Thank the mother goddess, she seemed to get the message.
And we were off to find the prick yet again.
CHAPTER 6
ack at Cactus’s home, things didn’t go quite as I planned. As he tried to convince Lark he hadn’t slept with Maggie, all I could think was that he was protesting an awful lot for his supposed innocence.
“You do whatever you want, prick,” I snapped, wanting nothing more than to use his groin for a scratching post, “I need to speak with my charge alone.”
Cactus laughed softly. “Maybe you will make her a good familiar, bad luck cat. At least you’re loyal.”
I didn’t even try to stop the low hiss that slipped past my lips, or the way my fur stood at attention. He was mocking me, and hurting Lark. A very bad combination as far as I was concerned. Lark bent and scooped me up, and I had to fight the wave of nausea that rolled over me. My body hurt from the tip of my nose to the tip of my tail, but I didn’t want Lark to put me down. Being close to her helped soothe the pain.
“A room, Cactus,” she said softly.
He gestured to the left and a doorway opened. “Lark, you know me. Maggie isn’t my type in the least.”
She nodded, and through the bond, I felt her certainty about his motives solidify. She trusted him. I wouldn’t have given in to him so easily. “I know, Cactus,” she said, “Still, it looked bad.” Lark stopped in the doorway, and placed a hand on his chest when he would follow us. And yet again she surprised me by looking to me for advice. “Peta, this is your call.”
I didn’t want to trust him. I knew too much about him and his past, about the way he’d played women for fools. Yet she seemed determined to see him in a different light. A sigh slipped out of me. “If you trust him, then I will too. He may hear what I have to say.”
Once in the room, I knew that I had to give myself over to this once and for all. I would be Larkspur’s familiar through and through. I told her the secret about Loam, about the place of knowledge and how it could help them maybe save her friend.
But it wasn’t a place to take lightly. I shivered thinking of the way Loam had drawn my energy from me in order to open the doors, the hurt he’d carelessly inflicted on me so he could avoid taking responsibility for his actions.
“Peta, take us there.”
“Now?” She had to be kidding. It was late, the night bells would toll soon and if we were caught . . . this time I knew there would be no turning back for the queen. She would kill us both.
Lark nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. “Yes. Now.”
Like that, we were off.
As we walked, she held me gently in her arms, but even so, my breathing was rough. I tried to keep it even, so she wouldn’t feel it. But there was no denying the gurgle in my lungs, or the way my body had a continuous tremor running through it. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. An unspoken question hovered around us, so I answered it.
“That’s why I can’t shift right now,” I said. “A shift when I’m so injured would surely puncture my air bags and I would be of no use.”
Her one hand stroked along my back, gently, as soft as feathers being brushed against my fur. I closed my eyes and sank deeper into her arms. Time and patience was what I needed to heal this kind of injury. Neither of which we truly had. If a fight came, I would be all but useless to Lark.
“Cactus, stop a minute,” she said, then directed her words to me. “We’re connected, aren’t we?”
I narrowed my eyes, wondering what she was getting at. “We are.”
“And I can draw energy from you, if I need to be healed?”
“Yes.” That was something she already understood, so why the question now?
She closed her eyes. “Then let’s reverse the flow.”
“No, it doesn’t work that way. It’s not how things are supposed to be,” I said, already knowing that her idea, though generous, was silly. Familiars did not draw from their charges, it wasn’t possible.
And yet I felt Spirit weave through me and with it the smell of cedar and lush greens—not unlike the haven Cactus had created. The smells preceded the shifting of bones and flesh as my body healed itself within seconds. But it wasn’t only the power of Spirit that had healed me, Lark had pushed some of her own life force into me as well, giving me some of herself. I gasped while Lark swayed lightly under me.
“Stupid, Dirt Girl! You aren’t supposed to sacrifice your life for me. It’s supposed to be the other way around!” I glared up at her while I fought the tears that prickled. No one had ever done anything like that before. Not even my first charge and he would have been the only one who could have.
Lark shrugged and I leapt from her arms, immediately shifting to my snow leopard form.
I didn’t know how to feel. Terralings were supposed to be useless and stupid. The lowest of all the elementals in power and worth. Yet she was showing me minute to minute, she was neither of those. Her heart was stronger than all twelve of the charges I’d held onto in the past.
“I can’t have you slowing us down,” she said.
My back stiffened. “I would not have slowed you down.”
The prick patted me on the base of the tail. “Yeah, you were, kitten.”
If he had not been there to help us, I would have spun and raked him in the face with my claws. But that would have slowed us down and likely Lark would have wasted precious energy healing him.
Going ahead of them, I led they way while they spoke. What in the name of the mother goddess was I supposed to feel now?
Stop fighting this, Nepeta. You are meant to be with Larkspur. I have trained you by sending you with each of the other charges. From each of them you have learned and grown. I needed a familiar who is strong and smart and loyal to the core for my chosen one. That familiar is you. Do not doubt it for one second.
The mother goddess spoke to me softly, but with a strong flavor of rebuke in her words. She was right, I’d been fighting this even while a part of me had wanted to let Lark in.
