The Reluctant Cowgirl

by Christine Lynxwiler

  “Jessica, give Caleb his notebook.” The teacher spoke firmly from where she stood at her desk, her back to them. Jeremy was reminded of the old adage about teachers and mothers having eyes in the back of their heads.

  The little girl tossed the notebook at the boy and he fumbled it then picked it up off the floor. He stomped off to his desk in a huff.

  Jeremy put his hand on the back of Beka’s head and guided her gently toward the teacher.

  Miss Davis turned around, her brown, shoulder-length hair swinging like a shiny curtain. “Beka, it’s so good to see you again.” She motioned to a desk near the front. “I’ve got your desk all ready.” Beka carried her backpack to the desk.

  Miss Davis smiled at Jeremy. “Mr. Buchanan, I didn’t get a chance to tell you Monday when you stopped by but I’m so glad things worked out.” She looked over at Beka, who was showing her book bag to the little black-haired girl. “We’re thrilled to have Beka here.” She lowered her voice. “I saw you on TV and my heart just went out to you.” Her pretty, slightly round face reddened. “Your plea was so moving.”

  Embarrassed, Jeremy nodded. “I appreciate so many people caring.”

  “If there’s anything I can do for you and Beka, if you need any help with anything...”

  “Thank you. Right now we’re fine.” His answer seemed stilted, but he didn’t know what to say.

  “I’ll keep a special eye on her.” The woman really did seem sweet. And Jeremy was sure she was sincere.

  After Lindsey left, it seemed like every single woman in the county made a point of offering to help the poor man left alone with a two-year-old. He understood they hadn’t known he’d taken care of Beka largely alone even when Lindsey was still there. But he’d assumed that now they’d realize that he’d raised Beka for three years on his own before Lindsey took her.

  The bell rang and the kids all hurried to their seats. He stepped over to Beka’s desk. “I guess I’d better go.”

  She looked up at him and grinned. “Bye, Daddy.”

  No hug? No kiss? No “Please don’t go”?

  She turned to the little black-haired girl who was sitting beside her, and Jeremy knew he was forgotten.

  Logically he knew Beka would be safe inside the kindergarten room, but he wanted to pull up a chair—even one of those tiny chairs—and sit in the corner and make sure.

  He glanced up to see Miss Davis watching him with a sympathetic smile. She gave him a little wave and looked at the door. He guessed that was a not-very-subtle hint that he wouldn’t be allowed to sit in the room after all. So he might as well leave.

  In the school parking lot, he considered just waiting in his truck. It was only eight hours. His laughter echoed in the quiet cab. It’d be his luck Blair from the TV station would show up with her “live” camera crew and the noon news feature story would be “Paranoid Dad Refuses to Leave School Yard.” He put the truck in reverse, backed out of his parking place, and slowly left the school grounds.

  When he pulled up in front of his empty house, he had a sudden urge to check on the McCord cattle.

  CHAPTER 26

  Who was he kidding? He was going to see if he could find Crystal.

  There. He had admitted it.

  He bypassed the house for the barn and saddled Nacho.

  As he trotted down the road, he thought of that day he’d first seen Crystal by the river. Only tiny sprigs of green had been scattered around then. Just enough to offer hope of a better time coming. And now all the greenery was in full bloom.

  After he crossed the river, he scanned both sides of the road for any sign of humans. Finally, when he was about to give up and call her, he saw a small figure in the distance standing beside a horse.

  He gave Nacho a signal and together they easily cleared the cattle guard and took off at a gallop down the field road. He slowed before he got to her, for fear she’d think there was something wrong—something other than his being lonely and wanting to see her.

  She shielded her eyes and smiled up at him. “Hey, stranger. I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

  Holding the reins loosely, he shrugged. “Turns out they don’t let dads stay at kindergarten.”

  She took off her work gloves and walked over to him. “Aww, you would have looked so cute in one of those little chairs.”

  He chuckled. “You don’t know how close I came to trying that.” He shifted the reins to one hand and slid easily to the ground. “But as nice as her teacher was, I was afraid she’d turn mean real fast if I tried.”

  Crystal touched his arm. “It must have been tough to leave her.”

  He nodded and kicked a twig, embarrassed to meet her eyes. “It’s crazy how panicked I felt.”

  She shook her head. “Not at all crazy. You might be surprised to find that even parents who haven’t been through what you have still panic on the first day of kindergarten.”

