She frowned, tracing his features with her eyes, wanting to touch him - always wanting to touch him, for three solid days now - but wanting to keep this moment as it was, forever. It felt so right, to be with this man. Her heart felt so full.
But should she talk to him about taking the medicine? Was that what the vision had been meant to tell her? Or were they too early into - this - to talk about such things, where she could end up sounding like a nagging wife?
She sighed and got out of bed, creating as little movement as she could. Stuart was a pretty deep sleeper. Scruffers was, too. The cat was curled up at Stuart’s feet. He had taken to hotel life surprisingly well. Ally was beginning to think the cat was really a human in a cat body. As long as he had food and water, he was happy. He often went into the cat carrier on his own, but mornings were his preferred time to curl up with his people.
His person, Ally corrected herself. You haven’t been around long enough to be his people yet. She did feel a special bond with the cat, though.
This was their last morning waking up on the road. They would arrive at her parents’ sometime this afternoon. Ally had come close to talking herself out of it, and going to see Stuart’s family first, or just staying in a hotel nearby. After all, their vision had been somewhere near Ally’s family, familiar, not necessarily at the house. And it seemed like the decisions they made so far, like getting the violin, were leading them to meet Stuart’s long-lost family.
She dressed slowly, stealing glances at sleeping Stuart, who looked angelic in a sexy Michaelangelo sort of way.
In the end, Stuart was the one who insisted. “Ally, they are your family.” He sounded a little impatient with her, like this was a concept she was stubbornly refusing to accept. (She admitted to herself, this was probably true.) “Don’t take them for granted. I’d give anything to have what you have.”
“You haven’t met them yet,” Ally had said wryly, but it was an unfair thing to say. As much as she was worried they - especially her mother - would harshly judge Stuart, with his Irish-Italian fashion model (Simmering? Sexy?) good looks and posh outerwear, they were good people. They never said a mean thing about a soul, as far back as Ally could remember. Even when her mother did give in to gossip, it seemed to be couched in an unironic sympathy. “But poor Erin, she must have felt just terrible about behaving that way in public.”
Plus, her father said her mother had some news that she hadn’t wanted to share over the phone. Ally couldn’t imagine what it was. Most of her mother’s news, since she had retired as a pre-k teacher, revolved around church: this bake sale, that fall festival. But her father had actually used the words “groundbreaking,” and “innovative.” It was a mystery, and it did make her look forward to the visit a little bit more.
She left a note on the stand, “Coffee!” Spontaneously, she added a heart. There, Cath, you happy?
Catherine had been invading her dreams a bit much. It made Ally feel a bit like the woman was being a voyeur. Just how much could she see? And all her advice was a variation on, “You’re still pushing him away. Stop that.” Ally felt completely defensive. How could she be accused of holding back, now? She had never thrown herself into anything half so much. She had spent nearly every waking moment with Stuart. She had been the one to initiate - well, a lot. And when he said incredibly gooey things to her, she let herself melt into the warmth.
What more did Cath want from her? Ally told herself the woman just didn’t know, that she hadn’t seen how much Ally had let Stuart in. She wasn’t astral projecting, after all. She couldn’t see their most intimate moments. (Or at least Ally really hoped not. That would be a mood killer, for sure.)
Coffee was close enough to walk, so Ally left the keys on the stand in case Stuart wanted to go out. The air was getting colder and colder, and Ally wondered if that was the scent of snow in the air. One of her favorite things was the smell of snow in the midwest. She hoped her ability to scent it hadn’t waned in her years away from the region
It was Sunday, which was usually a gather-round meal orchestrated by her mother, which her father on the grill in the summer. Whatever cousins and uncles and aunts .were available would come over, so it was rarely a small, timid affair. But her mother had said, last they’d talked, “We’ve invited a few extra people over.” This worried Ally greatly. The last thing she wanted was a surprise party. And her birthday was in two weeks. She wouldn’t put it past her mother to celebrate early, while she had her in her grasp.
She ordered two dark roasts, using the thermoses she had picked up for them at a dollar store the day before (along with snacks, paper towels, and bubbles, which Stuart impractically insisted on blowing in the car with the windows down). They weren’t the highest quality, but they did the job and were a little better for the environment.
“Your boyfriend is cute,” the barista - Maggie, her nametag read- declared as she handed her the filled mugs. The young woman had bright blue hair and thick eyeliner. Allyremembered her from the day before, but was surprised to be remembered; it had been busy when they had stopped in the afternoon before. “He’s-” not my boyfriend, she had been about to say. But he kind of was, wasn’t he? “Yeah, I think so, too.”
“Travelling far?”
“We’ve been travelling a few days, but not much farther. We are going to visit my family outside Joliet, so we should be there by this afternoon.”
Maggie ran a cloth over the counter, despite the fact that it already looked spotless. “I always liked that name. It reminded me of Juliet.”
“Me, too, in reverse. When I started learning about Shakespeare, I kept wanting to call her Joliet instead.”
“Ha! I think Shakespeare would approve.”
“He seems pretty open-minded. So, thanks… have a good day!” Ally added awkwardly.
