by Jill Shalvis
“You can do this for me. I know you can.”
“Shit,” he said again, but reached for his pen and a pad.
Jake paced around on the ranch, unsettled and unhappy. When Joe called, Jake didn’t feel like talking. “I’m sorry, Joe, but it’s a bad time—”
“I know. Just listen, you got to hear this.” Joe sounded jubilant. “We just found out Billy has a fascination with fire, a fascination that predates you. In fact, over the past two years, the kid started no less than three fires at his school. Can you believe it? No way will any case against you or the department or anyone stand up to that. Celebrate, man, cuz it’s over.”
Jake stared at the phone. “Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
Jake didn’t quite know what to do with himself after that. He pocketed his cell phone and paced around some more. He wanted to be excited, but he also wanted to share it with someone. With Callie. But two hours later, she was still gone.
She’d called in and talked to Amy, saying she wasn’t going to be back in time to do the meet and greet for the new guests, or even the afternoon ride, but the crew would show Amy what to do.
Amy had looked so proud to be given this job that Jake had to swallow his frustration when Amy had hung up without finding out where Callie was.
And why she couldn’t come back.
And why she’d taken the Jeep for a ride, instead of Sierra. He managed not to hassle Amy, but he didn’t have to be so gentle with his own brother. Jake grabbed Tucker and pulled him aside. “Where the hell is she?”
Tucker didn’t speak for a moment, and when he did, his voice was utterly void of the derision and sarcasm Jake expected. “She’s probably upset, and doesn’t want to upset us. She’ll stay away until she has it together.”
Jake stared at him, searching for any sign that Tucker was lying, that maybe he really knew where Callie was, but his words sank in, as well as his sincerity. “Damn it.”
Tucker actually looked sympathetic. “She’ll be okay.”
Yeah, but would he? “She’s got guests coming.”
“I know.” Tucker scratched his jaw. “She’s never missed a meet and greet before, not even after Richard died.”
But she missed this one, and as he pitched in and helped, working with the entire crew, he realized how much he’d learned over the past two months. He knew how to coax the guests into enjoying themselves, he knew what and how much to feed each of the animals. It was all second nature.
Now he stood in the corral with Stone, Eddie, and Tucker, getting the horses ready for an afternoon ride with the guests. At two o’clock on the dot, Eddie and Tucker both looked at their watches, then patted Stone on the back.
Jake looked between them, confused, and Eddie said proudly, “He’s gone two weeks without a drink.”
Stone nodded. “Fourteen days.”
“That’s…” Tucker stopped to count. “Over three hundred hours.”
“Three hundred thirty-six,” Stone corrected, and snagging his arm around Eddie’s neck, kissed him noisily on the cheek.
Eddie swiped at the spot with the back of his hand. “What was that for?”
“For being my brother.” Stone grinned. “Love you, man. Love you all.”
“Jesus, you sure you’re not drinking?”
“Tell me you love me back,” Stone said with a grin.
“Shut up.”
“Come on, tell me.” Stone made kissy face noises near his brother’s ear until finally, laughing, Eddie shoved him away. “Fine, you idiot. I love you. Now you’d better remember that cuz I’m not going to repeat it.”
Tucker laughed, too. “You’ll repeat it, soon as you need to borrow some money.”
Jake smiled, but, damn, he’d really wanted this place to be nothing more than a plot of dry land filled with a bunch of animals that ate too much, and a big house that drained him dry.
But there was more, so much more. A family lived and breathed here, a family and a group of people he cared about deeply. While he stood there absorbing that, his cell phone rang. “Jake,” his real estate agent said, “you have another offer. A bigger one.” When she rattled off the terms, he stood there, dazzled and stunned. “Jake? All it takes is a yes from you and I’ll get the paperwork going.”
