“Wow,” said Principal Powell.
“Jude and I only had time to do A through T.” I flipped to the end of the list. “So we got up to tap dance, tickle torture, and toilet. It’s only five pages so far, but we’re not done. I think there’s a lot we forgot to include. That’s why I came. I wanted to see if you had anything we could add. Then, once we’ve finished it, you can make copies. We’ll need enough to give to every kid in the school and also all the teachers. You do have a copy machine in this office, don’t you?”
Principal Powell didn’t say anything. She just sipped from her mug. I listened to the fancy violin music she is always playing. It’s nice music, but it would be way better with some words thrown in.
“I love this idea, my dear, but I don’t think it will work,” she finally said. “In fact, I know it won’t.”
I was shocked. And so disappointed.
“Why not?”
“Because we couldn’t possibly prevent Ezra from thinking about Ziggy. We can’t just wipe him out of his memory. And even if we could, we wouldn’t want to.”
“We wouldn’t?” I thought that was exactly what we wanted.
“No,” said Principal Powell. “Once Ezra feels better, remembering Ziggy will actually be a nice thing for him.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. I didn’t really believe her, but she was the principal so I couldn’t say so.
“What you’re trying to do is find a shortcut for Ezra so he can just hop right over the muck of bad feelings and get to the sunny, clear place where he’s happy again,” said Principal Powell, “but what I’m trying to say is, sometimes you just have to wade through the muck.”
“But I just don’t want him to get stuck in muck, because … yuck!”
Principal Powell laughed. “He won’t. It’s not fun to be sad, but it’s okay. He’ll get through.”
There was a knock at the door, and Principal Powell called, “Yes, Mrs. Rose?”
Aha! So her name was Mrs. Rose! I had to remember that for next time.
“Matthew Sawyer is here to see you again,” Mrs. Rose announced.
“All right, thanks,” replied Principal Powell. Then she walked me to the door. “You’re a wonderful friend, Veronica. I’m so glad Ezra has you in his corner.”
My heart swelled up like an enormous balloon.
Then I saw Matthew Sawyer’s face and the balloon popped.
“I forgot my coat in there,” he explained.
“Matthew Sawyer!” I exclaimed without thinking. “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders.”
“That would be so cool.” He grinned. “I’d dress up like the Headless Horseman every Halloween!”
I was speechless. Just speechless.
Chapter 13
That day at recess, it was so cold, my tag gang didn’t play tag. We found a little corner of the playground where the wind was blocked. Then we made a tight circle with our knees pulled up to our chests and our shoulders touching the people next to us. This creates body warmth and can keep you alive if you are shipwrecked, even in Alaska. It is a known fact, no matter what Jude says. I plan to ask Uncle Eddy about it when he comes back.
We were all trying to decide what to play when Jude and Ezra passed by. They weren’t playing tag, like they usually do, or reading comic books, or laughing. They were just walking and kicking a rock.
“Guys!” I called out. “Wanna play Would You Rather?”
Ezra shook his head.
“Twenty Questions?”
More head shaking.
“Name That Song?”
“No thanks,” he said as the two of them walked off.
“Wow, things must be bad if Ez doesn’t want to play Name That Song!” I said to the others. Then I told them about my great idea to help Ezra and how Principal Powell had rained on my parade.
“She’s right,” said Minnie. She was wearing an enormous pair of fuzzy white earmuffs. “Remember my cousin Valentina, who used to live next door to me? My best friend? Remember when she moved to Puerto Rico last year? I cried so much! I used six boxes of tissues in one week! I thought I’d never stop feeling so bad. But, finally, I did.”
“If my cousin moved to Puerto Rico, I’d be overjoyed,” I chimed in. “But it would be even better if he moved to Siberia.”
Everyone laughed.
“That’s what happened to me when my brother went to college,” said my friend J.J. His face was almost hidden by a huge orange scarf wrapped around his neck. “I still miss him, but it’s just not a big deal anymore. I got used to it.”
“So we’re just supposed to sit back and wait?”
“Pretty much,” said J.J.
Then quiet Noah piped up. He hardly ever talks, so when he speaks, we all listen. “My dad always says, ‘Time heals all wounds.’”
