Motherducking Magic (Bad Magic Bounty Hunter Book 1)

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Motherducking Magic (Bad Magic Bounty Hunter Book 1) Page 13

by Michelle Fox


  "This is bigger than I thought," I whispered.

  Jane shrugged and opened the door wider.

  I backed up, my heart quivering with a sudden shot of adrenaline. "What are you doing?"

  She turned back and put a finger to her lips.

  "If they see us...."

  "They won't." She reached into her pocket and pulled something out. Cocking her arm like a pitcher, she heaved whatever it was into the room. It landed with a ping and brought all the shifters to attention. Feet shuffled and low growls sounded, but Jane stayed cool.

  Swallowing my fear, I peeked, too. The shifters had all followed the noise and clustered at the far end of the large warehouse. There were at least eight. She'd forced them to show themselves for a count.

  Jane started to close the door, so I moved to the side. That was the moment a hand shot forward and grabbed her by the throat. She let out a strangled gasp while I darted into the nearest cubicle, dove under the desk and held my breath.

  Not all shifters could hear a heartbeat, especially if there was a lot of ambient noise, but some could. My scent in the air would be bad enough. I made myself as small as I could and tried to come up with a way to save our asses.

  "Well, who do we have here?" There was a sniff. "Human, but humans don't sneak up on shifters, so I'm guessing witch. What's your name, witch?"

  "Jane Pluhm. I'm a bounty hunter." He must've let her go because her voice was steady.

  "No one here is wanted."

  "Word is you've got a vampire here who is."

  "You tell me. You pulled the peeping tom act. Did you see your vampire?"

  "No."

  My lungs burned, and I risked taking a small sip of air.

  "Then get out of here." Footsteps hit the floor in an uneven rhythm, like maybe he'd shoved her.

  "I'm an officer of the court. You can't assault me and get away with it."

  My eyes went wide at that. Shit. She was going to pull that now? I bit my lip, frustrated. Just get out. I thought the words at her as loud as I could, but telepathy didn't actually happen unless I had a charm for it.

  "I could rip off your head and have your corpse picked clean in five minutes." Teeth snapped. "Who's to say there's been an assault? Or that we ever saw you? Not me. Now, get out of here. Last warning. The next one, you pay in blood."

  "Fine." Footsteps stomped toward the door we'd come in. Hinges creaked as the door opened and there was a quiet snap as the latch clicked in place when it shut.

  I was now alone with a really pissed off alpha shifter. I strained to make myself smaller and not breathe, but it didn't matter. He sniffed the air twice and then went back into the warehouse. I stayed where I was, barely breathing, for a long time, though, just to be safe. He'd caught us by surprise once, I wouldn't risk that a second time.

  "So they're looking for the vamp. Someone knows something." The door opened and shifters came through.

  "Good thing we've got him out of sight in the trunk."

  Several pairs of feet trudged through the office.

  "Yeah. They don't have shit on us."

  "You see anything?"

  "Naw. Chick was alone. This place is abandoned."

  "Smells like a lot of bad tasting humans in here."

  "Too much junk food. Ugh. I don't know how the vampires stand it."

  "I hear they pay for donors who follow clean diets." The footsteps receded, and the door to the warehouse opened and shut with a bang.

  It was over. Spooked, I moved slowly, carefully thinking out my exit. First, I peeked out at floor level, checking both ways for any one waiting to pounce. Seeing nothing, I carefully looked over the wall of the cubicle on each side. Still no one.

  Taking a deep breath, I ran out of there like I was on fire. I burst through the door and kept going until I reached the back of the adjacent warehouse. There, I doubled over, hands on knees while I caught my breath.

  Goddess that had been close.

  But I knew where Vitor was. And nobody had been picked clean by shifters. Yet. Maybe I could still do this thing.

  Pulling out my cell phone, I called Jane.

  She answered on the first ring, her voice a harsh bark. "What the hell took you so long?"

  "He sent shifters in to sweep the offices. I'm coming to you now."

  She snorted. "Hecate's tits, you're lucky they didn't smell you."

  "Apparently the whole place smells like a bad crowd." I tried not to take that as commentary on how I smelled. I showered. I used deodorant. No one had complained. I'd just gotten lucky.

