by Zuko, Joseph
Still, no one laughed.
Tough crowd. He frowned. Before Leon could help it, a new fantasy kicked into high gear and whisked him away.
Leon lies upon a blanket. A cornucopia of wonderful food spills from a picnic basket at his side. He is perched at the edge of a cliff and surrounded by green rolling hills. Below, the gray ocean splashes against the bluff. The sun beats down on him, yet he sports a magnificent wool sweater. A thick and manly beard covers most of his handsome face. In his hand he holds a large glass of Irish whiskey.
The view is amazing, but his eye is pulled in a different direction. At his side lies a beautiful Irish princess. Her mane of flowing locks flutters on the ocean breeze. Ample breasts pour from the top of the dress. She is the epitome of ravishing. She tucks a few curls behind her ear and reveals herself.
It is Shawna.
Her pouty red lips open as she prepares to speak. “It is true. I am a virgin Irish Princess, but I can tell you are the chosen one. You possess the power to make love better than any man on this island. Better than any man in all of Europe. Please, I beg you, Sir Leon, take me. Take me all the way to the Pleasure Palace.” She falls to her back and unbuttons the top of her dress. “You are the only one. It is your destiny to take us both to the Pleasure Palace. Where you will reign as king, forever.”
His brow drops as he takes a swig of whiskey. “Pleasure Palace?” He repeats to himself.
Even though it is his fantasy, he couldn’t help but feel confused by her phrasing.
I’ve got to stop watching so much porn and start reading.
This is embarrassing.
He convinces himself to forget about it and continues with the daydream. He sets his glass aside and rolls onto her.
He deepens his voice and says, “Here comes the king.”
He leans in. His lips on a collision course with hers, but before he lands the epic kiss, Leon is blasted with smoke. He coughs and chokes. Eyes burn. He can’t see. Finally, the fog clears. His virgin princess, Shawna, is replaced by an old woman. Her sad face covered with sloppy makeup.
He coughs, “Goddamn it! Get out of here, Desiree. I want Shawna back, right now!”
She hacks and spits a wad of phlegm from the corner of her wrinkled mouth and acts like she doesn’t hear him. “I cleared my dick sucker for ya, it’s good to go.”
“That’s disgusting.” Leon pulls away, but she locks her arms around his chest. He grunts, “I had a good thing going here and you ruined it. Please leave.”
Desiree wiggles her bushy eyebrows. “Hey sailor, you gonna bust this saggy old cherry or what? There’s a line of dudes waiting for their turn.” She motions to the left.
Leon checks. He is repulsed when he finds a row of unattractive, naked men. They skirt the edge of the cliff. Hundreds of them, all grabbing at their junk, priming the pump, stroking their willies, waiting to stab the princess with their meat knives.
Leon shakes his head, tries to reset the daydream. “What? Listen here, brain. This is the wrong kind of gangbang. It should be a line of Shawna’s. Look, I’m in control and I say this stops, now!”
Desiree lights another cigarette and blows the smoke in his face. “Are we banging or not? If yes, here’s a tip, steer clear of my southern pucker, I had some bad cabbage last night and it’s… it’s got me sittin’ on a keg of dynamite.” She runs her thick tongue around her thin lips. “Here we go.” She grabs him by the neck, sticks out her tongue and tries to slide it into his mouth. He fights and strains, not wanting to give in to her sick desires.
She yells, “Hey, where are you going?”
Leon snapped from his daydream when Desiree asked him again.
“I said, where are you going?” She tapped his shoulder and pointed at the road. “Make a right.”
He cursed his defective brain. Hoped the next time he would be prepared to take Shawna all the way to the, ‘Pleasure Palace’.
Whatever that means. The thought to himself was followed by a spike of pride.
At least I’ve moved past Jim falling ass first onto a spear.
That’s good.
He swerved the bus, missed a set of crashed cars that occupied most of the intersection and made the turn.
Desiree puffed on her cigarette and tugged at her soaking wet blouse. “I can’t wait to get out of this wet fucking thing.”
