he panted and gave a muffled moan.
“Joe, I—” She didn’t know what she wanted to say and he didn’t respond at all.
He moved too quickly for her to react, grasped the neck of her gown and pulled it below her breasts.
Ellie cried out. She took a step backward but he swung her back against the couch and held her knees between his. Trapping her feet between his own, he cupped her breasts. Her control, if there was any left, drained away and she arched her back. Joe pulled at her nipples, shook them, rolled them between his fingers. He held her still while he licked a circle around one of her breasts. He repeated the action, moving closer to her nipple by a fraction of an inch.
She wanted him to suck at her. Deep in her limbs she quivered.
Jason had never bothered to try to excite her. He’d looked, squeezed, bruised her flesh with his pinching, but she’d known his aim and how quickly it would all be over, even if he did want her to walk around naked afterward. But was that really different than this in anything but the time the man took to get inside her?
Ellie almost retched. Boneless, her legs threatened to betray her.
Joe pressed the heel of a hand against her pelvis and flicked his fingers over moist flesh that ached.
“No,” she said, pressing her legs together and dipping to evade his hand. “Not like this.” The gown slid down her arms to restrict her elbows.
“Like what?” Joe kissed her neck and worked her nipples with his thumbs. He slid his hands up her thighs and held her hips tightly.
“No, no. Please. Not this time. I’ll be good next time. Let me be tonight.”
She heard her own sobbing, felt tears wash her fiery cheeks, and scrambled to pull her gown up. She saw herself, half naked with Jason on top of her. He kept pulling at her skirt and she did not have the strength to stop him. His jeans scratched her legs.
He would hurt her later but she punched him and screamed.
“Ellie!”
Now the beating would start because she’d angered him. Why not make him angry enough to kill her? At least it would be over then.
His hard fingers closed around her wrists, ground the bones together, and he shook her. “For God’s sake, Ellie, take a breath. Hold on, just hold on. Everything’s okay. No one’s gonna make you do anythin’ you don’t want to do. Look at me.” He shook her again. “Ellie, look at me.”
It was too scary to see him.
Soft kisses, pressed lightly to her face, calmed her a little.
“Open your eyes,” he said.
Stillness fell over her. Sweat ran on her body and down the sides of her face, but she was cold. Dear God. Joe’s voice. Joe’s voice pleading with her while he cradled her in his arms.
Ellie looked at him.
“I’m putting you to bed now,” he said. “You’ve got something terrible eatin’ at you. It’s somethin’ to do with a man, isn’t it?”
When she swallowed her dry throat tickled and she coughed. She didn’t have to look at herself to know her nightie was shredded and displayed more of her than it hid.
Joe carried her easily into her room. He reached up to start the fan and pulled a second string to turn on muted and frosted lights. Ellie tried to cover herself.
He sat her on the edge of the bed and went into her bathroom to return with a wet washcloth and a towel. “Pretend I’m your mother,” he said, sponging her down. Ellie looked straight ahead. She must make sure their paths crossed as little as possible after this.
“Where are your clean nighties?” he asked.
“On a shelf in that armoire.”
He found a plain white shift, handed it to her and turned his back while Ellie discarded the destroyed gown and pulled on the deliciously cool, smooth cotton. “Thank you, Joe,” she said quietly. “I’m not going to ask you to understand what happened just now. I blew it and I’m sorry. You should never have to put up with something like that.”
“I want you to get into bed,” he said. He pulled back her blue chenille spread and turned the sheet aside.
“Thank you,” she told him, although climbing into bed felt beyond her.
“Here we go.” With a hand beneath her knees and the other around her waist he lifted her onto a sheet that would stay cool only until her body heated it. “Stretch out, cher.” He left her again and brought another washcloth, this time to stroke it repeatedly across her brow and dampen her hair.
The look hadn’t left his eyes. Men have to have sex—how many times had she been told that to justify the way she had been taken, again and again?
“I’m going into the living room now,” Joe said. “We’ll both need to be rested in the morning. I’ve got to be in court. You’ve got to start getting your business back to normal.”
“He’s out there,” Ellie told him, turning her face toward the windows. “I won’t feel normal until I know he’s gone. But I’ll do my best to get my routine back.”
“You’ll do it. Now get to sleep.” He walked toward the door.
“This is the coolest place up here,” she said. “A man and a woman can sleep in the same bed, can’t they? Without the other, I mean.”
He looked back at her. “I need to turn those lights off for you.”
“I can do it.” Kneeling on the bed, she pulled the string. “Can a man and woman do that, Joe?”
“Of course they can.” She heard him swallow. “It’s all an attitude of mind and fortunately I haven’t completely lost control of mine. I’d love to share your fan.”
Ellie scooted to an edge of the bed to give him plenty of room, and the mattress sagged when Joe stretched out on top. “We’ll need to talk,” he said.
She didn’t want to. “Don’t worry about my problems. I’ll work them through.”
He was quiet for a while.
Ellie closed her eyes. She hurt all over and realized she had locked her joints.
Joe held her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed it for a long time, just pressed his warm mouth into the base of her fingers as if it satisfied his needs.
> “Do you sleep on your back or your side?” Joe asked. “Or your stomach?”
“My side.”
“Which side?”
She rolled away from him, even though she’d have had to face him to be on her favorite side, and all but hung off the bed.
“You’ll fall off, cher,” he told her very quietly. “Come here. I promise you’re safe, but you need comfort. We both do.”
He eased her across the mattress and settled her into the cradle he made with his drawn-up knees.
Tension made her back hurt but she held still.
“Relax,” Joe said, his mouth close to her ear. He used his fingers to draw her hair away from her face. “Some bastard took advantage of you. We’ll talk about that, but not until you’re ready. Let it all go, sweetheart. Let it float away.”
His low voice vibrated against her shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut. Over and over again Joe stroked her arm, ran the backs of his fingers across her cheek, caressed her neck.
“Joe…”
“Hush. You’re here and I’m here. We’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you, Ellie.”
She began to let go. Her body softened. She sat in his lap with so little to shield the most vulnerable parts of her body from the intimate signs of his masculinity, yet she knew Joe would not do a thing she didn’t want.
Tiredness swept over her. It didn’t cut her awareness of him, but it demanded its share of her.
“Is it okay if I hold you, Ellie?”
“Uh-huh.”
His arm was heavy around her waist but she liked it just that way.
“Sleep,” he said into her hair. “Just let me hold you through the night.”
17
“Quit playin’ with those things,” Cerise said from the back room over her dress shop. “If I’d known they’d get to botherin’ me I’d never have bought them for you.”
He muffled a laugh. She’d bought the night-vision glasses for herself and pretended they were a gift for him.
“Paul.” Cerise could win a whining contest hands down. “Come on, I want to talk to you. And we’ve only got a few hours for us. The movie’s ready to go.”
Now You See Him Page 14