by Jen Wylie
Normally, such a statement would have angered her. She’d learned her lesson. "I appreciate that, thank you again."
He stared down at his hands for a moment before looking back over at her with a small, forced smile. "Have you decided what you will do after?"
"No, actually. Not at all," she admitted ruefully. "I’ve just been so focused on actually getting him home alive."
He paused before speaking again. "You are always welcome with us. If you would like to return," he continued quickly. He flashed her smile, his scars twisting along his face. "You do have to return my horse."
His words, and their apparent meaning, left her flustered for a moment. "Yes, I do," she finally managed. "Whatever we decide, we’ll return to the forest first."
"I would like that."
Be careful, Garen cautioned. You have impressed him, with your healing and standing up against the Dragos. You would be an asset to any pack.
Heat began a slow rise from her neck to her cheeks. Kei, help me here.
Kei leaned forward so he could talk around her. "Aro can let you know, whatever is decided."
Rhee-En nodded and stood, smiling at her once more. "We have a feast planned for tonight, perhaps some dancing. We will not keep you up too late though." His smile faded as he caught sight of something behind her.
She turned and saw Prince coming out of the trees. Smiling in relief, it faded when he didn’t acknowledge them, but instead disappeared into the building they slept in. Apparently, he’d gone back to ignoring her. Again.
* * *
Rhee-En and his Were put on a fun and lively evening event for them. Pushing Prince from her mind, she enjoyed it immensely. She kept telling herself she had to get used to him not being around. There was no lack of friendship or partners for dancing. Kei, Bo, and Garen remained close to her side. Though Rhee-En paid her much attention, she was able to divert any conversation she worried would go down paths she didn’t want to visit.
They all rose early the next morning and packed up the horses. The Were circled them, assisting now and then and waved as they departed with the slowly rising sun.
Aro found they’d all been given a cloak and even Kei wore his in the chill early morning air. Fall had descended quickly, though whether it was early or late she couldn’t tell.
As they left she walked with Kei and Garen while Bo and Prince took the horses. She watched Prince’s stiff back as he rode off into the trees, her heart clenching in her chest. She only had two more days with him and he ignored her. The urge to shake some sense into him just kept growing. Either that or break into tears. She much preferred the first idea.
"We’ve far to go today," Kei said, bumping her shoulder with his. "Can you keep up?"
"Of course," she sputtered, glaring at him.
He laughed and took off after the horses. With a grin, she sprinted after him.
She’d worried her near death and sickness would have sapped her strength. Thankfully she discovered her body was only a little weaker than before. Perhaps it had been the healing magic, or even the full meals and soft bed. Whatever the reason, she managed to keep pace with Kei and the horses.
Garen roamed around them and many times she caught sight of other Were through the trees. Rhee-En had kept his promise to watch out for them and she found herself starting to like the scarred alpha Were.
When they finally stopped for lunch she plopped down on a log with a groan. Taking slow, even breaths, she slowly calmed her heart rate. While Bo readied their food, Kei and Prince took care of the horses. Her muscles began to protest and she stood, pacing slowly and doing some of the stretches Cassia had shown her.
"Be careful you do not tire yourself."
Rising from a stretch, she placed her hands on her hips and stared at Prince. "You’re talking to me now?"
"You are angry."
"Angry? Yes. Confused. Yes. Hurt. Yes."
With each word he jerked as if she slapped him. "Arowyn, I…" He shook his head, lowering his eyes.
"Of course, don’t answer," she snapped bitterly. Hands clenching in frustration and anger, she struggled to keep from screaming at him. "Look away. Walk away next. Just keep walking and don’t look back."
His head shot up, his lips in a thin, angry line. "Is that what you want?"
She stared at him incredulously. "Of course not," she yelled, not caring that Bo and Kei were trying very hard not to notice their exchange. "I want you to look at me, to see me! I want you next to me, by my side for the time we have left!"
"But then I will be gone," he said softly.
"And?" Shaking her head, she let out a weary sigh. "I almost died. If I learned one thing, it’s to live while I’m alive, to cherish the ones I love and let them know I love them."
She knew immediately she’d said the wrong thing. The cold, stony mask slipped over his face as he frowned. "We have discussed this."
Pressing her lips tightly together, she managed to hide their sudden quivering. Remarkably, her eyes remained free of tears. Perhaps because despite the shattering of her heart once again, her anger remained stronger.
"We have," she finally said. "But I know you love me, even if it isn’t the type of love I have for you. How can you deny that? What about our friendship? Everything we’ve been through together this past year? Doesn’t all of that mean anything to you?"
"I do not…know what I feel."
His words shocked her. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what he meant. "Come morning, you’ll be home. I hope you can figure it out by then."
"As do I."
Before she could continue the conversation, he turned and walked away.
She wanted very much to hit something.
Chapter 35:
The Last Night
As the afternoon went on, Aro found herself straining to keep up. Pride kept her from asking Bo or Prince for a ride. Her anger at Prince helped to fight her growing fatigue. She didn’t understand him, or what he felt or thought. She didn’t understand why he acted like he did.