Magpie brushed away the awkwardness by saying, “Maybe we’ll run into each other some time. I have family up that way, too.”
“Oh, cool! See you.” Ally doubted it, but it was a polite thing to say, and she was reminded of what a polite culture it was around here.
There were a lot of things she didn’t miss about home, but she did miss people showing common courtesy on a daily basis. It really wasn’t that hard, was it?
As she walked out, Stuart was approaching the door. “Hey, you,” he said, taking a coffee and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“I was just on my way back. Did I take too long?”
“I woke up when you left. It felt too quiet… But nah, I just wanted a walk, and thought I’d meet you and see if you wanted to walk, too.”
They walked for a while around the town, catching glimpses of churchgoers and the occasional other leisurely pedestrian, but the cold snap was keeping a lot of people in. “After it’s been winter a while, people will go out in five feet of snow. But at first, the instinct is to hibernate, sleep late… only for a week or two, though.”
“We caught a good time. This perfect Instagram statue is all ours.”
He feigned horror when she admitted she didn’t have Instagram, and told her he would be happy to bear the burden for them both. She leaned in and held her coffee close while he wrapped his arm around her and took a selfie. “Let’s do a filter that really brings out our rosy cheeks.”
“You’re cheeky.”
“Ah, good one.”
They walked leisurely back to the motel (which didn’t seem so bad now that Ally had gotten used to them; besides everything was better with Stuart around), and lounged for a while, before agreeing it was probably time to hit the road.
As they locked the door behind them, Ally had the sinking feeling that they were leaving the best times behind them, too.
***
They arrived at the house just as flurries began to fall. “Wow, it’s a real farmhouse!” Stuart sounded truly enchanted. “I thought you said they sold the farm.”
“Only the working acreage. Kept the house and some of the undeveloped land. My dad says he hunts back ther
e, but mom thinks he just goes back there to smoke.”
“Good, hope there’s not so much snow we can’t go back there, then....”
They pulled into the drive. “No cigarettes Stuart, please.”
“I’m okay, Ally, really.” He nudged her with his elbow. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
But I do, you silly man, and it’s all your fault.
“I could go for a cigarette, actually,” she said, eyeing the house with trepidation. Everything about it said comfort: slate covered roof, faded blue clapboard, ivy growing over the side of the wide porch with a porch swing. (So many hours she had spent daydreaming of a boyfriend on the swing with her, holding hands. But she had never taken David there.)
Stuart took her hand. “You’ve got this.”
Chapter 11
Stuart walked behind Ally as she knocked briefly, then entered the kitchen before anyone responded. “Mom? Dad?”
“Allison!” Her father was the first to come through the door. A few long strides brought him close to Ally, and he wrapped her up. “My big girl.”
“Dad! I’m not -”
“A kid. I know, sweetheart. I just can’t get over how big you are. You’ll understand someday.” He turned to Stuart, keeping one arm wrapped around her, without waiting for Ally to introduce this new face to the room. “Call me Clay.”
“Hi. I’m Stuart.”
“Did you have a nice trip?”
Stuart studied the man’s gaze for any hint of threat. Did you put hands on my little girl? But he saw nothing but an open, friendly expression. “Yes, sir, it was great. We have some pictures on Instagram if you’d like to see?”
Ally’s father raised his hands in surprise. “Allison, on social media! It must have been a special trip.”
“Dad.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s go settle you kids in. Your mother is just putting fresh sheets in the guest room now.” He grinned at Ally. “You have to put your own sheets on, of course.”
“I keep telling mom she can have my room. I took all my stuff.”
He placed a hand on her shoulder. “It will always be your room, as long as you’re our daughter - or until we sell the house,” he added nonchalantly. He either didn’t see Ally’s expression of dismay at the thought, or ignored it. “We both have all the space we need, anyway.”
“Holly!” he called up the stairs. “Ally’s home!”
Mrs. Wheeler ran down the stairs in a flurry, and swept Ally up in her arms. “I’m so happy you’re here today! You have no idea. You arrived just in time!”
She gestured to a sign hanging above them all: CONGRATULATIONS - the kind of banner you got at party stores. He saw the confusion on Ally’s face. “Congratulations?” she said quizzically. “For…?” He could almost hear her thinking: for breaking up with my boyfriend, for quitting my job, for showing up with a new guy you’ve never heard of before?
“It’s a party for your mother, Allison.” Her dad was glowing - not in the weird, death/life light way, but with pride. “She has an announcement, and it’s really something. You’ll be so proud when you hear.”
“Well? You’re not going to tell me?”
Ally’s mother - Holly, he reminded himself - said, with a wicked smile, “We are not. You’re going to have to find out with everyone else! We’ve been planning this party for two weeks to announce, and haven’t spilled the beans.”
“You weren’t going to invite me?”
Clay answered, “We knew it wouldn’t be easy for you to come, and we were going to tell you the news after. Now, Stuart, let me show you to your room and we’ll let the girls catch up.”
