by Laura Martin
‘I’m taking you somewhere very special,’ Edward said with a small smile.
He led her down a grassy path, surrounded on both sides by overgrown, tangled bushes. Up ahead a mossy stone wall came into view, leading off in both directions for a few hundred yards.
‘Come this way,’ Edward said, pulling her off the path into a narrow gap between the bushes and into the long grass. Amelia could feel the skirts of her dress being dragged behind her by the undergrowth and at one point Edward had to stop to lift her over a particularly large fallen tree stump.
Eventually they met up with the mossy wall and Edward traced his hands along it as if searching for something. Amelia watched in amazement as he gripped an almost invisible knob, turned it and opened a concealed door.
Feeling as though she were stepping into some magical hidden kingdom, Amelia crossed the threshold into the secret garden and gasped in pleasure. Although it had obviously been neglected over the past few years the garden was beautiful, maybe even more so for the slightly wild air it had about it. The long grass was dotted with wild flowers, drawing the eye to a multi-coloured carpet stretching out before them. Tall trees were positioned around the edge of the garden and from one hung a wide rope swing. Amelia felt as though she wanted to sink into the long grass and never leave.
Edward closed the door behind them and caught up with her, taking her by the hand and leading her further into the garden.
‘My grandfather built this for my grandmother,’ he said quietly as he watched Amelia take in all the details.
A small white butterfly fluttered past and settled on a large daisy for a moment before continuing with its journey.
‘How lovely.’
‘They were very much in love. In a time when nearly all marriages were arranged they rebelled and married each other despite a big difference in social status.’
‘Tell me their story,’ Amelia said as they strolled arm in arm through the garden. She wanted to hear something positive now, something that would remind her of all the good in the world.
‘My grandfather was titled and heir to the estate. When he was of an appropriate age his parents arranged a match with a local landowner’s daughter. Their family were rich and her dowry would help to maintain the estate for years to come.’
‘But your grandfather didn’t agree to the marriage?’
‘At first he protested quietly, refused to set a date for the wedding despite his parents’ urging. And then he met my grandmother. She was a farmer’s daughter, totally inappropriate for a man like him, of course, but they fell madly and irrevocably in love.’
Amelia felt herself smile at the thought of Edward’s grandparents holding out for love despite societal pressures trying to force them apart. Maybe there was hope for everyone, if they were just strong enough.
‘My grandfather informed his parents he was going to marry my grandmother. Of course they were livid, threatened to cut him off and disinherit him, but my grandfather stuck firm. For years he and my grandmother lived in exile from the family home. My grandfather worked as an estate manager for one of the local estates and they lived a simple but happy life.’
‘What happened?’
‘In the end his parents realised it was only them losing out. They wanted to see their son and their grandchildren and so they made an approach and slowly my grandparents were welcomed back into the family.’
‘And your grandparents never regretted marrying for love?’
Edward shook his head.
‘My grandfather built this garden for my grandmother when they were in their sixties, just a few years before they both passed away. I can remember being a small boy and watching them walk hand in hand as if they were courting. They loved each other for forty years.’
‘That’s a beautiful story,’ Amelia said.
She wanted love like that. Amelia glanced at Edward and wondered if he was thinking of his late wife, wishing it were her he was bringing into the secret garden.
Edward laid out the blanket on the long grass in the sunshine and sat down beside Amelia.
‘I need to tell you something,’ he said in a serious tone.
Amelia turned her attention to him, pulling back from the self-pity she was wallowing in.
‘You asked me why I was doing all this for you, protecting you and sheltering you,’ he said quietly. ‘You deserve an answer to that question, but I find it difficult to articulate sometimes.’
Amelia smiled encouragingly at him, her heart pounding in her chest. She could sense this was a monumental moment in their relationship and a small, excitable part of her dared to hope.
‘Before you came into my life I was a husk of a man. I was overcome by grief, consumed by thoughts of the past. It wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t any way to live.’ He looked at her as he spoke and Amelia could sense his sincerity and emotion. ‘Many times in the past few years I’ve wondered if there was any point continuing with life, but last week on the beach when I was at a real risk of drowning I found myself desperate to be alive.’
He paused, staring off into the distance as if unsure how to continue. Amelia hesitantly reached out and placed her hand on top of his.
‘I found myself wanting to restore the house and restore my life, to actually move forward instead of doing only the bare minimum to survive. I found myself wanting to spend more time with you.’
Amelia felt that small glimmer of hope start to swell and build inside her. She knew she cared for Edward, maybe more than she rightly should. He’d rescued her, kept her safe and welcomed her into his home and his life. In return Amelia had slowly and absolutely fallen in love with this gruff, gentle man, despite knowing she would never be the sort of woman he deserved. For weeks she’d been devastated by that realisation and the knowledge that he was still in mourning and might never love her back, but now maybe that was about to change.
‘I miss my late wife and my son very much,’ he said and Amelia saw the emotion on his face as he worked through the pain of remembering, ‘And I don’t think I will ever stop loving them.’
