by Adam Steel
Down on the beaches it was a steady 80 o.
The open topped jeep (that Irene had hired) sped up the road until it turned into a track. Irene was driving. Irene talked and laughed and paid little attention to her driving. It made Ellie nervous. Irene had managed to persuade Patrick, the jeep owner, to let her have the Jeep for the whole week at half the price. Ellie didn’t even bother asking how she had managed that, because she knew just how persuasive Irene could be, and the figured that Patrick stood no chance against the charms of the red-headed bombshell.
Irene raced the jeep deeper into the lush vegetation. Ellie clung on to the side rails and tried to look like she was having fun.
It was cool under the canopy of the trees. Irene was getting very excitable. Her voice was bright and cheerful.
‘Look at the humming birds! Ell they are so beautiful.’
Ellie was praying that Irene would pull over and look at them, rather than trying to spot them whilst she was driving. She would have avoided the potholes. Irene didn’t. The jeep bumped over loose rubble.
Ellie nodded.
‘I’m so glad we came away together before we started med school,’ Irene said.
Ellie could see how happy and excited Irene was.
She didn’t want to spoil her fun, so she said nothing about how scared she was of Irene motoring ‘skills,’ and replied simply, ‘So am I Reenie.’
‘Wow, will you look at that. It’s so gorgeous up here. I can see the falls,’ Irene said: her eyes were shining with fascination.
‘Why don’t we park? We could walk the rest of the way. See more wildlife close up,’ Ellie said, hoping that Irene wouldn’t realise the real reason for her wanted to get out of the jeep.
Irene jammed her foot down on the brake. The jeep stopped abruptly and stalled.
Irene’s red curls bounced on her bare shoulders.
‘Whoops,’ she said, and grinned widely.
‘Reenie. Did you ever actually take any driving lessons?’ Ellie tutted.
Irene laughed the comment off. Comments like that bounced off her as surely as her red curls bounced when she walked.
They jumped down and started walking towards the falls. The walk took them through a forest of tropical trees and luscious vegetation. Hummingbirds of all colours flitted between the branches in front of them. They went about their business of collecting nectar un-disturbed by the two young women passing beneath them. Irene clicked her camera furiously scaring anything that got within a few feet of her. A small green lizard ran up the trunk of a tree and stopped, flipping up its red throat as an angry display.
Even the lizards are scared of her, Ellie thought.
The sound of the waterfall was getting louder and there seemed to be a lot more birds around than before. They flapped and fluttered above their heads. When they got to the spot where the local men dived into the pools, they found that it was deserted. They stood on the edge of the waterfall, peering down into the pool below.
The water was rushing over the rim of the fall, down into the deep pool.
In her dream, Ellie remembered the bloodied water spilling over the edge of the bath in Irene’s house that murder-filled night, and she was panicking again. The rushing noise was getting louder and louder until it became unbearable.
Suddenly Irene was gone.
She was standing alone on the edge: high up: in the dark.
The light had turned from white to blue.
The waterfall was changing colour in the blue light. It was running red: red water pouring over the edge: filling the pool below with a black swirling mess. In the middle, something pale and white floated. It had red curly hair.
She crouched down on the forest floor and peered over the edge of the waterfall. She noticed, that down the cavernous, slippery sides, orchids grew – lots of orchids.
The scent from the orchids wafted up, and the smell was pungent and overpowering. It stung her nose.
She screamed Irene’s name over and over again.”
Jon Li was shaking her.
‘Wake up Ellie….wake up!’ he was almost shouting at her.
He sounded anxious.
‘You’re having another nightmare.’
Ellie crashed back into her conscious body with a thump. She sat bolt upright, clutching hold of Jon Li, waiting for the nightmare to pass. Through the bedroom door she could see the bathroom. Hot steam was rising from the bath and the scent of flowers from the bubble bath permeated the room.
‘I was running you a bath Ellie,’ he said, kindly.
Ellie looked confused and stuttered, ‘th-thanks….wh-what time is it?’ her head hurt from the tranquilizers and she felt disorientated.
Jon Li took his hands off her shoulders.
‘It’s nearly tea-time. I’ve ordered food in for us. Something special - to help you feel better,’ he said, relaxing a little.
‘Thanks,’ she replied.
His kindness somehow made her feel even more emotional and she took a sharp breath in and burst into tears again.
He held her tightly and begged, ‘please Ell, don’t cry any more. I have an idea that might help. Why don’t you try meditation? You can ...use my sanctuary… if you want. It could help you. Tonight - after our meal. How about it?’
He pulled back gently and waited for a response. He had a hopeful expression on his face so she nodded and dried her eyes in the duvet.
‘Thanks. I-I could try it I guess.’
He got up tentatively and left for the kitchen. She could hear him talking in a hushed voice to Agatha. She lay in the bath trying to recover from the awful nightmare and the events that had caused it. The pills had made her feel very groggy, best not take any more of those again, even if they do numb the pain, she thought.
Jon Li was pottering around in the kitchen making drinks for them.
She cried tears in the bath: tears for Irene and her unborn child: tears for his kindness: tears for herself.