“Well, not all wounds,” Minnie said. “Time won’t heal an anaconda bite. You need an antidote for that.”
“But I can’t stand just waiting!” I said. “I mean, I’m the president of the Fix-It Friends, for crying out loud—”
“Technically, you’re not,” Cora interrupted. But I couldn’t reply, because I was on a roll.
“We can’t just twiddle our thumbs and do nothing!”
“Well, why don’t we ask him what he wants?” squeaked Cora.
Good old sensible Cora.
“It’s so simple, it just might work!” I exclaimed.
I ripped off a blank piece of paper from the big list of things never to say to Ezra. Then we all helped write this note:
Dear Ezra,
What can we do to make you feel better?
1. Take you to Disneyland?
2. Buy you a new computer?
3. Take you to the zoo to visit those weird spiders you like?
4. Give you a makeover?
5. Finish making Shimmy Strikes Back?
6. Open up a nacho stand in the lobby of the Monroe?
7. Give you a coconut you can attack with a screwdriver?
8. Fill in the blank: ____________________
Sincerely,
The Fix-It Friends
When we finished, I tried to find Ezra to give it to him, but he must have gone to the bathroom or his mom’s office. I found Jude, though, crossing out stuff on his Lost and Found list.
“Lots of stuff was claimed,” he said oh-so-happily. “Matthew Sawyer’s stepdad came and collected seven gloves, three hats, one lunch box, and a sneaker.”
“A sneaker?” I asked. I shook my head in disbelief.
“Can you give this to Ezra?” I asked Jude, handing him the note.
Jude read the note and frowned. He crossed out items one, two, and six.
“No Disneyland, computer, or nacho stand,” he said. “Not realistic. The rest are okay.”
I rolled my eyes. It drives me so crazy when he acts like a grown-up. I mean, aren’t there enough grown-ups in the world already? We don’t need another one who is really just a kid!
Chapter 14
That afternoon, when Granny and Pearl came to pick us up from school, Pearl had a humongous smile on her face.
There, on her lap, peeking out from under her blue fleece blanket, was a little black, furry face.
“Ricardo?”
“Gwanny found him!” Pearl exclaimed.
I looked more closely at Ricardo’s face.
“He looks different,” I said. “He’s got his whiskers back.”
“Yeah, and he looks really clean,” agreed Jude. “Did you wash him?”
“Goodness gracious, I’ve never seen children so troubled to see something clean and fixed up. Don’t you worry about it, sugars.”
I smiled. Granny was right. The important thing was, Ricardo was found. Now Pearl could be happy again. And I could get a good night’s sleep.
Granny brought me to gymnastics class, where I almost did a back walkover all by myself! I called into the waiting area for Jude to watch, but he co
uld not tear his eyes away from the book he was reading, The Quest of Queen Kong.
As soon as we got home, I walked into my room. I’d had a long day, and all I wanted to do was flop onto my bed and read How to Talk So Dogs Will Listen.
But I couldn’t flop onto my bed. Because someone was already on it!
No, it was not Goldilocks. If only it were! I always had a feeling the two of us would get along.
It was Little Nicky!
With his shoes on!
And his feet on my pillow!
He was reading a book about—what else?—sharks. Except that I could tell he wasn’t really reading it, just making up the words.
“THIS KIND OF SHARK IS CALLED THE MONKEY-HEAD PURPLE-NOSE SHARK. IT CAN TRAVEL FOUR MILLION MILES AN HOUR. IT EATS GRIZZLY BEARS FOR BREAKFAST AND IT SPEAKS FRENCH.”
Granny, Pearl, Jude, and I stood in the doorway, watching him.
I gave a look to Jude that said, He’s bonkers! And Jude gave me a look back that said, Didn’t you already know that? And I gave him a look back that said, Yeah, but not quite how much!
The great thing about brothers is, you can say all this stuff without any words.
Pearl looked scared. She clutched Ricardo very tight and tugged on Granny’s hand.
“Gwanny, bath time,” said Pearl, pulling Granny out of the doorway.
