Her heart thrilled at the intensity in his voice, at the conviction in his words.
“But you were going to compete for David,” Alice pressed. “What about him? What about his memory? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Then Alice turned to Keira. “Did you talk him out of this? Was this because of you?”
Keira heard her father’s gasp, fought down her own surge of pain and anger as she felt Tanner’s hand tighten on hers, knowing that while her own emotions had to be kept out of it, Alice needed to keep the focus on the future. Not the past.
“Tanner made the right decision,” she said, facing Alice head-on. “While I’m sad for his sake he didn’t compete, I’m glad he didn’t do it and, like he said, someday we’ll explain why. But I had nothing to do with why he came back. That was his own call. And I’m glad he did. I know you loved David, but the sacrifices Tanner made for David were for the wrong reason and the wrong person.”
Alice looked baffled, as if trying to catch up to what Keira was saying.
“You also need to know that David and I never really dated,” Keira continued. “We went to a couple of parties together. I never, ever, had any intention of marrying him. He wasn’t the man Tanner is and he never could be.”
“But he told me that he loved you.” Alice’s voice held a note of pleading, as if she couldn’t understand why Keira would choose Tanner over David.
Keira felt the old chill entering her soul. The old shame. Yet as they slipped up past her defenses she felt the warmth of Tanner’s body beside her the support of his arm slipping around her shoulder, pulling her even closer.
She couldn’t let this take over. She couldn’t let David dominate her life anymore.
And then, in a flash of insight, as she held Alice’s intent gaze, she had an inspiration.
“I know how David felt about Tanner. He looked up to him so much and idealized him. Remember how, when he was little, he used to wear Tanner’s boots? His shirt? How he would pretend to be Tanner?” Keira leaned forward, pushing down her own emotions, praying for something she was saying to connect with Alice. She knew Alice thirsted for stories of David and though Keira’s most current stories were not ones to share, she had others that she could. And in sharing those stories, Keira felt that she was, at the same time, loosening the stranglehold David’s assault on her held on her memories.
“I forgot about that,” Alice said, a faint smile easing away the harshness that had tightened her features.
“He loved Tanner,” Keira said. “When he was five, didn’t he put some dirt in his hair because he wanted it to be dark? Like Tanner’s?”
“Remember that time I found that frog for him?” Tanner said, playing along.
“He put it in a jar and carried it everywhere.” Keira’s laugh, this time, was more genuine as she hearkened back to happier, less complicated times.
Alice laughed, as well. “He did love that frog. I think he even called him Tanner.”
They all chuckled together a moment and in the background Keira caught her parents’ puzzled looks. As if they couldn’t understand what Keira was doing with the memories of a man who had done such a horrible thing to her.
But she ignored them and pressed on, a new determination entering her soul.
“We know David loved Tanner,” she said, turning back to Alice. “He worshipped him. And I don’t think, in spite of all the things that happened, that David stopped loving his older brother. And I think that David would want for you to do the right thing with the ranch. With the brother he loved so much.”
Alice drew back a moment; as if suddenly unsure of the direction Keira had taken her and yet, even as wariness clouded her features, Keira could see she had struck a chord. “Maybe,” she said, still prevaricating. Still holding out.
But Keira held her gaze, determined to put recent memories aside for Tanner’s sake. “I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for Tanner. He’s the only son you’ve got left. David would want him to have the ranch. As much as I know about David, I know that to be true.”
She held Alice’s puzzled gaze, felt Tanner’s arm around her, and in that moment she felt as if David’s grip on her memories had lost some of their strength.
Then Alice blinked and Keira saw a track of moisture trickle down her cheek. “You know, I think you may be right.” Then she gave Tanner a wan smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner about this. I guess I still was clinging to my memories of David and was too wrapped up in my own loss. Will you forgive me?”
The question hovered and Keira knew, for a fact, that someday they would have to tell her about David.
But not yet.
“Of course I forgive you,” Tanner said, getting to his feet and bending over to give Alice a quick hug. “You’re the only mother I have.”
She sniffed and nodded. “Thank you for that. And I know what I have to do. With the ranch. It was your father’s, after all.”
“But we can talk about this more later.” Tanner turned to Keira and held out his hand. Keira put hers in it as he gently pulled her to her feet. “As for you and me, we have other things to discuss.”
Keira’s heart thrilled with the promise in his voice and the love in his eyes.
Then she followed him out of the room and to the porch, where they threw on some coats, boots and hurried out to the shop.
* * *
Tanner set himself down on the old office chair that was tucked up against the desk in the workshop. Then, with a smile, he pulled Keira onto his lap and eased out a long, satisfied sigh as he wrapped his arms around her.
“So, this is where my latest adventure started,” Tanner said, holding Keira close, tucking her head under his chin. “I think it only appropriate that this is where I hope to put a happy ending to this part of our story.”