“Bad word.” Chirped Valerie.
Desiree turned to the others. Her face still painted like a sad clown. “Oops, sorry kiddos. I’m not used to having little ones around. Ever since the state took away the youngsters, it’s been me and Dad at the house and that old sack of farts can’t hear shit. Oops! I mean, crap. Sorry, I did it again. I’ll try and class up my act for the rest of the ride. Hey, kiddos don’t be like Desiree when you get older. No one likes a foul-mouthed bag of wind.” To be funny, she made a face like a maniac.
The girls were too disturbed to laugh, but offered the woman an awkward smile.
When she resumed her forward facing position Jim leaned and whispered in Karen’s ear. “We’ve got another nut on the funny farm.”
Karen’s eyes remained shut, too tired to respond, she could only offer a smile and a, “Hmm.”
Jim caught her subtle tone. After thirteen plus years of marriage, he understood every grunt, groan and mumbled phrase. She was close to asleep. Any moment now his bride was going to hum a soft snore. Jim was always envious of Karen’s ability to pass out during a car ride.
He shut his eyes. Prayed for sleep, but knew it would never come. He was exhausted and physically broken. Every inch of him ached as if someone had shoved his body into a garbage disposal. Then shot him across the room, where he landed on a spike covered wall.
He shifted and hoped to find a better sitting position, but every muscle screamed for mercy. The stitches on his leg, forehead and shoulder stretched. The wounds sizzled and burned in agony. He settled his body. Jim discovered if kept perfectly still, the pain would drop to an almost bearable level. He tried again to let himself slip into the void.
If I squeeze a nap in, I’ll feel a million times better. It was a vicious lie. He needed days, maybe weeks of rest to get back to zero, but that wasn’t possible, not for another hour or two. Once he was at his parent’s place, then maybe, he’d get the sleep he so desperately craved.
He tried counting sheep, but once he hit ten, the animals morphed into zombies.
Eleven. He finished the beast with a stab of his homemade spear.
Twelve. Jim sliced off its head.
Thirteen. Plucked out its eye with a knife.
Fourteen. Blasted it with a rifle.
This wasn’t helping. It only raised his heart rate.
He switched around his brainwaves and attempted to focus on nothingness. A pure black landscape. No details. Empty, in all directions.
But, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fall asleep. A movie screen appeared in the darkness. A projector rolled stock footage. Quick edits pieced together the worst parts of his day.
The pain.
The blood.
Fear.
Loss after loss.
Soul-clutching terror.
It ended with Dallas’s knife pinning him to the floor.
Then it looped.
Again he watched. It was his very own, disgustingly graphic, snuff film.
After the fifteenth viewing he paused the video and opened his eyes. A set of little faces stared in his direction. Like rays of sunshine, their expressions filled him with a warmth he desperately needed. These two were the main reasons he kept filling his lungs with air.
“Are you sleeping, Daddy?” asked Valerie.
“I wish.”
This confused her. “If you’re sleepy, Daddy, sleep. Like this.” Valerie closed her eyes, laid her head on the backrest and pretended to pass out. Robin thought this looked fun and joined her sister. They made tiny sleeping noises as if they were in a cartoon.
Her head popped from the seat. “See, you ju
st sleep. It’s easy.”
“Easies.” Robin nodded her red head in agreement.
“That’s good advice, sweetheart. I’ll try it your way next time. Look, Mama has mastered the technique. She’s like a sleepy dragon. Don’t disturb her.”
Karen kept her lids shut as she muttered in a manly voice, “You guys talking about me?”
They understood the game and played it on more than a few Sunday mornings. It was time to mess with Mama. They ducked below the backrest, climbed under the seat and appeared in front of Jim and Karen’s knees. Their little fingers reached for Karen’s legs and gave them a gentle tickle.
“Wake up Dragon.” They giggled.
Karen stirred. The slumbering beast had awakened.
