Relinquishing Liberty (Second Chances)

  “I’m so sorry,” she softly whispered. I watched her climb in her car and speed off down the road, leaving a cloud of dust in her wake and another gaping hole in my heart.

  I slumped down, crossing my arms over my knees and buried my face in them to muffle my cries as they continued rack through my body. God, that just made it so much worse because I could still smell her sweet scent coating my skin from this morning. As soon as it hit me, I wanted nothing more than to have her back, safe in my arms so I could tell her how much I love her and would always love her until the day I take my very last breath. That woman owned me in every way possible, and I was pretty sure the moment Liberty walked away, she took my heart right along with her…but it was always hers anyways. Always. Even before she fell into my life, it belonged to her, and now, more than ever, I knew that was true.

  As I walked back into the house, our home, I could see little bits and pieces of her surrounding me, and it just worsened the ache that consumed my chest. It was so quiet without her here; without her laughter filling the air and her beautiful face lighting up the room. People say you never know what you have until it’s gone, and without Liberty, this wasn’t home. My home was wherever she was. We could live in a cardboard box for all I care, and as long as I was with her, I’d be home.

  I stepped into the kitchen and grabbed the first bottle I could find. Johnny Walker Black…that’ll do. Maybe if I got shit-faced drunk it could help ease the pain and erase all of the memories I held of her here. I filled a glass with ice and topped it off with the amber liquor. I didn’t drink often, at least not to the point of getting drunk. The last time I had was the night before I met Liberty. I was having a rough night and thoughts of Wade were weighing heavily on my mind, so I went down to The Red Light District and got annihilated. The last thing I remember was Vanessa throwing herself at me, but I guess I was still sober enough to turn down her offer to suck me off in the restroom.

  I downed the first drink and poured another, finishing it just as quickly. After a third full glass, the room was beginning to look hazy, so I laid back on the couch and shut my eyes, but all I saw was her. All I ever saw was her.

  A few hours later my head was pounding, my ears were ringing and the voices I heard around me sure as hell weren’t helping.

  “Do you think he’s alive?”

  “I don’t know, why don’t you poke him and find out?”

  I felt someone nudge me in the ribs with their shoe, and I flailed my arm over, swatting the intruder away.

  “Well I guess he’s not dead, but dude, he sure smells like it.”

  I finally peeled one of my eyes open to find Travis and Corey standing over me with disgusted looks on their faces. How the hell did they even get in here?

  “What the fuck are you two numbskulls doing here?” I slowly sat up and all of the blood rushed to my head, increasing the uncontrollable throbbing that made me want to stab myself. I ran my hands over my face, wiping away the drool covering my cheek.

  “Well, we saw your back door was wide open, so we decided to come crash your party, but then Brett sent me a text to let us know that he and Liberty left a while ago and that she was crashing at our place.” Corey didn’t seem too keen on the idea of Liberty staying at their apartment. Neither was I.

  “Man, what the hell happened here? There’s glass all over the deck, and you smell like you just bathed in a pool of Johnny.” Travis picked up the empty bottle beside the couch that was nearly full just a few hours earlier. “No wonder you smell like something just keeled over and died. This shit must be seeping out of your damn pores!”

  “Yeah, well, if you just lost your only reason for living, you’d probably want to die, too. I guess I was just pre-gaming for the big finale.” God, I just wanted the room to stop spinning and the visions of Liberty to fade away.

  “Shit, man, what happened?” Corey sat down beside me with his arms resting on his knees.

  “Well, your roommate’s conniving bitch of a sister failed to tell me that she killed my baby four years ago.” I shut my eyes and leaned my head back. Just thinking about it had the bile burning in my throat.

  “Whoa, wait…rewind. Maddie never had a baby.” Travis stated matter-of-factly.

  “My point exactly.”

  I opened my eyes and saw them looking at each other with puzzled expressions on their faces, but it finally hit Corey first. “Oh shit, bro. Wow. We never knew she was even pregnant.”

