by Willow, Jo
He walked to the foot of the stairs and looked up, the hair on the back of his neck standing at attention. Something was wrong. He started up the stairs, taking them two at a time. All the while he hoped that he wasn’t too late to make it right.
Chapter Fourteen
One minute I was curled up in my little nest all warm and cozy and the next minute I was up in the corner of my room. Where had all the empty water bottles come from? There must have been at least a dozen of them crowded on my bedside table. I’m never that messy. I need to get those picked up soon.
The strangeness of my inner monologue hit me right about the time I saw Anton open the door and walk into the room. Damn he looked good. He always looked good. Wait a minute. Anton was there? In my room? What the hell was he doing in my room? And while I was asking questions, why was I looking down at him?
Anton walked to the bed and saw a tuft of blonde hair poking out from under the covers. He touched her shoulder and she didn’t move. He shook her and called her name. She still didn’t move. He ripped the covers from her body and pulled her into his arms.
“Mel’? Mel’, wake up baby. I need to talk to you.”
He began to shake her and that’s when he noticed how thin she was. He put his cheek against her mouth and felt her rapid and shallow breathing.
He put her back on the bed and felt for a pulse. It was there, but it was rapid and faint.
“Oh shit Melody! Wake the fuck up Mel’! You’re scaring me baby, wake up!”
He took her in his arms and stroked her hair away from her face while he cried tears of frustration and searched for his cell phone. He needed to call for help, but he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.
He tapped “911” with one hand and held her close with the other. He pulled her onto his lap to give her the warmth she was lacking, and that’s when he noticed how loose the ankle monitor had become.
His hands started shaking and he tucked her face against his neck.
“Baby please wake up and talk to me. I love you Mel’. I love you so much, please wake up and tell me that you can hear me.”
He loved me? Still? Huh. I should probably talk to him before he freaks out completely. He needs to go ahead and leave me alone. I can’t imagine why he’s in my house, much less in my room, and why is he touching me like that? Who the hell is he talking to?
Something happened and I felt a fog lift. As my thoughts became clearer, I felt a hard pull and then I watched my body getting closer. Weird kept getting weirder until I felt myself jump. Anton must’ve felt it too, because he dropped the phone and held my face with his hands.
“Baby?”
I felt so tired. I knew I was weak, but until I had to make a concentrated effort to focus, I didn’t know how weak. I’d been to the doctor earlier that morning, how had I gone downhill that quickly?
When I opened my eyes, his beautiful blue ones met mine full force. I saw concern, relief and bone numbing fatigue. His eyes were bloodshot and so tired, he had dark circles under them.
“Anton, you look like you need a nap. Are you taking care of yourself?”
His eyes crinkled with his smile and he crushed me to his chest in relief.
“Baby, I’ve been so worried about you. You’re not answering your phone and nobody’s heard from you in days. What in the hell is going on?”
I kiss his neck and breathed deeply. He smelled of the forest and Anton. I closed my eyes hoping to memorize the scent. He was so warm and inviting, I kissed his jaw, slowly making my way to his perfect lips.
He tilted his head slightly and touched the side of my face. His voice was soft, his words thick and slow.
“What are you doing baby?”
“Taking advantage of you while I can. You’ll be leaving me again soon.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because it’s always you that leaves.”
He leaned back and stared at me. I thought I should say something more, but elected instead to hold my tongue for a bit. Besides, what else was there to say?
Anton lifted me in his arms and started for the bedroom door. I put my arms around his neck and held on tight. He was carrying me down the stairs when he kissed my forehead.
“Mel, when was the last time you ate something?”
“I had a cup-a-soup yesterday. I’m eating when I get hungry. I just haven’t been very hungry lately.”
He carried me to the breakfast bar and placed me on a stool. He leaned around me and pulled an apple from a bowl on the counter. He took a paring knife from the magnet rack, and started slicing off small chunks. He ate one, and then offered me the next one. It tasted so good, I finished it in two bites. Back and forth we went until the apple was gone, then he reached for a banana.
“Mel’, an ambulance is going to be here any minute to take you to the hospital.”
“I don’t want to go to the hospital.”
I accepted the chunk of banana and popped it into my mouth. He moved slowly to plant a soft kiss on my lips. I leaned into him begging silently for more and he melded his lips against mine once more. When he pulled back, he slid his nose along mine and sighed.
My eyes were still closed as I stored this moment for future reference.
“Mel’, open your eyes.”
When I did, he was right there. I felt my heart jump start and my body begin to warm. God I needed to keep it together. I couldn’t start crying before he was gone or it would feel too much like the last time.
“Anton, why are you here?”
He tugged on my earlobe with his teeth before kissing the skin just beneath on my neck. I shivered and he felt it. I know because he put the knife down and stepped between my legs, pulling me closer.
“The official party line is that I was worried about you. No one’s been able to reach you - including Dorothy - and people were starting to get worried.”
