by Abigail Agar
“I know you are. It gives me great peace knowing I have your blessing.”
“This wedding negotiation should be easy. I didn’t gamble away her dowry, and we have nothing to negotiate.”
Everett let out a breath and put a hand on Phin’s shoulder. “That’s not why I wanted to see you alone.”
Everett put his glass on the desk and leaned forward in his chair, forearms on his thighs. He looked Phin in the eyes.
“This Charlotte problem is transforming you into a difficult, moody, dissatisfied bear. The answer is not parading unworthy girls around so you can point to one.
Phin put his drink down and his hands on his knees. “What is the answer, Everett?”
“God, Phin, I wish I knew. We’re going to need to write down all your options and talk about them. Now is not a good time.
He paused, then continued, “That outburst wasn’t you Phin. Try to keep things in check. We all know you’re miserable. Our hearts break along with yours. Don’t take this out on Silas and Mercy. If you need to vent, come see me.”
“You’re right. Every time something goes wrong in my life, I come to you. Thank you for being there for me. I wonder sometimes; I get a lot out of our friendship. What do you get?”
Everett looked at Phin in surprise. He grinned. “I get you.”
“Oh. Listen Ev, do you really want to marry my sister?”
“Yes. And I agree. Let’s just start planning it right now. You’re going to have to do without us for a month or so when we are on our honeymoon.”
Phin nodded. “We’ll go over business before you go, and I won’t make decisions while you’re gone. You know, you’ll have Mercy and Josie living under one roof, and you'll have me there all the time. I’m not sure marriage will be that different than your life is now. And I doubt it will be much of an adjustment for Mercy either. Have you considered a larger townhouse?”
Everett stood, and Phin followed. He slapped Phin’s back. “No more yelling?”
“No more. Thank you. We’ll go over the factory production schedule today?”
Everett grimaced. “How about tomorrow. Mercy and I have a lot of plans to iron out. I’ll pay for the wedding. I don’t need the dowry.”
Phin rolled his eyes. “No, it might not seem the same to Mercy if you pay for it. I hear females are funny about that. I’m her guardian. It’s my responsibility, and I’ll do it gladly. If you don’t want her dowry, put the account in her name, and let her have it. Who knows? Maybe she’ll pay for the honeymoon. I’ll suggest it to her.”
Everett’s eyes lit up. “That would mean I wouldn’t pay anything to get married. That’s a good deal.”
Phin breathed deep. “Tomorrow then. And I’ll try not to scare off anyone else in the meantime.”
“Good. That angry display isn’t you. I think you should go boxing today. When’s the last time you went to Gentleman Jim’s? It would be a great way to take out your frustration in a constructive way.”
Phin’s eyes brightened. “Want to meet me there?”
Everett laughed. “I don’t want to box against you today.”
Chapter 23
“Lord Merritt here to see you, Your Grace.”
Phin rose from behind his desk and walked around. He was surprised to see him. They bowed.
Phin swept his hand to one of the two chairs in front of his desk. “Drink?”
Merritt nodded.
Handing Merritt a drink, Phin sat next to him. “You look distressed. Is there something wrong?”
Merritt moved in his chair and looked at Phin. “It’s Bernard.” Merritt raised his hand, palm facing Phin. “Before you speak your piece about Bernard, hear me out.” Phin nodded slowly.
“You most likely know he’s in trouble, owing way too much money to the wrong person. If you saw him today, you’d barely recognize him. They took him in an alley, and they left no part of his body untouched. Between the bruises and the swelling and the blood, he is just plain painful to look at.
“I told Bernard to stay home and not to answer the door to anyone. He has sat in his house, beaten to mush with nothing to do all day.”
Phin opened his mouth to speak, but Merritt raised his hand again to stop him. “Let me finish. This will all come together for you shortly. Bernard would kick my ribs in if he knew I was here, but I think I have a way to solve his money problem and your, how should I say this, your Bennett problem.
“Your cousin, Elizabeth had in her possession your father’s journal in which he wrote candidly about his feelings for you when you cut him off. Bernard robbed Elizabeth two days ago, stole everything she had in a secret hole in her wall. He took jewellery, money and your father’s journal.
“I don’t know where she got it; I assume she thought it might be useful for blackmail, although I don’t know. She hid it away and never used it.
“I took the journal and read some of it. Your father’s journal negates the rumours flying around that won’t go away. You might want to look at it and see if you agree.
“You and Bernard would both get something out of this. Bernard would get the money he needs to pay off the mate. He’s going to have to start with nothing, but it’s a lot better than what he has now. And you get a journal that your father wrote proving you didn’t steal his money and run off with it to India.”
