Roger sniffed. “No. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hold her. I don’t think Rocky would mind having a mate close by.”
Jodi rubbed Roger’s shoulder as his voice cracked ever so slightly. “I saw him wag his tail at her. I think he approves.”
Roger nodded silently.
Jodi discreetly let Roger spend some more time with Rocky while she prepared the injection in the adjoining room. Her heart was heavy and she had a hard time blinking back her own tears. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “Damn, I hate this part of the job,” she mumbled.
An hour later Jodi sat at her desk once again. A complete feeling of helplessness and defeat covered her like a blanket. She’d had too many losses lately and they had taken their toll. The only positive was that Roger had grown so fond of Popcorn and come to rely on the little dog so much in Rocky’s absence that it didn’t take much convincing for Roger to permanently adopt her.
Jodi suddenly felt an intense need to escape the confines of the clinic. She needed to get out of the building that had for years been her home away from home. She loved her work, but today, she’d had enough.
Her mobile rang and Jodi hesitated until she saw it was Pip.
“Hey,” Jodi said, her voice barely making it past her tight throat.
“Jodi. Can you come out here?”
Jodi was instantly on alert. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Having worked through the afternoon feeds, Pip had just enough time to take the quad bike out to gather fresh eucalypt leaves for the koalas, making sure to bring back an extra few helpings of Lucille’s favourite. Chilli had enjoyed the ride on the back of the quad bike in a specially constructed seat, her tail wagging and tongue lolling in the breeze as she and Pip bounced across the home paddocks and back towards the pens with their leafy booty.
She turned the quad bike off and started to organize the gathered branches of leaves into species based buckets. As she placed the last of the branches into buckets of water, she froze on the spot as Chilli howled. Pip dropped a branch and ran towards her, the cry tearing at her very core. She checked the dog over, only to find that Chilli’s distress was on another’s behalf. She stood and scanned the pens. Her breath caught in her throat when she spied Lucille on the ground grunting and rocking slightly.
Pip threw open the gate and ran inside with Chilli close on her heels, whining quietly as she took her place beside Lucille’s side.
“Good girl, Chilli. I’ve got her. Good girl.”
Pip scooped Lucille gently into her arms and took off at a run towards the prep room. Chilli ran past and circled anxiously ahead of her. Lucille stiffened and dug her claws into her shoulder, something she never did. Her grunting intensified. Pip slowed and finally stopped when Lucille strained in her arms, her head pointing back towards her pen. Pip head swung back and forth from Lucille to the pen, to try to gauge what Lucille was looking at. Taking a chance, Pip turned and walked back towards the enclosure. Lucille’s rocking intensified as if encouraging her. At the pen gate, Lucille looked off to her left. Following the koala’s gaze, Pip turned left and took a few tentative steps, watching Lucille’s reactions the whole time. As Pip came to the edge of the pen where the back wall faced the natural bushland, Pip could just make out a large tail lying in the grass against the back wall of the pen. Lucille stilled in her arms, as if relieved that her message had been received and understood. Pip drew slowly forward. She could now hear laboured breathing. She hurried the last few steps until she found the source. It was old Felix, the ousted ex–alpha male eastern grey kangaroo of the local mob of kangaroos that lived on her property. He had been one of her first ever rescues all those years ago.
Not long after Charlie had arrived at her place to start her exchange program, Felix had been bested by a younger, stronger male, and he had been relegated to the edge of the kangaroo mob’s territory.
Pip slowly knelt and let Felix smell the back of her hand. He coughed and looked at her as if in recognition. Pip looked him over. He was thin and there were fresh scars on his flanks.
Lucille called out, surprising Pip, and received a laboured cough from Felix. Lucille clung to Pip tightly and tucked her head under Pip’s chin.
“Is that what you’ve been trying to tell me, little one? Felix has come home?” Her voice cracked. A tear slipped from her eye as she stroked the old macropod’s neck. He groaned and closed his eyes as she continued to stroke his thin fur.
