Annie shook her head. “But I can’t afford to buy your car.”
“Oh, I’m not asking you to buy it. I’m giving it to you.”
Annie looked at Ian, then back at Cora. “That’s too generous. I have to pay you something.”
“No need. You’ll be doing me a favor. I can’t drive it anymore. If you take it, I won’t have to pay for insurance or tags.”
“But I will.” Annie grimaced. “I’m sorry to be ungrateful, but I won’t have any money until I find a more permanent job.”
Ian wanted to help Annie, but he didn’t want to discuss anything in front of Cora. “Annie, you should consider your options, then let Cora know what you want to do. You need a car, so you don’t have to depend on others for a ride.”
“You’re right.” Annie took a deep breath. “I’ll let you know what I decide in a few days.”
“Good.” Cora nodded. “You’re the perfect person for that car.”
“Thanks for thinking of me.”
“Now they better let me out of here in the morning.”
“Let’s pray about it.” Ian reached for Cora’s hand.
“Good idea.” Cora took hold of his hand, a shimmer of tears in her eyes.
As he bowed his head, Annie held hands with Cora and slipped her other hand into his. He had to concentrate on the prayer not on his ex-wife or the way his heart skipped a beat as he held her hand. Ian swallowed hard, then gave thanks for all the good news of the day and prayed for Cora’s quick recovery and wisdom for Annie. He silently prayed for wisdom of his own. He had to figure out what he wanted in regard to Annie.
When he said amen, Cora squeezed his hand. “Thanks so much.”
“I’m glad we could visit, but we have to go.” Ian wanted to talk to Annie alone so he could convince her to take the car and his help.
“Thanks for stopping by, and congratulations again, Annie. Let me know about that car.” Cora waved her cane at Ian. “And don’t you forget about dominoes.”
“I’ll be there.” Ian waved as he escorted Annie from the room. When they were out in the hallway, he stopped. “It’s nearly dinnertime. Let me take you out to eat?”
“Are you sure?” She gave him an impish smile.
If he hadn’t counted to ten, the word no would have popped out of his mouth before he could think. But he had to convince her to take his help with the car expenses until she had some spare money. “Let’s not analyze. I’m hungry, but if you’d rather not go, I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”
“Now that’s what I call an enthusiastic invitation.” She crossed her arms over her waist.
Her sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. He didn’t want to blow this opportunity. “I’d like to talk to you. Will you go out to eat with me?”
She smiled and slipped her arm through his. “I’d love to.”
As Ian walked to his car with Annie clinging to his arm, he prayed. This was one of those times the book of Romans mentioned when the Spirit was making intercession by groaning because Ian had no idea how to pray.
The time he’d spent with Annie in recent weeks served to show him the changes she’d made in her life. She wasn’t the same young woman who had tried to party her way to happiness. She had found delight in the Lord and helping here at The Village. Now she found joy at the prospect of having custody of her children again. What should be his part in all of this? And how would she feel if she ever learned the whole truth? The role he’d played in her and her children’s lives, before Annie had shown up at The Village.
Ever since she’d presented him with her case, he’d been avoiding even thinking of the other reason he hadn’t wanted to represent her. Guilt inundated him when he thought of Annie’s battle for her children. No. He shouldn’t have guilt over protecting those sweet little kids. He was right to have reported her to the Division of Family and Children Services after she had used the money he had given her for drugs instead her children.
What would Annie think if she knew?
* * *
Annie couldn’t believe he was asking her to eat with him. They’d been together most of the day. All this closeness was making her want something she probably couldn’t have—a do-over with Ian. He’d told her he wasn’t even sure they could be friends. Had he changed his mind? Is that what he wanted to talk about? Did she dare ask him, or should she wait? Patience. She needed to practice patience.
“Where are we going?” She tried not to speculate about what he wanted to say.
“Your choice.” He opened the car door for her. Her heart fluttered as she scooted into the front passenger seat.
He drove toward the exit at the main gate of The Village. “Where to?”
She looked over at him as he waited to pull onto the main road. He was silhouetted against the sun that beamed through the tall pines on one side of the gate. Her heart fluttered again. Was she hoping for too much out of this dinner invitation? “Let’s go to that place where we used to go when we were in high school.”
“You mean McGurdy’s Pizza?”
She smiled. “Yeah. That’s the place.”
Ian turned right, maneuvering into early-evening traffic. “It’s still there, but I have no idea whether the pizza’s still good or not.” He glanced her way. “You do remember we’re going to have pizza on Saturday night at my parents’ house?”
“You used to say no one can have too much pizza.” Annie wasn’t sure what this trip down memory lane would bring, but she wanted to find out.
“You’re right.” Ian chuckled.
After Ian parked, Annie quickly exited the car. She wondered if he remembered that they’d gone here on their first date. Was it still a teenage hangout?
