Away

  YESTERDAY WENT BY TOO FAST. It was already morning and Mel was leaving. I knew I would see her again soon but it still didn’t make seeing her leave any easier. Even though she said her goodbyes and thank yous last night to Trish, Bart, and Jason, I still had to say goodbye.

  I snuck upstairs so I didn’t wake Jason and met Mel upstairs before she left.

  “This was a damn good time, Cass. I’m glad I came up.” The happy look on her face was forced. I knew she had a good time, but she was reluctant to go. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t want her to go just yet either.

  “Best time ever,” I said tearfully.

  She grabbed her bag, and we quietly walked out of the house to her car. It was still dark, the sun soon to rise as we hugged goodbye on the curb. We pulled away with a single tear rolling down each of our cheeks.

  “Goodbyes suck ass,” she said with a crack in her voice.

  “Tell me about it,” I said. “Will you please call me the minute you get back to campus?”

  “You know it.” She opened the driver side door and threw her bag on the passenger seat.

  “Love you, Mel,” I said, my heart aching that she was leaving.

  “Love you too, Mama.” She winked, sitting down in the seat as she closed the door.

  I blew her a kiss, then walked into the house, and headed back downstairs.

  Today was going to be a hell of a day. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my best friend, but I also knew Jason had dialysis today. I was bound and determined to go with him. I wanted to be there to support every aspect of what he was going through as much as I could. He was always supportive of me, and I wanted to do the same. I quickly brushed my damp hair and finished putting on my clothes before I left Jason’s bathroom. I decided to get ready before he could dispute me going with him. When I made my way to his room, his light was on and his door was cracked open.

  “There she is,” he said to me as he pulled out some clothes from his dresser. “And she is already dressed.” He looked me over from head to toe, confusion plastering his face. “I was headed to the bathroom to go check on you. I thought you were getting sick again. Why are you already dressed?”

  “You act like you’ve never seen me ready for the day,” I said as I walked by and put his shirt that I slept in by my suitcase.

  “This early? No, I haven’t,” he said.

  “I got ready early so I would be ready to leave when you are. I didn’t want to give you the chance to use that as an excuse.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I don’t want you to get mad or even argue with me about this, but I’m going with you today.”

  He pushed his brows together as he looked at me, shutting the drawer he just pulled a pair of jeans from. “Going where with me today?”

  “Dialysis,” I answered, walking over to his bed to sit down.

  He was shaking his head and turned so he was fully facing me. “Absolutely not.”

  While his voice was definitely not happy with what I told him, I couldn’t help but gawk at him standing in front of me. His bare chest and tight dark blue boxers had me so distracted. I couldn’t help but quietly giggle as my eyes caught focus of his morning wood.

  “What’s so funny about that?”

  I got up from the bed and walked over to him. “Nothing, just go shower.” I shot him a wink and headed for the stairs.

  “You’re not going,” he shouted.

  “Whatever you say, Jase,” I shouted back as I made my way upstairs.

  I fully intended to go whether he approved or not. I opened the door at the top of the stairs and made my way to the front door. I grabbed his extra set of keys he kept hung by the entryway and went outside to wait for him in his truck.

  “What are you doing?” he asked as he pulled his truck door open, his head shaking back and forth in apparent disapproval.

  “I’m going. I’m supporting you, and I’m not getting out of this truck.”

  “You’re stubborn,” he sassed as he sat down in the driver’s seat and closed his door.

  “I learned from the best,” I said.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked as he started up his truck, the look on his face concerned. It was as if he had never had anyone want to be there for him before, which I knew was impossible. He had support all around him.

  “Yes. Stop asking and just drive. I’m not leaving. Like I told you, you have me,” I said and reached for his cheek, rubbing my hand against his scruffy face. “I’m in this with you.”

  He closed his eyes. I leaned over the emptiness between us and placed a kiss on his lips, surprising him as he opened his eyes suddenly. He pressed his lips harder against mine, kissed me back before pulling us out of the driveway, and heading to the hospital.

  Trish wasn’t around as we walked through the front doors and headed down the hallway that led to the dialysis room. That hallway didn’t bring back good memories. In fact, I grabbed Jason’s hand and held it tightly until we got to the room.

  “There he is,” an older lady said as we opened the door and entered the room.

  I let go of Jason’s hand as he greeted the lady with a hug. “Colleen,” he said as he let go of her. “This is Cassandra.” I smiled as he pulled me up to his side.

  “Cassandra,” she said, extending her hand out for me to shake. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

  I met her hand with mine and shook it. “It’s nice to meet you, Colleen. Sorry for the–”

  She put her hand up, cutting me off. “No need, Cassandra. I completely understand. This is hard for anyone to take.”

  I gave her a grateful look. “Thanks.”

  “She insisted on coming with me today,” Jason told her.

  “Yes, I did. I’m here for support,” I told Colleen.

  “You’re a lucky guy,” she said to Jason as she walked past him.

  He looked over at me and mouthed ‘thank you’ before walking over to Colleen.

