Relinquishing Liberty (Second Chances)

  It was growing later, and I knew our time together was growing short, but I didn’t want him to go just yet. I wondered when we would get a chance to see each other again.

  “Would you like to go somewhere with me next weekend?” He said, catching his bottom lip between his teeth nervously, but his eyes looked hopeful.

  “Together? Like a date?”

  “Yeah, like a date.” He looked down as he laughed, but his eyes peered up at me through his mile-long lashes.

  “Depends. What did you have in mind?” I didn’t want to come off too eager.

  “It’s a surprise.” Of course. I hated surprises, and the expression on my face must have told him so.

  “Don’t worry, it’s not bad. You’ll like it.”

  “You seem pretty confident for someone who barely knows me.”

  “Well, I’d really like to get to know you better, Liberty.”

  A light breeze blew a strand of my hair softly across my face. Shayne reached over brushing it away, but his hand remained there, running his thumb across my jaw. Shayne’s tongue dipped out wetting his lips, and I closed my eyes, anticipating Shayne’s kiss. I felt his warm breath against my face as he chastely pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth. I slowly peeled my eyes open as he pulled away.

  “Goodnight, sweet Liberty.”

  I watched as he walked off towards the parking lot, and smiled, noticing there was a little extra bounce in his step. I stood there unconsciously spinning the bracelet back and forth around my wrist until he was out of sight and let out a happy sigh. This was by far, the best birthday ever!

  After Shayne left, I walked back up to Brett’s apartment, and to my surprise, most of the guests had already left. Honestly it didn’t faze me. I knew they weren’t really here for me. They just wanted an excuse to party and get free booze. I looked around for Maddie, but she was nowhere in sight. Great, she was my ride here.

  “Liberty, there you are! Where the hell have you been, darlin’?” With a beer in hand, Brett definitely wasn’t done partying.

  “Sorry, I was just outside talking to Shayne. I couldn’t hear over the music, and I wanted to get some fresh air.”

  “Yeah, I was surprised when I saw him waltz into my apartment like he owned the place. I didn’t realize you invited him.” He smiled at me, but I could tell it was forced.

  I didn’t understand what he had against Shayne, but I could’ve really cared less. Brett would just have to deal with the fact that Shayne might be around more often, especially if our date next weekend went well.

  My buzz was starting to wear off, and all I wanted to do was get some sleep. I could already tell tomorrow I was going to have a wicked hangover.

  “Do you know where Maddie is? She was my ride here,” I said as I scanned the room.

  “Yeah, she already left with some guy…Josh, Jeff, Jeremy…something like that.” Left? How could she just leave me here? Did she expect me to walk all the way back to our apartment this late at night?

  “No worries, darlin’. I already told Maddie it was fine if you stay here tonight.”

  “Fine, I’ll take the couch. Do you have some clothes I can borrow? There’s no way in hell I’m sleeping in this dress.”

  “Actually you’re going to have to stay in my room. I don’t trust Travis to keep his hands to himself when he’s drunk. Well…I don’t really trust him when he’s sober, either.” He laughed, but I didn’t find the situation humorous at all. First I’m informed I’m stranded here, and now I have to share a bed with Brett. Could anything else go wrong?

  “As long as you stay on your side of the bed, I don’t really care. I just want to get some sleep.”

  Brett led me back to his room and tossed one of his t-shirts at me, shutting the door behind him so I had some privacy to change. It only hit me about mid-thigh, but it got the job done. I crawled under the plush covers and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  I’m not sure when Brett came back in the room, but the sun was just barely beginning to peek through the curtains, and there was now a warm, shirtless chest pressed up against my back. His hot breath tickled the back of my neck as I felt his chest rise and fall next to me. I started to freak out when I realized there was a hand under my shirt, flat against my bare stomach, just inches away from my lace panties. The other was clutching my breast with nothing more than the thin material of Brett’s t-shirt that I had borrowed providing a barrier from his hand. Oh no…no, no, no! Please tell me this isn’t happening! I was in full-blown panic mode as I sprung out of his bed, searching the floor frantically for my dress and shoes.

  “Whoa, Liberty, calm down! Why are you freaking the fuck out?”

  I buried my face in my hands. “Brett…please tell me we did not have sex last night!” I peeked through my fingers to gauge his reaction.

  “What? No! Of course not! Darlin’, I’m pretty sure I’d remember something like that.” A smug grin spread across his face, but I was not buying it.

  “Then why the hell were you pressed up against me with your hands everywhere!?” Oh God, this could not be happening! I had to hold back the tears that were quickly welling up in my eyes. There is no way I had lost my virginity and missed out on the whole thing…with Brett of all people! Oh. My. God. This would ruin everything!

  “Liberty, shhh, it’s okay.” He cautiously pulled me towards him, gently rubbing my shoulders to help me relax. “I swear we didn’t have sex. You were passed out cold when I got in bed, and I fell asleep on my side, but I guess I must have gravitated towards you during the night. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but honestly, I didn’t do it on purpose. I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do, especially after you were drinking. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?”

