"I…" he paused. "I love you," his words whispered against my forehead.
"You love –?" I choked out the words.
"Yes," he said didn't let me finish.
"You don't love me Christopher."
"Don't tell me how I feel, Mia." Anger laced his words once again.
"You barely know me…you can't –" I tried to protest.
"I'm in love with you," he kissed me again and this time my hands found purchase in his hair. He moaned into my mouth and then pulled away.
"Sorry."
I looked at him confused.
"You're stuck with me. I'm in love with you and now you're having my baby." Then there was his grin…his cocky grin.
"Christopher I don't know what I'm –"
"Mia, for some reason you think you need to get rid of everything that happened, but I can't let you get rid of my child," he pulled me closer. "I can't let that happen." He was begging me not to do it, pleading with me. "Please don't."
"E-excuse me Miss, are you ready to continue? We have another appointment in a few minutes." The technician returned to the room.
"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching to wipe a tear from my face. Christopher beat me to it, using his thumb to wipe it away.
"Don't cry. It kills me to see you cry." He whispered into my ear, helping to lie back down on the table.
The technician continued and the sound filled the room again. My chest tightened and a feeling of nausea filled my stomach.
"Is that the um –?"
"Yes," the technician smiled at Christopher, "That's the heartbeat."
A smile spread on Christopher's face. I couldn't share the smile with him and still wasn't sure what I was going to do.
The technician turned the monitor in our direction. I turned away and watched Christopher's face instead. It slipped into a look of confusion.
"Here's your baby." I still didn't look. Christopher's eyes widened.
"Looks like you are about eight weeks," she said and finished the scan, pulling the wand away from my stomach. Relief flooded through me. It was all over.
"What does that mean?" Christopher asked.
"It means that you have a long time to go yet," she chuckled. "But trust me it will go by quicker than you would expect. Here you go." Christopher reached out and took a small square picture of the baby.
"Look," he turned it toward me and there it was in front of my face. More tears started to form and fall down my face. "Don't cry, please. I'm so sorry Mia, I'm sorry I did this, caused this. I'll make everything better. I know you hate me –"
"I don't hate you. I'm just mad." Sitting up, he helped me down from the examination table.
He placed the tiny picture in my hands. I stared at it for a moment. The door opened and the nurse returned to take me back to the other room. Christopher stayed in the hallway while I changed back into my close.
"I told you, you should've talked to him about all of this." Serena lectured.
"It doesn't change anything," I grumbled.
"Wh-what do you mean?" She stuttered in confusion.
"It means, Serena, that it's my body and my choice," she opened her mouth, but I didn't let her finish, "A choice I still need to make."
Opening the exam room door, Christopher was leaning against the wall with his head back and his eyes closed. He actually had a small smile playing on his lips.
Could I really do this? Can he handle this? He said he was in love with me. I care about him and drawn to him, but I don't know if this is love.
How will he react if I don't say it back to him? Will it set him off, again? I knew about the horrors of his past, but I didn't know anything else about him and he didn't know anything about me.
I still had a decision to make.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I didn't realize it would be so hard to say it aloud, but as soon as I did, all of the weight I'd been carrying lifted.
When she said, she hated me it was like a knife to the heart. There was some small truth to it. Of course there would be, I'd gotten her pregnant. She didn't want to be pregnant, especially not with my child.
Fuck! She is pregnant, she's having my baby, and I'm going to be a father. Panic started to set into my chest. Could I be a father? I didn't know how to be one. Would I turn out like him? Would I hurt them?
No. I could never hurt her. It would kill me to hurt her.
Hell seeing her cry was almost too much for me to handle. Mia was having my baby. An easy smile tugged at the corners of my lips. We were having a baby.
"You ready?"
My head snapped forward when Una asked Mia. She nodded.
"Okay, everything's taken care of, so we can get out of here." Then she turned to me. "Did you seriously come in through the front door?" I nodded and grinned. "Christopher, are you trying to draw attention?" She scolded.
"If I'd been told before then none of this would've happened now would it?" I raised my eyebrow.
She huffed.
"Come on you need to sneak out of here with us." She motioned for me to follow.
I quickly caught up with Mia. She pulled away a little and her reaction confused me. When we got back to the hotel, I followed Mia back to her suite. She looked irritated, but I didn't care.
"I'm just going to lie down, I'm tired." She rolled her eyes and walked into her bedroom.
Following her, I shut the door behind me. She was kicking off her shoes when she heard the door close. Leaning against the door, I watched her.
"What?" She caught me watching her. Her voice saturated in irritation. I shrugged.
"No, what?" She was annoyed and I had to stifle my laugh.
"Nothing." I slipped my shoes and sweatshirt off before climbing onto her bed.
She disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and then reappeared in sweatpants and a t-shirt. The moment she was on the bed, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her to me.
"Christopher, you don't have to hover or do this," she motioned to me holding her. "I'm pregnant, but I don't expect you to act differently." She turned around to face me. "You don't have to pretend to be –"
"Mia, I told you how I feel. I'm an asshole and I don't say or show how I feel very often, so how about you just fucking enjoy it." She rolled back over without saying a word. "Do you want me to leave?"
