‘We’ll make sure we give them a really special wedding, when it’s the right time.’
‘Yeah, we will. I’d like to do that.’
Aw, she was so perfect. Her gorgeous face, with dusky blue eyes struggling to focus on the world around her. Tiny fingers and hands. The pale-pink Babygro snug over her body. Her feet in little bootees. And to think she wasn’t even in this world, well not in her own right, just a couple of weeks ago.
‘She’s beautiful, Lynn.’
Another visit, this time to her cousin Lynn’s, to meet the newest member of the Hall family.
‘Do you think I can have a cuddle?’
‘’Course.’
‘Are you sure? She looks so peaceful there. I don’t want to disturb her.’
‘Na, she’ll be fine. She doesn’t seem to mind being passed around.’
Lynn took her daughter out of the wicker Moses basket, and passed her across.
Ellie was super-careful taking her, supporting her fragile head and neck. ‘Hey, little Emily. Nice to meet you.’ Ellie’s voice was hushed, not wanting to unsettle her.
That new baby smell, milky, baby bath, lotion and new peachy skin. Her hair was soft, downy, and dark. Ellie just gazed at her. As she looked up for a second she saw Joe watching the pair of them intently.
‘She is just beautiful, Lynn,’ Ellie repeated, with a gentle smile on her face.
‘Thanks … not so beautiful around 3 a.m. when she’s crying for her feed,’ her cousin laughed. ‘But yeah, most of the time she is pretty adorable.’
‘I bet James is over the moon with her,’ Joe said.
‘Oh yes, major Daddy pride going in. He’s even been wearing a T-shirt with ‘I’m the Father’ on the front. It was a joke from his mates, but he loves it. He’s just nipped out to the shops, to get some more milk. Won’t be long. You should catch him.’
‘She’ll have him wrapped round her little finger very soon, I bet,’ Ellie added.
‘Already has …’
‘Just wait ‘til she’s a teenager,’ Joe added.
‘So, it’ll be you guys, next then.’
Ellie felt her heart give a little throb. ‘Hope so.’ Her voice came out high-pitched.
‘Ooh, so it’s on the cards then? Fab.’
‘Maybe.’ Ellie didn’t want to say any more, didn’t want to risk the tremor, that was sure to be there in her voice. And feeling a little shaky with a baby in her arms was not a good thing. Joe gave her a reassuring smile. So, swiftly moving the conversation on, Ellie asked, ‘Is she feeding well?’
‘Yeah, seems to be doing fine. Putting on a little weight this week. Lost a couple of ounces last week, but apparently that’s pretty normal when they’re just born.’
‘She does looks gorgeous.’ Joe had taken a seat on the sofa.
‘Do you want a turn?’ Lynn asked him.
‘No, thanks, she looks great but I think I’ll pass. She looks so settled there with Ellie.’
‘Anyone for a cuppa then? You sit down with her Els, she’ll be getting heavy else, and I’ll get the kettle on.’
‘Yes, that’ll be lovely, then I get to cuddle her for a while longer.’
She sat down next to Joe, who gently reached across to touch a tiny finger, and then took the whole hand gently between his thumb and forefinger.
‘Wow, I didn’t realize quite how small they are. I’ve never really had chance to see any brand new babies. It’s awesome and a bit scary all at once.’
‘Yes.’ The little face started screwing up a bit, so Ellie rocked her in her arms, which seemed to soothe whatever it was that was bothering her.
‘You look like a natural though.’ He smiled at her warmly, lovingly.
One day. That thought felt like a beautiful weight in her mind and her soul.
They had tea and some shortbread biscuits. James appeared with the milk just in time and they chatted about work, the castle, babies, lack of sleep. James was a postman and used to being up at all hours.
‘We’ll be having a Christening in a month or so, just need to get it booked. You’ll have to come down for it. All the family will be there.’
‘Wow, that’ll be noisy then,’ Joe joked.
After being brought up by a single mum with no siblings, Ellie’s household and family seemed chaotic to Joe. Everyone talked over the other, as well as there being a telly or radio on, and no one seemed to bat an eyelid.
‘Hah, yeah, of course.’ Lynn agreed. ‘She’ll be meeting the whole tribe, cousins, aunties, uncles, nannas.’
