by Carian Cole
“The toy made you nervous?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
He lets out a little laugh. “Trust me, Evie. You’re going to love that thing so much that I’m going to have to hide it from you.”
“I really doubt that.”
“Before we get into all that, tell me how your day was.”
“Boring. I hate Monday’s and Jack accused me of being unfocused.”
“Are you? Your mind does tend to wander.”
“Yes. How can I focus on work when you’re sending sex toys to my desk?”
“Well, I didn’t want to send it to your house. I figured your office was safer.”
“Good call,” I admit. “Where are you right now?”
“In a hotel room somewhere in Colorado.”
“Alone?”
“Yes, alone. I told you I wouldn’t be with any women, didn’t I?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Yes... I thought maybe one of your brothers shared a room with you.”
“We’re not twelve, Evelyn. We all get our own rooms like big people. Some of the guys have girlfriends or women they bring with them sometimes. Or groupies. That sort of shit.”
I don’t want to think about that. I hope Juggsy has her own room on the other side of the hotel. Or the other side of the continent would be even better.
“Maybe next time you’ll come with me?”
Go on tour with him? With Ashes and Embers? Is he high?
“Storm, I don’t think I could ever do that. I have a job and... I’m just not the groupie type.”
He coughs. “A groupie? You’re not a fuckin’ groupie, Evie. You’d be my girlfriend.”
I play the word over in my head. Again and again and again. My girlfriend.
“We’ll talk about that another time,” he says. “Tonight we have fun. Are you in bed?”
“Yes.”
“Describe your surroundings for me.”
“Um. It’s a room with a bed basically.”
I hear the tell-tale sound of him puffing on his e-cig and blowing the vapor out.
“Baby, let your mind go. Seduce me with words. Like this, I’ll go first. I’m lying in bed with the comforter thrown off to the side.” His voice is low, and he talks slowly, deliberately. Bringing me into his world. “I’m warm thinking about you, and I don’t want anything on top of me. The lights are off, but I have several candles lit, one next to the bed, one on the dresser in front of the mirror, one in the hallway. The room is glowing a soft amber. Right before I called you, I undressed, so I’m naked on the bed. My cock is already hard just thinking about you. I was turned on all fucking day thinking about you with that toy, imagining it in your hands. So much I wanted to jerk off, but I wanted to save it for you so I could hear your voice and your breathing in my ear when I come.”
Whoa. My core quivers and contracts just hearing those words and his sexy voice luring me in.
“I wish I was there.” My own voice is soft with lust, my breathing slightly faster and deeper.
“I do, too, baby. You have no idea. But for now, while we’re apart, I’m going to fuck you with my mind and my words, and you’re going to help me. Okay?”
“Okay... yes.”
I will say yes to anything you want. Just keep making me feel this way. Don’t stop the tingling butterflies.
“Have you ever played with sex toys before?”
“No... Never. I don’t understand the bunny.”
His laugh is sweet. “You are so damn adorable, Evie. I swear you fucking wreck me with your cute weirdness.”
Cute weirdness? No, please not the cute...
“I’m glad you’ve never done this stuff before. I want to be as many firsts for you as possible.”
I take a deep breath. “That’s going to be pretty easy, Storm. Considering, I’ve only slept with one guy, and we basically did nothing. I’ve never even given a blow job.”
I immediately regret saying that. Dammit! He’s going to think I’m a freak and run straight back to Juggsy.
“Wait, what?” He sounds shocked and confused.
“Let’s just forget I said that, okay?”
“No. No fucking way are you back peddling from this one. Are you serious, baby?”
I feel myself shrinking. I am a loser freak.
“Yes, okay? I’m a sexual loser, I know. And we all laughed. Thanks.”
“Evie, I ain’t laughing.” His voice has turned dark, sensually serious. “Do you know how much that turns me on? You’re practically a virgin.”
“Storm...”
“Don’t worry, baby, I’m going to show you everything. I’m going to make every part of you mine.” He pauses like he’s catching his breath. “I can’t wait to touch every inch of you. Fuck. I want to fly back there right now and just get my hands on you. This is killing me.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I know. But I fucking want to so bad. I’m going to teach you how to suck me, and you’re going to completely shatter me with those eyes of yours while you’re doing it. You really have no idea the power you have over me, Evie. It scares the shit out of me.”
My heart lurches at his words, the depth in which he says them.
“I wouldn’t hurt you, Storm. I don’t want any power.”
“That’s good, baby, because I intend on taking it away. Are you naked in bed right now?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
I take a deep, trembling breath. “I have a light comforter over me, up to my waist. I have one of the pillows propped up against the headboard, and I’m leaning against it. The lights are off, but the TV is on. The toy is lying on the bed next to me.”
“I want you to do what I tell you to do, okay? Will you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl. I want you to touch yourself, slide your finger over your lips and tell me if you’re wet.”
I slowly follow his direction, transfixed by his voice.
“Yes, I am,” I tell him.
“Pick up the toy and spread the lube over it.”
I do as he says. “This thing is huge,” I whisper.
