“I know.” With that small movement toward trust, Raze Shadow dropped into sleep.
She smoothed his hair back, and once his breathing deepened, she leaned over to place a small kiss on his forehead. God, he was beautiful. Making sure to be gentle, she traced the strong contours of his face. Native American markers shaped him; she’d have to ask him where he got the blue eyes.
Her body felt both satiated and a little sore. She grinned and hustled to get dressed in jeans and a light sweater, yanking her hair into a ponytail. After brushing her teeth, she gave one last, rather longing look at the sleeping warrior. Could he be hers? She wasn’t sure. Whatever secrets he held seemed to torture him.
She slipped out of the apartment and hurried down the hallway and stairs. The soup kitchen was nearly empty, while the smell of cooked cheese filled the room. Waving at a couple of men wiping card tables, picnic tables, and scrap tables, she headed into the infirmary. “Tace?”
Tace poked his head out of a back room, his hair ruffled. Was his hair getting darker? “You ready to get to work?”
“Yes.” She walked past the former reception area, past the two examination rooms, and beyond Lynne’s lab to an office near the back door. Desk, shabby love seat, ragged rug over concrete, and an executive leather chair. She ran her hand over the buttery softness. “Nice.”
“We stole it from a former attorney’s office on the west side.” Tace looked around. “Will this do?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He handed over a scratched clipboard holding lined school paper. “Here’s the list and order for today. I gave you an hour for lunch, and you end when you end. Some folks signed themselves up, and Jax ordered his top lieutenants to seek spots. I put us in.”
She read the list. “Jax believes in psychotherapy?”
“I think he believes folks need help, and you’re the best we’ve got. Plus, I’m sure he wants you to alert him with problems.” The Texan sauntered in and dropped into a chair. “Sami is late, so why don’t you do me first?”
Vinnie faltered and then followed him, sitting in the leather. It cupped her butt. “How are you feeling?”
He grinned, all charm. “I’m different since the infection, and I don’t really care about being different. I like how much faster my brain works, and I have quicker reflexes. In fact, I can see what has to be done without emotion.”
“So you think more than feel now, and you used to do the opposite.” Vinnie crossed her legs. “Does that worry you?”
“No.” His handsome face set into puzzled lines. “I’m not concerned. The reason I don’t want to be a Ripper is because then I’d have to kill or be killed, and that seems unnecessary, you know? Also, I have OCD now. It’s a pain in the ass.”
She reached for a pad of paper on the small table and started to scribble notes. “Do you have any urges or craving to harm people?”
“Nope. Not at all.” He sat back and extended his long legs. “Any urges I have are of the sexual nature.”
She paused and took a moment to clear her throat. “How so?”
His expression didn’t falter. “I always liked women and sex, so it’s not that different. Let’s just say my tastes have turned a little darker.”
“Sadistic?” Vinnie didn’t like labeling anything, but Tace obviously wanted clear conclusions, and she needed answers.
He grimaced but didn’t blush. “I don’t know. One of the women I’ve been seeing likes it rough, and I’ve enjoyed her, where before I would’ve stayed clear.”
Vinnie nodded. “So long as it’s consensual, why not explore? Do you want her to, ah, get rough with you?”
His blue eyes twinkled. “No. I like dishing it out, and she enjoys getting her ass paddled, but there’s no emotion involved. Just sex.”
“She’s all right with that?” Vinnie asked.
Tace nodded. “Her rules, really. Said she’s not interested in emotion or entanglements because survival is all that matters.”
“Do you mind giving me her name?” Vinnie asked. She’d like to check on the woman to make sure Tace was giving the full truth.
“Julie Bernete. She’s one of the inner territory doctors,” Tace said smoothly. “Feel free to talk to her. I waive any confidentiality or stuff like that.”
“All right. How is this different from before Scorpius?” Vinnie leaned back to appear relaxed and promote trust.
Tace’s hands hung loosely between his knees. “Well, before, I’d wine and dine. Buy flowers, say ma’am a lot, and treat the woman like a princess. I mean, the end result was banging the headboard against the wall, but I never once went for the rougher stuff.”