Little Nicky kept pretend-reading: “THIS NEXT SHARK RIGHT HERE IS CALLED THE PLAGOBLAGOYAYA SHARK. IT LIVES IN ANTARCTICA AND IS SANTA’S PERSONAL SHARK. HE LIKES CHILDREN AND HE MAKES A GOOD PET.”
I was furious.
“Can you please get your feet off my pillow?”
But instead of getting off my bed, or taking off his shoes, Little Nicky just kicked my pillow off the bed. Then he kept on reading.
“NOW WE COME TO THE BEST SHARK IN THE UNIVERSE. IT IS CALLED THE NICHOLAS SHARK. IT IS KNOWN FOR BEING THE SMARTEST SHARK IN THE OCEAN. WHEN HUMANS SEE IT, THEY RUN SCREAMING. SOMETIMES THEY ARE SO SCARED, THEY EVEN PEE THEIR PANTS.”
Jude couldn’t take any more: “Sorry, Little Nicky, but I need to do my homework in this room. Can you find somewhere else to go?”
“WELL, I’M DOING MY HOMEWORK, TOO,” Little Nicky insisted. “BUT I NEED TO WEAR YOUR GLASSES TO DO IT. GIVE ’EM TO ME.”
I could see that Jude wanted to rip that book out of Little Nicky’s hands and shred it into a thousand pieces, then burn those pieces in a bonfire.
But Jude is pretty good at keeping his temper. He took a deep breath and said, “Sorry, Little Nicky, but these glasses are not a toy. I need them to see.”
“SO DO I.” Little Nicky pouted.
Jude bit his lip to keep from shouting. “I guess I’ll take my shower before I do my homework tonight. Maybe it’ll be relaxing.” Then Jude slipped off his tortoiseshell glasses and handed them to me.
He whispered, “I’ll be in Mom and Dad’s bathroom. Guard these with your life.”
“AND NOW FOR THE SLOWEST SHARK IN THE WORLD. IT IS CALLED THE VERONI-CACA SHARK AND IT HAS YELLOW HAIR AND BLUE EYES. IT IS SLOW. IT HAS NO TEETH. IT IS THE WORST.”
“Little Nicky!” I cried. “Are you talking about ME?”
He looked up at me oh-so-innocently. “I’M JUST TALKING ABOUT THE SHARK THAT HAS THE SAME NAME AS YOU.”
“Veroni-caca is not my name and you know it!”
“OKAY, VERONI-CACA!” he shouted. Then he exploded into the biggest, meanest laughing fit you ever heard. He was laughing so hard, he was kicking all the sheets and stuffed animals on my bed, with his dumb shoes still on!
I marched right over to where he was lying. I held my finger up to his face, like I meant business.
“You better cut that out right now!”
But he did not cut it out. In fact, he laughed even louder.
I was about to grab him by his collar and throw him off my bed. But before I could do anything, I heard a bloodcurdling scream coming from the bathroom downstairs. I dropped everything, including Jude’s glasses, and ran downstairs to help.
At first, nothing looked wrong. Pearl was sitting in the tub and Granny was standing next to her, trying to calm her down. Then I looked closely at the bathwater. It wasn’t clear the way water should be. It was gray. It looked like the gross puddles near the sewers when it rains.
I didn’t know what to think. Then a terrible idea popped into my mind. Our house was haunted! It was the only possible explanation.
“Begone, ye ghosts!” I yelled. “BEGONE!!”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, there are no ghosts,” cried Granny. Then she turned to Pearl and said, “Sugar, I told you Ricardo couldn’t go in the bath!”
That’s when I saw that Ricardo was lying at the bottom of the tub, and Pearl was kicking him away. Except it didn’t quite look like Ricardo. Because this rat wasn’t black. This rat was white with gray splotches.
“It’s not Wicawdo!” Pearl wailed.
Granny lifted Pearl out of the dirty water, wrapped her in a fluffy towel, and gave her a big hug.
“Granny and Gramps just wanted to make you happy. So we went to the store where your mama got Ricardo, to get a new one. But they only had the kind with white fur. So we thought, ‘Heck, that’s nothing a little spot of black dye can’t fix.’”