She had to call Jodi, but she needed to explain what was going on. To do that, she had to gather herself as best she could. She grabbed the phone and slid to the ground beside him. She rocked Lucille in her arms, as much to comfort the koala as herself. She closed her eyes and fell into a rhythm. Breathe. Rock. Breathe.
After a minute she opened her eyes and focused on what needed to be done. She picked up the phone and hit Jodi’s number on speed dial.
Jodi answered on the fourth ring. “Hey.”
As hard as Pip tried to keep it together, she couldn’t hide the fear in her voice. “Jodi. Can you come out here?”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Jodi’s knuckles were stark white against the dark leather steering wheel. After a particularly bone jarring bump, she tightened her grip, ever more determined to get to Pip’s as quickly as possible. As the driveway came into view, Jodi slammed on the brakes, the tyres desperately trying to grip the loose dirt surface. The Rover fishtailed through the gateway. With a grunt, Jodi changed down gears and ploughed on through. She brought the four-wheel drive to a skidding halt alongside Pip’s house. Throwing the door open she flew out of the vehicle, retrieved two bags of equipment, and jogged down to the koala pen, where Pip had told her she was. The pen door was open, but there was no sign of her. “Pip?” She strained to hear for any sounds. Then she heard the breathing.
“I’m behind the pen.”
Pip was on the ground with Lucille curled up in her arms. Lucille seemed fine although the nails of her left paw dug into Pip’s T-shirt, blood staining the cotton fabric. The laboured breathing wasn’t coming from her. Jodi’s gaze shifted to the large male roo lying beside Pip, her hand resting on his shoulder. Jodi’s heart plummeted, her guts roiling, as she began to see other signs.
Jodi swallowed her own fear, trying to be calm and brave for her dearest friend.
Apart from the location call, Pip hadn’t uttered another word. Her face was as pale as the coastal dunes.
Jodi opened her bag, removed her stethoscope, and squatted beside the old roo. Gently, she listened intently to his heart, even though his breathing strongly hinted at what she had yet to formalize. She removed the stethoscope from her ears and wrapped the tubing around her neck, like she had done a thousand times before.
She grasped Pip’s hands.
Pip looked up with a quivering chin. “It’s his twilight, isn’t it?”
“I’m afraid so, love.”
Pip nodded and swallowed audibly.
Jodi cringed inside.
Pip stood and held Lucille close, rocking and weeping softly. She kissed Lucille on the top of her head and faced Jodi. “Don’t let him suffer.”
Jodi nodded. They had been down this road before, and no death was ever easy, but Felix was just that little bit more special. With heartfelt emotion, Jodi gave Pip’s hand a quick squeeze, then discreetly opened her bag and removed a syringe and bottle.
She stayed with Pip for several hours, sharing a whisky toast to Felix followed by several pots of tea and many reminiscences. Midnight rolled around and as Jodi slowly pulled away from Pip’s place, she watched as her friend began to turn the soil over for the makings of a new garden.
Jodi managed to hold it together until the clinic came into view. She knew she should just drive by and continue home. But her limbs had become too heavy to lift. All her remaining energy seemed to have left her. She licked her lips and tasted the remnants of the whisky.
She signalled and turned into
the clinic parking lot. She stepped from the car and slammed the door shut, only to realize she had locked the keys inside. A raw cry of frustration tore from her mouth. She stumbled to the clinic’s back door and unearthed the spare key she kept hidden in the pot plant hanging next to the rear door.
There was a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in the bottom drawer of her desk, a Christmas gift a well-meaning client had given her two years ago. It sat unopened, waiting for an occasion to celebrate. While she was in no mood for festivities of any kind, her state of mind was as good a reason as any to crack the seal.
The security light in the waiting room cast dull shadows onto the floor, reflecting her mood. The room smelled of floor cleaner and antiseptic. Jodi left the door open. The scent reminded her too much of the fact that she was supposed to be a qualified vet. One who had graduated at the top of her class. Today it only emphasized her failures.