  My heart rate gradually came down and returned to normal when I realized that what he was telling me was the truth. How could I honestly believe that Brett would ever take advantage of me like that? He was like a brother to me for fuck’s sake! When I turned to look at him I could see the hurt in his eyes, and I immediately regretted jumping to that conclusion.

  “Jesus, Brett, I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to assume anything. I know you would never do anything like that. I just freaked out. I mean, with the position we were in...it…it just looked bad. I really am sorry. Do you forgive me?”

  Brett waved his hands in front of him, dismissing my plea. “Liberty, you don’t need my forgiveness. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  He bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead before walking over to his closet, pulling my dress down from one of the hangers and placing it on the bed next to me. He must have found it after I drunkenly tossed it across the room last night. That was sweet of him to hang it up; most guys were slobs and would have just left it on the floor to wrinkle.

  “Why don’t you go get changed, and I’ll give you a ride home. If you’re a good girl, I just might grab you some coffee on the way there.” He smiled and winked at me over his shoulder before shutting the door behind him.

  I had to laugh. He always knew how to cheer me up, and nothing made me happier than a jolt of caffeine first thing in the morning. He caught on pretty quick that I had a slight obsession with Dunkin Donuts’ blueberry coffee, and he now made a habit of bringing it over to the apartment every morning just for me. Clearly he paid attention to what I order because he got my coffee right every time…a little bit of cream and LOTS of sugar. Maddie would bitch every time when she saw that he didn’t bring any for her, but that girl was so full of energy, one drop of caffeine would probably send her into hyper-drive.

  I sat down on the edge of his bed and let out a heavy sigh. My heart sank a little when I thought about the repercussions of what had just happened. Brett surprisingly didn’t seem fazed at all by his actions, but I couldn’t help thinking that things might become a bit awkward between us now. I mean, Brett, who had become one of my best friends and a second brother, practically fondled me in his
sleep! That’s not something I could just forget so easily. More than anything, I hoped that this wouldn’t create any problems for us, especially at work. That was one area of my life I prayed would remain drama free.

  Things went back to normal after that crazy morning waking up in Brett’s bed. He felt so bad about what happened, and I could tell he was making the extra effort to take my mind off of it. He continued to show up at my apartment every morning with fresh coffee, just the way I like it, and now even added in a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. That definitely earned him a few brownie points.

  I had been working a lot of afternoon shifts at “AJ’s”, which didn’t leave me much time to spend with Maddie, since she was back in school and always worked the night shift during the week. I was surprised to see her car was still home when I got home from work, but when I entered our living room, I found her curled up on the couch with tears streaming down her face.

  “Maddie? What’s wrong, hon?” I sat on the floor beside the couch, rubbing circles on her back. She turned her face towards me while wiping the moisture from her cheeks.

  “I’m late.” She barely croaked the words out.

  “Well, that’s okay, I’m sure Bob won’t hassle you too much. Do you want me to call and let them know you’re running late?”

  “No, Liberty, I’m late!” She looked dead serious. I had never seen her this upset about being late for work. I mean come on; she was late all the time. That was nothing new. Wait…oh, shit…

  “Maddie, do you think you’re—”

  “Don’t say it! I don’t even want to think about it!” She buried her face into the couch cushion.

  “Well, do you know for sure? Have you taken a test yet?”

  “No. I don’t want to know. God, this can’t be happening again!” Again? Oh, Maddie…

  “All right, Maddie, we won’t know for sure until you take a test. I know you’re scared, but you have to do this. I’ll go stop by the drug store and pick it up for you, okay?” She looked up at me with red puffy eyes and nodded.

  “I’ll be back in about half an hour. Just try to relax. Will you be all right by yourself?” She laid back down on the couch, hugging a pillow and nodded again.

  I had never bought a pregnancy test before. Fuck, I had never even had sex! Being in that aisle of the store made me feel so uncomfortable. I looked at all of the different options. One of the results showed two pink lines, one had a blue plus sign, another had a smiley face and the most obvious one straight out said “pregnant”. I had no clue which one to get!

  “Fuck it. I’ll just buy all of them.”

  I exited the aisle, clutching the little boxes to my chest, and ran straight into the one person I did not want to see me making this purchase. The pregnancy tests flew out of my hands and scattered across the floor at his feet.

  “Shayne!” I gasped in surprise.

  “Sorry I didn’t see you there, sweetheart. We seem to be making a habit of crashing into each other.” He lifted my chin with his index finger, drawing my gaze away from floor. His beautiful smile beamed down at me with such fervor, it made my knees weak. Why did he have to be so damn irresistible?

  “What do ya got there?” He reached down to pick up the mess we had made, but as he read the labels of the boxes the smile on his face faded, and his expression grew very serious.

  “Oh…uh…those aren’t mine. I mean they are, but…shit. They’re mine, but they’re not for me. They’re for a friend.” I snatched them out of his hands and started to head towards the register at a brisk pace. The sooner I got out of here the better.

  He held his hands up in front of him. “Hey, it’s none of my business. Hope everything turns out okay.” With that, he simply turned and began to walk away.