“Is it bigger than his?”
“Um, yeah. Quite a bit. I don’t think this will fit in me.” I think I need size S.
“It better, because it’s smaller than me.”
Holy shit!
“Jesus, Storm...”
He’s breathing heavier. I think he’s stroking his cock as we’re talking. I wish I could see him, touch him.
“Are you touching yourself?” I whisper.
“Yes, I’m so fucking hard for you right now. Will you take the toy and rub it against your clit?”
“Yes... lemme just try to do this without dropping the phone. You could have gotten a smaller one...”
“Baby, you are such little train wreck.”
“I’m sorry...”
This will never work. He’s used to professional sluts who know how to suck him like a shop vac in a flood, and know how to work this vibrating rabbit. I am clumsy and completely sexually incompetent.
“Don’t be sorry, Evie. You’re exactly what I need. You frustrate the hell out of me, but I love it more and more every day.”
“I’m a mess... you’re right...” I feel like I’m going to cry. I can’t even do phone sex right. There is no way I will be able to keep a guy like him satisfied.
“You’re going to be my mess. Now cut the shit. I can’t take this anymore. I want you to take the toy and rub yourself with the tip of it.”
“Should I turn it on?”
“Not yet. Just lay back and listen to me. Stop thinking.”
I tentatively rub the tip of the vibrator against me.
“Now slowly push it in just a tiny bit.” I do. I can feel myself getting wetter. I feel naughty.
“Turn it on and put the bunny ears right over your clit.”
I do that, and the little buzzing ears vibrate a million thousand times on my already qui
vering bud.
Holy shit! Where has this thing been my whole life?
“Oh, wow...” I say breathlessly.
“It’s nice, huh? I wish that was my tongue licking you but for now this will have to do.”
I press the little ears harder against me. “I loved when you licked me,” I tell him. “I never felt anything like that. Ever. It was even better than the hot tub.”
“You just wait, baby. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” His breathing is becoming heavier, faster as is mine. I can hear his hand on his flesh.
“I want you to slowly slide the vibrator into you, Evie. Keep the little ears pressed against you.”
“Okay...” I push the head of the toy inside myself, but it’s not going in easy. It’s wide and feels too big. I want it, though. I’m so turned on from the vibrating and knowing he is touching himself right now, thinking about me.
“It’s tight, Storm. I can barely push it in.”
“Fuck, baby. I want you to try to get more in. I want you to know what I’m going to feel like. Close your eyes and think about me, pretend that’s my cock, slowly ramming into you.”
Ramming.
I slowly push more of the toy inside me. I feel my insides spreading. It hurts, but I push a little further. The vibrating sensation is wild, making my entire body light up and want to be touched.
“Feel how I’m going to spread you open around my cock, Evie. Feel how deep I’m going to go into you.”
“Oh, God, Storm...”
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes... so good.”
“I’m going to come... I want you to with me. Can you?”
“Yes... please.” I push the toy in and out, faster and deeper. It hurts, but I don’t care. The pleasure is outweighing the pain. Envisioning Storm inside me takes all the pain away. I want him in me, just like this.
“Storm... now...” My words are gone, stolen by the orgasm that sweeps over my body. I hear his breath in my ear, gasping. He sounds so incredibly hot. I wish so badly I was there with him, my hand on his cock instead of his own.
We’re quiet for a few moments, basking in the wooziness of post-orgasm, listening to each other’s breathing.
I pull the toy out of me and turn it off. Shit. My body feels like Jell-O. Every orgasm I’ve had in Storm’s presence has been intense and exhausting.
“Thank you for doing that with me, Evie. That was sexy as hell.”
“No, thank you for sending me this thing.”
He laughs deeply. “Don’t enjoy it too much. I want you to need me to make you feel good.”
“Whoever invented this thing is a genius,” I say. “And don’t worry, I don’t think it can take your place.”
“It better not. Or else it will suffer my wrath.”
I giggle at him. “I wish you were here,” I tell him. “I looked at our picture at least a hundred times today.”
“I may have done that, too.”
I glance over at the clock. It’s getting late. I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to let him off the phone. I wish I could feel his arms wrapped around me again like he did in the truck.
“Evelyn, I really like you like this. Letting your walls down. I love hearing you laugh.”
“It’s hard, Storm. I feel guilty and like I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“I get that. I really do. But you’re not a bad person, Evie. And I know I’ve dragged you into a lot of situations you didn’t want to be in, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m not sorry for making you happy, and hopefully, getting the chance to make you even happier and getting you to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy life a bit more. Life’s too fucking short to be miserable.”
“I know...”
“Did you say you were on the pill?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Because when we make love, I don’t want to use anything. I just want to feel you.”
I’m not sure how I feel about that, knowing he’s been with so many women. “Storm... that makes me a little nervous.”
“You think I have a disease?”
I gulp. “Yes. You said you sleep around...”
“I always use protection. And I get tested every six months, just to be sure. I’m going to send you copies of my results.”