“Ever been in love?”
“Nope.” Tace shrugged. “I wasn’t opposed to love, but with the army and all, I kept relationships pretty simple.”
“So you were satisfied with sweet and gentle?” she asked.
He grinned. “I’m not saying I didn’t go for it, just that I didn’t smack anybody’s ass with a belt.”
“Now that you are?” she asked, trying to sound professional and not gossipy. This was just fascinating.
He lost the smile. “To be honest, I’m not sure. There’s something powerful and right about having a woman under me, bound, and helpless.” He winced. “Not unwilling though, if that makes sense. If she’s not into it, then I’m not interested in the slightest. God, I’m kinky now.”
Vinnie bit back a smile. “For the time being, why not explore the kink? You have a willing partner, and this might just be a phase, Tace.”
“If it isn’t?” he asked, his eyes darkening even more.
She shrugged. “Then it isn’t. You’re not doing anything wrong so long as everything is consensual between you and your partner—and that’s the key. Communication is paramount when you’re exploring this way.”
He nodded. “All right.”
“Also, how about you keep a diary? I’ve found that exploring thoughts and feelings in a safe journal can help make sense of the world around us, especially with Scorpius changing everything.” She kept her voice gentle.
“I’ll think about it.” Tace frowned.
A ruckus sounded from outside.
“Tace?” a female voice called.
Tace stood. “In here.”
Boots clomped and Sami came into view.
“You’re late,” Tace said mildly, moving toward her.
She stepped aside. “Bite me.”
He paused as he reached her and leaned in, all charm leaving his face. “Okay.”
She shoved his chest, and he took a step back. “Knock it off.”
He glanced at Vinnie. “The little soldier here has secrets, and it’s time she told the truth.”
Sami rolled her eyes. “Tace, I’ve been kicking your ass in training for months now. Do you want another beating?”
Vinnie bit back a smile.
He turned back to Sami, towering over the petite brunette. “One of these days, you’re not going to win our little matches. The doc and I just figured out I like to spank women, so you might want to watch yourself.” He pivoted and disappeared from sight.
Sami blushed a hard red and stalked inside. “Did he just threaten me?”
“Yes.” Vinnie frowned toward the door. The medic had just shown more emotion, real emotion, in those thirty seconds than she’d seen from him yet. “But he likes his sexual encounters to be consensual, so I believe he was just messing with you.” Which was interesting, now wasn’t it?
Sami perched at the edge of the love seat. “Listen, Doc, it’s great you’re here and all, but I don’t want to chat. I’m one of Jax’s top lieutenants, I’m highly trained in karate and street fighting, and I used to be an LAPD rookie. That’s all you need to know.”
Vinnie sat back. The fact that Jax Mercury, supreme Alpha male, had trusted female lieutenants spoke even more for his character than the fact that he’d created Vanguard as a haven. “I’m not going to make you talk to me if you don’t want to do
so.”
Sami smiled, making her look about eighteen. “Good.” She stood and walked right out the door.
“Well,” Lucinda huffed from behind the desk, “you’re not very good at this shrink stuff.”
Vinnie sighed. “I don’t know. Most shrinks are nuts, you know? That’s how they help people.”
Lucinda cackled a laugh. “Well, then, you should be much better than you are. You’re crazier than a loon.”
Vinnie caught herself glaring at what would appear to be the wall to anybody watching. She was crazy.
A knock sounded, and a pale brunette edged into the entryway. “Dr. Wellington? My name is April, and I’m your next patient.”
Vinnie forced a smile. “Come on in, and let’s get to know each other.” She’d try to help these Vanguard members while she had enough sanity to do so.
“That won’t be long,” Lucinda muttered. “You’re falling off the deep end big-time, sister.”
Chapter Sixteen
Genius and insanity feed off each other . . . and only one can truly survive.