Keira chuckled, her throaty voice thrilling his soul. Then, after a few moments of silence, she traced gentle circles on the button of his pocket. “Do you think Alice will really give you the ranch?”
“I think she will. I think what you said made a difference.” He held her closer, if that was even possible. “I can’t believe you were able to pull out those old memories. I thought even saying his name would be difficult for you.”
Keira heard the faint thumping of Tanner’s heart below her ear, a steady solid rhythm. Just like the man who held her and his arms felt like home.
“I don’t want David to have any hold over me, and bringing up those memories reminded me that, at one time, he was just a cute, fun kid who loved and looked up to you.”
Tanner felt a surge of admiration for this amazing woman who lay in his arms, a miracle in so many ways.
Then, ignoring her protests, he straightened, setting her upright. “But let’s not dwell on the former things,” he said, appropriating the text she’d underlined in her Bible. “I have something important to do right now,” he said quietly, unbuttoning the pocket of his shirt.
He dug around then carefully pulled out the engagement ring he had once given Keira. As it sparkled in the light, he heard Keira’s indrawn gasp of surprise.
“You still have it,” she breathed, one hand resting on her heart as if to contain it.
He turned it around, letting it catch the light. “Yeah. I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s been sitting in a box beside my bed since you gave it back to me. I got it when I went back to check on the garage. I took it with me to the NFR. Thought it would inspire me. And it did. It inspired me to make my decisions for you and for me.” He took her hand, held it up and then looked into her eyes. “Keira Bannister, once again I’m going to ask you, will you marry me?”
Keira’s lips trembled, then she nodded her head as he slipped the ring on her finger. “And once again I’m going to say yes.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, he held her close and they exc
hanged a kiss that sealed the promise. She drew back, tracing his features with her fingers, her eyes holding his. “I should never have broken up with you the first time,” she said. “I promise, I’ll stick with you through everything.”
He touched her lips with his finger. “It’s okay. I’ll try not to give you a reason to break up with me. And so much has changed in our lives.”
“We have gone through a lot,” Keira said quietly, her hand resting on his chest. “And I know that with God’s help, we’ll get through whatever will come in our future. And we’ll do it together.”
“Together. I like the sound of that.”
“And if you want me to move to Sheridan—”
He stopped her with another kiss. “I’ll be selling the garage,” he said. “I’m moving back here. I’m moving back onto my father’s ranch.”
“Do you think Alice will do what she says?”
He held that thought a moment, then nodded. “She will. I think she’s known for a while she should have done right by me, but I never pushed it. I have the best reason to now.”
Keira lowered her head and they shared another kiss. A kiss that sealed their promises to each other.
* * * * *
Dear Reader,
Keira and Tanner had a long road to travel to come back to each other. Each of them carried burdens they had taken on themselves. Burdens that were part of a past they couldn’t let go of. I think each of us has something in our past that creates guilt, or fear, or sorrow. The hard part is to know what to learn from the former things and when to move on. I pray that if you are dealing with guilt from the past that you will know where to lay this burden and to let God allow for a new thing to spring up in you.
Blessings,
P.S. I love hearing from my readers. Stop by my website at www.carolyneaarsen.com or write me at [email protected]
Questions for Discussion
Tanner wanted to dedicate his rodeo season to his brother as a way of atoning for his guilt. Did you think it would help him deal with that? Have you ever carried a burden of guilt over something you have done? How did you deal with it?
Tanner and Keira were young when they got engaged. How do you think that contributed to some of their problems?
Keira had a secret that she guarded from her family and friends. What difference do you think it made to her when she finally let go of it?
In the book, Tanner had a complicated relationship with his stepmother. Did you think this was a realistic relationship? Why or why not?
Why do you think Tanner used David’s saddle? What was the significance of that gesture?
Monty and Ellen have three children, all of whom have had some difficulties in their lives (and you’ll read about the other two in the upcoming books). How do you think her parents truly felt about what Keira told them? How would they deal with it?
Keira made some changes as the book progressed. Did you notice what they were? Why do you think she changed?
Tanner and Keira have had a long, hard road to come to where they are now. Do you foresee a happy ending for them? What things do you think they’ll have to deal with in their future relationship?
What, for you, is the takeaway of this book? How do you think you can apply some of the lessons learned by the characters to your own life?
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Love Inspired story.
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Chapter One
Coffee, doughnut. Coffee, doughnut. Coffee, Danish. Tea, toast. Exile.
Karla Kennedy ignored the ache of longing in her gut as she passed by the unused espresso machine to fill yet another basket of everyday coffee grounds for the ordinary brewer. Bringing an espresso machine to Gordon Falls—even the spectacular one Grandpa Karl had bought her as a graduation present—was an exercise in futility. Since her arrival last week, she’d only used the machine for one customer other than herself: a teenager who wouldn’t know a well-pulled latte from a diner milk shake. Everybody else seemed to find the drinks overpriced and unnecessary, preferring the regular brew in Karl’s clunky white mugs.
