She spoke in a breathless rush. “I’ll tell you everything. I promise. But we can’t talk about this here,” she whispered, pain lacerating her heart as she realized she was on the verge of losing him. “Not unless you want to put Mo and her family in danger.”
He didn’t say anything more; he just turned and left through the door that Mo had used. A minute later, he came back into the room with their bags over his shoulder. “Move it. Now.”
Juliana slipped into her jacket and made her way to the front door, following him outside. The wind had picked up since their arrival, dark storm clouds rolling in hard and fast. The sidewalks were empty as they headed down the street, back toward the station, the blustery weather keeping everyone indoors. She had to practically run to keep up with Ashe’s long, angry strides, the waves of rage pulsing off him so intense she could have sworn she felt them blasting against her.
Nearly ten minutes of strain-filled silence had passed before he finally said, “I want an explanation, Juliana. And I want it now.”
She fought to smooth out her choppy breaths, her thoughts so scattered it was difficult to find the right words. “The D-Delacourts,” she stammered, her jaw shaking. “Raphe…and his m-mother. They’re Medeiros.”
He ran a shaky hand down his face, muttering something foul under his breath as he kept walking.
“They hide it somehow,” she continued. “But I…I don’t know how.”
Grabbing her arm in a brutally hard grip, Ashe suddenly yanked her off the sidewalk, pulling her along behind him as he headed into a small, wooded park that was thankfully empty.
The pain in his chest was so damn raw he was sucking wind, his lungs working like a bellows. Christ, he felt like such a fool! All this time, he’d been trying to work out what kind of evidence her parents had against the Delacourts, and she’d known all along. They’d obviously discovered the truth about the Delacourts’ bloodline, threatening to expose them. That would certainly explain Lenora’s willingness to risk censure from the Council for their unauthorized deaths. As well as her determination to see the Sabin family destroyed before his investigation into their sentencing stirred up questions she didn’t want anyone asking…or finding the answers to.
He couldn’t believe Juliana had kept something this important from him. He felt as if she’d taken a sledgehammer to his breastbone, the blow even sharper for the way it’d come on the heels of watching her play with Mo’s grandchildren, his head filled with fantasies about their future. A future that would never happen now, because he couldn’t stomach the thought of tying his life to a devious little liar.
Staring down into her tear-filled eyes, he swallowed the lump of rage in his throat and said, “I want the full story, Juliana.”
She huddled within her jacket and lowered her gaze to his chin, as if she was afraid to look him in the eye. Then she took a deep, shuddering breath, and said, “I met Raphe Delacourt on my nineteenth birthday.” Her voice was soft, and eerily hollow. “He was very charming, and despite the whispers I’d heard about him, I was…I was infatuated. I didn’t believe he was a criminal, even though I’d heard people gossip about how he made his money. But I didn’t want to listen to vicious rumors. Instead, I made sure to visit certain places where I knew he’d be, and it…it wasn’t long before he started…pursuing me.”
Disbelief roughened his voice. “And your father allowed it?”
Her eyes slid closed and she gave a dry, brittle laugh. “Hardly. He was furious. He forbade me to so much as talk to Raphe. But, of course, I was young enough to think he was wrong…that I knew what I was doing. So I…I started meeting with him in private.”
Ashe’s fangs burned for release, while some kind of dark, primitive sound tore from his throat.
Deep down inside, he’d secretly feared that it would be something like this. Maybe that was why he hadn’t pushed her harder, all those times they’d talked about her past. Maybe on some instinctual level, he’d sensed that the truth wasn’t something he’d want to know, the idea of Jules in bed with his worst enemy making him ill.
Choking on the bitter taste in his mouth, he forced himself to say, “So you started screwing him.”
She opened her eyes, locking her tormented gaze with his. “Not…exactly. We started dating. But we…we weren’t sleeping together.”
Oh, hell. Just how stupid did she think he was? “You really expect me to buy that bullshit? Raphe Delacourt has a reputation worse than mine. There’s no way he would have dated you without getting in your pants.”
“Whether you believe it or not, it’s the truth. We dated for months without anything happening.” She turned her face to the side, staring into the trees. “I’d already had a few serious boyfriends, so I couldn’t understand what his issue was. He seemed to think I was this fragile little creature he needed to protect, and it drove me crazy. But I put up with it because I thought he loved me.”
Ashe’s head started to pound, a cold ache twisting through his gut as he listened to her story.