After she had taken her bath, she dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and cotton top and sat with him on the roof terrace and drank iced tea. Her eyes hurt from the glare of the sun. The side effects of the tranquilisers had made her head feel heavy. She leaned back against the soft cushions of the recliner and closed her eyes and day-dreamed of Phoenix Palace.
Jon Li slipped his hand away and disappeared back into the kitchen. He returned with a platter of delicious delicacies. They were obviously very expensive. She picked lightly at the lovely platter of food. He could see she had no appetite, but politely ignored the large quantity of food left on the platter.
They sat holding hands, looking out over the heart of Coney City and in the far distance they could see the glinting spires of Phoenix Palace.
He put one hand over hers and said softly, ‘Remember that day?’
She nodded. Speaking was too hard. To her, it felt like a life time ago. He was talking about the night at Phoenix Palace. He was doing his best to try and cheer her up. She cast her mind back to that scene in the ballroom to when he had danced a slow dance with her and held her tight in the Hall of Mirrors. Irene never got to see the mirrors, she thought. She was wishing that she was back there and that everything had been a dark dream. She asked herself, Why? Why did this happen to Irene and her unborn baby and to Aunty Audrey. Little Irene Junior was never going to grow up in Coney City and enjoy her life. Her life had been cut short before she had a chance. It was all so wrong. So unfair.
Jon Li could see her dark thoughts dragging her back to that night and that his talking was not actually helping, so he fell silent. They sat in silence, holding hands and looking out over the heart of the city. Their beautiful world had been tainted by the death of Irene. Out ahead, over the horizon, the monorail was doing its usual circuit of Sector One: silently gliding past the office blocks, malls and apartments delivering its cargo of contented Utopians all over the city.
Jon Li’s Sanctuary
Later that night
Late that night Jon
Li stood in front of the doors of his sanctuary. Ellie stood beside him, barefooted. Her hair was loose and she was naked under the simple white cotton gown that she was wearing. Her gown was open at the front, and held together with a matching cotton belt. He had given it to her to wear inside the sanctuary.
Ellie was looking at the elaborate paintings of vines and orchids that covered the heavy doors. The intricate designs extended over the large doorknobs. They were worn from the many times that his hands had used them.
‘Ready?’ he asked, in a hushed voice.
Ellie nodded and wondered what good it would do: meditation was not her thing.
Jon Li took hold of the door knobs; one in each strong hand, and pulled the sanctuary doors open wide. A musky smell of incense emanated from the shadowy room. He had already prepared candles on the altar. They created a soft orange glow in the sanctuary.
He stood back and she looked at him once more and stepped in. Then the heavy doors closed silently and he was gone. She walked towards the inner part of the sanctuary: the warm wood felt kind to the souls of her feet and she wondered if the experience would also be kind to her despairing mind.
The room was totally silent and warm and he had placed a thick rug in front of the altar. Its weave was natural and uneven and (like everything else in the room) it had been specially hand crafted. She stood in front of the altar: alone in the silence. He had told her to just let it flow – the energy – the chi – let it flow let it heal you. She didn’t understand what he meant: meditation was not her thing.
The light from the candles flickered around the inner sanctuary and it made shapes on the walls: illuminating different parts of the room.
She looked around and noticed a picture on the wall. The flickering light gave it a life of its own. It was his mother. She was very beautiful. She was a young Japanese woman dressed in traditional attire. Her hair was jet black like his. It was tied up on her head and fixed with a large wooden pin. Her face was as pale as porcelain, her lips tiny and perfect: painted red. She was holding the hand of a young child. The child was a little boy. He was smiling. They were standing together in a miniature Japanese garden and they looked so happy.
A large glass case to one side of the altar housed the mannequin of the Japanese warrior. Its cold face looked forward to the altar. It looked so real that it was almost an intrusion. It unnerved her.
The flickering candles bounced off the glass cases of the collection of Japanese swords behind the altar. The exquisite collection was neatly arranged in a row from the low ceiling downwards. She wondered how things of such beauty could have such a cruel purpose.
She stepped up to the altar. There were three silver incense holders – each holding three sticks of incense. There was a note (with simple instructions in front of each one) in Jon Li’s handwriting. His own handwriting (which she rarely saw) was beautifully scripted. It had been written with an ink pen (and like everything he did) it was perfect.
The first note read: Light meditation,
The second one read: Medium meditation
The third one read: Deep meditation.
Choose wisely.
He had placed a tapered wick to light the incense and she was thinking hard. Which one do I choose? Choose wisely, which one? I’ve no idea what to do here, this is just not my thing. What does he use? Perhaps the worse things are, the deeper you need to choose. They couldn’t be a lot worse. She picked up the taper, lit it on a candle, and ignited the third stick.
It read:
Deep meditation
The end of the stick glowed red and a steady stream of smoke trickled from the burning incense. She stepped back onto the soft rug and slipped her belt undone. The gown fell from her naked body. Her long hair settled on her back and tickled her shoulders. She had forgotten what it felt like to stand alone, and naked, with her hair loose. It was liberating. She sat down on the rug with her legs crossed, as she had seen him do in the past. Her hands were placed gently in her lap. She closed her eyes and waited, breathing in deeply through her nose. The incense smoke drifted towards her in slow, curling streams. With each breath in, it filled her lungs. The scent was like a million perfumes blended together in a cocktail of delicious intensity. She tilted her head back slightly and breathed it in deeply.
