As much as her parents kept their distance, Kate knew she needed to tell them about the fire. Julia was still their daughter and they had lost a valued member of their family last night.
Telling the story a third time wasn’t going to be easy.
Kate hadn’t spoken to them in months. The last she’d heard they were living in a motorhome following the NASCAR circuit, and were somewhere in North Carolina.
As soon as she answered the phone and realized it was Kate calling, Elyse Kapowski launched into a spiel about the many national landmarks in the great Tar Heel State. Kate’s mother went into detail about how beautiful Lake Fisher was and raved about the amazing golf courses and parks they’d seen.
But this wasn’t a social call. Kate didn’t care about sights and landmarks. She just wanted her mother to let her get a word in edgewise. The sooner she got to the reason for calling, the sooner she could get back to the real world and caring for Julia. “There was a fire at Julia’s apartment,” Kate cut in. Her tone was blunt, but it couldn’t be helped.
“Oh.” Somehow her mother managed to pack the single word with disappointment. “We don’t need to come up, do we?”
Yes, Kate wanted to scream. Drop what you’re doing, get on a damn plane and get here. Your youngest daughter is hurting. Maybe not physically, but she’s hurting all the same. Shamus is gone and he was more a part of our family than you are.
Kate just sighed. She shouldn’t have called. But she’d been carrying the load for so long. Was it too much to want her mother to share some of the burden? Of course it was. That’s why she was standing in her kitchen holding a phone to her ear listening to a one-sided conversation.
“No,” Kate said simply. “I just thought you should know.”
“Okay, well…” With her motherly obligations fulfilled, Elyse picked up where she had left off and began describing an antique shop in Charlotte she had fallen in love with.
To avoid a fight, Kate replied at the appropriate times and pretended like she gave two shits about what her mother was talking about. Over the years she’d learned it was best that way. She’d fought with her mother before and all it did was upset Julia and solved nothing between Kate and her mother.
Logan came up behind Kate and rested his chin on her shoulder. She leaned back and his arms came around her waist.
Everything was as it should be. Logan was there to comfort her when her parents were not. The sting of their rejection was lessened when he held her in his arms.
* * *
Logan stood in Kate’s kitchen long after she’d left to check on Julia and thought about the vast difference between their parents. When he told his mother about his accident, she had all but hopped on a plane to the States while she was still on the phone with him. She had always bent over backwards for him, especially when he was growing up and had dreams of becoming a professional hockey player. She had put his needs and wants first and tirelessly drove him to hockey practice because she knew it was what he wanted.
Kate didn’t talk much about her and Julia’s parents. From what Logan gathered from overhearing Kate’s conversation with her mother, their relationships with their parents were quite different.
Logan couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world and then leaving him or her to flounder on their own. Not that Kate and Julia had floundered. Quite the contrary. They were strong, independent women and he was proud to know them both.
Chapter Twenty-Three
In the Mourning
When Julia woke up there was a heaviness on her chest and a burning behind her eyes. The pounding at her temples did nothing to help matters. Even after the bath last night, the smell of smoke still clung inside her nostrils.
Out of habit, she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She needed to let Shamus out because Kate didn’t have a doggie door and…
And then she remembered. Absently, she patted the space next to her on the bed. His big warm body wasn’t there and neither was the steady sound of his breathing. Realization came quick, knocking the breath from her lungs.
Shamus wouldn’t need to be fed today. Tomorrow she’d have to be reminded of that all over again, along with every morning after that.
Julia’s hand stilled. She didn’t even have Cassidy to feed anymore either. She was gone too. Probably wandering the neighborhood aimlessly, cold and hungry and alone and frightened.
She collapsed back onto the bed and decided it would be the perfect place to spend the next one hundred years or so.
The borrowed clothes felt foreign against her skin. Everything was gone. Her clothes, her keyboard, the glass pansy, Cassidy... And Shamus.
It didn’t matter that all of her belongings had gone up in flames inside her apartment. It didn’t matter that all of her things were burnt to a crisp. The only thing that mattered was Shamus. And he wasn’t replaceable. And neither was Cassidy.
Going blind had been devastating, but at least she’d been prepared for it. Losing her sight had taken weeks, a slow descent into permanent darkness. This…this was a quick devastation, a knife through the heart. Everything had happened lightning quick before she could even react. Even now, after a night to think about it, she couldn’t come up with anything she could’ve done differently to save him.
Movement from the far side of the bed reminded Julia that she wasn’t completely alone after all.
Gabe.
He shifted and she realized she must have woken him when she’d flopped back onto the bed.
Good, he was awake, was her first thought. Then she wouldn’t have to lay here in the darkness with her own deafening thoughts. After the worst night of her life, finding Gabe had come back to Red Valley was a beacon in the storm. No matter how dark and intimidating the rainclouds were, at least she had a Gabe-sized umbrella.
He wasn’t even supposed to be here, was her next thought.