“I even had this crazy idea that he wanted to…marry me.” A bitter smile touched her lips. “But then I was out with some friends, and I saw him on a date with another woman. That was when I realized that the entire time we’d been together, he’d been getting sex elsewhere. I was young and stupid and hurt enough to convince myself that the mature thing to do was to show him that I was woman enough for him. So I…I went to his house that night to prove that he didn’t need those other women.” Her jaw shook, her face getting paler as she said, “I got what I wanted, and we ended up in bed together. But then…things went wrong. Raphe…changed, taking his Medeiros form.”
Ashe choked back a sharp curse, his mind supplying enough gruesome detail for him to imagine how terrifying it must have been for her. He’d read back at the academy that when a Medeiros male shed his control, he became something that was more monster than man.
After a moment, Juliana went on. “Obviously, I realized something wasn’t…right. That Raphe wasn’t a Deschanel vampire, as I’d believed. So I got the hell out of there and did what all frightened young girls do. I ran home and told my daddy what had happened.” She shifted her tear-filled gaze back to his, huddling deeper into her jacket. “If I’d been thinking straight, I’d have realized how furious my father would be. But I was too…upset. I told him everything, and he was the one who figured out Raphe’s true species, based on my descriptions. Believing my life was in danger, he convinced my mother that they had to go before the Council immediately and launch a formal accusation against Raphe. But on their way to the Court, Lenora’s guards intercepted them and they were killed.” She drew in another shuddering breath, then slowly let it out. “I should have known that Raphe’s mother would do whatever it took to protect him. If I hadn’t run… If I’d just stayed and let Raphe kill me, then no one would have suffered.”
“You would have suffered,” Ashe stated in a low voice, wanting so badly to believe her. But he…couldn’t quite do it, the ability slipping through his fingers like wisps of smoke. All he could think about as he looked down at her was that a beautiful little liar had played him all over again. Her excuses didn’t matter. Why should he believe them, when he couldn’t believe anything else she said?
Responding to his comment, she wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve, saying, “I’ve been suffering ever since I told my parents what happened that night. And the guilt has been eating me alive ever since.”
He cocked his head to the side, studying her through his lashes. “Yeah, that guilt of yours is one of the first things I ever noticed about you. Which makes me wonder if what you’ve just told me is really the way it happened.”
She blinked, looking as if he’d slapped her. “What do you mean?”
He wouldn’t have thought Juliana would whore herself out for Raphe Delacourt’s wealth, but hell, what did he really know about her, anyway? Who knew if she’d just been playing him from the moment he found her sitting out on that patio i
n London? Who knew what was real, and what was simply the talent of a cunning actress?
“I mean, are you sure you didn’t plan to get your share of Raphe’s dirty money, no matter how it was earned? Maybe even join up with him, like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde? Until, of course, you found out he was more than just a playboy criminal who liked to fuck younger women.” His voice got harder. “Are you sure you just didn’t get in over your head? Though I guess you should get some credit for not going through with it, once you found out his dirty little secret. Screwing a criminal for his money is bad enough, Jules. But spreading your legs for a monster, just so you can grab a few bucks? That’s as low as it gets.”
Tears poured down her cheeks as she took a step back from him, her expression stricken. “I thought he l-loved me,” she said, her voice cracking. “I didn’t want his money, and I didn’t believe he was a criminal. But even if he was, I’d thought I would be able to help him change.”
His low laugh was mean and ugly. “First rule of relationships, Jules. Never try to change your lover. Accept them for exactly what they are—criminal, murderer, liar—no matter how sick it makes you.”
Very quietly, she said, “I know you think I’m a scheming liar, Ashe, but I’m not. I’m not like that woman who hurt you.” She brushed her tears away with trembling fingertips, and went on. “Every single person who knows the truth about the Delacourts has suffered. My parents…my family. It’s even the cause of Micah’s suffering. The woman who poisoned him—he was with her because he was trying to get information about Lenora. That’s the only reason I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to know because it’s like a curse! I was only trying to protect you!”
“Bullshit. You just didn’t trust me with the truth! This whole investigation has been nothing but a fucking waste of time!”
“That’s not true,” she argued. “I still need proof of the assassination orders to take them to the Council. That hasn’t changed. If I try to go before them and make the same claims about Lenora’s bloodline that I did before, they’ll laugh in my face.” She took a step forward, lifting her chin. “And you of all people have no right lecturing me about trust and the truth!”
He clenched his jaw. “Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I know about the Burning!” she shouted.
Ashe staggered back, feeling like he’d been kicked in the gut. “How the hell did you—?”
Her eyes glittered. “You told me yourself. When you were under the influence of the potion Essie gave you.”