  He cut his gaze to hers. “I hadn’t really thought about that. But I guess you’re right.”

  She nodded. “Mama said when she left me and Cami the first day of school she just went home and cried her eyes out. Cleaned the house from top to bottom, sobbing the whole time.”

  He grinned. “Maybe I should go clean house.”

  She pulled the fencing pliers from her back pocket and held them out to him. “Or you could help me fix the fence.”

  He took them from her. “I’d do anything to get out of cleaning house. Now since Beka’s all caught up in pretending, maybe she can pretend to be a housekeeper.”

  As he and Crystal worked without speaking, Jeremy marveled at how easy even their silences were now. He remembered all the lectures he’d given himself about not getting too attached to her, but those lectures were empty words compared to the fullness of his heart when he was with her.

  He watched her hook the wire on the post, her hands enclosed in small leather gloves that were still too big. What would it be like to have forever with her? To be able to work and play and sleep beside her the rest of his life? His heart had no trouble imagining that. But when he stumbled across the opposite question—What would it be like not to have the rest of his life with her?—he couldn’t wrap his mind around the possibility.

  Crystal glanced at him. “So she liked the theater in the barn last night?”

  “Hmm? Oh. Beka.” He took a fence tie from her and nodded. “It was all she could talk about. Even this morning, she was almost as excited about that as she was about starting a new school.”

  “Wow. That’s cool.” She sat back on her feet. “And I have some good news. Next time we go out there to play, it should be a lot cleaner.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yep. We’re having a family workday Saturday to clean it up. We decided to turn Mama and Daddy’s welcome home party into an anniversary barbecue bash for the whole county and have it in the pole barn. You’re invited, by the way.”

  “To the barbecue or to the workday?”

  A mischievous smile tilted her lips and her eyes twinkled. “Well, now that you mention it, it will take a lot of elbow grease to get that old barn cleaned up.”

  He groaned. “I thought that you were getting me out of housecleaning.”

  “Yes, but I didn’t say anything about barn cleaning.”

  “I’ll be there.” As he said it, he knew he’d gladly scrub the dirtiest of barns if it meant spending the day with her. Realization slammed into him like a charging bull. He turned back to work before she could see the truth in his eyes.

  He had completely fallen in love with Crystal McCord. And there was nothing he could do about it.

  ***

  Crystal glanced around the campfire. Everyone looked tired but contented. And the barn was as clean as it had been back in the days of the McCord Players.

  Chance and Kaleigh hadn’t been able to come, but Matthew had made it in. He and Luke had built this wonderful campfire. At Crystal’s request.

  Jeremy shifted closer to her on the rock they shared with Beka,
his breath warm against her ear. “Great idea ending the day with a fire.”

  Crystal grinned up at him. “You’re the one who thought of the marshmallows.”

  He nodded toward Beka, who was letting Elyse’s dogs lick the sticky marshmallow from her hands. “I think Beka has fallen in love.”

  What if Beka’s not the only one? She quickly banished the thought from her mind.

  Across the fire, Bree leaned back against Aaron as he whispered in her ear. They both looked so happy and relaxed. Bree had confided to her today that she loved the boys at the group home but was afraid she’d never be allowed into their inner city world because of her middle-class upbringing. She’d sounded so distraught when she said Aaron made fitting in look easy.

  Crystal had reminded Bree that even though Aaron had been raised on those streets, love was the universal language. And once the boys realized that Bree was there because of love, they’d accept her. Crystal looked away from Aaron and Bree. Everywhere she turned her attention, it came back to love.

  Beside them, Elyse pushed to her feet. “Is it okay if Beka walks with me to take the dogs home?” She grinned down at the sticky little girl. “And we’ll wash her hands while we’re there.”

  Crystal could see the hesitation in Jeremy’s face, but he nodded. “Sure.”

  “Very brave,” she said in a low voice as Elyse and Beka walked away. “I’m proud of you.”

  He shrugged. “Being able to let her go some is something I’m praying a lot about.” He glanced over at Crystal, the reflection of the flames dancing in his eyes making them unreadable. “Among other things.”

  “What other things?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

  Her phone rang before he answered. She considered just letting it ring. But the ringtone told her it was Mia and she’d already missed one call from her today.

  “Hello?” She stood and stepped back from the fire.

  “Crystal!”

  “Yes, Mia. How are you?”

  “I’m fine. But I have another private audition for you. And I think you’ll get it. They specifically asked for you.”