He scooted toward her and pulled her into his arms. Not questioning his presence, she rested her forehead against his chest and took a moment to relish the feel of his steady heartbeat beneath her palm.
“The smoke alarm never went off,” she told him. “Isn’t it supposed to beep if the batteries are low?”
“Yes, they are,” he answered, his voice muffled by her hair.
“I know I didn’t sleep through it. It never went off. I know my neighbor probably left a candle burning.” She was always burning those damned aromatherapy candles. Lavender and jasmine for calm and relaxation.
Yeah, everything was real calm now, Julia thought bitterly.
“I’m sure the fire department will investigate the cause.”
“I’m not sharing a wall with someone again and putting my life in their hands.”
Gabe pulled his arms tighter around her waist. “We’ll figure something out.” He needed somewhere to live, too. But all that would fall into place eventually. Right now he just wanted to hold her and savor the feel of her body pressed against his. Last night could have easily turned out differently and he would have lost everything. But now Julia was the one grieving.
She snuggled closer, silently wishing they could stay like this forever and completely forget about the outside world. But this was Kate’s guestroom inside Kate’s house and she and Gabe would have to face reality sooner than later.
She turned away from him and became the little spoon. “It should’ve been me.”
His body tensed. “Don’t you dare talk like that!”
“No, I mean I should’ve been the one to rescue him. If I could see, I would’ve scooped him up and got him the hell outta there.” Not the other way around.
“His job was to protect you and it was a job he was damn good at.”
And it had cost him his life.
“What are you doing here, Gabe?” She hadn’t asked last night, she’d just drawn comfort from his presence and didn’t question it. As much as she liked him being there, he wasn’t supposed to be. This wasn’t where he belonged. He was supposed to be in Chi-T
own finishing his work. Killingsworth would have a shit fit if he knew Gabe was missing work. “You aren’t supposed to be here,” she told him.
“Killingsworth shut down the VINCE project. I took a job at MacDaddy Games.”
“Wait a minute.” She twisted around to face him and touched her hand to his cheek. “Back up. They shut VINCE down?”
“’Terminated’ was Killingsworth’s exact words. They couldn’t see enough financial gain coming out of it and dropped it in favor of a retrofit at a retail warehouse.”
His voice was oddly void of emotion like he was talking about the weather or the stock market.
Julia sighed. He must be in shock. Or denial.
“Oh Gabe. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
He sounded calm. Much too calm.
“What are you going to do? You can’t give up on it. That project was your life. Not to mention the fact that it changed my life too. VINCE enabled me to have freedom that I didn’t have before. Other people out there would be greatly helped by it. And not just the blind, but paraplegics and amputees...”
“That’s where MacDaddy comes in. You remember that day I had lunch with Colby?”
She nodded.
“Well, he offered me a job. He believes in the project and has created an entire software division so that I can finish it.”
“That’s wonderful.” She hugged him and then quickly pulled back again. “But that doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. You could have told me all of this over the phone.”
Gabe was briefly reminded of how she hadn’t answered his calls during the fire. He would do anything not to feel that kind of dread again.
“The MacDaddy offices are in Red Valley.” He waited for that little nugget of information to sink in and watched the expression change on her face as she digested the news and connected the dots.
“You’re moving to Red Valley?” she asked tentatively, still not quite believing the news.
“Yep. I quit Intelliteck and left Chicago and didn’t look back. We can be together, Julia. I want to come home to you. I want to hold you every day. I want this,” he buried his face in the crook of her neck, “with you.”
She pressed her nose to his collarbone and inhaled the scent that was uniquely his. It was exactly the kind of news she needed to hear right now.
As much as her world had been rattled in the last twenty-four hours, Gabe wasn’t going anywhere.
* * *
Kate didn’t know what to do with all the emotions crashing around inside her body, but she did know one thing for sure. She needed to stock up on groceries if there was going to be four people living in her house. Although Logan didn’t technically live with her, he spent most nights at her house and his appetite rivaled that of an elephant. Before they’d met, she had no idea how many carbs a hockey player depended on for survival.
Her house had two bedrooms, each with their own adjoining bathroom, but space was still at a premium. All four of them under one roof might prove to be chaos, but at least they’d have enough food.
Last night she’d cried an ocean of tears for her sister and for Shamus and Cassidy. Cruising down the aisles at FoodMore sounded like the perfect way to regain some normalcy.
Before grocery shopping, she’d need to stop off for clothes and personal items for Julia. Toothbrush, hairbrush, underwear… The items seemed so insignificant compared to everything her sister had lost in the last few hours. But they were necessary nonetheless.
Logan strode into the kitchen just as Kate was gathering her purse and keys. His hair was wet from the shower and he looked a hundred times more appetizing than anything on a breakfast menu.
Normally they would have shared a morning shower, but with Gabe and her sister in the room down the hall, getting frisky in the bathroom didn’t seem like the appropriate thing to do. Under the current circumstances nothing seemed very appropriate. On the other hand, going a round with Logan might be just the ticket to getting rid of all the shoulder and neck tension she was holding onto. But Kate could hardly think about sex at a time like this, as nice of a distraction as it might be. Even with a Swedish god standing in front of her, damp and available.