With those words Amelia felt all of her hopes crash to the ground. It must have shown on her face as Edward reached out for her hand and squeezed it tight.
‘Listen to me, Amelia,’ he said softly. ‘Let me finish.’
She nodded, forcing herself to rein in all the negative thoughts and focus on what Edward was saying.
‘I love my late wife and son just as I love my parents and my grandparents. They will always be part of my life, part of me. I will never forget and there will always be a place in my heart for them.’
Amelia nodded. In truth she couldn’t expect anything less. Edward was a good man, of course he wouldn’t abandon his love for his late wife and son just because someone new came along.
‘For a long time I thought a man only got one chance in this life. One chance to live, one chance at caring for another.’ He paused, looking deep into Amelia’s eyes. ‘I think now that I was wrong.’
She held her breath, hoping he would say the words, hoping he was going in the direction she thought he was.
‘I care for you, Amelia, you’ve been the only person to stir me from my grief in the last three years and I find myself unable to stop thinking about you when you’re not close. I think you were the reason I fought so hard on the beach to stay alive and I think you are the reason I have finally accepted I need to move forward with my life.’
It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was more than she had ever dreamed possible. He cared for her, the man she loved cared for her. Part of her cried out for love in return, but the sensible portion of her brain suppressed the thought. It shouldn’t matter Edward hadn’t declared his love, it was enough he wanted to see what might happen between them.
‘I need you to know I can’t forget my past,’ he sa
id, searching her face for a reaction.
‘I wouldn’t ever want you to,’ Amelia said.
It was part of what she loved about him. He was a truly caring and loving man.
‘I know I could never mean as much as Jane did to you, but—’
Edward shook his head, interrupting her as she spoke.
‘Jane was a friend, a treasured friend, from childhood. We played together and grew up together and somewhere along the line the great regard I held her in turned into something more.’
‘I think it is wonderful you grew to love each other,’ Amelia said quietly.
Edward gripped her hand firmly, ‘I’m not explaining myself very well,’ he said. ‘For a while I thought a man was only lucky enough to care for someone with every ounce of their being once, that I’d had my chance and I’d lost it. Now I see my thinking was completely wrong.’
Amelia felt her heart start hammering in her chest. Was this when he told her he loved her, that theirs would be an everlasting love?
‘I cared for Jane the way I cared for my parents. She was kind and warm-hearted and had always been part of my life. But you, Amelia, you light this fire inside me. You make me want to shout and laugh all at the same time. I’ve never felt this depth of emotion before, this sort of connection.’
Amelia found herself grinning like a mad woman and threw her arms around Edward’s neck. He might not have said the words, but Amelia could see the sincerity and emotion in his eyes. He loved her, even if he hadn’t realised it himself yet.
‘But I need you to remember I can’t promise you anything right now, we need to take things slowly,’ he said softly.
Amelia ran her fingers over his jawline and smiled. ‘Just knowing you’re giving us a chance is enough.’
She knew he was trying to temper the excitement that he must be able to see burning in her eyes. Edward was a good man, he wouldn’t ever dream of building her hopes only to dash them on purpose, but he would be worried about his grief and guilt returning and sabotaging anything they built between them. All the more reason to take things slowly and allow him time to adjust, but already Amelia could feel herself getting carried away with dreams of a happy ending for herself and Edward.
Slowly he shifted position, sitting up so his body was close to hers. Amelia felt herself shudder with anticipation, knowing it was only a matter of time before he kissed her and losing herself in the desire she could see in his eyes.
‘I think we should see if we’re compatible,’ Edward murmured, inching closer.
Amelia couldn’t answer, but eventually managed a small, jerky, nod. Already her heart was racing and her body begging to be touched.
‘Our kiss on the beach was very enjoyable,’ Edward said, his voice low and seductive, ‘but I think we need to repeat it to ensure nothing has changed.’
Slowly he raised a hand and traced his fingers over her cheek, before lacing them through her hair. Gently but firmly he pulled her towards him, claiming her lips with his own. Amelia felt herself lose control of her body as Edward expertly teased and tickled her with his lips and tongue.
She couldn’t suppress a groan as he pulled away, but the loss of contact was for a mere few seconds as he regarded her with lust-filled eyes. It was almost inconceivable for Amelia that she was the source of such desire from the man she loved, but had never even dreamed could want her back, and she felt truly happy for the first time in years.
He whispered her name into her ear as he caught the lobe between his teeth and nibbled gently. Amelia gasped as he darted his tongue out to taste her skin, murmuring how sweet she was, how he wanted to kiss her all over. Amelia had been kissed before, but never like this. Never had her body responded so instinctively, never had she felt so out of control, so overwhelmed.
Something inside her was swelling and building, an uncontrollable desire for the man in front of her. She wanted him to lay her down and kiss every inch of her skin, she wanted to touch every part of him, to explore his body for hours on end.
