by Ostle, J. L.
I smile. “Our parents had great love stories, but I bet there was so much drama along the way. No one has an easy life. I just hope I get mine. I finish college soon and then I will be working. The only chance I’ll find a guy is if he works with me or for me.” I shake my head.
Clarissa jumps up on the counter while I cook. “Yeah, tell me about it. I just hope someone hires me. That’s what I’m worried about right now. What if I do all this hard work and I end up in a dead-end job, earning peanuts, and my lover is Timmy the copy boy.”
I burst out laughing. “Timmy?” I laugh again. “I will not let that happen. If you don’t find your dream job, then come to me. I’ll give you one. We can be colleagues.” I prep the food.
“Can you do that? Hire me, that is?”
“It's my dad’s company. He is leaving it to me, so he can spend the rest of his years close to my mother. He doesn’t want to spend any more time away from her. So, if you want a job, I will give you one.”
She jumps down and pulls me in for a tight hug. “If you need my help to bring the trio down, just say the word. I am your go-to girl.”
I push her off me, tapping her hand. “You would be doing that anyway.” I chuckle. “But what are besties for, right?”
I get back to cooking and she sits back on the counter. “Do you think you will ever see your roommates once you move out?”
I stop what I’m doing for a moment. Will I?
“I don’t know. I guess we have to see how we are when it gets to that point.” I place the chicken in the oven. “I might have murdered them by then and you will have to find me a good lawyer and say I did it as I lost my sanity.”
“Yeah. This is only the second week and you’re already ready to kill each other.” She chuckles. “But what happened on Saturday though…” I start chopping up onions, my hands shaking a little. “If you didn’t live here, do you think anything would have happened with you and any of them?”
“Last week, I was hoping to be their friend. Well, apart from Devon’s. I don’t think he knows what it means to be a girl’s friend, but romantically?” I sigh. “I don’t think anything would have ever happened. They’re into what they’re into, and I guess I’m more vanilla.” I place the chopped onions and garlic into a bowl.
“You let two guys hold you as another felt you up in front of them. I think you are less vanilla than you think.”
I think back to the library. Anyone could have walked by and seen us.
Did I care? Not at that moment.
“My mom always said to try everything once. I used to believe that I would, but I guess some things really make you think if you would cross that line you live by.”
“Maybe lines are meant to be crossed. If those three looked at me the way they do you, and I knew they wanted me, I would probably try it.” She shrugs.
I look at her, smiling. “You would let them share you? You would have three penises inside you, one after the other?”
She thinks about it. “It would definitely be something I would always remember. College is a time and place to experiment.”
“Anyway…” I interrupt her. “They don’t look at me in a sexual way. They see me as the enemy.” Flashes of images cross my mind. Benjamin in the library. Zeal in the car. Their eyes on my legs in the cafeteria. “I think if they do see me in any way apart from the ones I’ve stated, all they see is a girl they can’t have. A challenge. Guys do love a challenge.” I grab the bottle of wine I bought, pouring two glasses as I wait for the chicken to cook.
We head to the living area, taking a seat. “So, what is your plan for tonight? You’re cooking for so many of them, but why?”
“They don’t like their friends getting to know me. So, if I cook for them, flirt with them all, it's going to drive them nuts. Then I’m going to accidentally spill water down my dress and I’ll come out only wearing a shirt and…” I stand up, running over to Zeal’s room, smiling at the pile of pink sheets in the corner.
I come back out, showing Clarissa what I’ve taken and quickly put it in my room before coming back joining her.
“Why have you got those?”
“I haven’t got any, so I’ll have to tell them that I had to make do with what was available.” I giggle, lifting the wine glass to my lips and taking a sip.
“You little minx.” She taps my hand. “I don’t think they’ll get annoyed, I think they will get jealous and protective.”
“They haven’t even known me a week. I doubt it’s that. I would hate it if they started being all over you, only because it would annoy me, and I would want to spray you with anti-bacterial spray to save you from their cooties.” I pretend to shiver.