As they entered the restaurant, Annie noticed that little had changed. Wooden plank tables and benches comprised the booths that lined the walls. Smaller square tables surrounded by ladder-back chairs sat in the center of the large room. A hostess led them to a booth and left them with menus. Annie wondered whether Ian still like sausage and pepperoni pizza. She preferred a veggie pizza, so they’d often compromised with pepperoni and mushroom toppings.
He looked up from the menu. “Should we order our old compromise?”
“I’d like that.” He remembered. Was that a good thing? Did it mean his thoughts were also on their failed relationship?
When the waitress appeared, they ordered their drinks and pizza. After she returned with their drinks, plates and utensils, Annie looked at Ian. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Cora’s car. Annie, you shouldn’t worry about those expenses. You need that car.”
“Yes, I should. I can’t spend money I don’t have.”
“But you’ll have it. I can lend you money, and you can pay me back when you can.”
She took a deep breath, not sure this was a good idea. She kept thinking about how she’d asked him for money for the kids, then used it to buy drugs. Who could forgive something like that? “I have lots of other expenses to deal with before I get a job. I have things to buy for Kara and Spencer. Like car seats.”
“What good are car seats if you don’t have a car?” Ian frowned. “I’m in no hurry for you to pay me back.”
“They’ll need car seats for any time I have to transport them in a car, no matter whose car it is. Like on Sunday when you’re supposed to drive me to church and out to dinner with your parents. The kids will need car seats, and you don’t have them in your car.”
Ian nodded. “Shows you I don’t know much about taking care of kids.”
Before Annie could comment, the waitress brought their food. The aroma of the freshly made pizza made Annie’s stomach growl. “Guess I’m as hungry as you are.”
Ian chuckled. “Let’s pray.”
Annie bowed her head and listened to Ian’s deep voice a
s he gave thanks for their meal. If they’d been in tune with God when they’d first started dating would things have turned out differently for them? She had to quit thinking about the past, because nothing could change it. But this place was all about the past. Why had she come here?
Ian picked up the server. “Hold up your plate, and I’ll give you a slice.”
“Thanks.” More memories overloaded Annie’s mind. They were reliving a small piece of the past. Thankfully, they wouldn’t relive the whole awful thing.
As they ate in silence for a few moments, Annie tried to think about the future—the future with her kids. She was excited for them to see their room and play with the toys Doreen had given them. She prayed they wouldn’t look at her as a stranger.
Ian polished off a slice of pizza in no time and helped himself to another one. “Now that you’ve been through rehab, have you ever thought of contacting your parents?”
The pizza curdled in Annie’s stomach. She gritted her teeth, suppressing her hurt and anger. “Why should I do that? They didn’t care about me when I was growing up. They didn’t care when I messed up my life. They didn’t care when I had kids or when they were taken away. They didn’t care about the time I spent in rehab. Why would they care about me now?”
Ian didn’t say anything for a few moments, his expression sympathetic. “I know you haven’t been close with your parents, but it’s still something to think about. They might like to get to know their grandchildren.”
“I doubt it.” Tears threatening, Annie didn’t want to talk about her parents. “Your parents care about me more than mine ever did.”
“To be honest, I had no idea how much my parents cared about you.”
Closing her eyes to keep the tears at bay, Annie nodded. She took a shaky breath before looking at Ian. “Me, neither. Your mom’s been wonderful to me.”
“That’s why you need to try to talk to your parents. You never know what might happen.”
“Don’t preach to me, Ian. You weren’t exactly on great terms with your parents when you were younger.”
“That’s true, but I see how wrong that was. Ever since you’ve been back in my life, I’ve become closer to my parents, especially my dad.”
“See. Being around me hasn’t been all bad.”
“Did I ever say it was?”
“You didn’t have to. I could see it in your eyes.”
“Annie, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
Love me. The words sat on the tip of her tongue. She grabbed her slice of pizza and took a big bite in order to keep from saying them.
When Annie didn’t say anything, Ian gave her a wry smile. “I don’t know why I said that. Guess I never had lessons in how to deal with an ex-wife, but I’m here to help you. If you need help with your kids, I’ll try to do whatever I can.”
“Thanks. You’re going above and beyond your duty.”
“I’m part of The Village of Hope. The Village is here to support you.”
“I appreciate the support.” So he looked at it as part of his job. It was nothing personal. She should’ve known.
What had she done—asking Ian to help with children who weren’t his? How could she ask that of the man she’d betrayed? Was she hoping against hope that Ian could accept another man’s children—that he could accept her back into his life? Why had Doreen bolstered the thoughts that Annie had been kicking around for days? He said he would help. She should be grateful.
“I also want to talk about reuniting you with Kara and Spencer. We haven’t discussed the caseworker’s plan.”
“What is it? I have a hard time thinking positive things about that woman.” Grimacing, Annie shrugged. “Guess she feels the same way about me.”
“Don’t worry. You’re going to show her that you deserve to have your children. We’ll be meeting in my office day after tomorrow. Would you like Melody to be there, too?”
Annie nodded. “If she could, that would be great.”
“If you ask, I’m sure she will.” Ian took another bite of his pizza.