Phin took a sip of his drink and looked at the ceiling. Except for the tick of the mantle clock, all was quiet.
“How much does he owe?”
Merritt sucked in a breath through his teeth and gave Phin a number.
“Jesus, I had no idea he was that deep into it. He’s lucky they didn’t take the limb.”
Merritt nodded, not saying anything.
Phin thought about it for a long time, and Merritt moved to get more comfortable in his chair.
“I’ll consider it on three conditions.”
Merritt leaned forward, “Go on.”
“One, I read the journal and agree his writings prove my innocence. Two, I bring the money for the payoff. I don’t want him to take the money and go to Maggie’s. Three, he leaves the country for good. He goes to the continent and starts over. In this political climate, France would be hospitable to him.”
“When do you want to look at the journal?”
“Now.”
***
“Jesus, Bernard. Merritt was right. It’s painful to look at you.”
“Thanks, Collins.” Bernard turned to his friend. “Merritt, are you selling tickets to the freak show or have you brought Collins over here for another reason.”
Merritt rolled his head back and looked at the ceiling. He mumbled, “Help me, God.” He looked at Bernard and barked out, “Go get the journal. Don’t argue with me.”
When Bernard came back with the journal, Phin knew without even holding it that it was Bennett’s. Bernard handed it to Phin.
“I need an hour,” he said while looking at the cover.
“We’ll be in the kitchen,” Merritt said.
Bernard looked at Merritt. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”
Phin opened the journal. It was definitely Bennett’s handwriting from beginning to end. He started reading,
about halfway through, Phin had to put the journal down. Emotions from five and six years past came to the surface. They were strong, raw. He had no idea his father hated him that much. With his elbows on the armrests of his chair, Phin put his head in his hands.
His father came across as a bitter, desperate man. It seemed to Phin that he was not only irascible to his son; he was like that with everyone. Did it hurt less to know that? No. It stung. Bennett was in his grave, and he could still make Phin hang his head. Could still make Phin ashamed as if his father’s weaknesses had anything to do with him. Every time he read, ‘it’s all Phin’s fault,’ he could hear Bennett’s gravelly voice saying the words.
Hiding his sickness must have taken all his energy. Phin wished he could assure himself that Bennett was mean to him to
scare him away. To keep him from finding out about his gambling. So he wouldn’t be judged. Stop it. Stop making excuses for him, Phin. His father detested him. End of story.
Painful as it was, Phin knew it would clear his reputation. God, he hated his personal life to be so public, but he was willing to do it if Charlotte would take him back.
He found the rest of the journal easier to read knowing his father couldn’t do any worse to him than he had already done. He read with an eye towards proving his innocence. Towards proving him as an upstanding man who was marriageable.
He knocked then walked through the kitchen door and looked at Merritt.
“Did you tell him my conditions?”
Merritt turned to Bernard. “He told me.”
“And?”
Bernard stood. “I don’t want to leave England.”
He turned to Merritt. “My conditions are non-negotiable. Are we done here?” He threw the journal on the table and began putting on his coat.
Merritt got out of his chair with such force that it toppled over, clanging when it hit the floor. Merritt growled. “Last chance, Bernard. You’ll be dead in a couple of days. You’re out of options. We’re done. I’ve helped you all I can. It’s over.”
Coat on, Phin walked to the back door. He opened it, turned, and said goodbye.
“Wait,” Bernard said, his voice cracking. “I accept. All of your conditions.”
“You know I’ll have you tailed. I’ll have someone watch you to make sure you never come back, don’t you?”
Bernard nodded. “I do now.”
Phin grinned. “Pack your things. You’re leaving on the next boat headed for France.”
He turned. “Merritt, if you would be so kind as to alert the mate I will pay off Bernard’s debt today in a private room at the England and India National Bank at 5 p.m.. You and Bernard should be there too. There will be no question in the mate’s mind of which debt is being paid off and by whom. After the transaction with the mate is complete, the three of us will go to the docks and wish Bernard a bon voyage. I’ll wait on the docks until the boat leaves.
“Oh, and Bernard?” Phin stopped and turned to him, “You should thank your lucky stars you have a friend in Merritt.”
Phin picked up the journal on the table, opened the door, and left.
Chapter 24
“Good morning, Your Grace,” Malcolm said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. Phin had thrown him out of his bedchamber yesterday and dressed himself. He neither shaved nor brushed his hair. Malcolm would be the laughing stock of all the valets in London if Phin left the house looking like that.
“Good morning, Malcolm. I think I’ll manage by myself again today. You may take the day off and leave me be,” Phin said sounding tired and unfocused.
“I beg your pardon, Your Grace,” Malcolm haltingly spoke, “but it is my duty and pleasure to help. May I at least shave you and help with your unruly hair?”