“If you say so,” she sing-songs.
“I do.” I take another sip.
I’m placing plates and cutlery on the table when the door opens, and six guys walk through, talking. When they spot me, most of them walk towards me, and I’m surprised when some hug me or kiss my cheek.
They tell me the place smells amazing. I thank them and tell them all to take a seat. Clarissa grabs two jugs of water and a pitcher of Coke, placing it down and taking a seat. I hear her start to make small talk.
I’m placing the Bolognese in two dishes when I feel hands wrap around my middle. I jump then smile when I see it’s Benjamin. I stop what I’m doing, resting my hands on his.
“This smells so good. I can’t remember the last time someone cooked for me.” He kisses the top of my head.
“I love cooking. I used to cook all the time at home. It’s nothing too extravagant, but it fills a hole.” I turn around in his arms. “So, Benny boy. You crossing over to my team? Or am I still the enemy?” I raise an eyebrow.
“You know that saying, keep your friends close…”
“But your enemies closer?” I chuckle. “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I tap his cheek with my palm before stepping out of his embrace and taking the dishes through. Once I have placed the garlic bread down, I take the empty seat, Clarissa to my left and Benjamin to my right.
“You haven’t poisoned this, have you?” Devon sits opposite me, looking at the food in front of him.
“I guess you’ll have to find out.” I look him dead in the eye, not smiling, before I chuckle, shaking my head. “If I was going to kill you…” I lift the plate of pasta, scooping some onto my plate before passing to Clarissa. “…I would wait until you’re asleep and cut your dick off and let you bleed to death.” I grab for the bowl of chicken Bolognese. I look up and everyone is staring at me. “Sorry, was I too abrupt?”
“Wow, girl. Your mind goes dark,” the first guy who agreed to come says. “I think that’s hot.” He plates up and takes a bite of his food before groaning. “Damn, this is good shit. You are going to make the perfect wife.” I smile in thanks.
“Anyone can make spaghetti Bolognese,” Devon says, spooning out some of the pasta.
“It’s fusilli pasta, not spaghetti, and it’s all been made from scratch, and I’ve made New York-style cheesecake for dessert if you eat up.”
I watch him hesitantly take a forkful and I see the surprise in his eyes. He looks up at me. “It's not bad.” I shake my head, but I notice him eat a little quicker.
We all small talk about our classes, and what we’re doing once we graduate. I listen to Devon, who says he has to work with his dad, but I notice he seems bitter about it. Zeal has made an app that’s getting popular, so he will be concentrating on that, and Benjamin will be working his way up at his dad’s company that has been passed down through generations. I realize that my dad’s company invests in Benjamin’s dad’s company.
I don’t oversell my story. I just say I will be working with my father, but I don’t say I will be taking over his position.
I beam when I see empty plates and nothing in the serving dishes. Each of them leans back in their seats, making pleased noises and thanking me. I lift my glass of water and yelp when I purposely spill it down my dress. I stand dramatically.
“Of course, I had to do that. Give me two minutes and then I’ll come back with the dessert.” I walk to my room, closing the door. I pull off my dress, putting on a long shirt that just covers my ass, and Zeal’s boxer shorts.
It’s nice wearing underwear again. I felt exposed.
I head to the kitchen area, grabbing the two cheesecakes, and when I walk back to the dining table, all the guys sit up straighter, looking at me. I walk in the middle of Zeal and his friend, leaning over and placing the desserts down, my shirt riding up, showing off my new underwear.
“Are they my boxers?” Zeal asks me.
I take a seat. All guys’ eyes are still on me. It probably helps that I’m hardly buttoned up. “You know mine went missing, so I thought you wouldn’t mind me borrowing yours. Don’t you think it looks good on me?” I stand back up, lifting my shirt, exposing them before sitting back down.