  “Yeah, neither did I until now. I don’t think Liberty knows that, though. I’ve never seen her look so…so broken. She has to know that I would never do anything to hurt her. I would rather die than ever see that look on her face again. God, I just love her so fucking much.”

  “I never pegged you for an emotional drunk, Thompson,” Travis said as he poked at the brownies’ charred remains on top of the stove.

  “Shut the fuck up, Travis. I’ve just had my heart torn out of my chest. How about a little sympathy here?”

  “Look, I’m sorry man. I’m not trying to rile you up more, but what the hell are you doing? Are you just gonna sit there and get tanked while another guy steps in and comforts your girl? We all know how Brett feels about Liberty. It’s not like he keeps it a secret; he never stops running his goddamn mouth about her. If you love her as much as you say you do, than you better damn well fight for her before Brett gets his hands on her.”

  Now I was seeing red. The thought of Brett with his slimy hands all over her…FUCK! I had to get over there. Now. I stood up and grabbed hold of Travis’s shoulder as I tried to steady myself. Shit, I was still too hammered to drive, but there was no way I was letting that stop me from getting my woman back.

  “Are either of you guys sober?”

  “I am. I stopped drinking a while ago,” Corey said. Thank Christ, because I was about to start walking what usually took about a 20-minute drive.

  “Well, let’s go!”

  I stumbled out of the house and hopped in his car. I don’t even know if I shut the door before we left, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered unless Liberty was a part of my life, and I wasn’t going to let her slip through my fingers so easily. I had to fight for her. I had to make sure she knew the truth. That I wasn’t some selfish bastard who’d make an innocent teenage girl get rid of my unborn child…my own flesh and blood. Fresh tears stung my eyes as I watched the streetlights pass by one after the other, and I had this gut-wrenching feeling that I was slowly losing her as the minutes slipped by.

  I couldn’t lose her. Not now.

  I pounded on the door over and over again, until I finally heard movement on the other side steadily approaching. The door swung open, and Brett stood there in sopping wet clothes, dripping all over the hardwood floors.

  “Where is she?” I all but snarled out.

  “She’s fine, but I think you should leave.” He began shutting the door, but I quickly shoved my foot in-between the door and the frame. Was this fucking douche-nozzle seriously going to shut the door in my face?

  “I’m not going anywhere until I talk to her, Brett. She needs to hear me out. She needs to hear the whole truth.”

  “I’m pretty sure we all heard enough today. Now I went easy on you earlier, so unless you want to add a broken foot to your growing list of injuries, I suggest you remove it. What’s it gonna be?” Brett stood there with his arms crossed over chest. Does this guy really think he can intimidate me? I’ve got at least three inches and 20 or 30 pounds on him. If he wants a fight, he’ll get one, but I guarantee it won’t end well for him.

  “Look, I’m not here to start any shit with you. I just want to talk to her.” I looked him in the eye imploringly. “Please.”

  He opened the door a little wider, and that’s when I saw her. Her beautiful auburn hair was wet and clinging to her face, and she had her arms wrapped around herself. The t-shirt she was wearing only hit her about mid-thigh, but it was who it belonged to that had my blood boiling. With the Savannah State University logo em
blazed across her chest, it wasn’t hard to figure out who was the owner of said shirt.

  “Sweetheart…” I stepped forward, reaching out for her. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and reassure her that everything was going to be fine and that this was all just a huge misunderstanding that would soon blow over.

  “Don’t.” Her posture was rigid and her mouth was set in a hard, straight line.

  “Liberty, please, I need you to hear me out. You don’t know the whole truth. I didn’t know anything about the baby.”

  “Are you serious?” Her voice cracked. “Can’t you see how much you’ve hurt me already? How much you’ve hurt Maddie? Trust me Shayne; I don’t need to hear another word that comes out of your mouth. I don’t need to hear any more of your lies, and considering you are clearly drunk, I’m pretty sure that’s all I would get out of you.”

