by Anna Blakely
A strange expression fell over the man, but it was gone in a flash. “Excellent. Please see that he does.” He glanced up at the gray sky. “I’d better be going. I’m sure you two wouldn’t enjoy having a third wheel stuck up here with you.”
Juliet wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so she simply smiled.
“Take care, Miss Farrow. Make sure Mik...er, Jay...gets that as soon as possible.”
Did he almost say Mike?
A gnawing feeling crept deep into her gut.
“Thank you.”
Ben turned to leave, and Juliet quickly shut the door and locked it. Rushing back over to the table, she sat down and opened the folder. That feeling worsened when she read the words on the very first page.
There, in bold print, the sheet read...
Classified.
Property of the CIA
For CIA Paramilitary Operations Officer Michael J. Bradshaw’s Eyes Only.
Michael J. Bradshaw...Michael Bradshaw...Mike.
“Oh, my god.”
Juliet’s hand flew to her mouth, her throat working to keep the bile rushing up from her stomach at bay.
No, no, no.
She shot up from the chair and went to the kitchen sink. Clamping her fingers around its edge, she squeezed until her knuckles turned white.
Was it possible? Could Jay really be an undercover agent with the CIA?
Her mind raced as it attempted to go back over their time spent together. Back to two years ago...and now.
She’d met him through her brother, Mikhail. The same brother who, not long after, testified against their father and other brother.
When she’d been taken into custody, he vanished without a trace. She’d even tried looking him up once the trial was over, but the one measly trail she’d found had led to a dead end.
Then, out of nowhere, he shows up suddenly. At the exact moment a man from her father’s past had tried to kill her. He’d rushed in, saved the day, and she’d fallen for the ruse like a mindless damsel in distress.
Jay...Mike...had questioned her that next day after they’d gone to her place. She thought he was trying to help her, but looking back, Juliet could see it for what it really was.
He’d been interrogating me. Gathering information for the CIA.
A memory from the night of the explosion surfaced. One from when she and Derek were on the floor taking fire.
I want you to make your way back to Mike’s...uh...Jay’s bedroom. But stay low, and don’t go near any windows.
At the time, she thought he’d misspoken by telling her to go to his room. But now...
Another memory struck. One with Derek’s brother, Eric.
What about Mike? Where is he?
Derek had played it off, reminding his brother that ‘Mike’ was the name of the man who’d owned the home previously.
“And I bought it,” she whispered to herself.
Jay’s...no, Mike’s words from that night at the hospital hit her like a kick to the gut...
I meant what I said tonight. I love you, Juliet. I think I have from that first moment I laid eyes on you.
“Oh, god.” Juliet felt sick in the deepest parts of her soul. “I bought it all.”
Losing the battle, she doubled over and vomited into the sink. Her stomach didn’t stop convulsing until it was depleted of every last ounce of the lunch they’d just shared.
Trembling, she rinsed out the sink and ran the garbage disposal, and on wooden legs she made her way back to the bathroom. There, she brushed her teeth and gargled with mouthwash to rid herself of the rancid taste, wishing she could get rid of the overwhelming feeling of betrayal just as easily.
When she was finished, she went back to the front room and took off her coat and gloves. Shoving the gloves into the pockets, she hung the coat on her peg and went back to the table where she’d been sitting.
Removing the paper with Mike’s real name, she closed the folder and placed the paper neatly on top. Then...she waited.
A very long, torturous forty-five minutes later, he came back. “Damn, it’s getting cold out there.”
Not as cold as it’s about to get in here.
Juliet remained silent.
The man she’d known as Jay—the same man she’d given her body, heart, and soul to—glanced up at her and frowned.
“Listen, Jules. We need to talk.”
Ya think?
He ran a hand through his hair. “There’s something...” His chest rose and fell with a long, deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should’ve told you a long damn time ago, but I—”
“Ben stopped by,” she cut him off. The jerk had stolen her heart. Her trust. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of taking this moment from her, too.
“Ben?” Jay’s—no, Mike’s—frown deepened. “What did he want? And why the hell did you answer the door for him?”
“I didn’t,” she spoke coldly. “I opened the door to go find you, and found him standing there, instead.”
Confused, he turned and hung up his things. “It’s his place, so he has the code to the gate at the property line. Explains why my sensor didn’t go off when the gate opened.” He turned back around. “What did he want?”
“To give you this.” She pushed the folder...and the paper...toward him.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. You tell me, Mike.”
His brown eyes shot to hers. The color drained from his face, and...there it was. Confirmation that her suspicion was spot on.
“Jules, I can—”
“Explain?” She huffed out a humorless laugh. “Oh, you bet your lying ass, you’re gonna explain. And when you’re finished, you can call Jake, or whatever the hell his name is, and tell him to get his goddamn jet back here and take me home.”
Chapter 13
I’ve lost her.
Juliet was sitting less than five feet away from him, but in that moment, it felt as if an entire world separated them.
She hates me.
