by BJ Harvey
“Has April said something else you’re not telling me?”
“You have a mighty fine woman there, Jamie. Get the house done, then work your ass off to make it up to her. That’s all I’m going to say.”
I hear the bells down the phone, signaling he has a callout.
“Look, I’ve gotta go. But keep me updated on the house, and if we have to, we’ll turn the driving range night into a ‘save Jamie’s sanity’ night instead.”
“There you go with the Jamie again.”
“Bye James,” he says, ending the call, leaving me with a grin on my face.
Now I’m torn.
The house has to come first. I’ll apologize and grovel to April as soon as it’s all done and I have time to make it up to her and Axel.
A week and a half—that’s all there is to go, then we’ve just gotta hope it sells quickly, all while finding the next house to flip.
Should be easy. Maybe…
With one day to spare and with my brothers, Ezra, Matt, and Jase at my side, I screw in the final light bulb in the ornate yet apparently inexpensive light fitting in the center of the living room. A roar of applause breaks out.
I feel the weight of the world ease off my shoulders, knowing that step one of the plan is now completed. The house has been finished before the end of business on day ninety. Well, six p.m. on day eighty-nine is almost as close as I could get to deadline, but fuck does it feel good.
April sent me a text earlier telling me she was working an extra hour to cover for a friend and suggested we change our reservation for another night. As much as I wanted her to be here, I have my own plans for the two of us. Starting with dinner for two at the same Mexican restaurant we had our first date at. I felt it was fitting that we go back to where we started so that I could show her how I plan on continuing.
I’ve made a point to keep in constant contact with her. I’ve tried to hide the strain of the looming deadline from her, not wanting to put any burden on her shoulders that is all mine.
I’ve snuck over and stayed the night a few times in the past eight days, especially since Cohen figuratively punched me in the face with the truth. I’m not an island, and I shouldn’t act like one—not when I have a woman like April and the promise of a future with her.
Half a glass of champagne later, I kick everyone out, promising to update them all as soon as the agent takes possession and we confirm her marketing plan for the house. A quick shower and outfit change later, and I’m standing on April’s front porch.
“Hi,” I say, the moment she opens the door.
“Hey.” She looks amazing, but she sounds tired—maybe a little flat. “You look stunning.”
She’s wearing a white sundress which has short puffy sleeves and a fitted top that falls to just above her knee. It’s sexy but still demure. It’s totally April.
“You look tired,” she probes.
“So do you, but you still look a darn sight better than me.” I step forward and wrap my arm around her waist, brushing my mouth against hers. When I step away, I catch a small smile gracing her lips. That’s a start. ”Besides, nothing could keep me away from you tonight.”
“You’re finished then? The house is done?” She sounds almost hopeful. I’ve really made a bit of a mess of this. I can only wish that she gives me a chance to explain and make it up to everyone.
“Yeah. I just have to meet with the real estate agent tomorrow to hand the keys over, get Jax to take the photos for marketing, and confirm the open home dates.”
“And you’re sure you’re up to this tonight?” We’re still standing in the doorway. Normally, I would’ve been invited in by now. I would’ve said hello to Betty and talked with Axel for a while before we said good night to him and left to go out. Nothing about this seems normal, and it’s only been three days since I was last here.
“April, what’s wrong?”
Her eyes are wary—or maybe more. She shakes her head as if to clear it, calls goodbye over her shoulder, and steps out to join me on the porch, shutting the door behind her.
I reach out to lace my fingers with hers, and thankfully, she lets me. That’s one concession at least, but it doesn’t mean that I’m feeling at ease about our dinner and what may happen. The April I help step up into my truck is not the woman I’ve fallen for. I miss the sass, I miss the spunk, and I’m willing to do anything to get it back. I’m not clueless, but I’ve definitely been an idiot.
That’s all about to change though. Whatever I have to do, whatever it takes, I’m going to earn back the sass, the spunk, the smart mouth, and the fiery side of April—everything about her that I’ve fallen in love within three months. I never thought it would happen like this. I didn’t see it happening for a few more years in fact, but once I saw her, there was never going to be anyone else.
By the end of the night, I’m going to make sure she knows deep in her bones that there will never be anyone else for her either.
21
April
For two weeks, I was patient. I tried to play the patient, caring, understanding partner. Then I started to get angry, and—surprisingly—these past few days, I’ve been waiting for Jamie to just disappear from my life completely.
I’m an open-minded woman. I know how important finishing the house renovations before deadline was to Jamie, and I’d never ask him to choose me over his business. But some consideration would’ve been nice. Axel has even noticed Jamie’s absence and has been asking questions I don’t have answers to.
“When will Jamie help me grill hot dogs again?”
“Will he still be my boss when he builds another house?”
“Will Jamie move away when he’s finished?”