His lips were skimming my jaw line and I closed my eyes on a moan.
“You said that was the party line. What’s the real reason you’re here?”
“I needed to kiss you.”
“That’s it? You interrupted work to come and kiss me?”
“I haven’t kissed you in days.”
“You think I haven’t noticed?”
“I haven’t slept either. At least you’ve been able to sleep.”
I pushed my lips against his and sucked his bottom lip between mine. When I felt the tip of his tongue, I pulled his hair to bring him even closer. He gripped my bottom and pulled me into him while the kiss turned hot and needy.
We couldn’t bear to break apart. We were devouring one another, our hands were busy getting reacquainted with one another’s body. If I was sleepy before, I was wide awake and buzzing now. Who needed caffeine? I had Anton.
At the sound of the heavy feet and equipment outside my door, Anton pulled back quickly and closed his eyes.
“Fuck. It’s the ambulance.”
“Ambulance? Babe, why did you call an ambulance?”
He was arranging himself for comfort and straightening his clothing.
“I couldn’t wake you up Mel’! You obviously haven’t eaten since we separated, and you scared the shit out of me girl! All I could think about was losing you and I panicked. I’m sorry.”
I grabbed his hand and threaded our fingers. He looked at our joined hands and swallowed hard.
When the bell rang, he pulled me with him towards the door. He looked at me as he reached for the doorknob.
“Ready?”
“Fuck no.”
“Tough.”
He opened the door and three large men stood there with a gurney. I smiled and we stepped aside.
Anton tried to be diplomatic.
“Gentlemen, please come in.”
They followed us into the living room and when I turned around, I took a long look at the man with the clipboard.
“Hey! I know you! You rescued me that night in the park!”
He leaned forward and cocked
his head. Then I smiled. His eyebrows shot up and he looked at Anton and winced. I couldn’t help it I laughed.
“Carrie and the phoney husband! I remember now! How are you head wound? You look good.”
“I’m better now, thanks. Sorry to get you guys here for nothing. I was sleeping so soundly he couldn’t wake me up and he panicked. I only got out of the hospital a little over a week ago and we’re still a little jumpy I guess. As you can see, I’m fine now.”
Clipboard guy was nodding in understanding, his cohorts looked bored. He looked at Anton while he continued to talk to me.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to check you out while we’re here? It wouldn’t be a problem.”
I waved my hand before putting my arm around Anton.
“I’m sure, but thanks. I think my blood sugar was low. I had some fruit and I’m much better now. Plus, I gave up caffeine a week ago. I feel like I’m catching up on all the sleep I’ve missed in the last ten years.”
That, he seemed to understand and he tossed his clipboard onto the gurney.
“I hear you sister. Giving up that one is a bitch.”
He looked at his friends and jerked his head towards the door.
“Okay, well if you’re sure, I guess we’ll be leaving. Keep an eye on that blood sugar and put on a little weight. You look rougher than you did that night in the park.”
“I feel rougher sometimes, believe me.”
I felt Anton’s body go rigid against mine at my statement. He released me so that I could walk them to the door, while he stayed in the living room. When I returned, he was seated comfortably on the sofa, his arm draped along the back. He’d taken off his jacket and his tie was loose. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, and he was looking at me.
I felt like I was fifteen and going on my first date. His eyes penetrated the wall I had carefully begun to build and felt it starting to crack.
“Mel’ come here and sit down. We need to talk.”
I have come to hate that phrase. I’m sure there are worse things you can hear, but I couldn’t think of one at that moment.
I had a confirmed bachelor millionaire who happened to be my alpha and omega, seated on my sofa looking like he might want to stay awhile. Under normal circumstances, I’d say all systems were go and I’d be planning breakfast for two for tomorrow morning.
These circumstances were anything but normal. We’d caused each other immeasurable amounts of pain and he was right. We did need to talk.
I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa and folded my legs up beneath me. The ankle bracelet was turned the wrong way and I reached down to turn it so that it was facing out, instead of lying against the bone of my other ankle. Once I was comfortable, I looked up to see Anton watching me closely. His eyes gripped mine and I couldn’t look away. I know the pain in his eyes mirrored the pain in mine and for once I wanted him to feel the full force of it.
“Why didn’t you let Chase take it off?”
His voice was rough with emotion and I had to swallow the lump of raw emotion before I answered.
“It meant a lot to you that I keep it on, so I did.”
“It meant nothing to me once I walked out that door.”
“Is that so? If it meant so little, then why did you race to my rescue today?”
“I was worried about Dorothy.”
“Dorothy was fine. You talked to her on the phone. It was me you couldn’t reach. Tell me something Anton. How many times in the last week did you check the monitor to see where I was?”
His eyes were still glued to mine and the honesty between us was impressive.
“A few times I guess. I lost track. Why?”
“Just curious. I didn’t want you to worry about me ever again. I’ve caused you enough worry for one lifetime. Staying home and keeping the bracelet on was the least I could do for you.”