  “I’m telling you the truth! You have to believe me!” I shook my head. I had to make her believe me. “I am so sorry I never told you about Maddie…but the pregnancy? The abortion? Baby, she never even told me. I had no idea there ever was a baby, and I sure as hell would never make her get rid of it. That was my baby, too!”

  Brett walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her protectively. I hated seeing him touch her in such an intimate way, especially when she was wearing nothing more than his fucking shirt. The caveman in me wanted to tear her from his clutches, but I kept my cool and lowered my voice.

  “Liberty, please. Tell me what I have to do to make you believe me. I’ll do anything. I can’t lose you.” I was about ready to get down on my knees and beg…and I absolutely would.

  “The fact that you feel like you need to make me believe you, tells me I shouldn’t. I’m done, Shayne. I’m done with the lies. I never should have trusted you in the first place. Everyone tried to warn me, but I went against my better judgment and thought that maybe, just maybe, you were different. For Christ’s sake, your own father told me that you were worried that sooner or later you would fuck things up, and now I’m the one kicking myself in the ass for not listening!”

  She was right. God, she was so fucking right. I knew that eventually I would screw things up with her; it was inevitable. Things between us had been so perfect, and every second of every day I was just waiting to wake up from this amazing dream. A dream about a beautiful girl that fell into my life and stole my heart from the very second I laid eyes on her angelic face. But I always woke up before the dream was over, and now I knew why. Because it was never a dream at all…it was nothing but a fucking nightmare.

  “I think you need to do us both a favor and just walk away because nothing you say or do will be able to fix the mess you created.”

  “No, baby, please…I love you. I love you so fucking much.” And for the second time today, I fell to my knees before her. It may have been my last attempt to hold on to the woman that I love and want to spend the rest of my days with, and if the tears that were now pouring down my face weren’t an indication of the love I held deep within my soul for this woman, I didn’t know what were.

  Liberty shook her head as her own tears consumed her and racked through her tiny frame in ugly sobs. “I c-can’t do this, S-Shayne. I’m s-sorry.”

  She carefully slipped free from Brett’s hold and ran past both of us down the hall, slamming a door behind her. Her cries echoed throughout his apartment, and it killed me to know how much I was hurting her. I made her a promise that I would never hurt her, and here I was breaking that promise.

  People say that nothing good ever lasts, and that one simple statement was never more so true than now. But why her? Why did it have to be her?

  After Shayne left, I continued to cry long into the night until I finally passed out from utter exhaustion. When Brett slipped into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me snug against his chest, I was relieved that he didn’t push me to finish where we had left off earlier that night. There’s no way I could have gone through with it, and I was a fool to have let my guard down in a brief moment of vulnerability.

  I felt the warmth of the sun hit my face as it began to creep through the window and finally decided to untwist my body from the sheets and drag myself out of bed. When I made it to the kitchen, I sat down on one of the stools and propped my elbows up on the bar, resting my head in my hands. Brett was still facing the stove, flipping thick slices of French toast in a pan while he spoke.

  “So how are you feeling, darlin’?” He cracked a few eggs and beat them until they were whipped and fluffy before pouring them into another a pan.

  “Fine.” I stared at the limestone countertop, tracing my finger aimlessly around a few cracks.

  Brett set a glass of orange juice in front of me and gently stilled my hand, pulling me out of my foggy stupor. He tilted his head to the side and with his brow raised; he gave me a knowing look. “C’mon, Liberty. I know when you’re lying. Whenever girls say they’re ‘fine’, it’s never true. Now, tell me how you’re really feeling.”

  I rolled my eyes at his perceptiveness. “I feel like shit, Brett. There…happy?”

  “That’s more like it.” He turned back towards the stove to finish scrambling the eggs.