  I couldn’t leave with him thinking there was a possibility that I was pregnant. Shit. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to do this.

  “Wait, Shayne!” He stopped mid-step, but didn’t turn around. I ran to catch up to him and explain, but I wasn’t sure what to say. So, I took a deep breath and just blurted it out.

  “I’m a virgin!” Well. There it was. Out in the open. I’m sure every customer and employee in the store heard me since I practically shouted it. Wonderful. I was now completely and utterly humiliated.

  I turned, not wanting him to see the embarrassment that was so obviously displayed on my face. I could feel the heat spread across my cheeks, and I knew without a doubt that my face was now beet red. I mentally cursed my mother for passing on her trait for blushing so easily. I couldn’t even look at the cashier as I paid for my purchase. I grabbed my bag and practically ran out to the parking lot, ignoring the footsteps that trailed behind me.

  Before I could place my key in the door, two arms caged me in against my car. I screamed and spun around with my back pressed against the door. Shayne stood up straight, giving me some room to breathe.

  “Liberty, I believed you when you said they weren’t for you. Even if they were, that doesn’t change my opinion of you.” I could see in eyes that he was being genuine.

  “And about the other thing…you don’t need to be embarrassed about that. I think it’s very admirable that you’ve been able to save yourself. Nowadays, people are so ready to just lose it to anyone.” I really didn’t want to have this conversation with him. I placed my hand on his firm chest to give me some room to open my car door, but before I could push him away, he pulled me in close and wrapped his arms around me. Instinctively, I pressed my face to his neck and breathed in deep. He smelled of cologne and the sea; it was intoxicating. His lips pressed up against my temple before releasing me.

  “Are we still on for this weekend?” I smiled up at him and nodded. I was afraid to speak after what I just revealed to him. Heaven forbid I reveal any more embarrassing little tidbits of info to him!

  “Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your week. See you Saturday, sweetheart.”

  I fell back against the car, unable to hold myself up any longer. How does he do that? No one has ever made me literally weak at the knees. Only Shayne.

  When I got back to the apartment, Maddie was right where I left her: curled up on the couch. All those tears shed must have worn her out because she was passed out cold and lightly snoring. I gently shook her shoulder to wake her up, and all I got in response were a few grumbled words I couldn’t make out. I knew how much Maddie loved to sleep; I learned that the first day I came to the apartment when she nearly bit my head off for coming over so early. But I didn’t want to waste any more time and risk her changing her mind. As scary as this was for her, she was going to have to find out eventually. Plus after what I just went through to get them, she better damn well take these tests!

  “Maddie, sweetie, I’m back with the tests. I’ll leave them in the bathroom for you when you’re ready to take them.” She turned over and slowly opened her swollen eyes to look in my direction.

  She took in a deep breath and exhaled, giving me a weak smile as she stood up and grabbed the bag out of my hand before heading towards the end of the hall. “All right. Let’s just get this over with.”

  “Whatever the results are, I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone.” I squeezed her hand before she shut the bathroom door. I didn’t want to leave her alone in there, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t want me standing there watching her piss on a stick.

  “Jesus, Liberty, how many did you buy!?” She gawked as she looked in the bag.

  “Well, I wasn’t sure which one to get. I’ve never bought them before! There were so many different kinds, and I was getting flustered trying to pick one. Plus, I figured it would be better to take more than one anyway just to be sure.”

  About a minute later I heard Maddie unlock the door, opening it a crack to let me in. “So…how long do we have to wait?”

  “Three minutes.” Maddie put the toilet lid down and sat facing away from the white, plastic sticks laid out on the counter. I stood there staring at my watch, wai
ting for the time to go by. It had to be the longest three minutes of my life. Why is it time seems to slow down when something monumental is about to take place?

  I couldn’t get a good read on what was going through Maddie’s mind. She sat there with a blank look on her face, staring at nothing in particular on the wall. I was just glad she was crying anymore. It broke my heart to see her so upset.

  The three minutes were finally up. I was just as afraid to look at those life-altering plastic sticks as Maddie was. “Do you want to look or do you want me to do it?”

  Maddie slowly turned around, not answering me, and looked towards the counter. At that moment, the color that had previously drained from her face returned. I took that as a good sign and looked down at the tests. All negative! I released the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding and pulled Maddie in for hug.

  “Oh, Maddie, I was so worried! Thank God everything is okay. I can’t imagine having to go through a pregnancy scare like that.”

  “Yeah, well try going through it twice.” She looked embarrassed and walked out of the bathroom. All right, I wasn’t expecting that, but then I recalled when she first told me she was late and that this was happening “again”. It all made sense now. I wasn’t going to push her for details, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.

  She sat back on the couch, staring out the window. I could tell by her posture that she was relieved, but her eyes glistened with tears unshed. Maybe deep down she was hoping she really was pregnant…but I knew she didn’t have a boyfriend, and being a full-time student and working part-time wouldn’t leave much time for raising a baby.

  “Maddie what’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy.”

  Maddie opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She looked like she was struggling to find the right words, but with little success. Finally she spoke, but it came out as a whisper, “I was pregnant once.”