Nothing is happening…Nothing…Nothing…Nothing.
I must be doing it wrong. This is useless. What am I doing here?
This is just not my thing.
She tried to persuade herself that it would take time, but the minutes ticked by and she lost track of ‘real’ time. ‘Real’ time disappeared in the intensity of the incense and her body started to relax.
Relax…yes…that’s it….relax…Breathhhhhhhhhhe…Deeper, deeper, deeper. My head feels lighter. The smell is intoxicating. I must have been here ages, it feels like ages. It’s so peaceful and quiet. I think I can hear my heart beating.
Wait.
What’s that odd sensation? Where’s it coming from? Inside me! It feels weird. No…it feels amazing. It’s coming from my insides. So warm. Peace. So silent. I feel so light - floating. Is this real, or am I dreaming? Oh God. I don’t want to dream. It will be a nightmare.
Breathe deeply. Concentrate and block out the bad thoughts, that’s what he said.
Concentrate on clearing it all away. Allow yourself to just let go.
Let go.
His Sanctuary emanated peace and tranquillity and she drifted into a deep and meaningful state of mind. The barrier between reality and unconsciousness became blurred.
What’s that wonderful array of light? Are my eyes open or closed? I can’t tell…but…I can see clearly. It’s so…peaceful. The ache in my chest has gone.
Am I moving? I feel like I’m floating above the rug. I can’t move a muscle, but I am floating. The candles have grown huge. What’s that colour? Is it orange, or is it red, or is it something else? I’ve never seen that colour before, but it’s wonderful, exotic and its moving around the room.
What’s that sound? I think it’s the sound of horses running. Their hooves are thundering past. It must be my heart thumping. It’s racing so fast I can hear it in my ears. That must be what it is. It can’t be real horses. They are going now, far away, into the distance, running for their lives.
What’s happening to me?
The alien colour has covered the warrior. The glass it’s dissolving. Melting. How can the glass melt? It’s gone now, all of the glass. He’s standing there. His face looks alive. Is he moving? He can’t be real, but he looks real. He’s just a mannequin, it’s impossible. He’s speaking to me: talking about my life, my past, and my future. He says he is the future Jon Li. This has got to be some kind of hallucination.
What’s he telling me to do?
“To find the truth. Be brave. The blood of the innocent has been spilled. You must be strong for all our sakes. Trust in me. I will show you the way when the time is right. Trust in me, I am Jon Li of the future. Search for the answers. They are there, hidden under the layers, you just need to find for them. Trust your instincts, but most of all, trust in me.
I am your hope.”
What, wait, don’t go, not now. Tell me more. Tell me why!
It’s changing again. He’s going back, becoming a mannequin again – and – the glass it’s reforming around him. The colour, the sound, the warrior….
Saturday 21st July
Ellie opened her eyes and found that she was lying naked on the rug. She had been lost in time, in the sanctuary. It was now early morning. She had one last thought before she got up and left the sanctuary. I know what to do.
She put the gown back on, extinguished the remaining candles and left the sanctuary. It took effort to close the heavy doors on an experience which had left her changed. She went straight to the bathroom and took a shower to clear her head and refresh her body. Jon Li had already left for work and Agatha was cleaning, somewhere in the massive expanse of the penthouse.
She got dressed
and stuffed a few things into an overnight bag. While she was getting ready to leave, she was thinking about Bridget and the phone call a few days earlier. Bridget will understand. She sounded very upset when I spoke to her, but she did say come up and talk to me - stay for a while and - she’s a psychiatric nurse. He doesn’t need me here, like this. It’s making things worse. I don’t want to burden him with my problems and Agatha is getting on my nerves with her endless chatter. No one but Bridget would understand. I’ll go to Eden City today. I have to talk to Bridget.
Ellie sent a message to Jon Li on her Info-Pad. She didn’t remember re-charging it. Someone must have done it for her. The last few days had blurred into one under the effects of the medication. He would see her face as she spoke it in real time, and he would be at work when he got it, so she kept it discreet.
“Jon. I’m going up to Eden today to see Bridget. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Tomorrow I guess. No need to call me.”
Ellie looked at Jon Li’s picture on her Info-Pad. She ran her finger over his lovely face and felt a surge of love for his kindness. He would understand why she had gone.
She tapped in the Chauffeur’s number on her Info-Pad and Rexton’s face appeared on screen.
‘Rexton. Please could you collect me from the penthouse in fifteen minutes. Wait for me in the underground car park. I would like you to take me to the link,’ she said, and flipped the Info Pad shut.
Ellie liked Rexton.
Earlier she had used her Info-Pad to cancel the counsellor appointment that Jon Li had arranged. She had no intention of talking to a total stranger about such deeply personal feelings, no matter how much he had tried to persuade her.