Garen slipped from the trees to her right to pace her and Kei. The wardwall is just ahead. Watch your nose, he said with a mental laugh.
Kei slowed, but curiosity got the better of her and she kept going…and slammed into an invisible wall.
Garen laughed again as she rubbed her forehead.
"Not funny," she grumbled. Raising her hands, she pushed them out until they hit the wardwall. Pushing as hard as she could did nothing.
"Nothing goes in or out," Prince said quietly behind her.
Turning, she saw he and Bo had ridden up behind them. "I can’t see it."
"It isn’t hard," Kei said before Prince could reply. "I’ll teach you."
Patting the wall once, she smiled at Kei. "We should find a spot to camp then."
She didn’t look at Prince. She didn’t want to start another fight with him. To her, ignoring won over fighting. She headed east along the wall with Garen and Kei spreading out, searching for a suitable site.
Unable to help herself, she did glance back once and then stopped under the shadows of the trees.
Prince had dismounted and stood next to the wall, hands and forehead resting against it. Eyes closed, the quiet longing on his face made her breath catch.
Turning quickly on her heel, she ran. Find a site. Sleep. Travel to the gates of Rivenward. The sooner she could make these happen, the quicker Prince would be home again. The sooner he’d be happy again.
* * *
They hadn’t found any water, but the site they eventually chose contained a thick grove so shadowed she hoped they’d be able to sleep even during the day. After eating some packed food quickly, she found a promising spot and spread out a small blanket. Curling up on it, she tucked her cloak around her as a blanket and waited for Kei.
It didn’t take long for him to return from checking the horses once more. Kei dropped down beside her, though he didn’t cuddle into his cloak like she did.
"It’s co
ld today. Why do only my eyes change? Why can’t something useful happen like I can stay warm like you?"
He grinned over at her. "You should stop asking for such things. They might happen."
"You’re right," she admitted. If she actually did grow pointy ears and claws she didn’t know how she’d react.
"Go to sleep, we’ll be travelling through the night."
"I know! I’m not tired though." She sniffled and rubbed her chilly nose. Wiggling more into her cloak, she closed her eyes and tried to think sleepy thoughts.
Instead she just listened to the birds, the horses and odd sound the other boys made as they tried to sleep.
Prince is coming.
Cracking an eye open, she saw Kei trying not to smile. I don’t know if I want to talk to him or not.
Would you regret it if you didn’t?
True. With a sigh she rolled over to face the sound of the approaching footsteps. As he neared she pushed herself up with one arm.
Stopping beside her, he dropped down into a crouch. The darkness of the shadows hid most of him from her, but she saw he had the hood of his cloak up against the chill as well. She worried then, over how much the last few days had taken out of him. At least he’d be home soon, and then he could get better. He’d have his family and friends and magic back.
A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed, staring up into his face and trying to see what mood he was in. Her sight suddenly blurred and refocused. She jerked back in surprise.
"Wither me!"
He leaned away slightly in surprise at her outburst. "What is it?"
She blinked rapidly. "I can see you. In the dark. I can…wither me!" She swiveled around to face Kei. "These eyes actually work!"
Kei had sat up at her apparent distress, with a laugh, he flopped back down. "I told you to stop asking."
She grinned. "You did."
"Arowyn."
Her smile faded at Prince’s solemn tone. Slowly, she turned back to face him.
Staring down at the ground, he refused to meet her eyes. "I have thought, on what you said. I am sorry for my actions the last few days."
She didn’t know what to say. The standard "it’s fine" just wouldn’t leave her lips…because it wasn’t.
When she didn’t answer, he looked up at her, his expression determined. "May I have the honor of sleeping next to you tonight? Like we used to?"
Her mouth opened and closed in surprise, but words refused to form for fear she’d say something wrong again and he’d leave. Lowering her eyes, she nodded slowly.
Kei shifted next to her and she turned her head in surprise as he got up. "Where are you going?"
He squeezed her shoulder. "You need some time."
Leaving her with those cryptic words, she stared after him for a moment before turning back to Prince. He continued to watch her, and she felt heat rising to her cheeks. "Well, come on then. We’re supposed to be getting some sleep."
Wordlessly, he settled down beside her. She hesitated, uncertain how close he wanted to be. Seeing her confusion, he reached out and grasped her arms, pulling her to him.
She stiffened as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. A hand reached up, gently guiding her head to his shoulder.
A slow breath shuddered out of her. They’d never slept like this, her curled up against him. So close. Nervous butterflies tickled through her stomach.
She had no idea how she was possibly going to sleep. "Did you want to talk?"
"I just want to hold you," he whispered against her hair.
She closed her eyes tightly, took one last deep breath, and then melted against him. Shifting slightly so she was closer, she tentatively slipped her hand into the folds of his cloak and rested it on his chest. His hand rose to cover hers, while his other arm squeezed her against him.
She had the sudden urge to mention it wasn’t night, but such a thing would surely ruin the moment. A small smile tugged at her lips and she wiggled closer to him, sucking in his warmth.
"Thank you," she murmured.
