The front door swung open and Lizzy came pouring out of it only to freeze on the spot as if stuck in the middle of a place she did not wish to be. Eyes met. Said so many things their voices were not able to. But nothing had changed. If anything, it was worse than before Charlie had run away on his boat.
Them, even farther away now than before.
Lizzy’s heartbeat was erratic, skipping all over, and not just because of his appearance out of nowhere. She was upset about something, eyes brimming in waterworks she was fighting so very hard to keep in.
Lucas flew out behind her but stalled upon seeing Charlie and her staring each other down. He spun around and hightailed it back inside. Not even a single desire to witness this tense reunion.
Lizzy finished down the stairs and met him in the driveway. A steeled expression taking over.
Charlie had wanted to act cool and collected, instead, all he stammered out was, “Hi.” He dropped his head, shaking it. “My infamous favorite firsts words to you… you’d think I’d come up with something better by now.”
She relaxed her steeled expression. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to jump out at you, I was…”
“Needing some air?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“Helping any?”
“Not yet,” she admitted, there was a slight tremble in her voice.
“Probably because I’m filling it,” he returned flatly, hating himself for his piss poor timing.
Lizzy flung her hands into the air. “I can’t do this, Charlie.”
His brows pinched together with a flicker of distress that made him fight the urge for the silver of his wolf to claim his blue eyes.
Was she choosing Grayson? Right now, already, just like that?
“I just mean I need to be me.” She clarified, seeing she’d instantly freaked him out. “I can’t tiptoe around and pretend all this shit isn’t happening. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Or anyone’s. That is the last thing on my mind. I just… need to be… me.” She threw her hands out in front of her and pinned her gaze on him, hoping he understood as she was not finding it easy to explain what she meant. “I guess you’re not the only one a bit tongue tied.”
Charlie grinned. Could not help himself. Like usual he’d gone straight into worst case scenario mode. Pass or fail. There was no in between. Except there was, and he stuck living in it and dying to get out of it.
“I would expect nothing less, Lizzy. And I’m glad. Relieved, actually.”
She softened more, chewing on her ever so bitable lips. Charlie pretended not to notice but his gaze lingered too long and he had to force it away. The moonlight made her look soft and vulnerable, and seeing Lizzy in such distress when she was normally so sure of herself, bothered him tremendously. He wanted to make it better, but it wasn’t his problem to solve. The future was something she had to decide.
“We both knew this might get awkward, Lizzy, so let’s just be us. You’re right that neither of us can pretend otherwise.” At least this could be all in, or out, leaving nothing to the middle ground.
“There’s too much going on in my head. I need to be able to think straight, which is proving near impossible with everything going on. And so much harder if I can’t be myself.”
“Lizzy, we work good together and there’s no reason for that to change. You’re a live in the moment, wear your emotions on your sleeve type of person. I know you don’t think of yourself that way. But you don’t hold back and I don’t want you to on my account. Or Grayson’s, or anyone’s. I’d never ask that of you. Ever.”
And wasn’t that part of why she loved him so damn much!
She was not happy he was right about her though. No matter how she’d tried to control her emotions in public places, she did so poorly. Just because she’d save the worst of it for her “crying beach,” didn’t mean she hid the rest enough. It had never felt right, keeping it all in. She’d never been able to be herself in her first life, other than with Mathew, or her father.
And after being ghasted she’d determined she’d never live like that again. She was always getting herself into trouble for being unable to keep her mouth shut. That had not changed in all these years of her long life. Outspoken if she needed to be. She refused to hold back if it was important and needed to be said.
And damn the werewolf for being accidentally romantic and ridiculously understanding at a time like this. So very Charlie. And not helping because try as she might her body was completely betraying what her mind insisted was necessary. Was it possible for her mind and body to align, and agree, and behave, all at the same time, just once?
Damn these men!
Why did she fall so hard for the supernatural alpha types?
Somehow, these two males were able to see right through her. Just like Charlie was doing now. Just like Grayson did in the basement, and all those years ago when they’d been together.
It was written all over Charlie’s face, in the silvery blue swarming in his eyes. He was reading her like a book and saying every right word and doing every right thing. It got her skin itchy and tight and burning up… simply too much testosterone! She needed some man free air to get her thoughts sorted out.
Charlie cleared his throat. Lizzy was putting off seriously aroused vibes. Some days, he wished it were possible to turn off the wolf senses, keep it from picking up all these little subtleties. Like the delicious honey and bourbon that was Lizzy Deane. Wolf part of him set aside, he was certain the male part of him would have picked up on it to.
The super hard part was not acting on it, or letting his body respond the way it wanted to… by stealing her away to some dark corner and kissing the ever loving hell out of her.
“So, um, what’s been going on? What all have I missed?” He needed to keep them to their promise to act normal. So far it was an epic fail, and only minutes in. So much for something not in the middle ground.
No, I can do this. It’s perfect really. Keep it business as usual.
Although the ache in his chest warned him otherwise, no matter how hard he tried to make himself believe he could let it go. Let her go… and do the job.