“Don’t worry yourself, Malcolm. I won’t be leaving the house today. Could you please ask someone to bring me some tea?”
“Your Grace,” Malcolm bowed and reluctantly left the room.
Everett, who had been breaking his fast with Mercy, came upstairs to see how Phin was doing.
Everett found Phin sitting in a chair by the fire with his robe on, scrawny ankles peeking out when he swung his crossed leg. “I don’t get the impression Malcolm is too happy right now, and after having a quick look at you, I can’t say I blame him.”
“No, well, now I’m supposed to do something I don’t want to do because I might hurt Malcolm’s feelings?”
“The real question is why don’t you want to shave instead of looking like that?”
Phin sighed dramatically. Everett rolled his eyes, sitting next to him in front of the fire. He turned to Everett. “I’m not going out today, so I don’t need to be shaved.
Everett leaned over the armrest, “What if you change your mind?”
“Did you come up here to be Malcolm’s champion or is there another reason you’re in my bedchamber annoying me?”
“Answer me a question, Phin. Why aren’t you going out today? Why didn’t you go out yesterday?”
Phin turned and looked at Everett who could see the pain in Phin’s eyes. “There is nothing out there for me. I can get anything I need right here. Don’t try to talk me out of it. There is no place I need to be.”
Everett sighed and looked at Phin. “Fair enough. Can you do me a favour?”
Phin gave Everett a wary look. “What is it?”
“Can you let Malcolm shave you? The man looks like he’s going to have a nervous breakdown.”
Phin looked at Everett curiously. “Why is it so important to you?”
Everett shrugged. “You’re usually so good to your staff. Let them do the jobs they were hired to do. To be the valet for a Duke is a position this man takes pride in.”
Phin threw up his hands. “Do I run them, or do they run me?”
Everett rose and placed a hand on Phin’s shoulder, squeezing it with a hand, “Both, my dear friend, both.”
When Mary brought the tea to him, Phin asked her to send Malcolm to see him. She bobbed with a large smile on her face. When she left, Phin rolled his eyes. They must all be consoling poor Malcolm.
A smiling Malcolm came in and went straight to his valet closet, gathering everything he needed. Phin noted with amusement that Malcolm didn’t say a word, no doubt frightened of breaking the spell and being sent away.
Phin walked into the study a short time later, shutting the door behind him. He sat in front of the fire and studied his situation yet again. A terrible rumour about closing Bennett’s accounts and being disowned, so close to the truth, it defied correcting.
A family member, Elizabeth, who would spread rumours made to seem legitimate because of the source. The journal that may or may not exist which may or may not help the situation.
The woman he wanted to marry, who would not receive him because of the rumours. Phin had to give her credit. At least she believed in him, with all the uncertainties swirling around London, he knew that to be true.
What did all of this say about him? Except for his closest friends, London would never miss him. He’d only been home a short time. He didn’t matter.
Phin kicked around his townhouse most of the day feeling his energy slowly returning. He knew people drained his energy and stress drained his energy. At least eliminating people helped him manage the stress. If only his family knew what strength he gained by being alone, they wouldn’t object so much.
***
Everett came into the parlour for his morning with Mercy, both of them breaking their fast.
“He didn’t eat with us, but the tray cook sent him showed signs of being nibbled. He mostly spends his time in the library. He’s no conversationalist. At least, before he would talk to us. Why did this happen?”
Everett drew his lips into a hard line. “You know he likes to retreat. I think this is so painful for him; he’s taking retreating to a whole new level. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense.”
“Well, you and he are attached at the hip, what you going to do?” Mercy said.
Everett gave Mercy a small smile. “I’m going to bring up France and tell him he has to go. He likes France. It will be good to put some distance between Charlotte and him. Maybe, by the time he returns, his mood will have improved, and we will have the old Phin back. Or maybe things will have improved here, and he won’t feel as if the rumours are running his life.”
“Have you told him about the wedding?” Mercy asked.
“That’s another reason he needs to leave for France right away. To get back here in time.”
“Everett, are we going to be able to leave him while going on a honeymoon for six weeks?”
“It’s four weeks, Mercy. We’re going to see what happens. If we have to wait on going for a month later, we will.
Chapter 25
Everett a
sked Foster where Phin happened to be.
“In the library, Your Grace,” he said.
Everett gave a nod and headed down the hall. He let himself in, seeing Phin standing at the window watching the overcast sky.
“Hello, Everett,” Phin said without turning, knowing full well Everett was the only person who didn’t bother knocking before entering one of his rooms. Even Silas and Mercy gave a cursory knock before entering. “Have you come to check up on me?”