Jodi clutched her middle as if trying to hold herself together. With lacklustre movements, she picked up a coffee mug on her way through and shuffled to her office. Her heart thudded dully in her chest as she dropped into her chair, opened the bottom drawer of her desk, and lifted the bottle out. She twisted the cap open and filled the mug to the brim. She sighed long and low before she brought the spirits to her lips. She took a sip and let the liquid burn its way to her belly, relishing the warmth as it spread through her body, washing away the sour taste that had built up in her mouth.
Her head was spinning. It had nothing to do with the whisky. It was the voices, the images of all the frustrations and subsequent rebuffs that streamed back into her mind: the mare and foal, Mrs. Rosa and Popcorn, Rocky, and now Felix, the final straw to break. It seemed no matter how hard she tried, how long she worked, it wasn’t enough. In her mental fatigue, she worried she had disappointed so many others. She took a large mouthful of the golden heat and slowly swallowed it, willing to forget and hoping she would eventually be forgiven for her lapses and shortfalls.
She couldn’t escape and go home; she couldn’t get into the Rover. She lowered her chin to her chest and cried openly. She stared down at her hands, hands that were supposed to obey what her brain told them to do. But neither her brain nor hands had cooperated and given her the successes she needed for the people she’d loved, admired, and respected.
“Jodi?”
Jodi looked up with unfocused, tear-filled eyes. She blinked hard and shook her head slightly. “Cole? What are you doing here?” The office light came on suddenly. Jodi groaned and quickly covered her eyes. “Oh, shit. What’d you do that for?”
“I’m sorry. You’re sitting here in the dark. What’s happened?” Cole quickly flipped the light off, plunging them once again into the vague lighting.
“Just had a shit of a day.” Jodi refilled the mug, lifted it to take a sip, and then decided against it. She licked her chapped lips and rubbed her eyes.
Cole disappeared briefly and came back with a bottle of water. She twisted it open and handed it to Jodi.
“Thanks.” She took a long sip. The cool water was a welcome relief to the dryness the whisky had left in its wake.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” Jodi drained the bottle and got to her feet. She swayed a bit and had to take hold of the desk to steady herself. “I just need to go home and sleep it off.”
Cole met her at the desk and put her hands on Jodi’s shoulders. “Look at me. You’re in no shape to drive.”
“You don’t think so?” Jodi stood up straight and looked her in the eye.
“Tell me what happened, Jodi. Tell me so I can understand what’s happening here.”
Jodi took a deep breath and scrubbed her face with her hands. “I locked the bloody keys in the car.”
“What?”
“I went out to Pip’s, I thought to see Lucille. Turns out she’s fine and it was an old kangaroo that was crook, and Lucille knew. She bloody well knew. I put the roo down, stayed with Pip for a bit, then came back here and locked my fricking keys in the car. I can’t go home.” Jodi’s breath caught on a sob.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” Cole took Jodi’s face in her hands and wiped her wet cheeks with her thumbs.
Jodi leaned in to Cole’s palm and closed her eyes. Cole’s touch was so soft, so comforting.
“What can I do?”
The enormity of Cole’s question filled Jodi with more focus than she’d had in days. She let go of the desk and put her hands at Cole’s waist, then met her gaze. “You can kiss me like you did the other day.” She pulled Cole closer and inhaled the soft scents of shampoo and Cole.
“Jodi—”
Jodi pressed her lips to Cole’s and drank in the rest of her words. The warmth and tenderness of Cole’s kiss only served to fuel her need for more. She slid her hands to the small of Cole’s back and pulled her close. She teased Cole’s lips with her tongue and moaned when Cole opened her mouth, allowing their tongues to follow each other in a heated dance.
When Jodi released Cole’s lips, breathing heavily, she pressed her forehead against Cole’s. “What were you saying?”
“I don’t remember.”
They kissed for a while longer until Cole broke the intimate contact. “As much as I’m enjoying this, it’s getting late and you need to go home.”