“Storm... you don’t have to do that—”
“Yes, I do. I want you to feel safe with me. It’s not a problem at all. I have digital records of everything. I’ll send it all to you so you can feel comfortable with me.”
I feel awful making him prove his sexual health status to me, but in all honesty, it will alleviate my worries.
“All right. I’m sorry, Storm. I hate to make you feel like that. I really do.”
“Evie, it’s totally normal. No worries at all, okay, baby?”
“I’m looking at apartments tomorrow night,” I tell him, wanting to change the subject. “I found three I might be able to swing.”
“I told you if you need money I will help you. There’s no reason for you to stress about that.”
“Storm, no. I need to do this on my own. I appreciate the offer, but I really need to just do this myself.”
He relents. “All right, babe. Just know the offer stands. You better go to sleep. I don’t want you playing with the bunny all night, okay?”
“I’ll try not to,” I tease.
We say our goodbyes and I fall asleep, mentally and physically exhausted.
Chapter Seventeen
Looking at apartments by myself has a bigger impact on me than I thought it would. At first, I thought of this just as an escape. A place to just stick my things in until... until what I’m not sure.
But now, actually looking at these apartments, I suddenly feel very independent. Strong. For the first time in my life, I’m doing something just for me, by myself. With no one’s direction, or help, or assistance. Apartment number three feels magical to me. It’s attached to an older couple’s large home but is completely separate from their house with its own entrance. The woman’s mother had lived there before she had to go into a nursing home. It has two bedrooms, a large bathroom, small kitchen, and large living room with a dining area off to the side. Both the master bedroom and the dining area have built in window seats—perfect for me to write in my journal and for Halo to sunbathe. The rooms have vaulted beamed ceilings and everything is decorated very soft and earthy with warm beige, corals and jades. It feels cozy and just... right. It’s still fully furnished with beautiful furniture that looks like it’s never been touched, and pretty artwork of flowers and hummingbirds hang on the walls. All the paintings have hummingbirds.
Jane, the owner, smiles when she sees me looking at the paintings. “My mother... she painted all of these when she was younger. She had a fascination with hummingbirds.”
“She’s very talented,” I exclaim. “They are all so beautiful. She really captured them. Who doesn’t love hummingbirds?”
She beams and then shows me the closets with built-in storage shelves and drawers, and proudly informs me the appliances are all under two years old. I love her. She is sweet and reminds me of my mother.
Standing in the living room, I know this is where I want to live. This is where I want to start my new life.
“I love it here. It’s perfect. I would love to live here if you approve.”
“May I ask is it just you who will be living here?”
“Yes... and my very elderly cat that is deaf. He’s very clean though, he doesn’t have any bad habits. I have a boyfriend who may stay occasionally, but he would not be living here permanently.”
“Oh, that would be no problem at all. I’m a cat lover myself. I have two. I like you, Evelyn. I think you would be a wonderful tenant. I’ve been rather picky about who I want to live here, as it’s attached to our home and everything here belonged to my mother. Sadly, she didn’t get to stay here long and couldn’t take any of it with her, so if you need it, all of the furniture could stay. We honestly have no us
e for it. I have four bedrooms in the house and they are already furnished, and we don’t need a living room set.”
“Jane, I don’t even know what to say. That would really help me so much. I don’t really have any furniture of my own. And I absolutely love all of this. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. I can pay you for it—”
She puts up her hands. “Absolutely not. I just ask that you take good care. I would love it all to be used and not wasted or out on the curb. I don’t have time to sell furniture. It’s been hard enough trying to find a tenant. If you’re interested, then it’s all yours.”
I nod, a big smile growing across my face. “Yes. I definitely want it. As soon as possible.”
I’m so excited about the apartment I call Storm as soon as I get in the car. Usually, I don’t just call him unexpectedly, but I can’t wait to share the news with him.
“Hey, baby. I was just thinking about you.” I can hear people talking and random guitar sounds in the background. They must be setting up for their show tonight.
“I have good news! I just found the best apartment ever! I can move in as soon as I want!”
“Holy shit, that’s awesome. Hang on a sec while I try to find a quieter place.”
I hear him shuffling around on the other end of the phone and the sounds of the guys fade.
“Okay, this is better. Sorry about that. I’m really excited for you.”
“I am, too. It’s just so cozy, and it’s in a safe place in a nice neighborhood.” I give him all the details about the furniture and the owners.
“It sounds terrific, Evie. Do you need any help moving? I won’t be back home for a few weeks, but I could send someone over. Lukas isn’t on this tour with us. I’m sure he’d help ya out, no problem.”
“I’ll be okay. I’m going to leave the furniture with Michael. I’ll just have my boxes and I can handle those by myself. Amy will give me a hand. I’m just so excited and nervous.”
“You’re gonna be fine, babe. I can’t wait to see it.”
“Really? Will you come over to see it when you get home?”
“Of course,” he says like I’m crazy. “Evie, if you leave Michael, I want to see you as much as possible. I thought you knew that.”
“I just...” I don’t know what to say. “I’m afraid you’re going to change your mind, or get bored. I don’t know what I think, Storm.”