“Too bad you didn’t come to that conclusion two weeks ago, we could have avoided everything that came after...”
“Maybe, maybe not. At the risk of sounding like my sister, I have a theory about that.”
He gifted me with a smirk that reached his eyes and he looked deliciously naughty. It made me miss him even more. Something told me that if I scooted across the sofa and crawled into his lap, he’d let me. He might even welcome me. It was that damned “might” word that made me hesitate and hold myself in check.
“Tell me your theory baby.”
“You do know that every time you call me baby it makes it worse.”
“Makes what worse?”
“You’re going to make me spell out everything aren’t you?”
“I am, yes. You see, I have a theory too and we’ll get to it. First though, I want to know what my calling you baby has to do with anything.”
I looked at my lap and began to play with the hem of my shirt. What did it matter? When push came to shove, I was still talking to Anton and he was still walking out the same way he walked in. These were quite likely the last moments I’d have his attention without interruptions or something to fight about. The fighting was done.
I continued to play with my clothing while I answered his question.
“Baby is a term of endearment. It’s what you called me when you loved me. Every time you say it now, it rips another piece of my heart out and quite frankly, I don’t have very many pieces left.”
“I still love you Melody.”
My head jerked up and I burned his baby blues with my own.
“So you say, but it didn’t stop you from walking out, did it? Pardon me for saying this, but I thought that you’d learned how to love someone from watching your parents. I can’t imagine either of them walking out on the other for any reason. Those two are rock solid Anton.”
He swallowed and I saw the hand that was on the back of the sofa move a little closer to me. If I leaned forward just a bit, he’d be touching me. We both wanted it and at least one of us needed it. I held back.
“You’re right. They are rock solid, and I think they’d die of loneliness if you separated them.”
“I know how that feels.”
He stared at me, but said nothing. He let my admission float between us for a moment before he remembered something.
“You said that you had a theory about why it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not you’d kept your promise the day you met the asshole for a drink. I’d like to hear it if you don’t mind.”
“You were never going to marry me Anton. We both know that. It’s not your style. Or maybe it is, but you haven’t met the right girl yet. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. I’m not her and never have been. You proposed because you felt pressured to do so. If it hadn’t been my mistake with Tony, it would have been something else. You’d have found a good reason to leave because I’m not perfect and never will be. You’re a “bottom line” kind of guy, so here it is: I’ve loved you so long I don’t know how to stop. And every time you break my heart, you break my spirit just a little bit more. Ten days ago you walked away from me and I gave up. You wanna know why I didn’t answer my phone? I had nothing to say. I quit working, I quit eating and I quit caring.”
I pulled my hair back over my shoulders and leaned away from the hand that had been creeping closer. My back was now leaning heavily against the arm of the sofa and I’d pulled my knees up in front of me, almost as if I were using them as a protective barrier between us. My part of “show and tell” was over and I was ready to curl back up and take another stab at sleep. The adrenaline rush was over and I was once again, bone tired.
Anton moved so fast I missed it. Somehow, the creeping hand slid down, grabbed my foot, and pulled. I felt my body slide towards him and then he was hovering over me. He was watching my face for clues. I knew the look, I’d seen him use it on me before. If I so much as whispered the word “no”, he’d move away and help me up. I stayed as still as a stone and waited for whatever came next. I had nothing to lose and that made me a little more likely to take a chance.
>
We were both fully clothed and under the circumstances, we were as close as we could get. His legs were between my own and he slowly lowered his body while he watched me closely. His forearms fell along my body beside my breasts, his hands rested on my shoulders and began a gentle massage that I found distracting and pleasant. When he settled his hips against mine, both of us felt the jolt.
“Oh my god Anton.”
“I know baby, I know. Wanna hear my theory?”
I wiggled beneath him and he groaned, pressing down with his pelvis to keep me still.
“Stop that Melody, we’re not done talking yet.”
“Right. Tell me your theory.”
“I think our problem from the beginning has been communication.”
“Communication? There’s no communication between us, you tell me what to do and then I do the exact opposite to prove a point.”
He chuffed and rubbed his nose against mine.
“You admit that?”
“Why deny it? We both know it’s the truth. You like being bossy and I don’t like being bossed around. No news flash there stud. Does your theory have a talking point? A proposed resolution?”
He reached down with one hand and retrieved something from his pocket. I wasn’t paying very close attention because I couldn’t get past the feeling of having him so close and it being his idea.
I put my arms around him and started running my hands over the muscles on his back. His body’s response was immediate and I found myself relieved that at least one thing hadn’t changed between us.
He reached for one of my hands and I wasn’t paying attention which one, my focus was on him pulling my hand away from his body. I let the other one fall and he wove his fingers through the one I’d pulled away voluntarily.
“What are you doing besides confusing me Anton?”
“Touching you. It seems that it calms me down.”
“It calms me down too.”
“Yeah?”