Jodi held Cole close and rested her head on Cole’s shoulder. Cole’s hips and breasts pressed against hers and filled her with a desire she hadn’t felt since…she couldn’t remember. She forced it down, knowing they were tiptoeing on dangerous ground. This was Cole, for Christ’s sake. Straight Cole. Cole, who worked for her. The same Cole who had always been there for her, looked out for her, had kissed her. On the lips. Her head was spinning. It had been right in front of her all this time. And it had taken until now, for her to completely lose it, for her to realize her attraction. The possibilities. And the problems. “You’re right, as usual.” She lifted her head and looked Cole in the eye. “What are you doing here anyway? Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”
Cole rewarded her with that beautiful one hundred watt smile. “I was actually on my way home from a date. I went to the cinema. When I drove past, I saw the front door was wide open.”
“How did the date go?”
Cole scrunched her nose up. “Not great. But it wasn’t a wasted evening. I learned a few interesting things. But enough about that. Come on. I’ll give you a lift home.”
Jodi looked down at her feet and nodded, not really taking in much of what Cole was saying past the date statement. “Thank you for stopping by.” Jodi squeezed Cole’s hand lightly.
“Me too. Just look what I would’ve missed out on.”
“I’m sorry.” Jodi rubbed her burning eyes. “It was a hard day. Thank you for this.”
Cole stepped back and crooked an eyebrow. “Don’t you dare tell me that the only reason this happened was because you’ve had a bad day.”
Jodi blinked slowly and smiled sadly. Not even close.
Charlie had been out of Australia and away from Pip for just over fourteen days, including a visit to her mom at the end of her trip, in her old hometown of Bangor, Maine. Now, from the boarding gate for her first flight, she did the quick calculation of the time difference in her head and engaged FaceTime, and waited for Pip to answer.
“Good morning, my lovely.”
Charlie smiled upon hearing Pip’s voice. “Hi, babe. It’s great to hear your voice. Your accent always sends my heart aflutter.”
“Oh, you only love me for my accent, do you?”
“There’s so much more about you that I love, but yeah, hearing your accent in my ear gets me going. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. And not just because I don’t have enough hands to feed the six million magpies we have in, who all insist on being fed at the same time.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Same old, same old. What time’s your flight?”
Charlie checked the clock on the wall. “I have a couple m
inutes before we start boarding.”
“I can’t wait for you to arrive safely here.”
Charlie sighed. “Me too. I’m so looking forward to coming home.” Home. Warmth spread throughout her body. When she had arrived in Australia all those months ago, she never envisioned such a life-changing experience. But that’s what Pip and Australia had become. Life-changing. And home.
“Oh. Before I forget. I’ve arranged for your bus ticket to be collected at the airport terminal when you get home. I’m sorry. I’m spewing I won’t be there to pick you up.”
“Sweet, neither of us knew there’d be a conflict when you agreed to that large mammal team conference call. As long as you’re home when I get there, and I can hold you in my arms, I will manage.”
Security had given her no trouble and Charlie passed through without incident. With the crossover of international timelines and dates, she was cutting it fine with her visa’s expiry date, and she had spent far too much time fretting at each checkpoint, nervous that someone would stop her and tell her she couldn’t go home. Her appetite was non-existent, but she decided she could still manage a cold beer, if only to calm her shredded nerves. Once she boarded the final plane, Charlie nearly wept with relief at the expectation of seeing Pip in about eighteen hours.
Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat back and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you.
The flight was smooth and she’d slept through most of it. After collecting her bag she strode through the airport exit. The warm, humid air caused sweat to trickle down her brow. She was back in Australia. The bus ride was non-eventful. A wave of relief washed over her when she was deposited at the end of their driveway. She hefted her computer bag and dragged the duffel down the long path, excitement building with each step closer to home.
Charlie left her bags next to the front door and went in search of Pip. She found her in back with a garden trowel in her hand.
Precipice of Doubt Page 11