He swallowed, shaking, desperate to think of something to say…of a way to make this right. But in the end, only one hoarse, guttural word fell from his lips. “Fuck.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THEY DIDN’T SAY MORE THAN a handful of words to each other as they traveled by train back to the coast, staying in one of the little seaside towns not far from Marseilles. In fact, Ashe hadn’t talked to her much at all since she’d admitted that she knew about the Burning. Juliana had sat beside him on the train, so close, and yet never had the distance between them seemed so vast. She told herself the rift shouldn’t have come as a surprise. After all, she’d known just how ugly his reaction would be if he ever learned the truth about the Medeiros and her relationship with Raphe.
But that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.
As they made their way inside the slightly upscale bar where Knox had arranged for them to stay, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The tense walk from the train station had only gotten worse when Ashe thought he saw one of his Förmyndare buddies tailing them as they’d made their way through the busy town center. He’d automatically yanked her inside a crowded nightclub, pulling her through the writhing crowd of half-dressed dancers. When they’d made it to the back of the club, he’d trapped her against the wall between two other couples and taken her mouth. The hard, anger-flavored kiss had been purely for cover, but Juliana had still responded, trying to tell him with her body what she couldn’t convince him of with her words. But he wasn’t listening. When he was satisfied that no one had followed them inside, they made their way through the club’s back exit and continued on, pretending the kiss had never happened.
But now she was done pretending…and she was done with the silence.
She held her tongue as they climbed the stairs up to their room on the second floor, but the moment Ashe had closed and locked the door behind him, Juliana slipped off her jacket and said, “Are you ready to talk yet?”
He shot her a dark look before tossing his own jacket onto the foot of the bed and walking to stand before the room’s large bay window, essentially turning his back on her. “Be careful,” he said in a low voice, the breadth of his shoulders accentuated by the way he stood with his hands pushed in his back pockets, staring out into the inky darkness. “Because I really don’t think you’re going to want to hear anything I have to say.”
“Ashe, please. Just listen to me,” she pleaded. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you before, but I swear that everything I’ve told you today is the truth. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you, for as long as I could.”
He turned to face her, the look in his eyes so angry it made her flinch. “Are you sure it wasn’t Raphe Delacourt you wanted to protect?”
“I understand that you’re determined to think the worst of me right now, but I swear to you I’m not trying to help Raphe.” She lifted her hands in confusion. “I’m not even sure how that would be possible.”
So much fury was carved into the rugged, masculine angles of his face, it made something clench into a painful knot in her chest. The urge to shrink back from his anger was strong, but she forced herself to hold his hostile gaze as he said, “That worthless piece of shit needs to be taken down, and now I know how to do it.” He took a step toward her, his regard deep and measuring as he studied her expression. “What’s the real story, Juliana? Are you sure you didn’t want me to know about the Medeiros so that you could protect him? You still carrying some kind of torch for that twisted son of a bitch?”
Oh, God.
She pressed a fist to her chest, but she couldn’t stop the devastating well of emotion that suddenly poured up from inside her, nearly a decade’s worth of anguish and grief twisting her features. “Just stop!” she screamed, her throat clogged with tears. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. If you had any idea what that monster put me through, what he did to my life, you wouldn’t do this to me. I hate him!”
He didn’t say anything, but his jaw hardened as he took in the sight of her tears.
“Ashe, please believe me,” she cried. “I swear I’m not lying to you. I just…I wanted to keep anything bad from happening to you. Every person who has learned the truth about the Delacourts has suffered. I knew that if you learned what they really are, you wouldn’t stop until you’d found some way to destroy them. Even if it killed you. I just wanted you to be safe!”
He made a hard, thick sound of frustration. “Goddamn it, Jules. Did it never occur to you that I could take care of myself? I didn’t need your protection. I needed your honesty!”
“I know. And I’m sorry. But I wouldn’t change what I did, even if I could. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I’m not like Gretchen, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you believe that. I only lied to protect you, not use you. And you’ve lied to me, too.”
“We’re not going there,” he growled, turning his face to the side. His profile looked as if it’d been carved out of stone, his chest rising and falling with his ragged breaths.
Wetting her lips, Juliana accepted that the only way she might reach him was by tearing open her soul and baring the last of her secrets. It might backfire and blow up in her face, but she was willing to take the risk if it meant having a chance with him. “You can trust me, Ashe. I swear that you can. And I’ll…I’ll tell you the truth about everything to prove it to you.”
He turned his head, his heavy-lidded gaze slidin
g slowly back to hers. “You mean there’s more?” he drawled, his husky tone sending nervous chills down her spine. “What now, Jules? You have proof of Big Foot? The Loch Ness Monster?” He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. “No, wait. I know. Alien abductions, right? Are we going to share secrets about little green men?”
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