She paused to let the barrage of questions linger, as if hoping Keira would answer one of them.
“So? George?” Keira parried, referencing the thirty-five-year-old bachelor owner of the Grill and Chill, who had held Brooke’s heart for many years. Unfortunately Brooke didn’t hold George’s, a matter that had caused Brooke endless indecision.
“You and Tanner were engaged. You have history,” Brooke said, implying that she and George had far less than that. “You haven’t seen him since you left Saddlebank. It’s got to be hard to see him now.”
“He’s part of my past. I’ve got my future to think of.”
“I saw how Tanner looked at you in church,” Brooke continued. “I think he still likes you.”
Keira clenched her fists against a sudden and unexpected pain. “Please, Brooke, can we stop talking about Tanner?” she asked, keeping her voice quiet, her tone neutral.
Brooke sighed and nodded, then glanced past Keira, her face lighting up. “Oh, my. Here he is.”
Groaning, Keira closed her eyes and prayed for strength, for patience and for the next few days to fly past.
Keira knew the moment Tanner stopped by their table. She had no choice but to look up at him. His head was bare; he tapped his worn cowboy hat against his leg. His cheeks still shone from his shave this morning and she saw a tiny nick on his chin. His white shirt was wrinkled but his blue jeans were brand-new. His gaze landed on Keira, his smile as forced as hers, the tension between them thick as syrup.
“Good to see you again, Tanner,” Brooke said in a falsely cheerful voice. “How do you like our new pastor?”
“He’s good,” Tanner said, turning his attention to Brooke. “I appreciated his message and how he delivered it.”
Keira experienced a stab of jealousy at how his smile softened and grew more genuine when he looked at Brooke but tamped it as quickly as it came. She couldn’t allow herself to want or need anything from Tanner.
“And I hear you’re going to the NFR,” Brooke continued, switching topics with lightning speed, obviously ignoring Keira’s faint nudges against her leg.
“Yeah. I had a good year.”
“So, what brings you to the Grill and Chill?” Keira finally asked, knowing her silence was creating a continued awkwardness.
“George here said he could hook me up with a friend who has a place to stay.”
Keira felt relief, with a surprising touch of regret.
“That’s good,” Keira said with false heartiness. “I hope you find a place.”
“I thought you were staying at the Bannisters’?” Brooke asked.
Tanner’s eyes slid from Keira’s back to Brooke. “It’s just easier if I don’t. Alice is there already and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“A burden,” Brooke scoffed. “Refuge Ranch was like your second home. Though I can see why you wouldn’t hang around Alice. I still can’t believe she hasn’t offered you part of the ranch. She knows it only came to her because she married your dad.”
This netted her another nudge from Keira, which Brooke also ignored.
“Have you thought about hiring a lawyer?” she continued.
Another nudge. It was as though her friend was poking a stick around in a bear’s den, determined to get a reaction from Tanner. Brooke knew as much about the history of Tanner and his stepmother as Keira did. Why was she pushing?
“It is what it is,” Tanner said quietly. “I can’t spend too much time looking back over my shoulder. I have to look ahead.”
Keira heard an underlying tone in his voice and knew that in some oblique way he was referring to their old relationship.
“Are Monty and John still leaving today?” Tanner asked, glancing at Keira. “I offered to help load the heifers but they said they would be okay.”
“I think that’s the plan,” Keira said. “Though Dad said he wanted to get some more work done on the saddle this morning before he left, which is why he didn’t come to church.”
“When will Monty be back?”
She knew he was thinking about his saddle. “They’re staying at Giesbrooks’ tonight and coming back tomorrow.”
He nodded. “So will he get the saddle done on time, you think?”
“If he gets at it as soon as he comes back. How long can you stay?”
“I wanted to head back before Thursday.”
That meant he would be gone for Thanksgiving. She felt a touch of relief. It was hard enough that Lee and Heather weren’t coming for Thanksgiving, having Tanner around would make the celebration that much harder.
“Hey, Tanner. What ill wind blew your restless self into town today?” George Bamford joined them, wiping his hands on a towel, his dark brown eyes flicking over the group. George was tall, lanky and favored plaid shirts, khaki pants and sneakers. He’d moved to Saddlebank ten years ago, bought the Grill and Chill and had been cooking up hamburgers and fries ever since.
“Nor’wester,” Tanner quipped.
“Nasty one. Though I hear there’s a storm coming in from the north. Another one of those Canuck clippers that never bring anything good.”
“There’s always a storm brewing in Montana in the winter,” Tanner returned. “So, you find a place for me to stay?”
George’s eyes slid to Keira, the faintest question in them as if wondering if it was her fault that Tanner didn’t want to stay at Refuge Ranch.
Keira picked up her mug and took another sip of the coffee that had lost any hint of warmth just to avoid George’s gaze, Brooke’s questions and Tanner’s presence.
“I did. Buddy of mine has a place you can crash,” George said, flipping the towel over his shoulder, his hands resting on his hips. “He’s gone now but he’ll be back tomorrow for a couple hours. Come to his place at seven in the morning and he can give you the keys. Show you what’s what.”
“Sounds good.”