“I think they suit you,” Clarissa says. “Want a slice?” She points to the cheesecake and I nod.
“I think they suit you also. Plus, you are at home, so you should dress however makes you feel comfortable,” a guy adds.
“Shut it, Billy,” Devon tells him.
“Thank you, Billy. I have worked hard in the kitchen, and this is freeing. You know how free I like to be, Benjamin.” I look at him and he looks at his friends before looking back at me.
“What do you mean by that?” Zeal asks.
“You said in your note that I like to be free.”
“I think you were talking about something else.”
I shrug. “What would you mean?”
“I don’t know.” Zeal looks at Benjamin then at me.
“Clarissa, would you like to eat this in my room? I feel like I’m being interrogated for wearing a shirt.” I stand up.
“You don’t have to go,” Billy says, looking disappointed.
“It's okay. The joys of living with three men. Please enjoy the rest of your night.” I smile at them all and head to my room, locking the door behind Clarissa. I place my dessert down and take a seat on my bed.
“Well, they looked pissed off. You did what you set out to do.” She takes a bite of her cheesecake.
“That doesn’t sound like a victory cheer.”
“I thought it was going to be funny, but the atmosphere just turned stiff. Something has changed. I just can’t put my finger on it.” She sucks on her fork, thinking.
“Maybe they’re realizing that they can’t beat me, and they are sore losers.”
“I don’t think that’s it, but hopefully, they will stop their jokes now.”
“Fingers crossed.” I stand up, leaning over for my plate, and start digging in.
Clarissa stays for another hour before leaving. I look over to the clock to see it’s just before nine. I’m ready to go to sleep. I turn my TV off, and once my eyes close, I fall straight to sleep.
I wake up with a start, my room pitch black. My body is shaking, my heart beating frantically. I turn on my lamp, the light blinding me for a moment. I look at the time to see it’s after three in the morning.
I just had a nightmare. Even though it's already starting to become vague, I remember the shadowed man who had his hands around my throat, telling me to look at him. God, just thinking about it is freaking me out.
I palm my face in my hands before standing up and pacing the room, wanting to get the image out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I just see him. The dream felt so real. I don’t want to be on my own right now.
I open my door, peeking out, to be greeted by darkness and silence. I go back in my room, grabbing my phone and using the light to guide me. I try and make sure I don’t wake anyone.
When I reach Benjamin’s room, I have second thoughts, but I won’t be able to sleep for ages and I’ll be exhausted for college in the morning if I don’t go in. Sucking in a deep breath, I walk in. He’s lying in bed, the sheet wrapped around his middle, his chest bare. I tiptoe around to the other side, lifting the sheet, slowly putting one leg in and then the other. Once I’ve sat down, the sheets covering me, I relax a little. I’m about to lie down when I feel hands grabbing onto my arm, my phone dropping onto the bed, the room going dark.
“What are you doing?” Benjamin whispers.
“I had a nightmare,” I say lamely.
“A nightmare?” His voice, hoarse from sleep, rumbles through my body.
“I dreamt a man was strangling me. A shadow of a man, telling me to look at him.” His hands loosen. I’m about to get up, changing my mind, when he pulls me into him, hugging me.
It has been so long since someone has held me. I grew up with hugs and cuddles. My parents were big on hugs.
I wrap my arms around him, feeling his broad, smooth back. My cheek presses against his chest. He holds me tightly into him, his fingers playing with my hair. It’s so relaxing that I could purr like a kitten.
“Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?” His body tenses. “I’ll make sure I get up before the others wake. Please,” I beg. “I can’t be on my own.”
“Yeah. Come on.” He helps me to the other side of the bed and we slouch down. He puts the sheet over us, and we lie side by side, our arms touching. It’s less intimate than when he was holding me.
I’m looking up at his ceiling, hearing his breathing coming in long and steady. I feel like it’s taking a lot for me to breathe normally.
