by Leah Leonard
“Good. We'll have a great time this summer, you'll see."
"Oh don't worry," Sarah smiled. "I intend to have the best summer ever."
“Promise?”
“Absolutely!”
"That's the spirit," Maureen patted her on the back. "C'mon. Let's go get some lunch."
And so it began…
****
During the next month and a half, Sarah tried her best to forget Ghazi. When they first arrived, she half expected him to track her down, proclaim his affections for her, but that never happened. Over time, she reminded herself of what he had done and why there was no hope, and little by little, day after day, she finally forgot about him altogether.
With Ghazi out of her mind and her heart, Sarah spent the remainder of her magical Turkish summer doing exactly what she promised Maureen she would - having the absolute time of her life.
Over the next month and a half, the scholars toured every inch of Istanbul and the surrounding area, studying the ancient buildings with an insider's view to all the wonders of antiquity Turkey had to offer.
They took a side trip down to Ephesus, scouring the ancient ruins once thought to be home to the Virgin Mary.
They passed the road to Troy on the way, and that afternoon was tough on Sarah as she remembered what a great time she had with Ghazi.
Still, time moved on and she kept busy and had never been happier.
World renowned scholars and experts in their fields escorted the group around and provided such an amazing education on Turkish culture and history, Sarah believed she would have no problem landing herself a position as a professor and expert in her field of social anthropology once she finished up her degree.
Each day brought new insights and new discoveries. They toured museums, spending entire days pouring over research related to various artifacts of the Ottoman Turk Empire. The famed Blue Mosque, Topkapi Palace and frequent shopping trips to the amazing Grand Bazaar were among the highlights of the region, not to mention the stunning Bosphorus River running around and through the ancient city.
For Sarah, one of the highlights was Dolmabahçe Palace, the largest palace in all of Turkey. As student of social anthropology, Sarah found the tour incredible. The waterfront structure was once home to the Ottoman fleet and had stunning gardens. Countless rulers and dignitaries had graced the palace grounds over the centuries. She made sure to take plenty of pictures of all her adventures, knowing one day she would share those with her students.
Despite the excitement, toward the end of summer, Sarah felt increasingly run down. She thought she might be catching a cold, which would be the last thing she wanted to have happen on the trip.
The scholars were required to attend lectures and take exams, which would count toward their academic records back in the States. Sarah couldn't afford any illness to come between her and making her usual straight A's.
After her tour the day before, she managed to pick up some vitamin C at a local drugstore, hoping that might help, but despite her best efforts to act energized, plus going to bed extra early and trying to stay hydrated, she staggered around the grounds of the Dolmabahçe Palace, and became so dizzy, she tried steadying herself against the stone walls of the structure.
Maureen had become a good friend during the past several weeks. She approached her and put a hand on Sarah’s shoulder. "You all right?"
"Yes," Sarah lied. With the others in the group still treating her like an outsider, the last thing she wanted was for anyone to think she was performing at anything less than her best.
“Well, all right then. Let me know if you need me, kiddo.” Maureen walked ahead.
To Sarah’s dismay, her dizziness grew worse until her head felt like she'd been riding a tilt-o-whirl at a carnival. Her stomach soured in a flash, and before she could catch herself, she tumbled to the ground and darkness descended on her.
****
When she woke, Sarah stared up at Maureen who stood over her, fanning her face and rubbing smelling salts under her nose. “She’s coming back to life.”
Panic gripped her. She tried to get up. "Where am I?"
"Whoa," Maureen ordered, pushing her shoulder so she was forced to lie back down. "You took a little spill."
"I did what?" Sarah blinked and tried to get up again, but the swirling in her head forced her to remain on the ground.
"Here she is." Maureen shouted, waving her arms and calling to the others.
To her horror, Sarah saw the faces of all her fellow students encircled around her blocking her from the sun. Had she felt any better, Sarah would have been mortified about causing such a commotion, but as it was, her head felt so light still, she could hardly protest at all. How embarrassing!