“You girls need anything more?” George asked, turning his attention back to Keira and Brooke. “You want me to get you a hot cup of coffee, Keira?”
Keira caught her friend’s eager look upward but George wasn’t paying attention to her.
Her heart broke for her friend. She wished she could tell her that guys will always disappoint you. That it wasn’t worth it, but now was not the time or place.
“I’m okay,” Keira replied. “I should get going anyhow.” She reached over to get her purse but before she could open it, Tanner had dropped a handful of bills on the table.
“On me,” he said, slipping his wallet in his back pocket.
“No. That’s okay,” Keira protested. “I can pay for this.”
“So can I,” Tanner said, laying his hand on hers to stop her.
She recognized his usual response to her oft-spoken protest. And for the same slow second she felt the warmth of his hand on hers. The old rhythms of their old relationship.
Her thoughts slipped, unwanted, back to that moment last night when he had helped her bandage her hand. The feel of his hand so familiar it created an ache deep in her soul. A yearning for what could never be.
Then he snatched his hand back and Keira felt her chest crumple.
It was a good thing he wasn’t staying at the ranch anymore. Seeing him every day was too much a reminder of what she had lost.
Chapter Four
The sound of a blustering wind howling around the cabin pulled Tanner out of a troubled dream. He groaned, the fresh injury aching as he rolled over onto his back, sleep getting slowly pulled away.
He lazily rolled his head to the side to check the time. The clock radio beside the bed blinked eight-thirty. As the numbers registered, he sat up and tossed the tangled sheets aside.
Too late. He was supposed to have been out of here before seven o’clock to meet George’s buddy in to
wn.
He jumped out of bed, shivering as the chill of the bedroom hit him. The woodstove must have gone out last night. Snow ticked at the window as the wind gusted. Sounded like a bad storm out there.
He rotated his shoulder, massaging the pain away, then tugged on his clothes and boots, the cold in the room and the late hour urging him on.
Tanner shivered again as he stripped the bed and folded up the bedding to bring to the house. He’d get some clean sheets, bring them back, make the bed, pack up his stuff and leave.
Again.
He should have known that coming back here had been a mistake. Expecting that Keira would open up to him now, in spite of years of silence, was dumb optimism drowning out his common sense. If it weren’t for the fact that Monty had already taken apart David’s saddle yesterday and started working on it, Tanner would turn his back on Refuge Ranch for good.
He put his coat on, turned up the collar, dropped his hat on his head and stepped out onto the deck.
Snow slapped his face and he hunched his shoulders against the howling wind, plowing his way through knee-high snow gathering on the sidewalk. He tried to look down the driveway but the driving snow decreased visibility.
By the time he got to the house, ice stuck to his eyebrows and slipped down his neck. He opened the door to the house and a gust of wind almost tore it from his hand.
As he stepped inside the porch, the door fell shut behind him and he was immediately enveloped in warmth. He set his bedding on a bench, pulled his hat off and slapped it against his thigh. He brushed what snow he could off his jacket, hung it up, toed off his boots and walked toward the murmur of voices from the dining room.
Ellen and his stepmother sat at the table, a little girl between them.
She was shoving pieces of toast in her mouth, smearing half of it over her chubby cheeks and into the golden curls that framed her round face.
Ellen looked up and smiled at him when he came into the room. “Good morning, Tanner.”
She caught the direction of his gaze and smoothed her hand over the little girl’s head. “This is Adana, John’s little girl. Would you like to join us for breakfast?”
Tanner smiled at the little girl, who was engrossed in her food. “No. Thanks. I should have been gone an hour ago.” His gaze ticked over his stepmother, whose attention seemed taken up by buttering some more toast for Adana.
“Pwease. More,” Adana asked, now distracted by the egg his mother was mashing up for her.
“Where are you going in this horrible weather?” Ellen asked.
“I’ve imposed enough. I’ve found a place I can stay until the saddle is done.”
“But you can stay on the ranch,” Ellen protested. “You don’t have to go.”
“I just feel better staying somewhere else. I’ll be back to check on the saddle,” he said, glancing over at his stepmother. “And I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Alice looked up at him, her smile tight, her eyes glinting behind the dark frames of her glasses. “That’s good to know. We’ll be watching your performance,” she said.
Tanner held her gaze a beat longer, thankful for the small moment of connection and acknowledgment. If he won at Vegas or even placed, maybe things would change between them. Maybe that would help him lose that burden of guilt he’d been carrying around the past two years.
“Have a blessed Thanksgiving,” Tanner added.
“You won’t be here for that?” Ellen asked, the disappointment in her voice making him feel wanted. “You know you’re welcome to join us. Lee and Heather can’t come—” She stopped, and Tanner easily heard the pain of disappointment with her other two children.
“I appreciate that, but I have to spend some time at the shop in Sheridan. After all, that pays the bills as much as rodeoing does.”
“Of course. I understand.”
Tanner caught Ellen’s surreptitious gaze at Alice and caught her faint frown. For a moment he wondered what they thought of the situation. They had never said anything to him, but of course, they didn’t know until after he and Keira had broken up. By then, he wasn’t around at all.