No, this was worse than hate. The woman he loved and cherished, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, was staring back at him as if he were a stranger.
He couldn’t even be mad about it because, to her, that was exactly what he was. A stranger. Except he wasn’t.
What Juliet didn’t know—what she couldn’t possibly see through the blinding haze of anger and betrayal currently surrounding her—was that when he was with her, Mike felt more like his true self than ever before.
With her, Mike was...home.
It wasn’t a conscious effort on his part. At first, he’d done everything he could to fight against the magnetic pull the incredible woman held over him. But it didn’t matter.
From damn near the first minute they’d met, Juliet Farrow had somehow broken through his barriers. She brought out the best of him, and Mike was defenseless against her.
And now, thanks to Ben Lopez, he’d lost her.
If he hadn’t come by with that goddamn folder, Mike would’ve had the chance to tell her himself.
You had your chance. You had a fuckton of chances. You blew this, dipshit. No one else. Now you have to try and make it right.
Staring back at her, Mike tried to explain. “Look, Jules. I know this looks bad. But if you’ll just let me—”
“Bad?” Juliet pulled her gaze from his and laughed. “Oh, this is way worse than bad. This is...” She shook her head and rose to her feet. “I can’t even find the word to describe what this is.”
“I wanted to tell you. Hell, this is what I came back in to tell you!”
“Yeah? Why, now? We’ve spent all this time together...first at your place and then here. You’ve had ample opportunity to come clean, Ja...Mike.” She raked her fingers through her long hair. “But you never said a fucking word. But then your buddy, Ben, drops this bomb in my lap, and you just happen to pick that moment to tell me the truth. Do I look that fucking stupid to you?”
“No.” He took a step forward. Juliet put out a hand and stepped backward. “Damn it, Jules. Keeping this shit from you has been killing me. I fucking hated doing it two years ago, and it’s been even harder since I found you, again.”
“I’m so sorry this has been so hard for you.”
“No, that’s not what I—”
“This is unbelievable.” She put both hands on the top of her head. “I trusted you. Actually trusted you. I slept with you, for Christ’s sake. I thought I...I told you I...”
“Love me. You do, baby. And I love you.”
“I don’t even know who you are!” She threw her hands to the side and shouted. “How the hell can I love somebody I don’t even know?”
Shit. Fuck. Shit!
“You know me, Jules. Yeah, I may have lied about my name and what I did for a living, but you know me. The important parts...the real parts. The part of me that loves you more than anything in this entire fucking world.”
“No.” Juliet shook her head sadly. “I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
Mike went to her, then. He wanted so badly to take her hands in his, but knew she’d probably deck him if he tried. So he just stood there, in front of her, begging her to believe him.
“Everything about us is real.” He stared into her sad, beautiful eyes. “Everything I said about you and me...about loving you. That’s real. Always.”
“How can I possibly know that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“The truth,” she scoffed. “You’ve been lying to me from the second we met. I know nothing about you...Michael J. Bradshaw.”
His name left her lips in a sarcastic quip of anger and disgust, and Mike felt as though his entire world was imploding around him. He was drowning in a sea of deceit and lies. A sea he, himself, had created two years ago.
And there was no life raft in sight.
“What do you want to know?” He refused to let go of the dream. Of her. “Ask me anything you want, and I will tell you the God’s honest truth.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious, Juliet. It doesn’t matter what it is...good, bad, embarrassing, ugly...I’ll tell you everything.”
Her inner turmoil was a living, breathing thing. Mike knew she wanted nothing more than to tell him to go to hell and storm out. Thankfully, however, their secluded location was on his side.
It was the only thing he had going for him.
“Fine.” Juliet walked back over to the table and sat down. “I don’t know why I’m wasting my time, but sure, I’ll play along. But so help me God, if I even think you’re lying to me, I’ll walk out that door and take my chances with the fucking bears.”
If he wasn’t balls-deep in trouble with the spitfire woman, he would’ve smiled. But this was it. His one and only chance to make her understand, and there was no room for error.
Feeling as if he were in the fight of his life, Mike took a seat in the chair directly across from her. Willing to let her interrogate him for as long as it took, he rested his elbows on the table and said, “What is it you want to know?”
“Is your name really Michael Bradshaw?”
“Yes.”
“Do you really work for the CIA?”
“No.” When her brows turned inward, he quickly added, “But I used to. I work for a private security company called R.I.S.C. The acronym stands for recue, intel, security, and capture. We’re basically a privately-owned black ops team, but we also work with different government agencies from time to time.”
“Were you working for the CIA when we met?”
“Yes.” He swallowed, then voluntarily offered up more about his past. “I was in the military before that. Delta Force. Jake and I were on the same team.”
“So, his name really is Jake?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t grow up together.”
“We did. I’ve known him since we were kids. Jake, my sister, and I used to always hang out together. Then, we grew up, and he married my sister.”
“Your sister?” She blinked again. “I thought he was married to the nurse who took care of me.” Mike opened his mouth to explain, but she figured it out before he got the chance. “Oh. Right. I can see it, now. The resemblance.”