"My pleasure."
She tilted her head up, trying to see his face. Had his tone just been teasing? From the curve of his lips, yes it had.
Smiling again, she found the comfy nook between his arm and chest. Being in his arms, everything seemed perfect.
The hand at her waist slowly moved, gently gliding from waist to hip and back. His thumb traced lazy circles across the back of her hand for a while and then slipped along her arm. She held her breath, not believing he was touching her like this.
Fingers slid over her shoulder, along her neck and up to cup her jaw. Tilting her head up, she tried to see his face. He shifted slightly onto his side, his head dipping to press his cheek against the top of her head. Every movement occurred slowly, gently. Perhaps he didn’t want to frighten her, or tried to give her ample opportunity to ask him to stop.
Stopping was the last thing she wanted him to do. Her lips parted, her mind wanting to ask him what he was doing, but her heart quite firmly said to stay quiet. His thumb moving softly back and forth along her jaw distracted her terribly. His fingers curled, the backs of them running down her neck and under her chin, turning to rise and trail across her lips so very softly she wondered if she imagined it.
Cautiously, she moved the hand on his chest higher. When he didn’t try to stop her, she continued until she felt the soft skin of his neck. Her fingers swept up his neck, along his jaw, and strayed by his ear. They wandered; learning, exploring, and touching him as softly as a feather.
Heart thumping rapidly in her chest, she struggled to keep her breathing light and even. His warmth enveloped her, not that she even needed it now. His simple touch lit a fire inside her, demanding more, begging for more.
"Sleep well," he whispered.
She blinked in surprise. A resigned sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on feeling the continuing gentle caresses of his hands on her face and side.
Despite wanting to enjoy every moment of it, the sound of his heartbeat sent her into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.
Chapter 36:
Bittersweet Goodbyes
The rumble of a chuckle under her head woke her.
"You need to get up, Aro," Prince whispered, jiggling the arm beneath her.
"Mmm, I don’t want to." She snuggled closer against him, smiling. He hadn’t left. His arms remained around her. It hadn’t all been a dream.
"Up, up!"
The reality of why they were getting up hit her hard. The last leg of their journey. "I’m awake," she grumbled, suddenly not in as good of a mood.
As they gathered their few belongings they’d unpacked and prepared the horses Kei drew her aside.
"So? How did it go?"
Ducking her head to hide a sudden blush, she shrugged.
"Did he tell you?"
She really didn’t want to have this conversation. "No. He didn’t even kiss me." Kei waited expectantly. "He just held me all night. That’s it."
The Fey snorted in annoyance.
She raised her eyebrows. "You wanted him to kiss me?"
"I remember what you said, that he wasn’t to do it again unless he loved you. So, yes. I was hoping he would."
"Well, I doubt he ever will," she said crossly. "He likely doesn’t want you to punch him in the face again."
Kei’s laugh wasn’t loud, but it had a decidedly wicked tone to it. Narrowing her eyes, she scowled at him. "You’re too protective," she complained.
Prince appeared by her side. "There is nothing wrong with that."
Of course he would think so, but then he hadn’t heard the whole conversation.
"Ride with me."
She looked up at him in surprise. "I…yes."
He grinned, the boyish look crossing his face startling her. Who was this Prince?
Kei laughed in delight and ran off before she could hit him.
She rode in front of Prince as usual. The wind pick
ed up and clouds rolled by, often blocking out the little light of the stars and moon. In such darkness, this slowed them as they let the horses pick their way along at their own pace.
It didn’t take long for them to leave the forest. Once again in human lands, she didn’t have to try to see the wardwall. Pastureland ended abruptly and forest began, a clean line running ahead of them.
The rolling walk of their mount and Prince’s warm body behind her made her drowsy. More than once, she found herself starting awake.
"You can sleep. I would never let you fall."
Holding the reins around her, his arms brushed against hers and kept her safe. "I know, but I don’t want to sleep. I want to be with you. Talk to you."
"Then we will talk," he answered.
They did, about nothing at all. It was wonderful, perfect. Time passed too quickly, and before she knew it the stars faded and the sun began to rise behind them.
They smiled and laughed and…little parts of her broke inside. With every word, every step, he was leaving her.
Yet he had given her this, for whatever reason. She would not spoil it. One day it would be a memory she treasured.
They crested the top of what turned out to be the last of a long series of rolling hills. The rising sun had cleared the clouds away and sunlight lit the lowlands before them. In the distance she saw a small stream crossing to the forest, beyond that, the faint brown mark of a road. Focusing hard, she thought she could see the glitter of the sunlit sea on the horizon.
Taking the reins in one hand, Prince leaned forward, tucking his chin over her shoulder, his face next to hers. He pointed ahead. "Look, Aro. Can you see it?"
Her eyes slipped along the tree-line and then stopped, locking onto two towering structures amidst the forest border in the distance. "What is that?"
"The Guardians of the Gate."
"Statues?"
"Yes, of our first king and queen. The gate is between them. They are impressive, yes?"
She nodded quickly, even though she couldn’t make out more than their size. "They’re certainly big."