—Dr. Vinnie Wellington, Sociopaths
Instead of dancing easily on the mat, Raze’s feet dragged on the worn material, even as he threw punch after punch at the bag hanging from three heavy, rusted chains. He grunted with the effort, and his eyesight hazed more than once.
What in the hell had he been thinking the previous night? He’d slept with Vinnie. The sound of her sighing his name would remain with him the rest of his life. How could he put her in danger with Grey? What kind of a bastard would that make him? The very idea of hurting her made him hit the bag harder, even though his strength had already ebbed.
“I’m no doctor, but you’re gonna pass out if you don’t slow down,” Jax drawled from the doorway of the basement training area.
Raze hit the bag again, following up with a fierce kick that nearly took him to his knees. Covering his pain, he turned to face Jax. “Want to go a round?”
Full of arrogance and amusement, a smile curved Jax’s hard mouth.
Raze rolled his shoulders. “Is that a no?”
“If I wanted you dead, Shadow, I would’ve just shot you the other day after the Ripper bit you. Instead, I saved your life.” The Vanguard leader sauntered into the room.
Warning ticked along Raze’s scalp, followed by a healthy dose of shame. “Thanks for saving my life.”
“You’re welcome. Don’t make me regret it.” Jax glanced around. “When did you guys put up the punching bags?”
“Last week.” They’d found the bags at an old gym near Malibu, of all places. “We were looking for medical supplies at the gyms and we found these as well as the free weights.” Raze pointed to a set against the far wall.
The mats had been spread end to end before he’d joined Vanguard, and he’d never questioned where they’d come from. The room was big enough to have a weight section, a punching section, and a place for grappling. “What was this place before you created your headquarters?”
“Storage. The windows are too high and too small to provide egress, so the room wasn’t compliant with occupancy laws, probably.” Jax leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “Good job during the attack from Twenty.”
“Ah, thanks.” The image of the dead kid flashed across Raze’s mind. His chest ached.
“Sorry about the kid. That sucks.” Jax studied him.
“Yeah, it totally sucks.” Raze rubbed the back of his neck. “When does the Scorpius headache go away?”
“Not sure it ever completely does,” Jax said.
Great. That’s what everyone kept saying. “Why did you save me?” Raze asked. The Vanguard leader just could’ve left his ass for the Rippers to finish off.
Jax lifted a shoulder. “I like you, and you’re a damn good soldier. Plus, my new Vanguard shrink-slash-profiler cares about you, and I didn’t want to piss her off quite yet.”
He liked that Jax was beginning to need Vinnie—the woman wanted to be needed. “You don’t trust me.”
“Of course not, but if you hadn’t been here yesterday, more people would be dead from the Twenty attack. More of my people,” Jax said.
Raze nodded.
“Why won’t you tell me why you’re really here?” Jax asked.
“I’m here because there’s nowhere else to go.” That was kind of the truth.
Jax sighed. “I know the look of a guy on a mission, and I know the look of a guy clawing with bloody fingers at the end of his rope. Whatever is driving you, I can help.”
God, everything in him wanted to trust Jax, but how could he gamble with his sister’s life? The next time Raze met with Ash, he’d get more information, and then maybe he could go to the Vanguard soldiers with a solid plan. “I don’t need help.”
“Maybe not, but you wouldn’t be keeping secrets unless there was a good reason to do so, and the only reason you won’t level with me is because whatever you’re planning will piss me off.” Jax shook his head. “Which means that one of us is likely to end up dead, and I won’t desert Lynne that way.”
“Where does that leave us?” Raze asked evenly.
Jax’s eyes darkened. “You have until tomorrow to give me the truth, or you’re out of Vanguard. Take today and really look around at the people here. See if you can leave them. And then use the night, another one with Dr. Wellington, to see if you can forget her. If so, get the hell out.”
Sami jogged into the room. “You guys fighting?”
Raze forced a smile for the petite soldier. Sami wore dark pants with an olive shirt, and she’d tamed her thick brown hair into two braids. “How old are you?” he blurted out.
She rolled her eyes. “Twenty-five, but I’m out of makeup. Regardless of age, I could kick your ass, Shadow.”