Eddie and Stone were now helping two of the guests get on horseback. Everyone was laughing, taking pictures. Tucker showed yet another guest how to put on a bridle. Marge and Lou were handing out hats and gloves. Amy had come out, too, and sat on the fence watching, smiling. Smiling.
“Jake? You there?” came his agent’s voice.
This place had come to mean more to him than he could have ever dreamed, and if he felt that way after only six weeks, he could only imagine what Callie and these guys all felt after spending years here. This was their home, their life. “I’m sorry,” he said into the phone. “Turn the offers down. Both of them.”
Callie sat staring at Matt in shock. She was still in his office. She’d planted herself there, refusing to leave until he secured her the loan she wanted, and then called Jake’s Realtor on her behalf to make the offer. “What did you just say?”
“I’m sorry, Cal. He turned down the offer.”
“Why?”
“The agent said the ranch was already sold.”
“He really did take that other offer.” She dropped her head into her hands. “How could he?”
“He can do whatever he wants. It’s his place. Look, you gave it your best shot, but it’s over. Fini. The end.”
Stunned, she shook her head. “It…can’t be.”
“Maybe you should have let me tell him who was making the offer.”
“I told you, I didn’t want him to know it was me, because I wanted to do this fair and square. Without emotional debts or attachments.”
Matt sighed. “You and I both know it’s far too late for that. If he’s in your life, you’re attached. Just as you’re attached to that godforsaken piece of land, and all the people on it. Everyone knows this about you, baby, so it’s time for you to admit it. You leap with your heart, and just let your brain along for the ride.”
She stared at him, horrified to find her eyes filled with tears.
“No.” He shook his head and pointed at her. “Don’t do that. Shit,” he said when she didn’t—couldn’t—stop, and thrust a box of tissues at her. “Christ, dry up, would ya? You didn’t even cry when I screwed around on you.”
“Shut up, Matt.” She blew her nose. Sighed. Leaned back and studied his ceiling.
Matt came around his desk and sat next to her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s too late for tears now.”
She sniffed. “I know.”
“Good.” He snatched his tissues back. “You should also know, my emotional debt to you is now paid in full.”
“Yeah.” She sniffed. “Hope I didn’t put you out.”
“Hey, can this be about me now? My entire life is falling apart, and you’ve taken up hours of my time.” He sighed. “What do you think the chances are that people won’t notice that my partner is a raving lunatic?”
Amy stood in the kitchen creating dinner. Thick, meaty sandwiches on bread she’d baked earlier, with a side of fresh coleslaw. She was humming to herself and having a good time when Tucker came into the kitchen.
He walked right up to her, pulled her away from the counter, and turned her to face him.
She held a knife in one hand, a celery stalk in the other. She took in his expression, which was tense and grim, and felt her stomach drop. “What is it?”
“I’m going to kiss you,” he said.
The breath shuddered out of her lungs, and it wasn’t fear or revulsion that did it, but sheer shock, and…a trembly sort of anticipation so foreign it took her a moment to recognize it for what it was.
“I know you don’t like to be surprised,” he said. “So I thought I’d warn you.” His head lowered slowly, his eyes steady on hers. “Ready?” he whi
spered.
Her entire body quivered it was so ready. “I think so.”
“Good.” Then his warm lips were on hers, warm and easy. The knife and celery clattered to the floor.
Tucker pulled back, his eyes darker now, his mouth just a little wet—from hers, she thought with surprise. And something else surprised her, too. He looked a lot less grim. She’d done that for him, and the power of that was an incredible rush. Suddenly she wanted to kiss him again and erase the rest of the tension from his body. “So what was that for?” she asked unevenly.
“For trusting me with you last night.”
She stared at him. “I think I’d trust you with anything.”
“Good, because you can.” Gently he pulled her into him for a hug. A hug. Her eyes burned. Her hands didn’t hover this time, but touched his shoulders.
“Mmm,” rumbled from his chest. “Love your hands on me. I trust you, too, you know. With anything. Even my heart. Which you have by the way. In the palm of your hand.”