Annie’s appetite fled at the thought of facing that caseworker. Even though the woman wasn’t anywhere near here, just the thought of her intimidating demeanor had Annie on edge. “I wish that caseworker didn’t have to be there.”
“Yeah, she seems a little stern, but she’s only there to observe. She’s not going to get involved in the transition.”
“I hope you’re right. If anything goes wrong, she’ll be sure to make a note of it.” Annie couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“That’s okay. She can take all the notes she wants because I have confidence that most of them will be good.”
“Just most?”
Ian stared at her. “Don’t you think that’s an accurate estimation?”
“Yeah. I’m sure the kids will have some anxiety and fears. I hope they don’t cry.” Annie didn’t want to think about what might go wrong, but she had to face facts. Her children would probably look at her more as a stranger than their mother. She hadn’t seen them much in the past year, but that’s the way it had to be. The short-term rehabilitation programs hadn’t worked for her. She always relapsed. She’d needed Pastor John’s long-term program, and that meant limited contact with her kids. It was a trade-off she hoped would be for the best in the end.
“I still want you to take a loan for Cora’s car. I expect you to say yes, but I’ll give you a couple of days to realize you need to do this. And everything is going to be okay. You have a whole lot of people rooting for you, and with God on your side, who can be against you?”
“No one.” Annie needed to remember that. Look forward, not back. She wished she could stamp that on her brain because she’d been doing too much looking back. Even tonight with Ian had been a look back. Starting tomorrow, her focus was going to be on the future.
Chapter Nine
Two days later Annie sat on one of the leather chairs in front of Ian’s desk. The walls of his office seemed to close in on her as she twisted her hands in her lap. Why worry when you can pray? The title of a little tune her grandmother used to sing roamed through Annie’s mind. The senior ladies had met to pray this morning. Cora was doing well. She’d been there for dominoes—an answer to prayer. The fact that Kara and Spencer would be here in a few minutes was an answer to prayer. So why was she doubting now?
Melody roamed over to the window. “Annie, they’re here.”
Annie raced to the window and watched as Kenneth and Tami Webster, the foster parents, got out of their car. They looked so put together—a perfect couple—the Barbie and Ken of foster parents. Annie didn’t want to be jealous, but envy snaked into her brain.
The Websters opened the back doors and leaned inside. Kara emerged first, dressed in violet leggings with white polka dots. A top with flounces of purple netting on the bottom half completed her outfit. Her dark brown hair was pulled back on top with a hair band. She looked so grown-up today. She held Tami’s hand as she skipped up the walk. In a second Spencer came into view dressed in dark pants and a stripped knit shirt. Kenneth tried to comb Spencer’s unruly brown hair as he picked up the little boy and carried him.
The children looked so happy. The Websters had been wonderful foster parents, but would that make it hard for the children to leave them? Would they like their new home? Would they now be happy with her? Would they love her? Her heart pounded as the questions pranced through her mind. Lord, let everything be okay.
Annie looked over at Ian. “Should I stand closer to the door or stay here?”
Ian motioned to her. “Come stand by me. Take a deep breath.”
Taking a deep breath might be calming, but standing next to Ian would not. Annie’s leaden legs somehow propelled her across the room until she stood next to Ian’s desk. He walked over and g
ave her shoulders a quick squeeze. Melody came to her other side and hugged her.
A knock sounded on the door. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for had arrived.
“Come in.” Ian’s voice was calm and reserved.
The door swung open, and Kara sprinted across the room and threw herself into Annie’s open arms. “Mommy, I get to stay with you.”
Tears flowing down her cheeks, Annie embraced her daughter with all the love she was feeling. “Yes, you do.”
Annie held Kara tight until she’d regained her composure. She looked over at Spencer, who still clung to Kenneth with what looked like a death grip. Annie’s heart sank. How was she going to win her son over? Why did he hesitate when Kara had come to her with so much enthusiasm? Fear froze Annie’s thoughts. She didn’t know how to react. She stood there, her mind in a whirl until she saw the caseworker staring at her.
With a determination not to let that woman win, Annie took Kara’s hand and walked over to where Kenneth stood while he held Spencer. “Hi, Spencer. I’m glad you’re here.”
Spencer didn’t respond. He buried his head in the foster father’s shoulder. When Kenneth tried to hold Spencer out to Annie, the little boy bellowed and clung harder. Kenneth grimaced as he looked at Annie. “I don’t know why he’s acting this way.”
Annie said a silent prayer that her idea would work. “I have a thought. Let’s go to the library. I have some books set aside for the kids.”
The entire group followed Annie down the hallway. Still praying, she asked the volunteer librarian for the books. Then she headed for the children’s area, furnished with a small table and chairs painted in primary colors, along with a kid-sized chair that looked like a baseball glove and a little sofa covered in a zebra-striped fabric. She held the books on her lap as she sat on the sofa. She patted the seat beside her. “Kara, here.”
Kara instantly hopped up onto the sofa. “Are you going to read us a story?”
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