Actually, she might have a chance at the moment. His knees wobbled, and invisible hammers pounded away inside his skull. “When I’m at full speed, we’ll have to test that theory.”
“If you stay,” Tace Justice said, loping into the room, his tennis shoes leaving indentations in the mats.
Sami snorted. “Nice shoes.”
Tace glanced down at the pristine white shoes. “A scouting party hit the edge of Bel Air last week. I like these. What’s wrong with them?”
“You look like you’re about to hit brunch at the country club.” Jax snorted.
Sami laughed and even Tace grinned.
The moment slammed Raze in the solar plexus. The sense of camaraderie washed over him. The world sucked, and more enemies than they could count waited outside the Vanguard fence. But inside, they had this. They had one another. He opened his mouth, and a picture of Maureen learning to ride a bike popped into his head.
His mouth shut. He had to save his sister.
“Ah, where were you yesterday during the Twenty attack?” Raze focused on Jax. “I saw you come back in after I’d regained consciousness, but I didn’t get the chance to talk to you.”
Jax’s upper lip curled. “There was a skirmish inner territory between the good Reverend Lighton and my soldiers.”
Raze breathed out. “Seriously?”
Sami frowned. “Jax ordered them to take down a fence, which they have not done.”
“I didn’t think they would,” Jax muttered. “Just needed time to do some digging to figure out a plan.”
Sami nodded. “Reverend Lighton isn’t even clergy. He was a contraceptive salesman from Portland before Scorpius attacked the world.”
“He has found his calling,” Jax drawled.
Raze pressed a hand against his left temple. “What’s the deal?”
Sami rocked back on her heels. “I’ve been investigating since yesterday. Turns out the reverend, as he’s insisting on being called these days, has been issuing sermons the last months in private, and only to people he’s now calling the Pure.”
“The Pure?” Tace asked.
“Folks who haven’t been infected by Scorpius,” Jax said.
Sami gave a mock shudder. �
��That’s creepy.”
“Yes.” Jax nodded. “I need somebody to go undercover to a sermon or two, but we’re all survivors of Scorpius and won’t be included. Are any of you close to an uninfected person?”
Raze shrugged. “Most of us don’t know who has been infected and who hasn’t.”
Jax grimaced. “We could have mandatory testing, but I’m not ready to go there yet. It seems too draconian.”
“What about April Snyder?” Tace asked. “She hasn’t had the illness.”
Jax stared at the far wall. “How is she doing?” The woman had lost her only daughter just a couple of weeks before, and she’d nearly taken her own life afterward.
“As well as can be expected,” Sami said. “April helps with the kids and is now working on schedules for scouts as well as the soldiers. She’s tough.”
Raze breathed out. “That is tough. I see her with Lena a lot.”
Tace nodded. “Lena has attached herself to April, and it has been good for her.” He reached in a pocket and drew out a rock shaped a little like a heart. “The girl gave me this earlier. Any ideas?”
“So long as it ain’t blue, I don’t care,” Jax said.
Raze grinned. Lena often gave Jax blue rocks shaped like hearts, or rocks with blue hearts painted on them, or drawings of blue hearts. Definitely related to Lynne Harmony. The odd thing was that Lena had started giving the little talismans to Jax long before Lynne had walked into his life.
Sami touched an earring in her left lobe. “Lena gave me this yesterday.”
“What is it?” Jax asked.
“Just a pretty orange stone,” Sami said.
Raze squinted. “That’s a topaz. The birthstone of Scorpios.”
Sami blinked. “How do you know that?”
“My sister was into astrology,” Raze said. “She’d do my chart every year, whether I liked it or not.” God, he missed her. He had to get her back. “Is your birthday in late October or early November?”
“No,” Sami said. “I’m sure she just saw the pretty stone and gave it to me. You guys have to stop reading things into her gifts.”
“I’m a Scorpio,” Tace said dryly.
Shadow Falling (The Scorpius Syndrome #2) Page 14