Instead of pulling him into the shower stall and having her way with him, Kate told Logan about her shopping plans. When he offered to go with her, she declined. “I’m sure you have better things to do than shop for milk and eggs,” she told him. As much as she’d enjoyed his company during past trips to the store, she needed to feel in control right now and she couldn’t accomplish that when he was so…near.
Logan shrugged and nodded, somehow knowing she needed the time alone to sort through her jumbled feelings from the past day. She’d lost a loved member of her family and had almost lost her sister. Keeping busy was her go-to coping mechanism.
“What does Cassidy look like?”
The question caught Kate off guard and once again she was reminded of what had occurred the night before.
“Oh, damn!” She smacked her forehead with her palm. In all the commotion, she’d completely forgotten. How could she forget about poor little Cassidy? “I need to go over and look for her. She’s probably terrified.”
“I’ll go.”
“Will you? Oh, Logan. Thank you.” That helped explained why Kate liked him so much. He was a good man and his heart was definitely in the right place.
She hugged him, grateful for how supportive he’d been. It was refreshing to have someone to depend on. “Wait, how are you going to get over there?” she asked, pulling back from him. “You shouldn’t be driving.”
“Cody said he’d give me a ride.”
Kate nodded and quickly launched into a detailed description, describing Cassidy’s orange and white coat and how she had two white feet and a little white patch on her chest.
“We’ll drive by and see if we can spot her. Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
“I’m sure.” She smiled at the offer. “I have some errands to run before I go to the grocery store. Thank you though.”
Logan leaned down and pressed a kiss to the worry lines between her eyebrows. “I love you, Kate.” The words came easily and it was past time he said them to her.
She smiled again and this time the tension in her shoulders seemed to relax. “I love you, too.”
* * *
On the way home from the grocery store, Kate found herself turning into the East Oak Apartments. Even though she had a trunk full of perishables, she needed to see the building in the light of day.
The perimeter of the apartment building had been roped off while investigators determined the cause of the fire. She couldn’t rummage around to recover anything yet, but Kate assumed by the look of the building that most of her sister’s belongings were lost in the rubble.
She got out of the car and walked around to the back of the building. It was complete devastation. Everything was black. The ground, the roof, what was left of the crumpling walls... Everything was wet and covered with foam from where the firefighters had put out the fire.
The little window Julia had crawled out of remained a grave reminder of the events that had transpired last night. The aluminum window frame had melted and now sagged from the scorching heat Julia had survived.
Kate covered her mouth with her hand and choked back tears. The thought of her sister blindly navigating through flames, searching for an escape, shook her to the core. Julia’s blindness was a blessing in disguise. If she’d been able to see the flames, she might have panicked and not made it out safely. But Shamus had been there, fearlessly guiding her to safety.
Kate scanned the area for an orange and white fluffball.
Just as she feared, Cassidy was nowhere to be found. If the cat had survived, she could be virtually anywhere. She would need to put up flyers and canvas the area. Later, when she didn’t have milk and eggs in the car.
Kate went back to her car and climbed inside. She had a family waiting for her at home.
* * *
After Kate put the groceries away, she went in to check on Julia. Gabe had gone to the MacDaddy offices for a meeting with Colby and Julia was pretending to be asleep. She looked small and vulnerable and was hugging the spare pillow to her body in the same way she used to hold her teddy bear when she was little.
There were only so many things Kate could protect her sister from. And unfortunately, grief wasn’t one of them.
Kate set the bags of new clothes on the foot of the bed. She’d also bought as many toiletries as she thought Julia would need and made sure to get the brands she already used and was familiar with.
She went back out to retrieve the gift she’d bought, unboxed it and plugged it in.
“I bought you a new keyboard,” she said softly.
Julia turned away and pulled the covers up over her head.
“I’m putting it over here by the dresser on the vanity by the door. It’s a newer model than your old one, so the control buttons might be in a different place. There are clothes and things in the bags on the bed. Just leave the tags on what you don’t like and I’ll return them. I’ll wash the rest for you. I’m doing a load of laundry later today anyway.”
Julia showed no interest and didn’t acknowledge her, so Kate left the room and closed the door behind her.
* * *
A few hours later, when Kate heard music coming from the spare bedroom, she peeked inside and found Julia sitting at the new keyboard.
Kate stood in the doorway and listened. She’d heard her sister play plenty of times in the past, but today the melody was sad and mournful. Kate had never been moved to tears by the music before, and by the looks of the watery streaks running down Julia’s cheeks, she was crying too.
Sensing her sister’s presence, Julia dropped her hands to her lap and let the last notes fade away. “You didn’t buy headphones.”
Kate sighed and stepped further into the room. “You don’t have to hide your music in my house, Ju.”
Blind Ice (Razors Ice Book 5) Page 22