"Do whatever you want," she mumbled.
Smiling at my small victory, I buried my face in her hair. Hey, she said to do whatever I want, so I did it.
She fell asleep not too long after and I lay there listening to her breaths. Awhile later, she shifted onto her back. My hand now lay on her stomach and I couldn't help but slowly rub over her stomach.
The next thing I knew I was waking up. Stretching I could feel her entire body. I looked down. Her head was on my chest, her leg and arm draped over me. Wrapping my arms around her, she started to stir.
She woke up shortly after and rolled away from me. That wasn't going to work, so I rolled to my side and put my arm around her. She stretched and peeked through her lashes.
"Hey," she groaned.
"Hey, feel better?"
She shrugged.
"I'm not really tired, if that counts as better." She sat up and I pulled her back down. "Christopher," she laughed. "I need to get up," she protested.
"You don't need to do anything," I countered.
"Oh really?"
"Really," I imitated her tone. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm starving, so I'm going to go –"she stopped talking when she realized I wasn't letting her go. She narrowed her eyes.
"What do you want to eat?"
"I can get my own food," she tried to sit up again.
"I don't want to leave the bed. So what do you want to eat?" I grinned.
"Since when did I fall under your dictatorship mister?" She poked my chest.
"Um...since you are carrying my child," I teased and she tensed. Shit Christopher…too far. "Sorry." I mumbled.
"Don't wo
rry about it," she whispered and tried to get up. She turned to me. "Is the bathroom off limits too?" There it was again, she was annoyed.
Shaking my head, I released her. While she was in the bathroom, I made the call for room service.
I still wasn't sure of all the emotions coursing through me, but when she was with me, it didn't matter.
* * * * *
Oh God, I'm pregnant… It isn’t some jacked up nightmare. I'm fucking pregnant. Christopher Mason got me pregnant. Fuck….shit….fuck!
Pacing the bathroom, I was finally alone long enough for a proper freak out and personal moment. I wasn't sure about being pregnant let alone being someone's mother. I wasn't confident I could do it. Could I even think about having a baby with someone I really just met? Plus, I was young and my career just starting. How will it work for a child if both parents are constantly in the spotlight, working, and traveling? Is it unfair to bring a child into this life?
Oh god. I'm pregnant. I wanted to go back to my birthday and take it all back. Take back the way his hands worked my body. The way his tongue teased my nipples, and…Oh Christ, get it together.
After my mini meltdown, I hopped into the shower hopeful I could rinse away the stress momentarily. Things were going well until I ran my hand over my stomach. That's when the ultrasound picture flashed in my head. The warm tears camouflaged by the hot water, but I knew they were there.
What am I going to do? What if I couldn't do it and decided I wanted the abortion? Would he freak out? Would it send him over the edge? Can I go through with a pregnancy just because he may have a meltdown if I didn't?
Once I dried off, I slipped my sweatpants and t-shirt back on. Entering the bedroom, Christopher sat with his head back against the headboard and eyes closed.
Was he rethinking everything? Was he serious about wanting this baby? Would he respect my decision if I didn't want it? Of course, he wouldn't. He would probably show up as he did today, only this time he would throw a tantrum.
My hands found themselves on my stomach again. Looking down, I released a large sigh and a single tear.
"What did I tell you about crying?"
Christopher was staring at me with that damn grin on his face. I quickly dropped my hands and walked toward the bed. I wanted to slap the damn cocky grin off his face.
Leaning back onto the bed, I lay flat on my back with my hands behind my head. My shirt moved before Christopher's fingers brushed my stomach. I looked down. His eyes were fully concentrated on my now exposed abdomen. His hand spread out like a fan.
When he realized I was watching him curiously, he pulled back his hand and mumbled, "Sorry."
"What were you doing?" Emotion overload had put my words just above a whisper.
"I don't know, I'm still kind of…I dunno in –"
"Shock?"
"I guess that too, but I'm more in awe than anything," he shrugged.
"Awe?"
"Yeah, I mean, you have a tiny person inside you Mia, fuck it's a tiny person that…well…I helped to make. It's weird, creepy, unbelievable, and just amazing all at the same time." He got really quiet after that.
"You're that 'interested' in all this?"
"I'm more than 'interested' in this," he placed his hand on my bare stomach. "I think I'm excited about it."
His head bent to my stomach and pressed his lips to my skin. A gasp escaped me, and he grinned up at me. I tried to push my shirt back down, but he wouldn't allow it.
"I would've never thought I could be like this or feel like this." He kissed my stomach again and this time I had to swallow a moan, but he saw right through me. His kisses traveled further up my body and between my breasts when there was a knock on the door.
Thank god for the interruption.
Christopher pulled my shirt down and rolled over as the door opened.
"Did you order all this?" Laney looked at me flabbergasted. She stuck her thumb out over her shoulder, motioning behind her.
"What food?" I sat up.
"I didn't know what you wanted." I turned to Christopher. "You wouldn't answer me."
"How much food is out there?" I turned back to Laney. She was smiling largely.
"Oh, enough to feed the whole floor of the hotel," she giggled.
