by J P Barnaby
I closed the door to the room, and folded the towel I had wrapped around my waist. Thankfully, it was warm, but my nipples had hardened anyway. There were no clocks in the room, and my anticipation was almost tangible as I waited for Ethan. Remembering my realization about the room being soundproof, I wasn’t unsurprised when I couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the door. I felt awkward, I didn’t know what to do with my hands, or if I should sit somewhere, or stand. Looking around at the chairs and benches, I realized I couldn’t force myself to sit on one in fear that made it feel like I was eager. Was I? I tried desperately not to think about what was going to happen. The minutes ticking by felt like hours.
I began to wonder if he was coming at all. Maybe this was my punishment, maybe he just wanted to freak me out. Mission accomplished, man. Not being able to resist, my eyes roamed around the room while I waited. It was then that I noticed the pulley in the ceiling, leather cuffs dangling from it that held my eye for a moment, until I noticed the lever on the wall. This equipment was clearly meant to lift the subject by the arms and allow them to hang there while they were violated. My heart rate accelerated, and I tried to focus my eyes somewhere else. They landed on something that looked like black mountain climbing rope, cut into different lengths hanging on pegs on the wall. These two things in close proximity to each other forcibly brought home the reality of what I was agreeing to. I turned and headed for the door. Just as I got to the front of the room, I saw the knob turn.
My breath came in wild gasps and, I froze where I stood. My panic was barely contained when he stepped through the door wearing a plain grey t-shirt and black leather pants, the quiet authority that radiated from him was unmistakable. Without acknowledging me, he walked to the stereo on the wall, turned it on, and classical music began to flow through the speakers. Then, he turned to me. My breathing still wasn’t under control, but I tried to stand still as he came toward me.
“Today, we are going to assess your potential,” he said, in a hard voice as he walked in a circle around me. “I can see that you are only partially erect, most likely because of your fear.” I felt his muscled body against me from behind, his clothes rubbing against me reminded me that I was painfully naked. I felt more than bare now, I felt vulnerable. With his lips at my ear, he murmured, “I have thought about you like this countless times since you moved into my house. Do you feel what you do to me?” Pressing his hips into my buttocks, I felt his erection hard against me. To my utter mortification, my body reacted, and I was now fully erect.
“Very nice,” he said and walked over to where the black ropes hung on the wall. He picked up a black bar with metal rings at each end, and several lengths of rope before returning to stand right in front of me. “By choosing this option, you are agreeing to become my submissive. I will train you, discipline you, and meet your sexual needs. You may not engage in other sexual relationships or satisfy your own needs, and you will follow my instructions to the letter. Do you understand?” I nodded, and he continued. “You will have two safe words. If you do not wish to continue our relationship, and you wish to leave this house as we discussed previously, you need only to say the word. That word is ‘sunset’. This is the end of who you once were, and the beginning of your new life. Do you wish to use that word now?” Reminding myself that I had already made this decision, I shook my head, and then looked down at the floor. “Your other safe word, the one you will use to stop any scene is ‘red’. We will discuss that in more detail later. Are you ready?” I took a deep, shaky breath, trying not to imagine what was coming and then I nodded.
“Then we will begin,” he said simply, and walked behind me. “Cross your wrists behind your back.” I put my arms behind my back and felt him use one of the lengths of rope to bind them tightly.
“On your knees” he said in a sharp voice. Carefully, because of my bound hands, I lowered myself to the floor. “Spread your legs.” Doing as he asked, he placed the bar between my knees. When he tied each of my knees to the metal loops on either end of the bar, I felt wholly debased, now naked and spread for him on his hardwood floor. He brought one of the lower benches over, and after setting it in front of me, adjusted it to my height using a set of pegs on each side. Then, with his warn hand between my shoulder blades, he pushed me over the ottoman so that my stomach rested against the cool leather. His touch was gentle, but firm giving me no option to resist him.
“Now, you will be punished for your transgression. I told you not to enter this room, however you felt compelled to do so. This will help you to understand that you will obey me,” he said, and I watched him walk to the wall and pull down a long wooden paddle. Immediately, I squirmed on the bench wondering if I should use the word. Could I do this? When the first blow came, I was unprepared for it and jerked forward into the bench. I didn’t cry out, I couldn’t. I was determined not to give him the satisfaction of hearing me react to his punishment. Crack after crack of the paddle resounded through the room, and I suddenly understood why the room was soundproofed. Even though I never made a sound throughout my punishment, the sheer humiliation of the setting was soon apparent as my hips moved to absorb the blows. My erection continuously rubbed against the soft leather padding of the bench making me become incredibly aroused. How could I get so hard being paddled by another man?
Finally, it was over. When he rubbed my sore buttocks with his large hand, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me. It stung, but the tenderness he showed felt nice. As he walked around the bench, I couldn’t meet his eye, so I dropped my head. Stroking my hair affectionately, he said “You took that well, Jayden. I am impressed.” Pulling on my shoulders so I straightened up, he pushed the bench out of the way, and looked hungrily at my body. “You seemed to enjoy it as well,” he mused, and my face flamed. He stepped closer to me and I watched in horrified fascination as he released a snap on the front of his pants and removed a panel, his erection now framed by the opening in his clothing. Still, he was clothed, and I was naked. One more level of subjugation I was required to face.