I warred with myself, vacillating between bonding truly with the Terraling, and keeping her at tail’s length.
We reached the tiger fountain and I explained to Lark how it worked. Or at least, how I thought it worked with there being some sort of latch or button within the boiling water.
Lark of course put her hand in, and found the latch on the first try. But even that quick dunk into the boiling water hurt her. Her arm was bright red and in spots pale blisters were starting to appear, though I didn’t think she could see them yet with her eyes.
“Draw on me, Dirt Girl. Loam did. I know the pain will be temporary,” I said.
She nodded and the pain flowed from her into me. The pain was not new; I’d bore it many times while serving as a guide and familiar to Loam. Under my fur, my skin prickled. At least I was able to spread the hurt over my entire body rather than have it concentrated on one section. My skin heated until it felt as though I had been in the sun for days with my bare skin exposed and then my fur stitched back on. Not as bad as being dunked in boiling water, but not exactly pleasant either.
Lark stopped drawing on me though too soon; her arm was still several shades too pink and would be noticed. That was something we did not need.
I pushed up against her. “Fiametta will know. You should take more from me.”
“I’ll wear a long-sleeve shirt,” she said. “I can’t take all your strength, Peta. I need you. And I don’t like causing you pain. How often did Loam come here?”
“Daily.” The word slipped out of me before I thought better of it and it was only then that I allowed myself to recall why I didn’t want to bring Lark here. What if she wanted to come back again, and again, and again? While I’d been in the Pit with Loam, my body had never truly healed. Always I was trying to heal, only to have to take on his burns again.
Lark looked at me, and compassion flowed through the bond. She didn’t have to say the words for me to know what she was thinking.
She would not
do that to me.
We went inside the tiny space of a library, searching for a way to free her friend. And to get us all out of the Pit in one piece. The time ticked by far faster than I’d hoped and the night bells tolled without warning. There was no denying them this time as fatigue knocked all three of us to the floor. I curled up beside Lark and let out a heavy sigh of relief.
The dream that sucked me under was one I had not had for many years. A dream of the past, of my first charge.
Talan grinned at me, a wide smile under a pair of sparkling blue eyes. His hair hung to his shoulder and was messy and wild. “Nepeta, I’ve missed you.”
I ran to him, leaping into his arms and burying my nose into the crook of his neck. “Talan, oh, you have no idea how I’ve missed you.”
His hands stroked over my back, ruffling my fur. “Cat, you’ve got a challenge ahead of you with this one. You know that, right?”
“I do. She is not you, Tal. You will always be my favorite.”
He laughed, and then held me out from him. “That is not true. I see the bond between you two already and it is strong after a single day. She is the heart mate you have been waiting for. But that makes me happy.”
A soft cry escaped me. “No.”
“Yes, she is good for you. A little bit wild, a little bit reckless, but also grounded. The perfect blend of Spirit and Earth.” He put me on the ground and beckoned to me. “Come, walk with me a moment.”
I trotted beside him, feeling like I was two hundred years younger and that perhaps all my lost charges had been nightmares that I’d finally woken up from.
“No, this is the dream, Nepeta,” he said and there was more than a bit of sadness. “I’m sorry I had to let you go. It was as the mother goddess wanted.”
Let me go . . .surely he didn’t think it was his fault that the Sylph had killed him, did he? “What do you mean let me go? I saw you get sucked up in the tornado, I felt our bond break as death took you. There was nothing you could have done to stop that.”
He glanced at me and gave me a smile. “Peta. I broke the bond between us. The mother goddess had other plans for you.”
My feet stopped as if grabbed by a bog of death mud. “What?”
“I am not dead, Peta.”
I leapt for him, not sure if I wanted to wrap my paws around his neck or claw his eyes out. I clung to him and he held me as I screamed in his ear. “You bastard, do you know what I’ve been through? Do you know the things I’ve suffered and the reality of my life? Do you not think for one second I was . . .you thought I wasn’t good enough for you any longer.” The words slipped out of me and I pushed away, running into the fog of my dream.
He was like all the others. I wasn’t good enough and so he’d let me go. No, the mother goddess thought I wasn’t good enough for him and she’d made him let me go.
That bitch.
“Nepeta.” Talan was suddenly in front of me and I skidded to a stop. Damn dreams and their lack of reality. “I am alive, and it is almost time for you to bring Larkspur to me. I will train her.”
“She doesn’t need you,” I spit out, as I arched my back. “She’s stronger than you.”
His lips twitched. “You see, already you have chosen her over me.”
I had, and I didn’t care. “She would never put me aside. Not even for the mother goddess.”
Talan crouched in front of me. “Perhaps that is true. Will you bring her to me, when I come to you again?”
I hunched my shoulders. “I will give her the choice. I will not force her.”
“That is all I ask.”
Hunching myself further, I fought the tears and then gave up, looking to him. “You broke my heart, Tal. You broke it into a thousand tiny pieces and I have been trying to fix it for so long. And then Lark comes into my life and those pieces are flowing back together. Having you show up now . . . it isn’t fair.”