Lizzy started in explaining, ignoring the pangs in her chest, going over details from the last few days. Mostly, there was a big bunch of not a whole heck of a lot going down. Until today, when Grayson finally started talking.
Charlie tried very, very hard, not to growl or vocalize his displeasure over Grayson and some of what he’d said. Lizzy, as promised, was brutally honest. It took every ounce of control he could muster. And not just because it was so obvious the vampire was staking a claim on Lizzy, but that this entire confrontation had taken a toll on her. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.
This was something he understood.
When she finished, Charlie didn’t stop himself from invading her space and wrapping his arms around her. It wasn’t romantic, just supportive. And she understood it as such.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this.” He genuinely meant it. And released her.
She tried her darndest not to roll her eyes and smack him for once again crossing that line into accidentally showing how much romance he was capable of. He was concerned, and sympathetic, and offering support, even if it meant he lost her to Grayson; it was impossible to get angry with him. Charlie being the nice guy was killing her. This would almost be easier if he’d just get angry.
He was fighting for her, in his own Charlie way though. He just wasn’t aware of it.
“So what are your thoughts about all Grayson told you, Lizzy? Do you believe all he said?”
“I am… no less confused at this moment than before. But yes, I do believe him. I can say with absolute certainty he would not lie to me. I have to admit though, I’m wondering if I need to remove myself from this situation entirely. The outcome, after lifting the curse, at least. I do not believe I can do this without being biased in my opinions. He is not the same as he was, but in my mind the past and present are getting muddy.”
Her gaze explained silently, it doesn’t mean I’ve chosen him, I’m just confused, and the lines are getting blurrier.
Charlie sighed, hurting on her behalf. Also filled with pride that one, she’d even consider removing herself an option, which meant she trusted the rest of them to do the right thing. And that above all else, she would step aside if it meant it was not the right thing to be involved. Just as he’d suspected. And didn’t it just make him fall in love with her a little more. He tried hard not to let it show. He wanted Lizzy to have her space, and freedom be herself and get through this. And be open with him, even if it hurt a little, or a lot. Whatever the outcome.
“Any idea how to break this curse? He seems to think you, and only you, can.”
“Honestly, Charlie, I have no clue. Not a single, worthy idea. It makes sense that it has to be me. This witch, Charlotte, was eerily prepared for this outcome. Like she knew every move we’d make before it happened. Like she saw the future. In some ways, almost like she somehow planned our future.” Lizzy hesitated for a minute. “Something about all of this isn’t sitting with me well.”
“You’re worried by breaking the curse, something else will happen.” He stated it, again, reading her too easily.
“I’ve run through a hundred scenarios in my brain and I can’t imagine, even if Charlotte was gifted with such foresight, she’d be able to conjure some other terrible thing from beyond the grave. It has to end with the breaking of this curse. But I have my doubts, Charlie. Seeing the lengths she’s gone, understanding everything she’s done so far.”
“It gives reason to doubt. We’d not be doing our jobs if we didn’t question.”
And frighteningly so, it brought Nina’s final warning to light. But he didn’t want to overwhelm Lizzy with even more possible bad news so he kept it to himself. He’d tell her once she’d had the chance to rest.
“It feels like I’m missing something. I hate that I can’t figure it out.”
The thought of some other horrific thing happening was bad enough; but the idea it might happen to Lizzy made that ache in Charlie’s chest deepen a little more. He reached out and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“You are only one woman, Lizzy. A remarkable one,” he grinned tightly, “but this isn’t all on you. We’re all here to help figure this out. And we will. Grayson will get a fair trial, I promise.”
How hard that must have been for Charlie to say. Lizzy nodded, grateful. But frustrated too. It was killing her, this feeling that she was missing something.
“You’re not going to be less hard on yourself? Are you?” Charlie questioned, wearing a smirk.
“Are you?” she threw back at him.
“My brain does not seem to be wired for taking it easy.”
“Our brains must have had the same maker,” she joked flatly. “Oh, and um, you should also be aware, Charlie, just as Charlotte made it so Grayson could not return to the Isle until the banishment curse was broken, she’s now made it so he cannot leave the Isle. He is stuck here, along with the curse.”
“She really did plan for everything. Who is this witch? I can’t believe she holds the name Howard.” He stared at Lizzy who was suddenly far away in her mind somewhere. He reached up and stroked her cheek to bring her back. “This isn’t your fault. You had every right to want your life back. You coming back did not cause this. This is all on Charlotte.”
Damn the man! For seeing right through her again. Like their brains worked on the same wavelength. Without realizing it she’d leaned into his caress. And before her brain fired off the warning, don’t do it, her lips found his. So natural. So perfect.
Why couldn’t the past she’d let go of, stay in the past?
Charlie stiffened, but caved just as fast. The taste of her so instantly intoxicating.
His hand moved to the back of her head, raking up through her hair. The other snaked possessively around her waist and without protest, their bodies slammed together. Lizzy’s hands tensed, gripping at his shoulders in a gesture of, I have to stop. He did what she could not, and split himself away, the agony of doing so on his breath.
Lizzy looked like she was having a serious inner meltdown.
“Sorry.” He’d promised her space and was already breaking this promise.