I twisted back to Christopher.
"What?" he shrugged. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I just told them to send up everything on the breakfast and dinner menu."
"You did what?" Slapping my hand to my forehead, I climbed out of bed, heading toward my door. Once I saw all the trays and carts, I groaned. "I can't believe you did this."
"Eat up," Kat laughed from the couch. "Chris Junior needs nourishment."
I glared.
After eating, I stayed in my room on my laptop and watching TV. Mentally exhausted from the constant spinning with pregnancy related thoughts, my head was starting to hurt. The not knowing what was to come was the worst.
Christopher only left once, to get a change of clothes. As much as I appreciated his support, it was nice to have time to myself. I was suffocating under everyone's constant presence. I took Christopher's absence as the opportunity to do some pregnancy related research. Regardless of everyone's opinions, I needed to figure out what was best for me.
First search, pregnancy in the general sense –symptoms and changes, up to future things I could expect over the next few months. It didn't sound very appealing. Second, I looked at complications and concerns – another not so pleasant topic. Moving on to the third much more taboo subject, abortion, I read over the facts not the opinions. From what I read, it wasn't pretty and there were still complications that could arise from the procedure. My brain felt full and I started to feel sick.
Sighing heavily, I threw myself back on the bed. Reaching for the remote on the side table, my hand met a piece of smooth paper. I knew what it was, but I reflexively brought it into my sight. There was the picture of the….I couldn't bring myself to say it. Not yet.
Too wrapped up in my own thoughts, Christopher returned without my noticing. Lying back with my arm over my face and the picture against my chest, I was trying to sift through all of the information. It wasn't until he spoke that I jerked upright.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"What do you–?"
His long finger extended toward my bright laptop screen. I cringed when I saw what I'd left out in the open. I was so sick of everyone lecturing me and telling me what to do. Slamming the computer shut, I stood from the bed. Anger bubbled from the pit of my stomach.
"Well?" he growled.
"You know what? I don't have to answer to you!" His face dropped. "The last time I checked this is my body," using one hand to motion across my body. "And the last I checked it is my decision to make," I shouted.
Laney and Kat appeared in my doorway. The glare I gave made them retreat quickly. My glare turned back to Christopher, who stood looking half-crazed.
"I won't let you do it, Mia! Get that in your head right now!" His eyes were wild and his chest heaving.
"Fuck you, Christopher!" I crossed my arms over my chest. "And you know what…you can get the fuck out of my room too!" Starting toward the door, Christopher stopped me. "Let go of me!" I tried to push his arm from its hold around my waist.
Before I could blink twice, he lifted me with one arm and carried me back the bed. Opening my mouth, I was going to give him the bitch out of a lifetime.
"Damn it! Shut up, and listen to me!" He leaned over me, causing me to scoot back and drop my weight to my elbows.
Angling his body over mine, his face was intense. Fear took hold, but it didn't last long. He pressed his lips to mine, firmly, while cupping the back of my neck to keep me from pulling away.
"Don't ever fear me," he whispered against my lips. "I could never hurt you. Never." His lips pressed harder. Pulling back slightly from my lips, he pressed his forehead to mine.
"I can't," he kissed me, "I won't let it happen," he kissed me again pressing his body
against mine until my back rested against the mattress.
"I want you," he kissed more fervently. "I want our baby," his tongue moved into my mouth and twisted around my tongue. Instinctively, my tongue searched out the steel ball in his tongue. I found it and almost moaned.
"There is nothing in this world I want more than you, than this," His tongue and lips moved over my jaw. I came undone and slid my hands over his shoulders.
Christopher slipped his arm under my lower back and pulled us higher on the bed. He rested comfortably on one elbow above my body while pressing his weight and arousal between my legs. Heat flooded my body.
"Say you won't," he whispered against my neck. "Please Mia," he sucked, the viper bites digging deliciously into my skin.
"Christopher," I croaked. He wasn't playing fair.
"Mia, please, please, say you won't kill my, our baby. Please?" His forehead pressed against my shoulder as the words left his lips. Panting from his actions, I tried to clear the lusty fog from my head.
"Say it," with a little more intensity, he squeezed my hip with his hand.
"Say it, Mia, please? Promise me." His hand slipped over my stomach, under my shirt. His thumb rubbing circles on my skin.
The words slipped out of my lips without any control on my part.
Chapter Twenty-Three
"I can't promise you anything."
He stilled.
"I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I just, I need to think about all of this, absorb it, and –"
"And I'm supposed to just sit by while you decide the fate of my child?" He was suddenly kneeling above me. His face swathed in fury.
"It's my body." I argued.
"It's my child," he snapped.
"Get off me." Growling, I shoved him. He moved from over top of me. I stood from the bed.
"We aren't done talking about this." He snarled.
"Oh, yes, we are!"
"Mia," his tone warning.
"I've heard what you have to say about this, now it's time for me to decide what I want not what everyone else wants me to do."
We were in a stare off. His piercing blues were trying to penetrate my dark brown. I have no idea how long we would've stayed that way, but a knock at the door concluded it.
Falling Stars Page 30