  "Your vamp isn't there that I could see."

  "He's in the trunk of one of the cars."

  "And you know this how?"

  "Because they were glad he was hidden so you couldn't see them. The shifters talked."

  "Okay. What do you want to do?"

  "Steal the cars."

  Jane barked a laugh. "Of course you do."

  "You got any contacts that hot wire?"

  "Better. I've got police tow trucks. The impound lot owes me a favor."

  "That's too noisy. They'll fight us for the cars."

  "Don't worry. I've got a better way. Sleepy pizza time."

  "Sleepy what?"

  "You'll see. Just hurry up and get your ass over here. Time's running out."

  Chapter Fourteen

  "Stop messing with the wig. You look fine. Just keep the sunglasses on." Jane swatted my hand away from the blond wig she'd forced onto my head. Once I'd joined up with her again, we'd made a pizza run and now we were about to deliver. It didn't make sense until she explained the sleeping potion.

  "Here, wear the hat too." She produced a red baseball cap from her trunk. It read Gio's Pizza in white letters on the front.

  "I don't know about this." I flexed my shoulders and felt the red satin jacket strain across my back. I'd kept my leather jacket on, not willing to give up its protection, but it was far from comfortable. "They saw me. They know what I look like."

  "Relax. Just keep the sunglasses on. Shifter brains shut off for two things. Food and sex. The second they smell this, they'll be brain dead. You could show them your driver's license and they won't care what name's on it."

  She dug through a black bag in her trunk and pulled out a green glass jar with a cork stopper. Pulling out the cork with her teeth, she sprinkled the contents all over the extra large pizza we'd ordered from...where else? Gio's Pizza. Shutting the pizza box, she opened the cheese sticks and covered them too.

  "Won't they smell the potion?'

  "Naw. I added bacon and that covers the scent. Bacon is shifter kryptonite. They won't think about anything else." She gave the pizza one last hit of potion. "There. All set. They'll be out in five minutes. We go in, take their keys and find your vamp." Closing the cheese sticks, she reached for me.

  Alarmed, I backed up.

  "Come on. Stop fighting me. It's like you've never gone undercover or something."

  "Not like this, I haven't." Mostly because my sleeping potions were unreliable and pre-made ones were expensive.

  "I've done it dozens of times. It never fails. There are even a few shifters out there who call me Sleepy Witch. This is the easiest way to bring a furball in, trust me."

  She grabbed me by the front of the red satin jacket and jerked the zipper down. Spotting the leather vest underneath, she gave a sigh of aggravation and unzipped that, too.

  "What are you doing?" I covered her hand with mine as my cleavage came into view.

  She shoved my hand away and pulled the zipper down further."Food and sex, Sylvie. That's the key." She mimed holding up pizza and then moving it to the side to give a view of her chest. "Are you ready?"

  "Yeah. Sure." I experimented with arching my back like she had and then stopped, startled at how big my boobs got. I didn't pay much attention to my boobs. My day-to-day look was t-shirts, jeans and steel-toe boots. My other look was the leather for when shit got real. I didn't date, and I didn't wear slinky dresses, which
meant my boobs could sneak up and surprise me.

  "All right." She slapped some Gio magnets on the front doors of the SUV. "We're good. I'll be in back with the guns in case anything happens. Remember, you got pranked." She tossed me the keys and climbed in the back of her SUV.

  I nodded. "Got it." I put the pizza boxes on the front passenger seat and then climbed up to the driver's seat. I eased the SUV down the access road to the warehouse.

  "Leave the car running," Jane instructed from the back as I parked alongside one of the muscle cars.

  "Good idea." I grabbed the pizza boxes and hopped out. Looking at the muscle cars, I hesitated. "If you can hear me, I'm going to get you out of here, Vitor." I spoke as loudly as I dared, counting on his vampire super hearing. Nothing but the purr of the SUV's engine answered me, though. A faint thud from the back of the SUV drew my attention. Jane was at the window mouthing the word 'go' at me along with what looked like a string of profanity. Time to get on with things.