She concentrated on dragging air into her lungs; not easy. “What do you mean?”
“I love you.”
Nope, breathing was impossible. “Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke?”
“No joke.” He touched her face. “It’s a gift, freely given. You just sit on it a while, see how it fits.” Then he kissed her again and walked toward the door.
She stared at his back. “Where are you going?”
“Taking the guests on a ride.”
She put her hand to her lips, still tingling from his touch. He loved her.
He wanted her to get used to that.
She smiled. She thought maybe she could.
24
Callie made the drive from Three Rocks to the Blue Flame on autopilot, numb to the core.
She had no one to blame but herself. If she’d told Jake from the beginning she wanted to buy the ranch, if she’d swallowed her pride sooner and gone to Matt a month ago…
She could go over the reasons and excuses until the cows came home, it didn’t matter. The ranch wasn’t hers. It never would be.
When she pulled up the driveway, she could see that most of the horses were gone, which meant that Eddie, Stone, and Tucker had the new guests out.
Good. She could have this out with Jake in privacy. And they were going to have it out. Because though this was her own fault, she was pissed. He couldn’t have waited one hour to accept that offer? Gathering more and more righteous indignation as she went, she searched for him, hoping he hadn’t gone riding, too. He wasn’t in his cabin, nor the big house. To her shock, she found him in the barn brushing Moe. She stared at him in confusion. “What are you doing? You hate that horse.”
At the sound of her voice, he jerked around. “Jesus, where have you been? I’ve been going out of my mind.”
“Really? Why?”
He came out of the stall and toward her. “Why?”
“Yes.” Stepping back out of his reach, she crossed her arms. “I would have thought you had plenty to do around here without wondering where I’d run off to, what with selling the ranch and all.”
He looked confused. “Who told you I sold the ranch?”
“You did.”
“I told you I had an offer.”
“Don’t play games with me, Jake. You sold the place. It’s over. When do you leave?”
“Callie—”
“When do you leave?”
“Sunday.”
My God. Sunday. Just three days away.…The air escaped her lungs, and to her horror, she felt her eyes fill. “Fine. Great.” She turned away, but then whipped back toward him. “I can’t believe it, I just can’t. You couldn’t wait one more hour. I guess not, seeing how desperate you’ve been to get away from here. All the wide open space and country lifestyle was just dragging you down, right? The lack of nightlife, the lack of women—”
“Callie, I didn’t sell the ranch.”
“Then maybe you could tell me why the hell I swallowed all my pride and went to Matt, begged him for a loan, and you still turned down my offer?”
Jake looked shocked. “You went to Matt for a loan? So you were the second offer? The one that came through a couple of hours ago?”
“And all I had to do was relive his transgressions one by one, watch him squirm, and remember how it felt to have my heart sliced in two. Not too much humiliation, really, when I compare it to this.” She laughed harshly, swiped at her eyes, and turned in a slow circle in the barn she’d imagined as hers. “You never wanted this place, or all that went with it, and I understood that. But to come so close, so damn close—”
“Callie, I didn’t sell. In fact”—he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and thrust it at her—“I was busy this afternoon myself.”
She stared at him. “What’s this?”
“Read it.”
She did, and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. “A quitclaim deed?”
“In your name.”
“You’re”—lifting her head, she stared at him—“giving this place to me?”
“Yeah. Good luck with it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and offered a smile.
She let out a baffled laugh. “You can’t just give me the ranch.”
“Look, the lawsuits are all going to be dropped. I’m not going to be swept through the gutters financially like I thought.”
“The suit was dropped?”
“Yeah. I’m going to be okay.”
“Oh, Jake.” She put a hand to her aching heart. “Oh my God, I’m so glad. So you can keep the ranch now.”