"You okay, Sarah?" Maureen asked.
“Yes, yes,” She insisted, trying to get up again, thanks to the renewed energy of humiliation. With Maureen’s help, she was finally able to sit upright. The world slowly came back into focus. "What happened?"
"We're at the Dolmabahçe Palace, remember?" Maureen asked.
She did, vaguely. “Yes, of course.”
The panicked tour operator ran up to her carrying a piece of fresh baked bread and a bottle of water. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," Sarah lied. Her stomach still felt queasy. She prayed she wouldn’t barf all over them.
"Eat," he said. "Drink some water. Perhaps you got overheated."
They walked Sarah over to a shaded stone bench where they helped her sit down and she tried a small piece of bread. The smell sickened her. She began to heave and wretch and had to fight off the urge to vomit. "Oh…I can't eat this."
The poor tour operator looked horrified. "I am sorry. Perhaps it's the bread. I can get you something else."
Laughing heartily, Maureen shook her head. "Do what you want, but I can tell the bread's not the problem."
To her horror, Sarah couldn’t control the urge any longer. The smell of that bread nauseated her beyond belief. She clawed and grasped for her shopping bag, turned her head and vomited.
"Then what is it?" the tour operator asked. “Shall I fetch an ambulance?”
"No, no, no. Can't you tell?” Maureen studied her. “No doubt in my mind. She's pregnant."
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sarah refused to listen to what Maureen blurted out in front of everyone. How embarrassing, not to mention false! There was no way she was pregnant. Not too long ago, Sarah was an innocent, inexperienced, virgin. It simply wasn't possible for someone like her to be pregnant. She winced when she noticed her latest bag of postcards was ruined. Despite what everyone said, it couldn’t be the heat. It really wasn’t all that bad out today. It was probably bad food. They did have some spicy vegetables last night…or maybe it was the fruit this morning. Who knew?
As it turned out, the rest of the group climbed back on the bus. Maureen was nice enough to go with Sarah and the tour operator in a taxi back to the dorm so she could get some rest.
The tour guide kept insisting she see a doctor, but Sarah adamantly refused. She and Maureen went back to their room where Sarah washed her face, brushed her teeth and climbed into bed. As much as she tried, she was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep.
When she woke sometime later, Sarah still felt disoriented and exhausted. She glanced around the room.
Maureen reclined in her bed reading a book. "Feeling better, sunshine?"
Pressing her palms on the mattress, Sarah tried to lift herself up, but instead managed only to turn to her side and face her friend. "A little. I still feel woozy. Maybe that melon we ate was bad. Aren’t you feeling bad too?"
Maureen laughed.
"What?"
"Oh nothing…" She flipped the pages.
Sarah frowned. "I'm still mad at you, by the way."
"For what?"
"Making a fool out of me in front of the group today."
"How did I do that? You were the one who passed out, remember?"
Sarah sighed. "You told them I was preg
nant. I'm not."
Maureen raised her eyebrows.
"I'm not!" Sarah insisted. “It’s not possible.”
“What are you the Virgin Mary? Did Ephesus get to you a little bit, hon?” Maureen teased.
“No, of course not.”
Maureen tossed her book aside, swung her legs from her bed and faced Sarah. "Hon, I'm a few years older than you, in case you haven't noticed. I’m no expert on much in this life. I’m darned lucky to be here right now, if truth be told, but I've got five kids at home and a couple of grandkids. I may not be the brightest bulb in the pack, but I do know when someone’s gonna have a baby."
Sarah froze. No, this couldn't be. "You’re wrong. It’s probably something I ate."
“You and me both ate the same things, kiddo,” Maureen said.
“You’re wrong,” Sarah insisted.
"Wanna bet?"
****
Thirty minutes later after Maureen returned from the local drugstore, Sarah held a plastic stick in her hand. "What will we wager? Dinner? A drink?"