“No, Charlie. I’m sorry. That was not a fair move at all. And totally on me.”
“Even so, I’d never give that kiss back. Not for the entire world.”
And wasn’t that the real problem because she didn’t want to either.
She shifted away from him, sucking in some Charlie free air.
This wasn’t going to be easy at all.
There was no just being her.
Or just being him.
Because it meant being in love.
There wasn’t any burying that and pretending it wasn’t there. It was the most miserable middle ground Charlie had ever been stuck in. He’d thought he could take himself out of it, for Lizzy. And to protect his own heart.
He’d been wrong.
“Already failing at this whole being us thing aren’t we.” Like he’d just taken the words out of her mouth.
“No, the problem is, Charlie, this is us. But there is a man locked in your basement who I was supposed to marry. Who lived through hell for me. And I don’t know how to…” Charlie stopped her.
“We just have to be honest with each other. As difficult as that might be.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Charlie.”
“I know. How about we take a step back, um, I guess kind of literally, maybe even a few steps, and get back to what you were saying before. About Grayson being stuck on the Isle.”
Space.
Enough neither could reach out and touch or kiss the other.
“Right. Yeah.” Lizzy followed his move. “Grayson cannot leave now. He’s stuck here, with the curse.”
“You think Charlotte wanted some final revenge on you two? Or the Isle? Or hoped he’d go on some killing spree or something?” Which he kind of had before they’d captured him.
“I can only wager a yes on that. His bloodlust is only going to increase,” she warned heavily. “His desperation for fresh human blood will make him stronger. And more dangerous. You’ll need to keep him sedated at all times. I think Charlotte wanted him to suffer, probably hoped he’d return and be so lost in the bloodlust he killed me.”
There was no holding back the growl churning in Charlie’s throat over that thought.
“At the least, I’m sure she wanted the end result of Grayson returning, to make him think he had some glimmer of hope at being cured, and then having to be killed instead anyway.”
“What a sick woman.”
“Kind of makes you wonder about reincarnation,” rattled Lizzy. Charlie cocked his head, eyeing her. “Eva… She could have been Charlotte reborn, just not a witch. But very much a bitch.”
He scowled. “They are two of a pair. I hope whatever hell they’re both in means they are suffering to the beat of an everlasting pain party.”
Lizzy grinned. Then laughed. And shook her head in complete exhaustion.
He returned it with a clipped laugh of his own.
“That actually made me feel so much better,” sighed Lizzy. “Picturing that scene. You do have a sense of humor.”
“Wasn’t meant to be funny, but it’s been known to happen. Maybe once or twice before. Remember this day though, it might not ever happen again.”
“I needed that.” She let go of some of the stress eating away at her. “Have you ever heard anywhere in your family history of witches with the power of foresight? Not like Melinda has, with death, but visions of the future?”
“No. But to be pathetically honest, William would be the one to ask. I rarely ever look into that stuff. I will though. I’ll track down the old family archives, see what I can find out. See if there happens to be anything written about this Charlotte Howard.”
“We’ve already started on that. Just thought I’d ask in
case William had ever mentioned it before or something. And I don’t even think this knowledge does any good, it changes nothing really. But I guess the more we know about Charlotte, the better prepared we can be for whatever other sadistic thing she might have planned for when I break the curse.”
Charlie refused to bring up the subject of after the curse was broken, and what might happen to Grayson. That could wait for another day. Lizzy’d already had enough blows from the looks of it to last a long time.
“It’s so hard to believe we had an ancestor so revoltingly evil,” he said instead.
“Welcome to the club. Not fun, is it?”
He laughed, tightly. “No. And a strong reminder that a name really means little in the end. It’s what’s in a person’s heart and soul that matters.”
She shook her head and cursed inwardly. “You really have to stop that.”
“Sorry…” he shrugged, unclear as to what he’d done wrong.
“Being accidentally romantic and understanding as hell.” She had to fight every urge to rush over and climb all over him. Again.
“Oh, that, um…”
“Don’t apologize, Charlie. It’s like I said before. You are a hopeless romantic all the time without even trying, just by being you. And I was the one who said be ourselves.”
“I wasn’t trying to make it harder on you. But you must realize, Lizzy, I will do everything in my power to make all of this right. Whatever you decide about your future. Whatever the outcome is.”
God damn the man! Was he shooting for accidental romantic gesture of the year?
“I know you will, Charlie.” She let out a wary sigh.
“Why don’t you head home and get some rest. You look like you need it.”
She nodded. Agreeing. But added, “So do you.”
“Didn’t sleep much on the boat but…” he wanted to tell her all about Nina, the parts he could share, but now was not the right time. Lizzy was already overwhelmed. And damn, it was going to be hard not telling her everything. Especially since not all of it concerned their possible future, but her new brothers as well. It didn’t feel right, holding back, keeping secrets. Even if it was for the Guardians, and Nina. “I think my head is on a little straighter.” It was all he managed to conclude about his time on the boat.
Hexed and Dangerous (The Wicked Witch of Future Past) (A Wicked Good Witches Paranormal Romance Book 9) Page 11