  “What? So you’re glad that I’m fucking miserable after having my heart torn out and ripped to shreds? Wow. Thanks for attempting to comfort me, Brett, but I think I’ll relieve you of your duties because you really suck at it.”

  He slid a plate piled high with golden-brown French toast, perfectly scrambled eggs and fresh cantaloupe across the counter before taking a seat beside me. “No. I’m just glad that you’re being honest about your feelings. You don’t need to go around pretending everything is picture perfect for anyone else’s benefit. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, go ahead and fucking scream your little heart out. But don’t sit there and tell me you’re fine when I know deep down you’re hurting.”

  I shoveled a forkful of eggs in my mouth to disguise my trembling lip. I was pretty sure there weren’t any tears left in me to cry, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

  “I already called Bob to let him know you wouldn’t be in today, so you don’t need to worry about finding anyone to cover your shift.”

  “I’d actually much rather be at work.” I swirled the syrup around my plate at my sudden loss of appetite. “At this point, any distraction is a welcome. I’ll call him back in a little while.”

  He lifted my chin and looked down at me with concerned eyes. “Are you sure about that? You’re more than welcome to stay here and just veg out the rest of the day.”

  “Honestly, Brett, that’s the last thing I want to do. I need to stay busy and keep my mind off of…him.”

  “I understand.” He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before stepping into the living room to grab two large bags full of clothes. My clothes. “Well, you’re in luck. I stopped by his place today with your key and grabbed some of your clothes. I’ll get the rest with Travis and Corey later tonight.”

  I slowly swiveled the stool around to face him, my jaw hanging in astonishment. “You what? When? Was he there? Did you talk to him?”

  “No, luckily he wasn’t there, but the place was still a mess. Looked to me like he never went back home.”

  That didn’t surprise me. Even though I only lived with him for a month, Shayne’s house still harbored so many memories that we had shared together, and I knew I could never go back there without stirring up old feelings. Surely Shayne felt the same way, too.

  “Well I appreciate you doing that, Brett. I was worried I was going to have to go to work wearing this.” I looked down at Brett’s SSU shirt that just barely covered my lady bits.

  “I don’t know. I bet you’d get quite a few extra tips for wearing that. It is my lucky shirt, after all. I’m thinking maybe I should just bring these back…” He gave me a sly grin before reaching down for the bags, but I quickly swiped them out of his reach.

  “Don’t you dare!” I ran down the hall with
my bags in tow and tossed them on Brett’s bed. I dug through them and grabbed a pair of jeans and my “AJ’s Oceanside Restaurant” shirt. To my surprise, he even remembered to grab a few pairs of undies. Normally it would have bothered me that he went digging through my underwear drawer, but my only other options would have been to wear a pair of Brett’s boxer briefs or go commando. Yeah, not happening.

  After showering and calling Bob back to let him know that I would be working my shift after all, I spent the rest of the day slaughtering zombies with Brett on his PS3 until it was time for us to leave. I totally kicked his ass, and I made sure to blatantly rub it in his face the whole ride over to “AJ’s”.

  It wasn’t even five minutes after I stepped foot in the restaurant, that Bob pulled me aside to talk to me.

  “Look, I’m really sorry about all of the confusion this morning when Brett called you. I’m going through a bad break-up right now, but I promise I won’t let it affect my work. I’d much rather just keep busy and get on with my life so I can forget this whole fucking nightmare ever happened.”

  I was amazed that I had gotten that all out in one breath, but I figured it was best to just get it out in the open before he started the interrogation.

  Bob sat there staring at me with an odd expression on his face, like I had just sprouted three heads and grown a tail. “Uh, Liberty, this isn’t about that. I just wanted to let you know that I received a phone call about an hour ago from a woman who said she’s been franticly looking for you for months. She didn’t leave a name or number, just wanted to confirm that you actually worked here. Normally I wouldn’t divulge that information to anyone, but she sounded pretty upset.”

  I definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that today.