"No drinking for you, hon," Maureen said.
"Fine, you're about to see how wrong you are." Sarah stepped into the bathroom to attend to the business of proving her point.
To her horror, within minutes, she glanced at the stick and froze when she saw the + sign illuminated in bright pink. "No!" She opened the bathroom door, tears streaming down her face.
"I hate to say it," Maureen shrugged, "but I told ya so."
Sarah sank in her bed, covered her eyes with her hands. "What am I going to do?"
"Well, I suppose first things first," Maureen said. "Who's the father?"
Sarah broke into a full-blown bawl at that point. The man she swore she would never see again or give a second thought to really had ruined her life.
"Ah…" Maureen said. "Him. Mr. Playboy himself, huh?"
Sarah nodded in between her sniffles.
"Well, I know what I said about men, but hon, you have to tell him." Maureen handed Sarah a tissue.
Sarah sniffed. "You don't understand. I can't."
"Why not?”
A flood of conflict washed through Sarah's mind and she started crying harder.
“Don't you think you owe him that much?" Maureen asked.
What about her life she had so neatly planned? When she got home, she was going to land herself a good paying job to support herself. Now what? How could she provide for someone else? Her parents left a reasonable inheritance, but not enough to last a lifetime if she didn't work. As it was things would be tough, but with an extra mouth to feed, she would need far more than what she originally expected for her new child. She would be the sole provider and breadwinner. Even after she got established, which she knew could take up to ten years or more, by the time she finished school, started teaching and earned tenure, she had no idea how she would make ends meet.
That was just it. She hadn’t even graduated yet! This was a disaster! She couldn't become a mother!
Still, she could no more consider her pending motherhood than she could contemplate getting rid of her baby. Her hands fell to her abdomen. "What am I going to do?"
Maureen sat next to her on her bed, wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "It will be all right. I promise."
"I'm scared, terrified," Sarah cried.
"I know. You can do it though. You're a smart girl, still young, so many great opportunities in front of you. Believe me hon, I did it with a lot more kiddos than just one, but…"
Sarah pulled away, wiped her eyes. "What?"
"Ya gotta tell him. It would be a lot easier if you weren't in this alone."
"But I am," Sarah shouted. "Don't you see? You read it yourself! Ghazi is a…playboy. You have no idea!" Sarah expelled a long sigh.
“They all are, to some degree, hon,” Maureen offered. “I hate to say it, but it’s true.”
"What if this is wrong?" Sarah held up the stick, filling her mind with false hope.
"I've never seen one that was so far, but…" Maureen shrugged. "ya never know…"
"Shouldn't I go see a doctor first?"
"Do what you want, but when the doctor confirms this for you, I still think you owe it to Mr. Stud Muffin to let him know about the little stallion you're carrying. If nothing else, the man needs to provide child support, and Lord knows that family has plenty of money for that."
****
To her dismay, Sarah visited the doctor that afternoon and her pregnancy was confirmed. Dear God! How could she have been so irresponsible? How could she let this happen? Especially with someone as careless as Ghazi?
By the time the doctor showed her the tiny heartbeat on the monitor, the baby was real for Sarah. There would be no going back. The two of them were going to have to find a way to make it in the world, probably with very little money. Sarah hadn't been this frightened since right after her parent's death. Back then she had been so unsure of how she would survive that tragedy, and she did, so she had to assume somehow she could make it through this too. But how?
Her summer was almost over and soon she would have to go back to the States and her life. She thought about how she would handle it, if she could remain in school, or if she would need to drop out and get a job. She had no family around, no help whatsoever. It didn’t matter. Whatever the case, she would do it. She had to. She loved her baby already. Almost as much as she loved its father…
Maureen had been a true friend to her this summer. With all she'd done for her the past few days, Maureen had transcended mere friendship and felt more like family. Sarah had to respect her opinion. She'd become a sort of surrogate mother, reminding Sarah of just how much she missed her parents.