  I watched him get his weight, blood pressure, and temperature checked. He was amazing. That was all there was to it. Three days a week was a lot for someone to have to do this. I felt a prickling pain in my chest as I thought of all the times that he told me he had to run an errand. Picturing him sitting here alone almost made me break into tears.

  “Cassie?” I heard his voice yell to me. I looked over at him. “You okay over there?”

  “Yeah, sorry.” I had to stop checking out mentally.

  “I have a chair for you right next to Jason,” Colleen told me as she finished getting Jason set up in his chair that was next to a large machine.

  “Thank you,” I said as I sat down in the chair next to Jason.

  I watched as Colleen hooked two tubes in his arm. I closed my eyes, remembering when he told me about the scar. Clearly, it wasn’t accidental. It was purposeful and most definitely for his dialysis.

  “All set, Jason,” she told him before walking away.

  It was a lot to take in. The machine was huge. There were the tubes coming out of him and a large screen monitoring him as the blood flowed through the tubes. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I watched the screen on the machine.

  “Don’t be afraid of it,” he said, interrupting my thoughts.

  “It’s hard not to be,” I replied. “Is this why Anna broke up with you? Because she couldn’t handle seeing you like this?”

  He shook his head as his eyes found mine. “No. Not even close, Sweetheart. She broke up with me because she couldn’t handle me holding her back because I was like this. She was selfish, and as much as she tore my heart to shreds, I’m grateful now because she made me feel like I was sick and breakable. Who wants to feel like that? You look at me like I’m stronger than any other person you’ve ever met, like I’m your hero.”

  “Because you are, Jason. You are the strongest person I know. I couldn’t even fathom going through what you are, and still keeping a smile on my face. You’re a hero Jason.”

  �
�Okay, if you two keep this up, I’m going to start bawling my eyes out,” Colleen told us as she came walking up to Jason. “But I see what you were saying, Jason. She’s a keeper,” Colleen said before walking to the other side of the room to look through a few charts.

  It was time to change the subject; we didn’t need to make anyone cry today. I adjusted myself in the chair and looked over at Jason. “Thanks again for letting Mel come and for taking us out to dinner.”

  “It was good to meet your other half,” he said. “She is a good friend for you. Not what I expected, but in a weird way, it works.”

  “Her parents, while I love them because they are the opposite of mine, are part of the problem. They don’t really give two shits about their daughter. That’s why she went to college on the complete opposite side of the state.”

  “That’s horrible,” he said.

  “Yeah, but she is a tough cookie and she has me. To make sure she knows she is amazing. I’ll never let her down.”

  “You are such a good friend,” he said. “What did you guys do yesterday before dinner? I forgot to ask you guys last night.”

  “I had to tell her about you and that is something I don’t ever want to have to do again. I can slightly understand why you took so long.” I gave him an apologetic look. “Then we talked about the baby and went to the store you took us to when you bought my boots. She wanted a pair of black ones.”

  “Ah, already starting a new trend with your friends. Look at what I’ve done,” he gloated.

  I playfully rolled my eyes at him. “After the boots, we just literally talked the whole time. Even though we’ve talked over the phone, it’s always different in person. You can actually see the emotion and excitement on the other’s face. It was a much needed visit. Then we drove back and visited with your mom a bit, and then you came to take us to dinner. Sorry about the dinner conversation by the way.” I cringed as I thought about her mouth and the things she said. She always gives out too much information.

  He let out a throaty laugh. “It was extremely entertaining. I especially enjoyed the commentary on her past boyfriends and their nicknames.”

  “She has a way with words and happens to be missing a filter, but she means well. I know there is a good guy out there for her; she just hasn’t found him yet.” I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies releasing in my stomach as I thought of the guy I just found. I’m so lucky to have him in my life and to think, I wasn’t even looking.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked softly.

  I turned my gaze back toward him and lightly shook my head. “Nothing, just stuff.”

  “Should I be worried? Is this too much for you?” he asked, sounding concerned that I would bail on him.

  “I’m not going to lie to you Jason. It’s a bit much, but you definitely shouldn’t be worried. So, what do you do in here for four hours?”

  He let out a heavy sigh and tilted his head, his beautiful green emerald eyes looking so content while he gazed at me. “I think, sometimes I write letters, sometimes I play card games with Colleen. The four hours go by quick.”

  “Again with the letters. Who are you writing to?” I asked, curious about his secret pen pal.

  “Are you jealous?” he asked as his lips curled up. “You want me to write you a letter?”

  “Yes! I’d absolutely love it.”

  “And where do I mail this letter to?” he asked as he arched his brow up at me.

  “Not sure about the mailing address. How about you just leave it on my suitcase? We can just pretend the mailman dropped it off.” We both laughed at my teasing.

  “I can do that,” he said, nodding his head.

  “When will I be getting this letter?” I asked him.

  “This will be pure torture for you. Not knowing when it will arrive is going to just sit and eat at you isn’t it?”

  “You’re a brat,” I sassed.