‘She’ll have a baptism of fire then, better get her some earmuffs sorted out.’ Joe smiled.
‘Or else, she’ll be bawling along with the rest of ‘em,’ Lynn added.
‘We’re hiring a hall out for a bit of a do. Mam and Auntie Joyce are going to help me put on a bit of a spread.’
‘It sounds good. I’m sure we’ll come down … Oh, I’ve got a gift for her in my bag. Joe, could you pass it to me?’
He lifted her handbag onto the sofa next to her.
‘Thanks.’
She managed to rummage one-handed and found the parcel. She had spent ages in the children’s department of Next just looking at all the outfits. All the mini clothes were so gorgeous it had been hard choosing, but she’d gone for a cosy all-in-one, it had a pink applique rabbit on it, and a matching hat. She’d gone for a 3–6 months size, for little Emily to grow into.
Lynn unwrapped it. ‘Aw, that’s so sweet, Ellie. I love it. She’ll look so cute in it. Thanks, hun.’
Emily then started to wriggle in her arms, and her tiny mouth screwed in to a ball. A small bleating cry started up, that tugged right at Ellie’s heart. ‘Oh, dear.’
‘It’s fine. She’s due a feed, so it’ll be hungry mode kicking in.’
‘Well, we’d better be getting on anyhow. Got another round of visits to do yet. We haven’t seen Joe’s Mam yet. And then we’d better spend some time with Mum and Dad. And we head back first thing in the morning.’
‘Well, thanks so much for popping in.’
‘I couldn’t have missed seeing this little one. You all take care now.’
‘Yeah, you too.’
Ellie passed her newest relation back over to mum. ‘Aw, she’ll have grown so much by the time I see her next, bless her.’
‘Cheers, James.’ Joe stood up.
‘Bye, Ellie, Joe.’
The men shook hands. Joe then kissed Lynn on the cheek, who now had a bawling but still-gorgeous infant in her arms.
‘We’ll go. Let you get her sorted. Lovely to see you all,’ Ellie said.
‘Happy families.’ Joe gave a wink.
‘Thanks. Great to see you.’
There was one more place Ellie needed to go this afternoon, and before that she needed to buy some flowers.
‘Hi, Nanna.’
She sat down in the grassy verge beside the grave that was well-tended. It had little chippings of grey granite all over the base and a solid headstone that read, ‘In loving memory of Beryl Simpson. Mother, grandmother, and wife of Arnold Simpson. Much loved. Rest in peace, Nanna.’ Granda was laid beside her in the next plot, just as it should be for them.
Ellie took the flowers out of their cellophane wrap and gently displayed them in the glass vase they kept here. She’d just filled up the water from the cemetery tap that was in a stone wall nearby. She’d chosen some nice carnations, in a mix of peach and red that looked bright and cheery.
‘There, that’s better.’
She let out a small sigh, wondering where to start. Good news was always nice. ‘Went to see our Lynn’s new baby today. I expect Mum’s told you already, or maybe you can see it all anyway and this is old news, but I’ll tell you anyhow. She had a little girl, Emily, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. You’d have loved her. It’s dad’s side of the family so not one of your lot, but you’d have loved her all the same.’
Ellie remembered that little heavy-bodied cosy warmth, nestled against her. �
�Just gorgeous. All fine. I think she was 7lb 9oz – quite big for a first.’
Ellie looked up at the sound of bicycle brakes screeching to a halt. A couple of rows across from her, two youths in hoodies slammed down their bikes to the grass, making Ellie feel quite uneasy. They disturbed the calm of the cemetery with their loud banter. ‘Go there, then Jake. Yeah.’
Ellie wondered if they were up to some mischief. Maybe coming here to wreck the gravestones or bash up the flowers. They only looked about thirteen; she’d have to have words if they started something, but was a little afraid too, but she couldn’t let them damage Nanna’s grave and all those other people’s final resting places who had been much loved and passed away. Damn them. She had her mobile phone; if it got too bad she could ring the police, she supposed. She wasn’t quite sure if they had seen her yet, as she was sat low down. Nanna’s headstone a visible shield.