“Oh no, you woke the dragon. Hide kids, before she gets you.” Even though the pain was intense Jim played his part and extended his good arm to shield the children from the beast. “She’s not messing around this time, run.”
Karen’s lids popped open and she leaned toward the girls. Hands extended. Fingers twitching. “I’ll get you my pretties.” She easily pushed passed Jim’s defenses and took hold of their arms. They squealed and giggled. Karen gently tugged them into her lap and kissed each of them on their faces and necks. “I’ve got you now.” She blessed them with a few more, glanced at Jim and noticed his jealous expression.
“Daddy needs some sugar too. Can you help give him a few, very soft kisses?” Karen propped Valerie on her thigh and held her weight as the child leaned in to smooch Jim.
He offered the one spot on his face that wasn’t too sore or covered with a bandage.
Smack.
It was Robin’s turn, but she didn’t fully understand how sore Daddy’s body was and grabbed him by the neck and violently pulled him into her kiss.
Smack!
“Sweetie, that was too much.” Karen pulled her away. “Are you okay?”
Jim groaned, righted himself, kept a brave face and grunted. “I’m good. Thanks baby for the sugar. I feel better.” Jim’s body was in agony, but his soul was in heaven.
“Hey, why don’t we open another toy, what do you say?” Karen reached for the bag of stolen toys.
“Yeah!” They chimed in unison.
Karen located two race cars and yanked them from the bag. “Here we go.”
“Whoa.”
“Cool.”
Karen popped the cardboard backing from the plastic case and handed one to each girl.
“Climb back through to your seats and race these around, okay.”
“Thank you, Mama.” And with that, they disappeared.
Karen whispered, “With everything they have seen. All the horribly violent…” She stopped herself from expanding on the details. She reached for Jim’s hand and continued. “They are still so sweet. It’s our job to keep them this innocent, for as long as we can. Whatever it takes. We must shield them from this… This new world. Okay?”
The reality of her proposal hit Jim hard.
She is right.
It isn’t enough to keep them alive. Seeing too much violence and losing too many loved ones could destroy them.
They’ll turn into total psychopaths by the time they’re teens if we aren’t careful.
He softly squeezed Karen’s hand and said, “Whatever it takes, baby. I promise.” Jim nodded at her. Unsure how he would keep his word, but determined, nonetheless.
She patted his hand, released it and resumed her previous position.
Jim followed her example. Eyes closed. He tiptoed toward the edge of nothingness. Hoped to keep the terrifying images from manifesting, but he had no such luck. The snuff film relentlessly played its hellish loop.
I’m gonna need a lot of booze to knock myself out tonight.
Shawna sat with her back against the steel wall of the bus. She tucked her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her shins and rested her feet on her seat. She managed to clean all the gunk from her face and appeared close to normal, except for her thousand-mile stare.
Desiree noticed the catatonic woman in the neighboring seat. She reached with a bony hand and patted Shawna on the toes of her boots. “Couple more turns and we’ll be there.”
Shawna didn’t move a muscle.
Desiree continued, “If you folks wanna spend a minute cleaning yourself up with a hot shower, feel free.” She took a long pull off her cigarette. “It’s a glamorous job.” Desiree offered Shawna her pack of smokes. “You look like you could use something to unscramble that brain.”
Shawna moved slowly, as if the half empty pack of smokes was a trap. She released her legs and slipped her fingers into the pack. She slid her feet off the seat and scooted closer to Desiree, who had the lighter lit and ready.
“I haven’t had one of these since I was a teen.” Shawna grunted.
“No time like the present to start a dirty habit, right?” Desiree touched the flame to the tip of the cigarette.
Shawna inhaled, then let out a rough cough.
“Easy, you have to work up to inhaling.”
Shawna regained control of her lungs and tried again. She slowly let the smoke pour from her lips.
“There you go.” Desiree gave her a wink. “No reason to be healthy now, right.” She leaned in, glanced at the kiddos and whispered. “I’d say our fuckin’ life expectancy has dropped drastically. I’ll probably stop taking my heart pills. I mean what’s the point of staying medicated, am I fuckin’ right?”