No one seemed willing to even try something new and refined—pure exile indeed for a foodie like herself. She might as well just give up and start subsisting on potato chips and Pop-Tarts.
A customer was here. All through culinary school, Karla knew she possessed the intuition Grandpa had told her about—the sixth sense that let her know a customer had come up to the counter needing something. “Shop eyes,” Grandpa called it. Sliding the basket of coffee grounds into its place for the hundredth time on the commercial coffee machine, Karla turned and forced the weariness out of her voice before asking, “What’ll it be?”
“Well, what do you recommend?” If his cobalt-blue eyes weren’t enough to startle her, his question did the rest.
She couldn’t help herself. “A trip back down the interstate toward civilization?” Feeling guilty, she amended to “Or the Tuesday special—coffee and...”
“Two doughnuts,” the guy finished for her. “Pretty popular, I see.”
“A Karl’s Koffee Klassic.” Some days Grandpa’s fondness for K-based alliteration was a bit hard to take. She wanted to love the hokey charm of this place as much as everyone else seemed to, but it just wasn’t coming.
“Myself, I’ve never been one for what everyone else is having.” Mr. Blue Eyes leaned against the counter, swiping off a baseball cap to reveal a mess of reddish-brown hair. Karla was pretty sure he was one of the firefighters from across the street who made up the shop’s regular customer base, but without the usual Gordon Falls Volunteer Fire Department blue T-shirt, she couldn’t be sure.
So he didn’t want what everyone else was having? The espresso machine practically called to Karla from behind the counter. She felt a smile light up her eyes. If she could win over just one of those guys... “Well, you know, we’re trying out some espresso drinks if you’re interested in something different.”
He looked intrigued, peering behind her at the mass of spouts and knobs. “Fancy. Karl’s moving up in the world. How is the poor guy anyway? A broken hip takes a long comeback, I hear.”
“Grandpa’s doing okay.” Karla wiped her hands on a dish towel and reached for one of the new cups and saucers she’d brought to the shop out of sheer desperate optimism last week. The standard-issue stoneware mugs everyone used for coffee in this place had to be twenty years old by her guess. “Three more weeks of physical therapy and he ought to be out and about.”
“You’re Karla,” the man said, a disarming smile brightening his features. “Karl said he was getting you to take over while he was laid up.” He slid onto the counter seat with an athletic grace. “Karla with a K, has to be.”
It was a phrase Karla said over and over whenever giving her name to anyone. “That’s me.” Some days the K spelling was unique and helped people remember her. Other days it confused clerks and was just plain annoying. Another K-based alliteration; Grandpa Karl, Dad Kurt, daughter Karla. Sure, it proved useful for identifying junk mail and making small talk with bank tellers, but outside of Karl’s Koffee it didn’t hold much weight.
The customer unzipped his sweatshirt and stuffed the cap into the back pocket of his jeans. The open sweatshirt revealed a well-worn fire department T-shirt stretched across a broad muscular chest. The scent of early morning and river wafted across the co
unter—a wet, woodsy smell that never ceased to remind Karla of childhood fishing trips. Whoever this guy was, when he wasn’t a fireman he was outdoors and active. He rubbed his hands together as if he found the coffee prospect as exciting as she did. “Okay, Karla with a K, what should I have this morning?”
Finally, a tiny bit of creative license! It was like opening a window to clear a stale room. Karla carefully set the cup and saucer on the table between them. This was what she did best, what got her up in the morning. What filled the margins of her culinary school textbooks with ideas for adventurous menus and exotic flavor combinations. What made her similar to Grandpa but altogether different from him, as well. “Tell me your three favorite foods.”
He raised his eyebrows, then steepled his hands together in thought. Karla’s spine began to hum and tingle. The three other times she’d tried this favorite strategy to create the right coffee drink for someone, they’d huffed as if she’d handed them a final exam, and then ordered plain java. But here was a guy who got what she was trying to do. Who looked as if he found the process intriguing. After an electric moment of deep consideration, he replied, “Your grandfather’s apple pie, a perfect steak and Dellio’s fries.”
The local diner’s legendary fries didn’t provide much of a clue, nor did the steak—except that he was a standard-issue Midwestern male—but the apple pie offered up a hint. “Cinnamon latte with an apple Danish.”
She waited for his nose to turn up. For a fancy-schmancy coffee wisecrack to come. Instead, he smiled. “I’m game. I’ve always liked my coffee strong and sweet anyways, and I am partial to a good Danish.”
Love Inspired December 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: Her Holiday FamilySugar Plum SeasonHer Cowboy HeroSmall-Town Fireman Page 58