The corners of Mike’s lips rose slightly. “Olivia’s my little sister.”
“She seemed...nice. Then again, she didn’t bother to tell me the truth either, so...”
“Because she knew I needed to tell you myself. And for the record, she gave me a royal ass-chewing that night at the hospital.”
“Why?”
“When Liv found out you and I were...together...she reamed my ass up one side and down the other for lying to you.”
Juliet sat back in her chair. “Nice to see at least one Bradshaw has a set of balls.”
Mike did smile, then. Just a tiny one that fell almost as quickly as it had risen. “Anyway, after high school, Jake and I joined the Army. We went to Ranger school together, and then we were assigned to the same Delta team.”
“Delta...that’s like special ops, right?”
“It is. We served together right up until the day a man from the CIA visited me. Took me behind closed doors, told me they needed me for a special undercover assignment. Apparently, they’d worked it all out with my CO, and the paperwork for early release from my military contract had already been approved. They just needed me to agree to it.”
“And?”
“And...I did. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill cover assignment, though. It was especially dangerous.”
“How so?”
“The man we were after would make your dad and Ivan look like a couple of teddy bears. And they had arms that reached all over the world. Because of this, the CIA said I needed to take every precaution I could to protect my family.”
“What did you do?”
“I let everyone I knew and loved think I was dead. My dad and sister...Jake. They were all told I’d been killed in a training accident. It was supposed to be temporary...a month-long assignment. Two at the most.”
“How long did it actually last?”
“Ten years.”
“Ten years?” Juliet sat straight up. “You let your family think you were dead for an entire decade?”
“I didn’t have a choice. They fucked me over with some bullshit clause in my contract I didn’t know existed. One that stated they had the right to extend it for any length of time the U.S. government deemed necessary. If I went against it and tried to quit, my ass would’ve been tossed into Leavenworth, and my family would still think I was dead.”
Juliet sat quiet for several minutes before asking, “You said you no longer worked for the CIA. So, when did you...”
“Get out?” he finished for her. “Two years ago.”
“Two years...”
Mike could practically see her wheels turning. “The investigation into your dad and his operation was my last job.”
She let out a loud breath. “Of course. It all makes perfect sense, now.”
“It does?”
“Sure it does. You got what you wanted. Dad and Ivan went to prison, I was forced into protective custody, and Mikhail...” Her eyes widened. “Did he know?”
“Not at first,” Mike answered honestly. “I told him later.”
Juliet’s lips curled into one of the saddest smiles he’d ever seen. “You’re the reason he testified.”
“Yes.”
“So, you’re the reason he’s dead.”
Mike swallowed a huge-ass ball of guilt and told her the truth. “If you want to blame me for Mikhail’s suicide, you can. But the truth is your dad did put that wheel in motion before you or I were ever even born.”
Her hand went to her mouth and tears fell down her cheeks. “You destroyed my family.”
“Alexandar did that. He and Ivan both. Not me.”
“My god.” She pushed herself to her feet and walked woodenly into the livin
g room. “Why were you at my house that night? Was it because my father was granted a new trial?”
“No.”
Juliet spun on her heels to face him. “That’s it, isn’t it? Your friends in the CIA heard Dad had been released...that he was granted a new trial and might go free.”
“No.”
“They sent you back in, didn’t they? That’s why you were there the night Schreiber broke in. You didn’t just happen to show up at the right time. You were watching me. Waiting until I needed you so you could swoop back into my life to do what? Use me against my father?”
“Goddamnit, no!” Mike stormed across the room to her. “I tried to stay away. God help me, I tried. Not because I wanted to, but because I knew you deserved better than someone like me. Someone who’s lived half his life not knowing who he was going to be from one day to the next.”
His chest heaved and he forced himself to draw in a handful of slow, deep breaths. Juliet just stood there staring at him as if she were trying to figure out what was real and what was total bullshit.
Join the fucking club.
“I told so many lies back then to so many people back then, the truth damn near became unrecognizable. But then I met you, and the truth became so clear. Yes, I used your brother to gain access to your father. Yes, at first, I thought maybe I could do the same with you, but then I got to know you. I fell in love with you. After that, everything I did...everything I’d become was about protecting you.”
Mike blinked against the burning in his eyes. He didn’t even notice the tear that had escaped one of them until he felt it hit his cheek and roll off of his chin.
With an angry swipe of his hand, he wiped his face dry and continued on. Continued fighting for the one and only woman to ever make him see past the bullshit.
She made me want a future.
“The day that FBI prick Fuller came and took you away, I fought with everything I had to get him to see you weren’t like the rest of them. That you weren’t like your father or Ivan, and you knew nothing about your dad’s sex trafficking business. But he wouldn’t listen. Neither would Ben. No one, not the CIA or the FBI, would fucking listen!”
Mike ran a frustrated hand through his hair, grabbing a clump and squeezing. A million little pinpricks of pain spread throughout his scalp before he finally let go.