Am I breathing loudly? Oh my God. What if I snore?
“Stop overthinking.” He chuckles.
“How can you tell? It’s so dark.”
“I can tell you are. Girls overthink a lot.”
I nudge his shoulder with mine. “I can’t lie. We do.” We both chuckle. “I’ll give you back your doors and stuff tomorrow.”
He laughs quietly. “Thank you.”
“But I want my underwear back though.” I poke his side and he pretends to act hurt.
“I will see what I can do.”
“Or I’ll just have to steal all your boxers and make do,” I tease.
I feel him turn on his side, looking at me. “At the dining table, why did you have to mention me? About me knowing how free you feel?”
Thank God it’s dark, because I’m sure my face looks like a tomato right now. “When I’m angry, or over-excited, words just fall from my lips without me thinking twice about it. I’m sorry.” He lies back down. “You haven’t told them what happened?” I turn on my side too.
“I normally do. If any of us hooks up or even does anything with a girl, we always tell one another, but… I don’t know. I guess I’d rather you like me than hate me,” he says softly.
“I don’t hate you.” I pause. “Okay, I have been angry at you all, but hate is a strong word, and if I did, I would have moved out. Even if it did leave me homeless.” I chuckle. “Have you been with women who are just yours? Women you don’t pass on to them?”
He turns back on his side. “Yes. It’s nice at the start, having something that’s just mine, but after a while, the novelty always wears off. They don’t fill that need I have. It’s so hard to explain, but we are three different people, with three different personalities. We like knowing that all three of us can give someone what they need. But we’re close. Maybe even stronger than blood, but when we have our girl, it’s a connection that is so powerful, it's undeniable. A complete connection.”
Just hearing him talk about it, how much passion he has for what he wants, but he wants it with his best friends. “Am I just a novelty?” I bite my lip.
“I don’t think you are. I think if you let us have you, you will fill that missing puzzle piece, giving us something we’re longing to have.”
“Then why do you want to get rid of me so badly?”
“Because if we can’t have you, we don’t want to be tormented with something that can never be. A longing that will always be apparent each time we see you.”
“You really know how to put things into words, don’t you, Benny boy?”
“I�
�m the charmer, apparently. Why do you think they always get me to be the good guy?”
“What about Zeal and Devon?”
“Zeal is the fun one. He’s the one that will make you smile, and he has a lot of energy, hence the running.”
“And Devon?”
“Isn’t it obvious? He’s the bad boy. Every girl likes the bad boy. But he has a heart of gold if he lets you in. He is so protective of what he cares about.”
“How are you satisfied with just one girl? Like you said, each person is different and has a different personality. What makes you think that one girl can be everything you need?”
“As long as they care for us, and eventually love us, that’s all we want.”
I ponder everything he’s said. He makes it sound so inviting, so alluring. Any girl would jump at the chance to have those three to herself, so why haven’t they got a girl now? “Have you ever had a relationship like this before?”
“We did once, back in high school. She was sweet and kind, but she changed. She ended up being bitchy. She became popular as she was dating us. We didn’t care about popularity, but she did. She wasn’t the same person we fell for.”
“But how come you have no one now? Any girl would love to have you three. I know no one would say no if you asked them.” I shake my head in confusion.
“You said no. You didn’t say the exact word, but you’ve indicated that you wouldn’t.”
I’m lost for words. Here’s me saying anyone would but I’ve shown that I wouldn’t go there.
“Is it okay if we go to sleep now?” I don’t know what else to say.
“Okay.” I turn over so my back is facing him. I close my eyes, hoping sleep will take me. Hearing him breathing, knowing he’s next to me, it doesn’t take long until darkness takes over.
That night, I dream of three men holding me, telling me they will keep me safe.
I wake up after the best sleep I’ve had since I’ve been here. I try and stretch out, but my body feels a little heavy. I look down to see Benjamin spooning me, his arm around me, me tucked tightly into him.