I even spoke with Cohen at the hospital last week, and he assured me that Jamie was naturally an over-worker—something I had noticed myself—but that he also lets his protective provider streak take the wheel sometimes. Now that is news to me. Doesn’t mean I’m going to let him get away with shutting me out for the past few weeks. Cohen told me that I need to talk to Jamie and let him know how I’ve been feeling. Bottling up anything will do nobody any good.
A few days later, Jamie called me to say he wanted to take me to dinner tonight and that he’d made reservations at the same restaurant we went to on our first date.
I tried to postpone, my nerves getting the best of me today, but the fear that tonight may be the end of our relationship won out. That was hours ago. Now, sitting in a leather booth near the back of the restaurant, the server sliding new drinks onto the table and clearing our plates, I know I can’t put off this talk any longer. It’s not fear that’s holding me back though; it’s frustration.
Over dinner, we exchanged small talk. He excitedly told me about completing the house and how good it feels to be finished, and then he went through what has to happen next. I’ve participated and responded when necessary, but my patience at him not bringing up his lack of communication while he finished the house has now run out.
I lift my margarita to my lips, closing my eyes and taking a long sip, letting the liquor give me the boost I need to confront Jamie and effectively, lay all my cards out on the table. When I meet his wary gaze again, I know it’s now or never.
“April?” he says, reaching across the table for my hand. When I move it away, his brows bunch together.
“If you touch me, I’ll lose my nerve.”
His body tenses, his eyes snapping to mine. Not once have I ever shied away from him. Until now. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can make it right.”
I lift my drink to my mouth again and down it, putting my glass back on the table and resting my arms in my lap. If this is ever to work between us, I’m going to have to put myself out there.
“Please talk to me, lovely.” The sound of his name for me from his lips washes over me, and although he doesn’t realize it, that’s the last push I need.
I move around the booth so I’m sitting beside him, I need to be close to him. Sitting acro
ss the table from each other is putting distance between us, which—having had enough distance from him in the past few weeks—I don’t want anymore.
“Something you might have realized about me is that I’m a nurturer. I want to help people. I want those I care about to be the best they can possibly be, and if I can help them get there, then I’ll do anything I can to support them,” I say.
When he reaches for my hand, this time, I don’t stop him. In fact, I meet him halfway. His shoulders sag, and a sigh escapes his lips
“It has been six years since I have taken a chance on a man, and then I—”
He opens his mouth but I shake my head once. His almost imperceptible nod tells me to continue.
“Then I met you, and you sparked something in me. You challenged me. You didn’t sweet talk me or even try and chat me up. You took my sass and kept coming back. I almost believe you got off on our arguing at the start.”
“I still do,” he murmurs, and for the first time tonight, I feel hope. Maybe he does just need to know how shutting me out has made me feel.
“Then you wore me down with your flirting and garden replacing, and when I saw just how good you are with Axel—with no ulterior motive behind it at all—I made the choice to see where this might lead.”
“You sure it wasn’t me cornering you against the side of your house and persuading you to go out with me?”
My lips quirk up on one side. “Maybe,” I concede. It’s the only concession he’s going to get from me though. “I fell for you, and every single day that passes that I spend with you, I fall deeper. This isn’t temporary for me. I have never introduced any man to my son, and I always said that I never would until I knew that it was going somewhere. It was a way to protect Ax but also, myself.”
He brushes his thumb over the back of my hand, encouraging me to go on.
“You’re the first man in my life that Axel has met, and I almost think he was falling for you right alongside me.”
“That feeling is mutual, April. You’ve gotta know just how much you mean to me.”
I close my eyes and let his words wash over me before I reopen them, clear my throat, and let my last wall down, crossing my fingers that I’m not wrong about this. “These past three months, you let me see your soft spot—the one you hide behind that cocky smile and smart-ass bravado—and when you did, I was hooked in such a way that I knew I’d never want to be unhooked ever again.” His entire body goes still, but I power on, knowing I have to or else I’ll never say what both of us need me to. “But for the last few weeks, you’ve hidden it from me. You’ve been acting like you think you’re alone in this. I’ve already told you I’ve been with a man who hid things from me, who didn’t tell me about the ups and downs—”
His eyes flash. “I’m not—”
I squeeze his fingers in mine. “No,” I say, leaving no room for doubt. “You’re nothing like him, but you pulled away from me—from us—and became so tunnel-visioned and focused on the house that every day you’ve lost track of time, or have been too busy or too tired to even see us, or you’ve slid into my bed at midnight only to be gone again by six. It’s put distance between us.”
“I never meant it to.”
“The thing is, Jamie, it’s been giving me flashes of a life I don’t want, and it has scared me. It’s had me doubting what we have for the first time since the moment we got together, and I hate feeling like this.” I see the moment the truth in my words hits home. It’s like a light bulb goes off, his eyes wide and his lips parting, and his hold on my hand tightening.
His head drops down as he slowly closes his eyes and brushes his hair back off his face. When he lifts his gaze to mine again, I swallow a gasp at the change. Almost instantly, he’s let the shutters open.