  Crystal felt her throat constrict. She glanced toward the group around the fire and lowered her voice. “Broadway?”

  “No, but close. It’s barely off-Broadway and this time it’s a lead role.”

  Crystal stared at the fire, particularly at Jeremy’s back. Some things shouldn’t be given up. She cleared her throat. “Mia, I’ve decided to take a break from New York for a while.”

  “A break?” Mia’s voice went an octave higher. “You’ve had a break.”

  “I’m sorry. Just don’t put me up for any more roles until you hear from me.”

  “Are you switching agents and this is your way of telling me?”

  “No. You’re the only agent I want. But right now, I’m just in a...” She looked back at the group. All her brothers and Bree were looking at her. Only Jeremy was pretending he couldn’t hear her. She took another three or four steps away and turned her back. “I just need a break, Mia.”

  Mia gave a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Let me know when you’re ready to start again.”

  “I will. And if you need to replace me with a working client, I understand.”

  “Don’t be silly, Crys. We’re friends. I’ll be here when you come to your senses.”

  Crystal smiled. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” She walked back to the campfire and sank down by Jeremy.

  “You’re turning down auditions, kid?” Luke looked puzzled.

  She shrugged. “For now.”

  She glanced at Jeremy, but he appeared to be fascinated by the fire.

  “So Jeremy...” Aaron gave Luke a hard look for asking personal questions in front of nonfamily, and Crystal couldn’t help but smile. They’d been a tight-knit group in junior high and high school. Some things never changed. “Did I hear you say you’re going to Oklahoma next week?”

  Jeremy nodded.

  Crystal glanced over at him. Oklahoma? This was the first she’d heard of it. “What for?”

  “There’s a herd of Black Angus for sale there that I’m interested in.”

  “Cool. So what will you do about Beka and school? Or is it a day trip?” It occurred to Crystal that if she ever wanted to switch careers, she could try law. She sounded like a cross-examiner.

  “I’ll be gone a couple days. Beka’s going to stay at Mom and Dad’s.”

  Wow. So he really was trying to get used to letting her out of his sight some.

  Luke threw another log on the fire, and Aaron and Bree got into a long “smoke follows beauty” debate about the resulting smoke.

  “You going to be okay leaving her?” Crystal asked softly under the cover of their loud banter.

  He turned to look at her. “That remains to be seen. But like I said, I’m praying about that.”

  “Among other things,” she reminded him. Giving him every opportunity to share what the “other things” were.

  But he just nodded.

  ***

  Jeremy pulled into the unfamiliar barn lot and got out of the truck. The late afternoon sun, more show than heat now, did little to take the chill out of the unseasonably cool day. Jeremy lifted the backseat up and got his jacket out.

  On the other side was a jacket his dad had left the last time they’d been out. Jeremy had always figured his dad would be with him when he got ready to buy livestock. They’d gone together a few years ago to get his dad and mom’s cattle, with Beka and his mom in the backseat of the crew cab truck.

  But this time, when his mom had offered to keep Beka so she wouldn’t miss school, Jeremy had felt uneasy at the thought of his dad not being home, too. No matter how many times he reminded himself that Lindsey was dead and the threat to Beka was gone, he couldn’t shake the unease. So even though he’d felt bad, he hadn’t invited his dad.

  Finally, right before he’d left home yesterday morning, his dad followed him out to the truck. “You know I’d go with you, son.” His dad had rubbed his graying stubble. “But I think we’d both rest better if I stayed here and kept an eye on things.”

  Jeremy had smiled, glad that his paranoia wasn’t his alone. “A burden shared is a burden halved,” his grandpa always said, and that seemed fitting here.

  So he’d headed to Oklahoma alone, in search of the perfect herd of cattle. He’d looked at several, but this last one he was scheduled to see had looked the best online.

  The cattleman came out to meet him, right on time. The man’s gruff voice matched his weather-beaten face. He stuck out his calloused hand. “H.B. Smith.”

  Jeremy shook his hand and introduced himself. “Glad to meet you.”

  Mr. Smith led the way to a small utility vehicle, much like the one the McCords had, and motioned for him to climb in. As they bounced across the bumpy hills, the older man talked about his cows. After he’d extolled their virtues, he looked across at Jeremy. “You probably wonder why I’m wantin’ to sell. My daddy always taught me to ask that question no matter what you were buyin’.”