“I’ve got to get back to San Diego, you know that.” He strode up to Moe. “You let me brush you,” he said to the horse. “You damn stubborn animal. Now I’m riding you. Do you hear me? I’m riding you once before I leave. Don’t kill me.” He grabbed the reins and mounted, and rode past Callie and right out of the barn.
“Damn it.” Callie saddled up Sierra. By the time she rode out into the early evening, both Jake and Moe were long gone. But she figured she knew Jake far better than she’d ever intended to. He was saying goodbye, and there was only one place for that. Urging Sierra into a gallop, she headed toward Richard’s Peak.
When she got to the top of the canyon, near the rock formation where they’d scattered Richard’s ashes, the wind ripped right through her. She turned a little to the west, and against a slowly sinking sun, she saw the stone they’d marked for Richard. Jake stood before it, his back to her as he stared down at the stone, the valley sprawled out in front of him. The wind plastered his shirt to him, ruffled his hair. Moe was tied to a tree, far enough away that he couldn’t take a bite out of Jake.
Callie dismounted Sierra and came close.
“I thought I might feel Richard here,” Jake said without looking at her. “I thought maybe the answers would be here.” Hunkering down, he brushed some dirt off the stone. “I keep wondering how this all happened, how he could have let my entire childhood go by without bringing me here even once. Maybe if he had, I would have seen—” He ran his fingers over his father’s name on the stone. “I just don’t get it. How could he so easily accept the rebuke of a twelve-year-old, without ever trying again?”
Her anger drained. Heart aching, she moved closer. “I don’t know.”
“I just threw the firefighting thing at him because my ego was hurting, and after his reaction, it stuck with me. Good thing I loved it, huh?”
“Jake—”
He shook his head. “At the end, when he had his will drawn, do you think he remembered he hadn’t spoken to me in years? And if he did, then why the hell did he leave me everything he owned?” He let out a disparaging sound. “So many damn questions, and not a single answer.”
He surged back to his feet. “I don’t know what I expected. Maybe the answers to leap out at me?” He shook his head. “But the only thing up here is the setting sun, and”—he looked at her—“an odd sense that it’s okay. It’s okay because in spite of everything
, he did the best he could. And in the end, just like in the beginning, this was all he had to give me.”
“It’s a hell of a lot,” she said quietly.
“Far more than I knew. He gave me everything. Everything,” he said softly, and took her hand, turning them both so they could look out into the valley together. “I don’t want to fight with you, Callie.”
“That’s too bad, because we have one good one left.” She pulled the deed out of her back pocket, then ripped it in half, slapping the two halves against his chest. “I want to buy this place from you, Jake. Not have it handed to me.”
“You never take the easy route, do you.”
“Not often.”
He looked so confused. “I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you the ranch.”
“No.”
“What do you want from me, Callie?”
“To hear what’s going on.” She put her palm over his heart. “In here.”
“Isn’t trying to give you a half million dollar property a big enough statement?”
“I see you with your brother, and there’s such longing in your face. Do you ever tell him? I see you brushing your father’s horse even when it would bite you on the ass if it could, and still, you keep trying with the stubborn thing. I see you look at me, and I’ve got to tell you, Jake, there’s so much in one look that you take my breath, but you don’t say anything. When we’re in bed at night, our bodies sing together, and I…” She closed her eyes and felt a dreamy smile cross her lips. “I’ve never felt happier.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “But you never say a word about how you feel about us.”
“I’m leaving—”
“Yes, I know. But as you’ve said, there are planes. Cars. Phones. E-mail.” She touched his face, wanting so badly to reach him. “I just want to hear what you’re feeling,” she said again, more softly, and held her breath. “About the ranch, the people in it. Me.”
He looked at her, then closed his eyes. “I remember what it was like to have Tucker in my life. I mean really in my life. God, I miss that. And that damn ornery horse over there, my father’s horse…looking at him I feel such regret that it’s like a stab in my chest.” She still had her hand over his heart, and he covered it with his. “How am I doing?”