Stuart followed obediently, bracing himself to answer any questions about his intentions - which he felt were honorable enough - but Ally’s father only showed him the room and showed him which bathroom he could share with Ally. Only on his way out of the room, inviting Stuart to rest a while, did he add, “I’m glad you’re here, son. I never liked that other guy much. I have a good feeling about you.” He clapped him on the shoulder with a warm smile and was gone.
Stuart swallowed hard, feeling a sense of connection he wasn’t used to. He called me ‘son’. “Thank you,” he said, but not loudly enough to be heard.
He hadn’t brought anything in, so he had nothing to unpack, and he wasn’t sure about unpacking. They hadn’t decided how long to stay here, so it would probably be easier to live out of a suitcase. He smiled as he remembered Ally putting her things away in the hotel drawers each night. She said she was just comforted by the routine.
He laid on the bed. It was surprisingly comfortable, and he was also surprised at how tired he felt. He knew Ally was worried about him, and he suspected she had seen the same vision he had, but he didn’t want to talk about it. There was already enough of a feeling of being out of control involved with all of the visions and destiny stuff… he felt like if they talked about it, it was another kind of conjuring, that could solidify the happening. So it gave him an illusion of control, now, to pretend nothing bad could happen.
He was in love, and nothing bad could happen.
He wondered how long he should wait upstairs. Was he supposed to give Ally and her mother time to talk, or should he go down and help them prepare for the party? But what if they were talking about him?
And worse, what if they weren’t?
He threw his arm over his eyes and groaned. It had been days since he’d had such neurotic chatter in his mind, and he had almost believed he was cured - because everyone knew your issues were cured by relationships. Certainly no one had ever screwed things up by bringing all their hangups along with them into relationships.
Certainly he hadn’t. Ha! If only I could be delusional enough to convince myself of that. I’d be a much happier man.
He drifted off to sleep before he decided how long he should wait before going downstairs.
***
Ally waited for her mother to show her cards as patiently as she possibly could. Obviously she had directed Dad to get Stuart out of the room as soon as possible for a reason, and Ally didn’t think it was for the standard guilt trip.
“I can’t believe it’s been since Christmas since we’ve seen each other!” She took Ally’s hand and led her to the couch. She realized she hadn’t yet taken off her coat, so she shrugged it off and laid it over the arm of the chair to put away later. “I am so glad you’re letting your hair go curly again. It’s so pretty.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She self-consciously brushed a curl back, and had a brief and sudden flash of how it fell like a curtain over her and Stuart the night before, sealing them from the rest of the world… “You seem happy.”
“I am!” Her mother was alight with enthusiasm. “Things are amazing right now. My life is better than I ever dreamed.”
“Oh.” Something about her mother’s enthusiasm was foreign, though her mother hadn’t seemed unhappy exactly. Ally lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are you having an affair?”
Her mother laughed heartily, so her whole body shook. “Oh, my goodness, no. Men aren’t quite that interesting at this stage of my life.” Gathering her composure, she added, “other than your father, of course.”
“Of course.”
“So, what’s the deal with this young man?”
Did her mother even know? Could she even fathom what a big question that was?
“You know the day David proposed?”
“I do, even though you didn’t tell me and I had to get the YouTube link from Jill.” Ally decided not to ask why she was talking to Jill. “You looked so unhappy.” She blinked a few times, then exclaimed, “OH! I see now. Stuart was the man you kept looking at in that video, wasn’t he?”
Ally felt her face warm. “He was on the elevator with me… but honestly mom, I was on my way to meet Jill, and I was just planning to break up with David before.”
“Honey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
I don’t?
Her mother pla
ced a hand on her knee. “I just want to know, is he a good man?”
Ally nodded. “I like him a lot.”
“You love him.” Her mother said it so matter-of-factly.
“We’ve known each other a week.”
“What does that have to do with anything? I loved your father within five minutes of meeting him, and we weren’t trapped in an elevator of a burning building together. That’s very romantic, isn’t it?” Her mother sounded almost jealous, and Ally couldn’t help but laugh.
“What do you need to do to set up for the party?”
“Well, we’re getting it catered, believe it or not, but it’s nothing fancy, just a lot of pizza!”
“That sounds amazing. I’m so glad you’re not stressing out about this.”
Her mother waved her hand. “Well, when you see the project I’ve been working on, you’ll understand. It has put things in perspective, as far as what’s worth worrying about. That said, do be careful, sweetie.”
“Be careful?”
“Yes, I mean… not to be a cliche, but love can make us choose the wrong people. Make sure you’re on the same page about family.”
Ally sighed. Of course her open and free-spirit mother couldn’t last. She decided it would be easier not argue. “Okay, Mom.”
“It really doesn’t hurt to talk about these things early.”
“It does, it’s weird!”
“It’s worse if you’re with someone for 5 years, and then find out they don’t want kids.”
“Okay, let’s talk about something else… Actually, I think I should unpack the car. Stuart’s violin is in there, don’t want it to freeze.”
“Oh, cool, he plays the violin?”
Ally nodded. He had learned an impressive amount of songs over three days in a car, and Ally had sung a few of her favorites, and he had improvised the backup. “Beautifully.”
“Do you think he would play at the party tonight?”
With Death in Autumn Page 9