  "Pizza and boobs." I chanted the phrase under my breath and walked to the door. "Food and sex." Taking a deep breath, I knocked.

  No one answered. I rapped my knuckles on the door again. Still nothing. Using my palm, I pounded. Again nothing.

  Were they all deaf? What was the problem?

  Drawing back my foot, I kicked the door. It made a loud thudding noise. No way a shifter couldn't hear that.

  "Hello?" I shouted. "Anyone here order a pizza?"

  The door opened abruptly and a shifter I hadn't seen yet glowered at me. He stood about a foot taller than me and as wide as two of me. I felt downright petite for once. His square face had olive skin and a big nose with dark eyes on either side. Jeans stretched over muscle bound thighs and his T-shirt looked like it might snap as it struggled to hold onto his chest. Dude wasn't just a shifter; he was a monster sized human.

  I held up the pizza boxes like a shield. "I have your pizza." Then remembering Jane's coaching, I lowered the box and thrust my chest at him for all I was worth, hoping my boobs could surprise him too.

  His glower relaxed as his gaze dove into my cleavage and his nostrils widened, catching the pizza scent. "You have the wrong address." His voice was deep and guttural, like a machine that could chew you up and spit you out without shifting gears.

  "Three Two One Warehouse Way?" I made a show of squinting up at the numbers above the door. "This is it, right?"

  He turned his head and called over his shoulder, "Anyone order a pizza?" A chorus of nos answered him.

  "Shit." I heaved an exaggerated sigh, making sure my boobs rose with it. "Another prank call. Two on one shift. What are the odds? Sorry to have bothered you." I started to spin away, acting as if I was going to leave.

  "Uh, wait."

  "Yeah?" I moved back to face him, giving him more boob time.

  His gaze dropped into my cleavage and he licked his lips. "How much?"

  "For the pizza? You want the order? Oh, that's great. It's twenty bucks."

  He fished a twenty out of his jeans and thrust it at me. I took it and offered him the pizza boxes. He swooped them out of my arms and slammed the door.

  I looked down at the twenty and then frowned up at the door."Hey, wait, no tip?"

  No one answered, so I hustled back to the SUV and pulled out into the street.

  "Everything go okay?" asked Jane from the back.

  "Yeah, but what if they don't all eat the pizza?"

  "Are you serious? They'll kill each other fighting over the last piece before that happens. You've bailed out furballs before, right? You know how they are. They're just pigs with nice fur."

  I met her gaze in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, but—"

  "No buts. They always eat it. They always pass out. I always get my man or woman." She waved to my right. "Pull over. Let's go back and finish this."

  ***

  I parked the SUV just outside the warehouse lot and we both jumped out of the car. I checked my phone. "It's only been a few minutes. Is that enough time?"

  Jane tossed me something black and hard. I caught it out of reflex. "What's this?"

  "Taser. Just in case." She held one up and pressed the button, causing blue electricity to snap between the prongs. She strode toward the warehouse with the confidence of someone who'd already won the fight. "And yeah, to answer your question, it's enough time."

  I tucked the taser in my back pocket and followed her. I had no choice but to trust her experience.

  The muscle cars gleamed in the late afternoon sun. A purple Mustang glittered like amethyst, the chrome hubcaps reflecting the world around them. There was also an iridescent green Charger with a dent above the back wheel. On the far end of the lot sat a yellow pick-up with an elaborate black pinstripe, looking a lot like a bumblebee. Knowing shifters, all the cars had neon lights that made them glow like a portal to hell. The pick-up had an open bed, which left the Mustang and Charger as the only vehicles with trunks.

  I knocked on each trunk. "Vitor? Are you there?" I tried the car doors to see if they were open so I could pop the trunks open from the inside, but they were both locked.

  "He's probably still out," said Jane.

  I looked up at the clear sky. "How will we keep him out of the sun once we find him?"

  "I've got a blanket. That works, right?"

  I nodded and went to join her at the warehouse door. "It'll have to."

  She rolled her eyes. "If he doesn't like his rescue, he can stay here with his new furball friends."

  "What's the plan here?" I pointed to the door with my chin.

  "We knock. No one answers. I break the lock and we get the keys." She banged on the door with her fist.