After lowering his mouth to my hand, he presses his lips to my knuckles, his kiss so soft and reverent I have to blink rapidly to stop the tears falling. This is Jamie—my Jamie—coming back to me as though he’d never left. Thought I’d never admit it to his face, Cohen was right to encourage me to put it all out there. Jamie just needed a figurative slap around so he knew what he’d been doing.
“I never want you to ever feel that you’re second place in my life. You and Axel mean the world to me, just as much as my family. The house is just a house, but I know that I lost myself somewhere in the past few weeks. It kills me to think you started to doubt me—us—because of my dumbass behavior.”
Just like that, the tension I’d been holding in my shoulders leaches out of my body. “I know you’ve been under pressure, and that’s why I haven’t said anything until now. But you have to understand that although I’m always going to be on your side, there’s more than just the two of us in this relationship. I can cope with a lot more than you think, but I don’t like being shut out and you not letting me help when that’s all I want to do.”
“I know. And I’ve been an idiot.” He looks down at our entwined fingers, and I swear I see him blush.
“Can I record this?” I ask, pretending to reach for my phone. He gently squeezes my fingers, and for the first time in ten minutes, I see his lips twitch before his eyes roam over my face.
“My ex of three years broke up with me because she didn’t think I could make something of the business and wasn’t prepared to wait around to see what happened. Then my brothers insisted I let them join me, and that felt better than anything. They believed in me and trusted me to make it work. The thing is, at first, I was doing this for myself, to prove to anyone who ever doubted me that I could make a living out of doing what I always wanted to. But that’s now changed…”
“It has?” I ask, my eyes transfixed to his.
“Yeah,” he says. “Because now I’m doing this for me, but I’m also doing it for you, and Axel, and our future ten kids.”
I let the tears fall. How could I have doubted I was in love with this man? “And I would never not support you in doing what you’ve gotta do and working toward your dream. Just like I know you’d always support me in following my own destiny. I want to build a future with you, one that includes you being present and involved. I want you to be free to give us every part of you during the good, the bad, and the hard times. Dreams should be shared with the people in your life who mean the most to you, but you’ve also got to be willing for them to help you get there. I want to know I did everything I could to help you get to where you want to be just like I know you’ll always do the same for me.”
He sits there staring at me like I’ve just dropped a reality he never even contemplated. “I want you to be a part of my dream, April because you and Axel are the missing piece of my puzzle. I just thought…” He looks down at our joined hands. I let him go and lift my arm to cup his jaw, waiting for his eyes to meet mine.
“You just thought what?” I whisper.
“I thought I had to reach my goal before I could let myself have everything I’ve ever truly wanted.”
“And what was that?” I ask.
There is no mistaking the intensity in his stare and the absolute certainty in his tone when he rocks my world with one single word.
“You.”
22
Jamie
I don’t think I’ve ever paid a bill and left a restaurant any quicker than I did tonight.
I don’t want to be in a room full of strangers. I want to be in a room alone with April, with nothing between us, where I can dedicate the rest of the evening to worshipping her until she can take no more.
That’s not the only reason we rush back to her house after only an hour. It’s because I want to see Axel. I want to apologize to him and help tuck him in before he goes to sleep. We also want to let him know that I’m going to be staying overnight.
Knowing I’m the only man in April’s life who has spent time with Axel makes me more determined than ever to prove to both of them—and Betty too—that I’m not going anywhere. As long as they’ll have me, I’m going to be in their lives. I want a true fifty/fifty partnership
with April. I want her to be able to lean on me as much as I know I can—and now know I should—lean on her. It’s like she schooled me on how a true adult relationship should be, and I don’t want to give her any reason to doubt my feelings and commitment to her ever again.
I pull the car to a stop in her driveway. April goes to hop out of the truck, but I put my hand on her thigh to stop her.
She scrunches her forehead adorably—she’d probably have my balls if I told her that—and turns to face me. “What’s wrong?”
I lean forward, closing the distance between us and lifting my hand to slide my fingers through her hair and cup the back of her head. “I got one more thing I need to say before we go inside.”
“Okay…”
I let my gaze roam over her face, watching her teeth sink into her bottom lip. By the time I reach her eyes, my heart is thumping against my chest. I never expected to be in this place in my life with a woman who thrills me, supports me, and never fails to challenge me. The woman who I truly believe was made for me in every single way and who thankfully just happens to live next door to the house that is the start of a dream that I know deep in my soul she represents the end of.
“Jamie?” she asks, her frown deepening.
“I was half gone the minute you walked through my door.” I shake my head, my mouth curving up into a smile. “But the first time I kissed you, I knew I was done for. You’re it for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, at your back, and in your bed.” I swallow hard before I say the words. “I love you, lovely, and I never want to stop.”
Her mouth drops open before curving up in her sexy smile. “I love you too, James,” she says, her grin beaming at my growl. Then she can’t do anything but moan once I tug her head toward mine and lay a long, wet, very deep kiss on her lips that has her melting against me.