by Nancy Adams
“Stop,” Marie said, sounding like her usual bossy self. “That’s all nonsense and you know it. Your father was a user. He used your mom. Took advantage of her love for him. And your mom, I’m sorry to say, Sarah, but she just let him. You’re not your mom and Jay’s nothing like your father. All you have to do is look at his relationship with Kitty to figure that out.”
“But—”
“No buts. I hate to sound like a Hallmark romance movie, but you have to follow your heart, Sarah, no matter how crazy it sounds. Love’s a risk. I mean, look at me. I’m living in deep Texas in a hippie resort. And happily! Could you ever have imagined something like that for me? Seriously? Uptight, pragmatic, conservative me?”
I laughed at her description of herself. “Not in a million years…”
“But yet, I’m happy. I took a risk and love led me to this moment, to this life, and I wouldn’t change anything. This isn’t the life I imagined for myself. I had my share of doubts, and honestly sometimes I still do, but then I hear the annoying drum circle and Ezra shows up with another piece of homemade baby furniture, smiling from ear to ear, and I remember how lucky I am. How blessed I am to have taken a risk and found love. So yeah, love isn’t a safe bet. You don’t get a safety net. You just volunteer to walk the tight rope and pray that you don’t fall.”
“Wow, that sounds even scarier.”
“Oh yeah, it is. But when your risk pays off, there’s no better feeling than to know what it feels like to be completely and unconditionally loved.”
I gulped and said, “You’re right. I’m done being afraid.”
“That’s my girl!”
“I’m going to call him.”
“Excellent idea.”
“Wish me luck.”
She laughed. “You don’t need it.”
I hung up, hoping she was right, and called Jay’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hi, stranger,” he said softly into the phone.
I smiled and said shakily, “Can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure. Your place or mine?”
I hesitated. “Mine?”
“Give me a half hour, ok? Aanya and Kitty are currently kicking my butt at Candyland, and I need to redeem myself.”
I smiled again. “Unemployment suits you, I see.”
“I’m not unemployed. I’m the best secretary your business has ever seen.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“You’re hurting my ego. I feel like all you women are out to get me tonight—”
“Dad, are you going to play or talk?” I heard Kitty say demandingly.
Jay laughed and said, “See you soon,” and then hung up.
I jumped up and changed into a dress and brushed my hair until it was somewhat tame. I then nervously paced the floor.
I started practicing what I would say to him.
“Jay…I love you too. No, no…I can’t say that first. That’s too obvious.” I continued talking to myself. “Jay, I don’t know how you did it, but you win. I love you.”
I slapped my palm across my forehead. “That was so stupid. It isn’t a competition.”
And then before I knew it, someone was knocking at my door. I knew who that someone was. It was the person who would now start playing a major role in my life and suddenly I was completely okay with it.
I opened the door and smiled at him. “Hi, Jay.”
He smiled back and reached for me, bringing me into his arms and placing a warm kiss against my lips.
He then said, “Can I come in?”
“Please,” I stammered, stepping away to give him room. He walked past me, leaving the scent of his cologne in the air. He looked like he had just showered, and his hair seemed to be a bit wet.
He sat down on the couch and tossed one arm on the back of it. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked, draping one leg across his knee.
“The other day—”
“When I said that I loved you,” he finished my sentence for me and patted the space on the couch next to him. “Come sit down.”
He looked around. “So I guess your mother left?”
I nodded, still trying to find the courage to say the words.
He reached for my hand and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. He lowered it down to my lap and then wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
“I’ve missed you,” he said as he slowly lowered his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him closer as I kissed him deeply, trying to demonstrate with my kiss the way I felt in my heart.
I loved him. And as I pulled away and we both attempted to gather our breath, I still struggled with the words.
“It’s safe to say, I wasn’t expecting that. You kissed me like you missed me.”
I smiled and said, “Good job with the rhyme.”
“I’m a budding songwriter,” he joked, making me smile even wider.
“So have you had a chance to think about us? I’m assuming that’s why you wanted to talk.”
I nodded. “I have a lot of baggage, Jay.”
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.”
I punched him gently in the shoulder, and he caught my hand and pulled me into his lap.
“Did I already tell you how much I missed you?” he asked, moving to kiss me again.
I placed a hand between our faces and he looked at me with such a forlorn expression that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I need you to focus and you can’t focus if you’re kissing me.”
“You mean, YOU can’t focus if I’m kissing you. I have that kind of effect on women.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “You’re making what I have to say difficult to even get out.”
“Ok, ok. I’m sorry. Spit it out. Like removing a Band-Aid, it’s less painful if you just don’t prolong the inevitable.”
“Ok. Here goes: I think I might be in love with you.”
He studied me for a moment, not saying anything. “You think or you know?”