“Medication?” said Shawna as she took another drag. A light kicked on.
I need to show them I’m trustworthy.
That I’m part of the team.
So they lower their guard.
She faced Jim and Karen, “We need go to a pharmacy.”
Jim raised an eyebrow at her.
The smoke hit her in the face and caused Shawna to squint. “After we stop at…” It took her a beat to remember the name. “…Desiree’s house. We need supplies to keep your cuts clean. Especially the stab wound to your shoulder.”
Karen nodded at the red duffle bag they had taken from the police station the day before. “We have supplies.”
Shawna fired back right away. “You have enough for a few days, but that wound will take weeks, possibly months to fully heal. He’ll need medication to fend off any infections. I know which are the correct pain meds to take with the antibiotics. You don’t want to overdose.” Her intense glare bore a hole through Jim. “Or die from something that was easily avoidable, do you?”
Jim faced his wife. “I’ve got three sets of stitches holding me together. It’s probably not a bad idea. There’s a pharmacy downtown, right on Main street. I don’t want to sound like a big baby here, but I need something stronger than Tylenol. My shoulder is absolutely killing me. What do you guys think?” He glanced around, first Troy, then Sara.
Everyone was exhausted, sick of fighting, tired of running and the last thing they wanted to do was make another stop. After what happened to them at the country store, Jim understood why.
“Guys, I get it. I want to go home and sleep, but I don’t want to croak because of some papercuts.”
“Of course.” Karen said as she sat forward, gave her spine a stretch and pointed at her busted face. “I could use something stronger than a box of wine, myself.”
“Whatever it takes to get you a hundred percent buddy, I’m with ya.” Troy dug through a bag of food, found what he was after and cinched it shut.
“Take this left.” Desiree finished her cigarette and stubbed it out on the floor. “We’re almost there.”
Sara thumbed a round into a magazine. Lost in thought. Only going through the motions. A paper plate full of junk appeared beside her. “You need to eat,” said Troy.
“I’m fine.” Sara plucked another round from the open box.
“I know.” Troy offered her the bag of baby wipes. “Clean the lead off first. That stuff is poisonous.”
“I said, I’m fine.” Her focus shifted to the window.
“I know.” He gently forced himself into the seat next to her. “Scooch, girl. I’ve got broad shoulders.”
She sighed, put away the ammo and slid against the wall. Not willing to face him, she reached for the wipes and freed a few wet squares. She attacked the grime on her fingers with a vengeance.
“I wasn’t sure what you like, so I grabbed a little of everything.” He passed her the plate.
Begrudgingly she took the dish. The meal consisted of jerky, chips, peanut M&M’s and Oreos.
Troy settled in and draped his arm across the backrest, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been this far north. Sure is pretty.”
Sara picked a large chunk of jerky from the pile and nibbled at it.
“I hated to leave my…” Troy cleared his throat. “…Mama’s house, but this was a good move. I think we stand a chance out here.”
Sara scarfed a few chips and noticed Troy’s trembling hand.
“I don’t know about you, but I could use twelve hours of beauty sleep.” He spotted her staring at his shaking fist, tucked it under his leg and said, “Sorry about that. It seems to have a mind of its own. I’m guessing the blow to my noggin might have knocked something loose.” He smiled when her eyes met his. “We’ll worry about it later. Go on and eat.”
His grin melted her. It was difficult to stay angry when such a warm and loving person was this close to her. She swallowed her food. She had just opened her mouth to apologize for being a turd, when Desiree shouted.
“We’re here. You guys are welcome to hang for a bit. You know, make sure the place is safe for crazy old Desiree,” she added as she gathered her things.
Karen said, “Of course. We’re not going to toss you from the bus and yell ‘good luck’.”
“I appreciate that. It shouldn’t take long. You guys will be back on the road in a-”
Leon rounded the last bend in the road.
Desiree caught a glimpse of her street and blurted, “-son-of-a-bitch!”