‘Damn. It’s those “villigain” types, Nanna.’ Nanna was great at getting words wrong and creating her own mash-up new versions. She’d been thinking of villain and hooligan at the same time, and out popped ‘villigains’ one evening when she and her nanna had been coming out of the local convenience store in Heaton; there were a gang of youths, smoking and dropping their empty beer cans to the ground then kicking them about. She was indignant, had to have words – she was so brave Nanna, didn’t want anyone spoiling her neighbourhood. ‘I’d pick that up, young man. There’s a bin just there.’ Unfortunately, he just growled at her, ‘What’s it to you?’ She had the sense, at that point, to walk on. Probably because Ellie’s little hand was tugging at hers. If she’d have been on her own, well, who knows. She might have tackled them with her handbag (which always had the potential to be an offensive weapon) or something. Good old, Supergran. Now there was another tale … Ellie smiled remembering the legend that was her Nanna. She’d have to tell Joe that one when he came to pick her up.
One of the youths wandered off with a circular glass vase in his hands. She hoped he wasn’t going to smash it up. He trekked off to the stone wall. Then, she heard the sounds of water splashing. Next thing, the other lad was unzipping and removing something from under his hooded top – a bunch of yellow flowers that looked like roses. They must have been prickly against his chest! Ellie smiled – looked like she’d got it wrong about them, then.
‘There you go, Gramps.’ She heard as the two lads stood there, faces serious, looking down at one of the graves for a second.
She heard her Nanna’s voice loud and clear then. ‘To assume makes an Ass Out of You and Me.’ One of her many wonderful sayings. Ellie smiled. Felt herself relax again.
The boys gave each other a firm pat on the back. ‘Football back on the field?’
‘Yep.’
Ellie watched as they remounted their bikes, and sped off. She so wished Nanna was here still. That she could go and have a cup of tea with her, sat in her galley kitchen in her terraced house. The kettle was always on the boil at Nanna’s literally (she must have had the highest electricity bill in the street!), and the door always open. If you were lucky she’d have just baked, too. They could have had fat wedges of Choffee Cake or one of her fabulous Victoria sponges, whilst they chatted. She missed her so much.
She realized that she wanted the teashop to feel like that; like Nanna’s kitchen. For her customers to come in and feel more like friends, and sit and have a chat between themselves or with the staff, eat something gorgeous and comforting and just feel a bit better about the world, put their worries aside for a little while.
‘Nanna … I haven’t told anyone this. Only Joe knows that we’re even trying. Well, obviously he knows … but I can’t share how I’m feeling with him or anyone really, but I know you won’t mind. Holding Emily today was beautiful, but I just feel so sad. It’s not happening, you see. We want a baby, our own child, been trying for six months now. I know it’s not that long, and the doctors won’t even look at you ’til its past two years … But what if I can’t, or Joe can’t? I don’t want to worry anyone or go on about it, but inside I just feel so sad. It’s weird.’
Ellie sat staring at the leaves blowing on the trees. They were just starting to tinge with russet and golds, autumn creeping in. The breeze cooler now, she wrapped her cardigan tighter around her.
‘Ah, maybe I’m just too impatient and worrying about nothing … But I just … want it so much. I know not everyone can have children … It’s not a God-given right but … you just hope, don’t you.’
And a little voice in her mind spoke up, ‘Just give it time, lass. It’s nature’s way. If it’s meant to be it’ll be, and if not … Well, you’ll always have each other. That’s a precious gift in itself.’ And she didn’t know if it was her subconscious talking or Nanna’s sound advice, but it soothed her.
She hadn’t heard the footsteps coming along the grass, until a figure stood before her.
‘Oh, hi.’ She looked up. ‘Get on okay at your mam’s?’
‘Yep, great. She’s fine.’ Joe had popped across to see Sue for a while, leaving Ellie to her graveyard chitchat. He knew what she was like, and sensed she might just want a little timeout too.
‘You okay here?’
‘Yes. Nearly done. Just need a couple of minutes.’ She patted the grass next to her, signalling for him to come close.
‘Hi, Nanna, Granda,’ he said aloud, as he sat down. It only seemed polite.