Then Ellen turned back to him, her smile back.
“When you say goodbye to Keira, could you tell her there’s a message from one of her supply companies?” Ellen asked. “They need to talk to her about an order.”
He had figured on simply leaving. But he couldn’t say no to Ellen.
“Okay. I can do that,” he said. “Thanks again for your hospitality. And I’ll see you in a few days. Bye, Adana,” he said to the little girl, but she was busy eating.
He was losing his touch, he thought as he left the room. Only one out of the three seemed to be happy to see him, and he didn’t figure he’d do much better with Keira.
Five minutes later he was wading through knee-deep drifts to the shop, his heart sinking with every step. The longer he spent here, the worse the roads would get.
Keira was bent over her worktable, laying patterns on leather, when he came into the shop, bringing in a blast of cold air and a skiff of snow. He saw his saddle pushed off to one side of the bench. Obviously not a priority for her. He stifled his frustration and pasted a grin on his face as Keira looked up from her work.
“Nasty out there,” he said with a strained joviality as he pulled his ice-encrusted hat off, bending down to pat Sugar. “Thought I’d let you know I’m heading out to Saddlebank now. Your mom asked me to let you know that there’s a message for you from some supply place.”
Keira nodded. “Thank you.”
The silence that followed her terse reply was heavy and weighted with unspoken questions but he knew he wasn’t getting anything from her. Which only underlined the reason for him to leave.
So he gave her a tight nod, shoved the door open and then left.
As he got into his truck he looked at the house, its lights barely discernible through the driving snow. He thought of Ellen in her neck brace. What if something happened to her? What if the driveway got snowed in?
He rested his gloved hands on the wheel of his truck, staring at the snow slanting sideways across the yard, his practical nature fighting with his emotions.
He turned the key off. He couldn’t go. He wouldn’t feel right leaving three women and a baby here. Alone in the storm.
Then his cell phone rang. He glanced at the name and number. Monty.
“How are things at the ranch?” Monty asked as soon as Tanner answered.
“Snow’s coming down like crazy,” Tanner said, wiping the fog from the inside of his windshield. “It looks like a bad storm.”
“Here, too. Fact is, we were hoping to get back to the ranch this morning, but we’re stuck in Deer Lodge.” Monty’s voice cut in and out and Tanner suspected the storm was creating the poor reception. “Weather reports say that the highway to the area is closed. Are you guys okay there?”
“Yeah. We’re fine.” Tanner stifled a heavy sigh. Looked as though he wasn’t going anywhere today.
“I feel horrible leaving Ellen alone, and John is worried about Adana, but this storm is worse than they forecasted. I’m so glad you’re there. Makes both me and John feel more at ease.”
“It’ll be okay,” he said, pushing down his own guilt at his own thoughts of leaving. “Anything that needs to be done today?”
“Cows will need feed. Probably could use some fresh bedding in this snow. Keira was going to do that for me today, anyway, so I’d appreciate it if you could help her. She knows where to put the feed and how much they need. Use the Massey. It’s better in the snow.”
“Sure thing. Don’t rush back.”
“We’re not going anywhere until the plow trucks get the road cleared. John is texting Alice to let her know what to do about Adana. If the power goes, the generator is ready to go,
too. I gassed it up yesterday.”
“Okay. We’ll stay in touch.” Tanner said goodbye, then ended the call.
Okay, Lord, like it or not. I guess this is where I’m supposed to be.
He turned off his truck, got out, pulled his coat up and was about to walk over to the shop when he saw Keira coming out, Sugar right on her heels. She was bundled up, hat pulled low over her ears. She was pulling mittens on her hands when she looked up, surprised.
“Just got a call from your father,” he called out as he came closer. “He asked me to stay and help out.”
Wasn’t hard to see the dismay on her face.
“He also asked me to help you feed the cows later,” he continued as he stopped in front of her.
“I was just heading out to do that,” she protested. “I’m okay to do it myself. You can leave.”
“No. I can’t. Your dad called and told me the road was closed. Which means I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not until the plow trucks come.”
Keira gaped at him, looking like a prisoner who had lost the reprieve she thought she had been granted.
* * *
Keira stepped into the cab of the tractor just as Tanner pulled open the overhead door of the shop the tractor was parked in, letting light and swirling snow come inside.
She closed the door of the tractor’s cab and pulled in a long, shaky breath, looking straight ahead. She wanted to pray but right now she was angry with God. For sending the storm. And keeping Tanner here. She felt pushed into a hard uncomfortable spot. Between a rock and a harder rock, as her father liked to say.
Who was also part of the problem, she fretted as she adjusted the seat of the tractor to move it closer to the controls. Had her dad not invited Tanner to stay, he wouldn’t still be here with his smoldering good looks and memories.
She twisted the key halfway, waited for the glow plug light to go off and then turned the key a final turn. Thankfully the tractor started with a roar and a plume of black smoke coming out of the exhaust. Then settled into a deep rumbling as she slowly backed it out of the shop and into the blinding white of the snowstorm.
Love Inspired December 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: Her Holiday FamilySugar Plum SeasonHer Cowboy HeroSmall-Town Fireman Page 45