Slowly, Edward pulled away.
‘We’re compatible,’ he said gruffly, shifting a little uncomfortably.
Amelia immediately tensed, wondering if she had done something wrong. Edward must have caught her worried expression and reached out to pull her closer to him.
‘You deserve more than a hurried fumble in the grass,’ Edward said with a pained smile. ‘If I kiss you for another second then I may not be able to control myself.’
With her heart soaring Amelia dipped her head and kissed the man she loved, giggling as he groaned as she pressed her body against his.
Chapter Twenty-One
Edward felt the warm glow of contentment as he lay in the long grass with Amelia in his arms. Lazily he traced a pattern on her back, stopping to pepper the silky skin with kisses every now and then.
After a few minutes Amelia rolled over so they were face to face. He couldn’t help but smile. In this moment everything felt right in the world. He couldn’t believe just two months ago he’d never wanted to see another human again. He’d been shut away in Beechwood Manor, spiralling into a never-ending whirlpool of grief and sadness and guilt.
‘Lay right there,’ he instructed Amelia as he sat up. The sunlight was bathing her in a warm glow and, with her hair cascading over her shoulders and her skin still pink and warm from their intimacy, Edward knew he had to draw her.
She looked at him questioningly as he took out his pencils and paper, but he gave her a smile of reassurance.
‘Edward?’
‘You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now,’ he said. ‘Let me draw you. I want to capture this moment for ever.’
He wondered if she might protest. Most women would laugh nervously and then refuse, but after a moment’s contemplation Amelia rested her head back on her hand and relaxed.
‘I just need to alter one or two things,’ Edward said.
Gently he gripped the neckline of her dress and tugged until the material was off her shoulders, leaving the caramel-coloured skin exposed. She looked irresistible.
With long pencil strokes he sketched, tracing her contours and capturing her essence. As he drew he found his eyes roaming over her body, taking in her gentle curves and her perfectly proportioned features. He couldn’t quite believe a woman like Amelia could want to be with him. She was young and beautiful, and if she were introduced into society she would surely be the belle of the debutantes, but here she was with him, a man with a complicated past and more unresolved emotion than most of her possible suitors would have put together.
‘What happens now, Edward?’ Amelia asked as he began to add the finer details to his drawing.
‘Now? Now I think I need to kiss you again.’
She giggled as he pounced on top of her, kissing her long and hard. Leisurely they explored each other with hands and lips, and Edward felt as though they had all the time in the world. He wanted this afternoon never to end. Here in the secret garden it felt like a little slice of paradise just for them.
‘You never answered my question,’ Amelia said, resting her head on his chest.
‘For now we need to focus on keeping you safe,’ Edward said, brushing her hair back from her face and tucking it behind an ear. ‘I will not let McNair harm a single hair on your head or inch of your skin.’
Amelia nodded, but Edward could see already the fear was back in her eyes.
‘I don’t know what he wants,’ she said eventually.
‘He wants revenge. You’ve hurt his pride.’
‘Will he report me to the magistrate? Is that how he will punish me?’
Edward wished it might be as simple as all that. Given McNair’s less-than-pure reputation he had no doubt he could convince a magistrate to drop any charges against Amelia. No, he thought McNair would want
to exact a more personal revenge on her.
‘From what you have said, and from Mr Guthry’s report, I think he will prefer to take matters into his own hands,’ Edward said slowly. He didn’t want to scare Amelia, but he knew she had been through every option, every outcome, a hundred times in her head.
‘He wants to hurt me.’
Edward nodded.
‘I can’t see how this will end. What will make him stop?’
It had been a question Edward had been asking himself over the past twenty-four hours. He wondered if maybe he could pay the scoundrel off, bribe him to forget the whole matter. It seemed McNair was pretty money-orientated and maybe a large enough amount would convince the man to leave Amelia alone. The only downside to the plan was they could never be sure he wouldn’t come back once he’d spent the payoff and demand more.
That left a show of strength. Edward wasn’t a violent man, but some people only seemed to understand power and violence. He rather feared the only way to make McNair leave Amelia alone would be to make the man see she was protected by someone stronger than he was. Edward might not have had the army training that the Captain had benefitted from, but he had something worth fighting for, and that was why he was sure he would beat McNair if it came to that.
‘We’ll figure it out,’ Edward said, ‘but for now just remember he can’t get anywhere near you, not whilst you’re here with me.’
Amelia leaned across and kissed him, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so.
* * *
Amelia felt as though she were walking through the air, bouncing easily from fluffy cloud to fluffy cloud. The memory of Edward’s kisses were imprinted in her mind and she could see by the look in his eye that he cared for her. Amelia couldn’t quite believe it was true. Ever since discovering McNair’s betrayal she knew her confidence had been dented. Nevertheless, all of her worries and insecurities seemed to melt away when Edward was by her side and even if the future was a little uncertain, she knew that as long as she was with Edward everything would work out just fine.