The truth was, Maureen was right. She hated to do it, but she needed to tell Ghazi. She formulated a plan in her mind. She would go back to the beach house, and with any luck, she wouldn't find him there with that crazy blonde or anyone else, but even if she did, so what? He was going to be a father and deserved to know. He might turn his back on her completely, or he might actually step up to the plate.
She had to be realistic about her expectations though. The pain of building herself up, daydreaming about some far off fantasy about marriage and happily ever after wouldn’t work. She had to stop hoping for something that wouldn't happen.
Stress was something she couldn't afford for either herself or her baby. But then again, there was a good chance Ghazi would provide for his child financially. If he did, it would prevent her from having to give up her school and dreams of becoming a professor. Even if they weren't together as a couple, surely Ghazi would want the mother of his child to have a stable life, right? In the long run, his child would benefit from her comfort and happiness. Money was not an issue for him, but she had to remind herself that financial support aside, she needed to brace herself for the inevitability that Ghazi would only provide for her monetarily. If he didn't love her before, which he obviously didn't, he wouldn't love her now. That was the most painful part of this whole mess.
She failed to contain her emotional attachment to him before, but she had to now. This wasn’t about her anymore. Her child needed support regardless of the mess she'd made with her baby's father.
Ever since she found out about the baby, she realized that on some level she still loved Ghazi, and never stopped. How could she not? She was carrying his child. She only wished things could have worked between them. She longed for him to hold her, tell her things would be okay, and mean the kind words he spoke to her, but Ghazi couldn't even make it through one round of lovemaking without bringing up all the other women he'd been with and then having one show up at his door.
She also tried to prepare herself by imagining the worst-case scenario – that Ghazi would accuse her of impregnating herself to get his money. Surely he would not think that. Pregnancy was the last thing Sarah ever wanted for herself. But still, Ghazi might be so angry he would refuse her both his money and his heart.
The fact of the matter was this - Sarah need
ed to be prepared for anything at this point. She had no way of knowing what she would be dealing with when she dropped this bomb on him.
****
Within the hour, Sarah was sitting in the back seat of a taxi headed to the airport where she booked a flight back to the place she ran away from. Maureen promised to take notes for her, and her plan was to return in three days – plenty of time to take her final exams and finish up her work before heading home to Texas.
The flight was relatively uneventful and soon, Sarah was in another cab heading toward the Deniz residence. She hoped she could remember how to get there, but fortunately, the cab driver knew exactly how to find the palatial estate. The Deniz family were dignitaries in their little village.
She gazed at the cliffs, marveled at the Aegean and remembered the ride she took with Ghazi on the way up these winding roads less than two months ago.
How things changed since then! She was no longer a child, an inexperienced novice in the ways of love and romance. She'd lost her virginity out here and so much more. Now she was a mother.
Her earlier fear about what Ghazi would say when he discovered her secret was now replaced with full resolve. She had to do what she had to in regards to her baby. Their baby. God, it all sounded so strange and yet so right.
Ghazi had proven himself to be a selfish player, but regardless of whether or not the two of them could ever work things out and become a family, she did believe this baby was meant to be. They hadn't seen each other in years and to think they crossed paths again in Troy, of all places, was extraordinary, to say the least.
Their baby was destined! Sarah knew that with every ounce of her being, otherwise, how could this have happened after only one intimate evening? They used protection and everything! Sarah had no idea when Ghazi revealed the broken condom that her whole life was about to change! Just like ancient times, the walls of the Trojan had been breached and history changed forever.
Reliving the serendipity of it all sent her mind soaring back to that miraculous night in Ghazi's bed. Her hormones raged as she considered the possibility of a repeat performance today. She wanted him, no doubt. Maybe he wanted her too….Of course he did, she told herself, just like he wanted any other female. Ghazi didn't care about anyone but himself. She refused to be swayed by his charms, no matter what.