“No, but that is how the mother goddess works, isn’t it? Fair is not her middle name, kitten.”
I had to smile at that, and it was as if my smile broke the dream apart.
Lark was already awake, but her thoughts were being kept from me. I wasn’t worried, but I should have been. Talan was right about her, she was a bit wild, and also grounded. A deadly combination when it came to her setting her mind on something.
CHAPTER 7
s we left the hidden library, Lark gave Cactus directions. So she did have a plan. My curiosity got the better of me.
“What are you doing, Dirt Girl?”
“I’m going to confess,” she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world to take someone else’s place in death. Like she was telling me we were going to have tea and cookies with a friend.
“No!” I roared, leaping in front of her and physically blocking her from moving forward. “I will not allow it. You and I both know those Enders were killed after they were healing. You would at most have a lashing, and yet even that would kill you here in the Pit! Your death is not deserved, Larkspur. You can’t do this.” I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking. I could not lose her. Damn Talan for putting the thought in me. I did not want it to be true.
I would not admit even to myself that she was quickly becoming my world. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around my neck. I pressed my mouth against her collarbone, my teeth chattering against her skin. I could not keep my emotions in check—especially after seeing Talan alive and realizing how much Lark already meant to me. I had to stop her from this madness.
No matter what it took, no matter what I had to do I had to keep her from confessing.
“Peta, I don’t plan to die,” she said. “Belladonna will get me out of this and if I have to . . . I will fight my way out.”
I gasped and then pulled back to stare at her. A little wild? Perhaps more than a bit. None of my other charges had ever even considered fighting another elemental, even when it was warranted.
“I’m not like the other elementals. I won’t go down without a fight. Trust me. Please.” She begged me both with her words and the bond between us to understand her. And a part of me did. But the other part . . .
“You would be banished, anathema to all who met you. Your life would be over; you would be the walking dead. For what? A single life freely given in exchange for yours?” Could she truly mean to do this?
“No one will die, Peta.”
That was easy for her to say. She was young and hadn’t seen how very hard the world could be, and how cruel the mother goddess was at times.
She put a hand on my head, her fingers working deep into my fur. “Peta.”
I dropped my head and rolled my eyes up so I could look at her still. “Larkspur, please do not ask me to do this. To watch you offer up your life. You will be the thirteenth charge the mother goddess has given me. I cannot bear to watch you die, too.”
“Walk with me.” She put her hip against my shoulder and I reluctantly let her push me so we were again moving forward. I knew she could find her way to the throne room. There was the large statue of Fiametta already twinkling at us from a distance. In only a few more strides we were at the large doors. Fiametta’s voice could be heard clearly, at least to my ears.
“Trust me to come out of this alive, Peta,” Lark said.
“That is what my first Spirit charge said right before he died trying to save a friend,” I whispered. Talan had done that very thing, told me to trust him as he dove into the tornado to save his friend. And they’d both died. Or at least, I thought they had.
Lark faced Fiametta like only a true warrior could. Without fear for herself, only thinking of those she wanted to save.
It took all my strength not to leap in front of her and knock Fiametta flat, to urge Lark to run and escape the Pit. To make her see that there was no good way this could end.
Trust. The word was hard for me to swallow, yet I did anyway. Lark had a plan, and I would trust in it as she had trusted in me to give her good advice. A relationship of give and take, o
f trust and understanding.
Even Talan hadn’t trusted me completely, for if he had there would have been no deception at the end. He would have broken the bond between us and walked away. I’m not sure that it would have been any easier, but it would have at least been honest.
Fiametta led Lark to her personal chamber, and when I moved to follow, the queen stopped me, her blue-eyed glared hot on my fur. “This is not for you, familiar. I see your hand in this; you took her to the library, giving her access that only Loam had.” She pointed at the paper Lark still clutched.
I tipped my head to one side, a burning desire to lash out growing strong in me. “You are not my queen any longer, Fiametta. I obey Larkspur, no one else.”
Fiametta’s hands clutched at her side, and her eyes. Oh, if looks could kill I’d be dead and buried ten feet under.
Lark put a hand on my head and calm flowed through her into me. “Wait for me. Please.”
Reluctantly, I nodded and sat outside the door. “I will come if you call.”
The door slammed behind them and I sat quietly, breathing slowly in through my nose and out my mouth. Focusing on the rise and fall of my chest and trying not to think of all the awful things the queen could be doing to Larkspur. This was the part of being a familiar that I hated. The moments where I could do nothing to help.
Yet the bond between Lark and me was steady and her life force was strong giving me a measure of certainty that it would be all right. A sudden burst of power flowed through her, disrupting my meditation. Earth, that was what she’d pulled on. Only a second, and then the power was gone and the ground was still.
“Peta.”
Lark called for me and I spun, pushing the doors open. Fiametta was sunk to her neck in the rock. I lowered myself to my belly and crept forward.
“Lark, what has happened?”
“I need you to get Cactus. Hurry,” she said, and a thread of worry floated between us.
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