I felt his hand stroke my cheek slowly, and then he said the word I had been dreading.
“Open.”
The panic welled in my chest, but I willingly opened my mouth for another man. Of course, this act had been performed on me, but I really had little idea what to do now. My mind had gone blank with the sheer depravity of it. I felt his erection enter my mouth, and my mind rebelled against it, but as I tried to turn my head, he held it fast. Soon I could taste him, the flavor of salt and musk strong on my tongue, and I forced myself to breathe through my nose, relaxing as he released my head. It would have been better if he’d have forced me, but he did not move once he was fully in my mouth, and it was now up to me to willingly perform the act. This must have been what he meant by assessing me. With tears welling at the corners of my eyes, I began to move. Softly, he moaned as I carefully bobbed my head back and forth sucking him.
“Jayden, look at me,” he demanded, and I opened my eyes to look up at him to find his brown eyes studying me for a moment before his head fell back and he put his fingers in my hair. He began to gently guide my movements. Feeling the rigid texture of him as he fucked my mouth, I had to concentrate hard on breathing through my nose as his thrusts increased in tempo. Instinctively, I sucked harder just wanting it to be over. The sounds he made excited me, and my hips moved in a softer rhythm that complemented his. I was impossibly hard.
“Swallow it,” he said tersely, through his teeth. Seconds later, he stopped moving while deep in my mouth. I felt the hot, sticky semen stream into my mouth and I swallowed around him, forcing myself to concentrate on breathing and swallowing, and nothing else. When he was finished, he pulled out slowly, my jaws aching when I could finally move them again. One tear slipped slowly down my cheek as I thought about what I had just done. Not only what I had done, but about how it had made me feel. Degraded but aroused, humiliated but almost willing to beg for more, it scared me how much I wanted it. My erect
ion was actually painful now, and all I could think about was how I would even resort to begging him for release. As I looked up into Ethan’s face, he smiled down at me, displaying his approval. He stroked my hair softly, and I realized then that this day would leave me irrevocably altered.
Still on my knees before Ethan, he looked down at me speculatively as he tucked himself back inside his pants and refastened them. My first reaction was disappointment, followed quickly by horror. What the hell was wrong with me? How could I be disappointed in him putting his cock back in his pants? Kneeling in front of me, he untied my legs from the bar, and then moved behind me to quickly untie my hands.
“Stand,” he said, and my muscles painfully protested as I complied. I refrained from rubbing my arms, and stood before him with my head down.
“You have a beautiful habit of looking down when you stand before me. That is very good, Jayden,” he said, and I could hear a note of pride in his voice. I had pleased him, and I felt a stirring of something, but in the next instant it was gone. Turning from me, he walked to the largest table, and then instructed, “On the table, all the way at the end.”
I followed him to the table, and did as I was told. The leather was cool beneath my flaming buttocks, still red from the paddling. As he indicated for me to do, I sat at the very edge of the table with my legs over the end. Pushing my shoulders back until I was lying down, he pulled my hands over my head before grabbing longer ropes from the wall to secure my hands to the top of the table and re-tie my knees to the bar, pulling it towards the top of the table. I ended up with my knees pressed against my chest while he tied another set ropes from the head of the table to the bar preventing me from closing my legs, or putting them down.
I felt horribly exposed, and another tear fell. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think about what was coming when suddenly, I felt warm slick hands on my raging erection, the warming gel he had applied to his hands make the feeling mind-blowing. There was no hesitation or awkward strokes; he knew exactly what gave me the greatest pleasure. It was like my body was a musical instrument, and he was my master. In effect, I guess that’s exactly what he was.
I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped me as he used one hand to stroke the head with his palm, and the other to stroke the whole length. Being bound, I was unable to rock my hips up hard enough. My body was begging for release when I felt him remove one of his hands, and continue stroking with the other. When I felt him applying the gel to my anus, my mind shouted at me that I should panic, that I should scream the fucking safe word and get the hell out of here, but my body ached for the hand that was stroking me. First one, then two, fingers slid slowly in and out of me. The feeling was so far beyond anything I’d experienced that I moaned and whimpered without restraint now, using the only avenue allowed to me. He continued to violate me with his fingers, pushing them deeper with every stroke. I could feel it, I was so close now. Then inexplicably, he stopped his ministrations, and I let out a strangled whimper at the loss.
I felt his hands spreading my buttocks open to him, and I emitted a small frightened cry as I felt the head of his erection pressing into me. Closing my eyes tightly, I locked my jaw against the pain. My ass was on fire as he groaned softly and slowly pushed deeper. When I opened my eyes again, his eyes were on my face, watching carefully. When I felt his strong leather-clad thighs against my skin, I knew he was all the way inside me, and I felt stretched as his fingers dug into my hips to hold me steady. He was letting me become accommodated to his size, and I saw the effort it cost him to hold perfectly still. Slowly, he pulled back and then pushed forward again, impaling me. I tried to remain quiet, to hide the mounting feelings in the pit of my stomach. This couldn’t be happening.