He deserved to know how I felt, so I tried again. “I think I can’t imagine my life without you. I think…I more than want you around; I need you to be with me. I think that you make my life better; you make me happier and you make me feel cherished, special and irreplaceable. And for that, not only do I thank you, but I know that I love you.”
He didn’t say anything. He just sat there, considering my words.
To break the silence, I said, “How was that? Better than the other night?”
“A million times better. I’m—” He laughed and rubbed his hand through his hair. “I’m speechless. I was expecting a simple ‘I love you.’”
“No way. You deserve so much more than just that.”
“It would have been enough. After all, all I really want is you.”
“Well you have me.”
“Forever, I hope.”
“I don’t think even forever would be enough…”
And with that, he pulled me close, and instead of kissing me, he pulled me against his chest and placed his chin on the top of my head. And he just held me, demanding nothing, just content to be with me, just content with nothing but my presence. And as I relaxed against him, I knew that loving Jay wouldn’t be a risk. It would be a privilege. He was patient, kind, thoughtful, and ultimately perfect for me. No, loving him wasn’t a gamble. Loving Jay was a sure thing, as right as a rainbow after a torrential rain.
Epilogue
“Say cheese, Susie. Come on, say cheese…look at mommy, over here. Ok, now say cheeeessee,” Libby called out.
At that moment, Susie instead decided to throw her Easter basket down and began to cry as if someone was trying to murder her.
“Wow, do kids always make that much noise?” I asked.
Libby picked up her two-year-old and attempted to soothe her. “Just wait. Yours will make this much noise and more.”
“Ugghh, don’t say that.” At that very moment, Jay came walking up behind me and encircled
my expanding waist with his arms.
“Every day it becomes harder and harder to do this.”
“Pretty soon, I won’t even have a waist,” I said, looking up at him with a smile.
“I’ll still love you, waistless and all.”
“Oh my gosh, you guys and your lovey-dovey stuff,” Libby complained while Susie happily swatted at her mother’s earrings, apparently forgetting just seconds ago that she was in full-blown tantrum mode. I couldn’t keep up with Susie’s emotions, but Libby could, and she always seemed to be glowing when Susie was around—even when the terrible twos struck again.
She and Ash had adopted their daughter Susie less than five months ago and were enjoying their little family. She and Ash had decided to go the adoption route after confirming that there was a possibility, even a remote one, that the children he sired could possibly have the same debilitating disease. The adoption process had been slow, but in the end, they had adopted Susie from the foster care system. It had been an arduous process, but so worth it. Susie adjusted to life with Ash and Libby without any issues, as if they had been her parents all along. And did I mention how adorable Susie was? Even when she had a tantrum, she was still at that age where tantrums were cute and not anxiety inducing. Or maybe I just thought her tantrums were cute.
Marie’s little girl, Nadia, pulled at Libby’s skirt. “Auntie Libby, I want to hold the baby. Can I hold her please?”
I laughed as Marie’s eyebrows shot up. Nadia was three and a little on the short side, while Susie was pretty long. Shrugging, Libby handed Susie to Nadia. Nadia struggled to hold the toddler, who giggled and tried to escape.
Eventually they both toppled over, and Susie jumped up first and promptly ran away giggling. Nadia chased behind her yelling, “Come back, baby. Come back!”
Nadia insisted on calling Susie a baby, although they were only a year apart. It was adorable.
We didn’t know yet if we were having a little girl or boy. We wanted to be surprised. I was only four months along, but pregnancy hadn’t exactly been all warm fuzzies for me thus far, and I had spent the first trimester with my head in the toilet. Luckily, I was feeling much better, which meant when Marie asked Libby and I to come down to the resort for a little rest and relaxation, I had jumped at the chance.
And maybe Marie had been on to something. Drum circle really did make my little one calm down. And it also made me sleepy, truth be told. And on cue, I yawned and Kitty exclaimed, “Wow, Sarah. You’re going to pass out again, aren’t you?”
“I’m so tired…” I admitted.
Kitty walked over and pressed her ear against my tummy. “Listen baby, go to sleep. You’re exhausting our mother.”
“You’re doing great, Kitty. You pretty much have this big sister thing down to an art,” Jay said sarcastically.
“Of course I do, Dad. I’m the best.” And with that, she went running behind Nadia and Susie who were frolicking around in the blue bonnets that spread across the warm Texas landscape.
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NANCY ADAMS is an Amazon bestselling author of contemporary romance. She's currently single and dreams of one day meeting her prince charming and starting a family. She loves people and loves life. A real "people-person" who sometimes can't stand the noise. During those times, she curls up, shuts the door, and drifts into beautiful fantasy and welcomes all along for the ride. She expresses how she feels and what she wants to feel through her writing, and she doesn't know what she'd do without it. The mere fact that she is able to share her gift with the rest of the world is simply a bonus, and one that brings her nothing but pure joy!
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