  I gave the door a good kick as well and she raised an eyebrow. "They didn't hear me knocking earlier."

  "Well, they're hearing nothing but dreams now." She pulled out a lock pick set.

  "No charm?"

  "Eh. This is faster." She put two picks in the lock and jiggled them.

  "You want to do that on the trunks?" I jerked a thumb back toward the cars.

  "Let's tie up our new friends first. I don't want them waking up while our backs are turned." A smile cracked her mouth as something clicked."Got it. You have your stun gun ready?"

  At my nod, she turned the knob and yelled into the warehouse, "Shifters are idiots."

  "What are you doing?" Shocked, I reached out to pull her back, but she shook me off.

  "If they're awake, let's deal with them now." She exchanged the lock pick set for the taser. She hit the button on her taser and it made a sizzling bzzzzz sound.

  No one came at us, though, so we entered the building and found shifters sleeping all over the place. As Jane had said, they'd devoured the pizza. The boxes sat empty on a small card table.

  "Check their pockets for keys," Jane said as she squatted down by the shifter who'd bought the pizza from me. He snored with his mouth wide open while she searched his pockets.

  I went for the shifter by the table. He still held a bit of pizza crust in his hand, but his pockets were empty. "Nothing on him." I moved on to the next one.

  Within a minute we'd shaken down every shifter in the warehouse and found five sets of keys. Jane handed them over to me. "Go get your vampire. I'm going to silver cuff the furballs so they aren't too much trouble later."

  "You're cuffing them?" I furrowed my brow.

  "This crew?" She snorted. "Is wanted for something somewhere. No doubt about that." She heaved one of the shifters onto his face and straddling his hips, pulled his arms behind his back. Pausing, she looked at me. "It's not like they're your friends or anything, right?"

  "No. Be my guest. I was just curious."

  She waved me away. "Get moving. This sleeping potion wears off in about a half hour."

  I hurried out to the lot and tried the keys on the trunks. The Mustang opened by the third key revealing a big pile of semi-automatic guns but no Vitor. I thought about grabbing a gun, but they were big and I didn't see any extra ammo. P
ass.

  I shut the trunk and went to the Charger. This had to be the one. Had to be. The last key I tried worked, and I caught the trunk when it popped open, keeping it from opening fully and bathing Vitor in sun.

  Leaning down, I peeked inside, blinking at the shadows within. "Vitor? Are you in there?"

  "You found me." Vitor's accent was thick. "Finally."

  "You okay?"

  "Yes. Just cramped."

  "It's still daylight. Hang tight. I'll go get a blanket." I shut the trunk and whirled around to go search for the blanket Jane had mentioned, but stopped short. I had company. Silent, stealthy, never-heard-them-coming company. While I'd been busy looking for Vitor, a line of ducking Council Guard had fanned out behind me.

  "Put your hands up and don't move," one of them said. His helmet was gold, which marked him as the one in charge.

  "Sorry, kid," said Jane as she came up beside me.

  I did a double take. "What? You called them? Why?"

  She crossed her arms and gave me an arch look. "You're wanted worldwide. I'm not going against that."

  "This was all a lie?"

  "I did want to find the vampire. The two of you are worth a pretty penny."

  I shook my head as anger burned in my gut. "I thought you believed me. I trusted you."

  "Well, now you know better."

  "Yeah, I guess I do." With that, I snapped a quick punch at her face. She hadn't been expecting it and my knuckles landed in the middle of her cheek. She jumped back, her eyes wide, one hand going to her cheek.

  The Council guards started yelling at me, but I ignored them. Charger keys in my hand, I ran to the driver's side and jumped in. Jamming the keys in the ignition I started the car and threw it into reverse, pushing on the accelerator until it hit the floor. The Council Guard scattered, diving to either side of me. Once I hit the street, I stopped and shifted into drive.

  Tires squealing, I zoomed out of the warehouse district and onto the highway. My heart raced as fast as the car and adrenaline made me shake, although maybe that was just the way the car vibrated at high speeds. I was going almost a hundred miles an hour on the highway, zipping in and out around cars to maintain speed.

 

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