They sat quietly for a minute or so, listening to the sounds of the birds, watching a rabbit hop along the next row of gravestones, eyeing up his next flowery snack, no doubt.
‘We’ve been busy, haven’t we’ Joe said.
‘Yeah, there’s always so many people to see when we come back down. Nice though to catch up with everyone,’ Ellie commented.
‘Yeah, of course.’
‘And little Emily, aww, she is just so adorable.’
And he knew she was thinking of their future, their dreams for a family, and he took her hand gently in his own, and gave it a little squeeze. She lay her head on his shoulder. No words. They didn’t need words.
15
Ellie snuggled up next to Joe. Mum and Dad had bought a new bed for her little room. It was a single, but had a pull-out section from the base that made it into a double, for when Joe and Ellie came back to visit. It just about filled the whole room when it was extended, and her bedside table had to be moved out to the landing.
‘You okay?’ Joe asked.
‘Yeah, you?’ They found themselves whispering. The walls were so thin in this house, they’d be chatting away with her Mum and Dad who were just in the next room otherwise.
‘Yeah, fine.’
‘Did you feel all right, about holding the baby today?’
‘Yeah, she was so adorable. Just made me want it for us even more.’
‘Me too.’ He turned and gave her a hug. Skin to skin in her childhood bedroom. How times had moved on from sighing over pictures of Justin Timberlake when she was fourteen. She had a real live, very gorgeous man in her bed. Suddenly she could feel his erection nudging up against her.
‘Joe,’ she whispered. ‘Stop it.’
‘I can’t help it, it’s just a natural male reaction. Don’t get so close then,’ he whispered back.
‘You’ll have to wait until tomorrow.’ A hug would definitely be all he would be getting tonight. It still felt weird back at home, in this room, with Joe beside her, knowing that her parents were lying parallel to them just next door. The walls were as thin as eggshells and still painted the same shade of pink she’d chosen at twelve, for goodness sake, and her teddy bear collection was still lined up on the shelf!
‘I’ll hold you to that promise then, Mrs Ward.’
They were nearly asleep, when Ellie started laughing. The bed was shaking with it.
‘What’s up with you now? You’ll be waking your mum and dad up, at this rate.’
No answer, still more shaking and giggles.
‘They’ll think we’re up to somethin
g, the bed’s rattling that much.’ His voice had laughter through it too, though.
‘Just remembered something … It’s a story. I was going to tell you when you came to pick me up from the graveyard.’
‘What? Spill the beans. It must be a good one.’
‘Ah, it’s a classic. She’s a legend, that one … Supergran, in fact.’
More rattling.
‘Go on, then.’
‘Right, well … a while after my Granda died, Nanna decided to go off and have a holiday with her best friend, Jean.’ There was a pause, while Ellie shuffled in the duvet. ‘So off they went to Paris, the pair of them. She hadn’t done a lot of foreign travelling. They’d been warned about pickpockets and to be careful about people trying to sell you things in the street.’
‘Right.’
‘Anyway, they’re over there one evening, on their mini break, when a young woman comes up to them … flick-knife in her hand, pointed right at them.’
‘Uh-oh.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Well, Nanna being Nanna comes out with, “Oh no, we don’t need one of those, hen. Not much need for a knife like that. What do you think I am, Supergran or something?”’
Joe was chuckling then.
‘The girl didn’t know what to do with these two old dears from the Toon,’ Ellie continued. ‘Who were either naïve or stupid, or both. Maybe she thought of her own gran then or something. She just dropped the knife and ran … It was about twenty minutes later, in some café down by the Seine, it hit home. The pair of them got a bit shaky, realising they’d been about to be mugged.
‘Wow.’
‘Good old Supergran, must have taken the wind right out of that girl’s sails. Saved by her Geordie wit and unbelievable naiveté.’
‘How fantastic. What a woman … it’s such a shame I never got to meet her.’
‘Yeah, I know. She’d have liked you, very much.… And yeah, she’ll always be Supergran to me.’
16
Time to get up, face the day, and head back to the castle.
‘Thanks for everything, Mum. It’s been so nice to see you all. You’ll have to come up and see us at the castle again, sometime. You can always stay in one of the guest rooms, you know.’
The Cosy Christmas Teashop Page 10