Ethan began to move faster, his hips slapping against my buttocks with each hard thrust. He had both hands on my hips, steadying me as he drove into me. I just kept my eyes closed, I couldn’t let him see. My head rocked back from side to side, trying to stop the inevitable, but I knew that I couldn’t. Within minutes, his moans had turned into grunts and he fucked me faster. The base animalistic sounds coming from him, plus the friction from his thrusts pushed me to my breaking point. A low sob escaped me as my orgasm ripped through me. I came without him stroking me, or touching my erection in any way. It came about strictly from being bound to this table and taken with sheer animal force by another man, and I couldn’t hold back the tears now, it was just too much.
Ethan gave one last thrust, harder than the others, and I felt his orgasm inside of me. He squeezed my hips with his fingers, and groaned loudly as he filled me, or the condom covering his cock anyway. Breathing heavily, he pulled back, watching me as he started to calm. I could feel his eyes on me, and I sobbed silently at the degradation. My legs were still bound in the air, and I felt the cool air on my skin, still wet from the lube. When he moved to the head of the table, and stroked my face, I noticed that again, only his genital area was exposed and he was still fully clothed. Wiping away my tears, he kissed my forehead gently. Then he untied me quickly, and after I got up off the table, I knelt quickly on the floor, and pressed my forehead to his thigh. I don’t know what compulsion caused me to do this, but it felt oddly natural. Ethan ran his fingers though my hair, and then took my hand pulling me to my feet. I avoided his gaze.
“Jayden, your assessment is complete,” he said, pulling my face up so that I would look at him. “Now, I have to ask you something. I will let you remain in the house regardless of your answer. You have incredible potential that you are only just beginning to realize. I want you, and I will extend this offer to you only once. Are you ready to become my sub?”
I looked down and thought about his question. I could continue to live here no matter what I decided. Feeling extraordinarily disturbed that I had to think about the choice rather than just saying no, I weighed my options while he patiently watched me, knowing the decision was not to be made lightly. I thought about how I felt under his paddle, under his hands, impaled by him.
“Yes,” I whispered, almost to myself.
“Yes…” he repeated, trailing off, a question in his tone.
“Yes, Master Ethan.”
* * *
I wasn’t able to sleep that night, images from our session that morning, and our subsequent conversation, rolled over and over in my mind. The memories of the session bombarded my mind; I could still feel the soft texture of the leather bench under me as me paddled me soundly. I could remember every note of the song that played in the background, and the taste of him in my mouth, every detail etched in perfect clarity. The backs of my legs ached from being bound in one position for so long. No nuance of my experience today had been lost. They each replayed behind my closed lids like some foreign film – familiar, but not easily understood.
I rolled to my side, wincing slightly in discomfort; this new tenderness brought to the forefront my more painful conflict. The low groan that he had uttered as he had entered me sounded in my ears once more. Just the memory of it was starting to make me hard. I could almost still feel him inside me because of the soreness. What did it mean? Was I gay? When Ethan had explained this new life to me, he had said that it was purely a sexual relationship. Would I ever have a normal relationship again?
Finally, the sun rose, and I had an excuse to escape my thoughts. Grabbing a towel, I walked into the bathroom. It was surreal; everything was the same as the day before - everything but me. I felt like a completely different person, a person I didn’t know. That feeling only intensified when I removed the leather wrist cuff Ethan had given me as a physical token of my subservience. He had said that generally subs wear collars as a sign of their commitment, but that he preferred to be a little more subtle. The black leather cuff was embossed with his family crest, a sign of his possession. The only time I was allowed to remove it was to bathe, or to treat it. I set it carefully on the countertop, and got into the shower.
For a moment, as I stood beneath the spray, I felt like a weight had been
lifted, free of the restraint of the cuff, I was Jayden Lee Carter again. I felt like a man, like my own man again. I couldn’t explain, even to myself, the feelings of emasculation brought about by just the memory of that room. Something had been taken from me during my time there, but in the back of my mind, I knew that much more had been given. I did not make this decision lightly, and I couldn’t deny the pull I felt toward Ethan and his authority over my body. Then, the realization washed over me that I felt empty without his mark. I shook my head to dispel the image of him standing above me as I dropped to my knees to serve him. My erection was painful now, thinking about his masterful handling of me. It disturbed me that I didn’t even consider masturbating in the shower. Reducing the water temperature, I wondered at how with the utterance of three simple words of affirmation, my life had stopped being my own.
I stopped by the hospital so that Ethan could administer a physical exam and a series of tests for sexually transmitted diseases. He said that once the test results came back, I could be an active member of the local community, and he would also no longer need to use a condom. Then, I spent the rest of the day preparing for the next week’s courses. Sadly, even though I had midterms for the first few days, I often found my mind otherwise engaged as I kept going back to the decision I had made, the life I had chosen. That night, I started to feel a panic building in my chest as ten o’clock neared. Ethan was about to get off of a double shift at the hospital and would be home soon. When I realized that I couldn’t face him, I practically ran from the house, got on my bike and screeched out of the drive. Its wheels carried me to a club that I had frequented before moving in to the new house.