  “You’ll get it soon. I have special plans for your letter.” He winked.

  I felt like a little kid waiting for Christmas. It was going to take all the patience I could muster up to not sit and wait for the ‘mailman’ to deliver a letter to my suitcase. It was pure hell what he was doing, but I couldn’t help loving the torture he was putting me through.

  A few hours had passed. Like Jason said, time went quickly. As I stretched my arms in the air, an obnoxious beeping startled me. I looked around to find where it was coming from, and I realized it was the dialysis machine.

  “Oh my God, your machine is beeping. Jason, what’s going on? Are you okay?” I panicked; I literally panicked. I didn’t know if I could handle something going wrong.

  “Relax,” he said calmly. “The machine is just telling me I’m done. There is nothing wrong.” His lips curled to the side in amusement as a chuckle escaped them.

  “I do not find this funny in the slightest.”

  “You’re right. It’s not funny. It’s cute.” His eyes went from mine over to Colleen who was walking over to Jason.

  “How was your first time here, Cassandra?” Colleen turned her head toward me as she waited for my response.

  “It was,” I said before pausing, trying to think of the right way to describe what this felt like, “hard at first, but Jason made things okay. He turned something that was scary into a pleasant four hour date.” I looked over at Jason and flashed him a sexy wink. His cheeks blushed in return. I would never get sick of seeing him blush an adorable shade of pink.

  “She is everything you said she was,” Colleen said as she finished up with Jason.

  “Yeah, I think I’ll keep her,” he said. “You ready?” He looked over at me as he stood up from his chair.

  “Sure am,” I answered as I rose and walked over to him. “I got plans for you, Mister.”

  He looked over at me with a curious look in eyes. “Oh, you do?”

  “Not like that, but yes, I do have plans,” I said, grabbing his hand as we walked out of the hospital. “We are going to take it easy because you get so tired after dialysis.”

  “How did you find that out?”

  “Your mom told me yesterday. I can remember the moments that I thought something was different with you, and now I know why. You were just tired, and you hid it well, just so you know.”

  “It was hard, believe me. I just didn’t want to waste time being tired. I wanted to spend and enjoy every moment that I could with you.”

  “I like that answer, Jase. Well, this afternoon, we are going to relax and have a Scrabble rematch. Just the two of us,” I told him. “If I win again though, you realize that means I officially become a Scrabble master.”

  His head fell back as he let out a throaty laugh. “We’ll have to see about that.”

  We got in his truck and left the hospital. I suddenly realized how my two times going to the emergency room would never compare to the three times a week he had to go for dialysis. I couldn’t believe I even complained about having to go in the first place.

  I felt his hand grab mine as we drove toward the house. “Thanks for going today. I mean it too. You’ll never know how much that meant to me, Cassie.” His head turned in my direction, and he had a look on his face that I hadn’t seen before. It was warm and thankful, deep down to his very core. I could feel it as his hand held onto mine so tightly that it seemed he wasn’t ever letting go. I didn’t want him to. My heartstrings pulled tight as the smile stayed on his face once he turned back to the road.

  “I’ll be at the next one too. Like I said, I’m in,” I told him, squeezing his hand tighter.

  He squeezed my hand with a firm grip. He didn’t have to say anything. I already knew how grateful he was. What he didn’t know was how grateful I was for him.

  BEING WITH JASON WAS EASY. It was as though the sun was always shining down on us, warming our skin, rain or shine. Everything with him was pure bliss and maybe it was what people referred to as the honeymoon stage, but I honestly didn’t care. Honeymoon stage or not, the affection and fe
elings we had for one another couldn’t even be classified as a stage. It felt like it was in a category all of its own.

  Three days passed so quickly that it seemed as though we were on fast forward. I wanted it to slow down but it wouldn’t. The whirlwind never stopped. Between kicking his ass at Scrabble a few more times (which only made him believe that I was for sure cheating), another dialysis trip full of meaningless but powerful conversation, and sleeping in his arms every night, my world started piecing itself back together. I especially loved the moment when I got Jase to agree to attend college with me in the spring. It took some major convincing on my end, but he finally caved. He planned to take only a couple of classes until he felt comfortable enough with a full schedule. It made me proud that he was taking the leap again. I told him that I’d find him a dialysis center and would be there for him in any way I could be. He could count on me, just like I could count on him. He made sure that I knew without a doubt in my mind that he would be there for the baby and me. Knowing I had his support warmed me over. He felt certain it was a boy and I was positive I would be in all sorts of trouble if he were correct.

  My car was finally fixed and, just as Jason said it would once Moose finished, looked completely perfect. She was as good as new, and parked out front of the Bradley’s house. It wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was I. After talking with Trish, Bart, and Jason, we agreed that I would be staying until Jason and I left for college. It was an extremely emotional conversation, but one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. As I said before, these three days were a whirlwind of emotion, love, and happy moments that I would never forget.

  It was on day four though when the most magical thing happened. A call came that would change the life of the man who was changing me.