I gasped. “You mean, this Ricardo is an impostor?”
“I suppose so,” Granny said.
“I want MY Wicawdo!” Pearl sobbed, burying her head in Granny’s shoulder.
Before I could say anything, I heard another scream. This one was coming from my other sibling.
“LITTLE NICKY, you have gone TOO FAR!”
“BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”
I ran in and saw Little Nicky holding Jude’s glasses.
Well, half of Jude’s glasses. The other half was lying on my bed.
Jude was wearing his bathrobe. His face was flaming red.
“And YOU!” yelled Jude, spinning to face me. “I told you to guard them with your life! I knew I couldn’t trust you!”
I was aghast!
“I am aghast!” I exclaimed.
I know it seems like I made that word up, but I did not. It means “horrified.” Jude taught it to me.
“I’m the one who’s aghast!” yelled Jude. “You are a pest! That’s what you are! A pest!”
Then Jude grabbed both halves of his glasses and stormed out of the room. I felt so furious and sad and confused. All of a sudden, I missed Mom and Dad so much, I couldn’t stand it.
I dashed to the phone and dialed Mom’s number, but she didn’t pick up. So I left a really long message.
“Mom, help! Everything is a disaster. Pearl lost Ricardo, and we thought we found him, but it turns out the new Ricardo is an impostor! And Little Nicky broke Jude’s glasses, and now he’s probably blinded for life! And worst of all, Ziggy died and Ezra’s miserable. We need you! Please fly home ASAP. If no planes are available, you may have to take a private jet. I’m sure there are plenty of private jets in California because that’s where the movie stars live. So, please, hurry home! And, if you can, try to stop at Disneyland on the way and get me a pair of Mickey Mouse ears, because I have always wanted those.”
After I hung up, I was so sad and tired that I went to bed. It was so early, I didn’t even have any dinner or anything, but I didn’t care. I was just ready for the day to be over.
Chapter 15
The next morning at breakfast, Jude was wearing his glasses again. Except now, they had a big lump of silver duct tape in the middle, over his nose.
“Hey, cool duct tape!” I chirped. “Remember when I used to think the word was duck tape, and I asked Dad why so many poor ducks had to lose their lives to make that tape?”
But I could not sweet-talk him. Jude just glared at me as he ate his yogurt.
“Morning, sunshine,” said Gramps, who was frying up sausage links at the stove. “Your mama called last night. We told her you were out like a light, and she said she’d try back today.”
“I’ll just call her
now,” I said.
“Pumpkin, it’s only four in the morning in California.” Gramps laughed. “You call your mama at this hour, and she’ll be crankier than a coyote with a bee sting.”
I sighed. It felt like I’d never get to talk to my parents again.
Later that day, at recess, Ezra did something surprising. He called an immediate Fix-It Friends meeting, right there on the spot. Jude refused to stand next to me or even look in my direction.
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about your … umm, your trouble,” I said to him.
“I didn’t,” he said, “but I got your note and it got me thinking. I know what will help.”
He cracked his knuckles. That sound made me so happy!
“A memorial for Ziggy,” he said. “That’s what I want.”
“Ez.” Jude smiled. “That’s perfect.”
“My mom says we can do it this weekend, at my apartment,” he said.
“Don’t worry, Ezra. We’ll take care of everything!” Cora promised him.
After school, I went to Cora’s house to plan the memorial. I needed a break from mean Little Nicky and sad Pearl and angry Jude.
Cora and I had a great brainstorming session, and by the time Gramps picked me up, we had planned almost everything. We had a few special surprises up our sleeve.
When I got home, Jude was sitting at his desk doing his homework. He had a different pair of glasses on.
“Hey, where’d you get those?”
I was ready for the silent treatment again, but he didn’t seem so angry anymore. I guess time really does heal all wounds.
“This is my old pair, from last year,” Jude replied. “Mom told Granny where to find them.”
I swallowed hard. “Mom called? I missed her again?”
Jude nodded. I ran into the living room and dialed Mom’s number, but it went right to voice mail. I hung up and tried not to cry.
“Oh, sugar, their phones are off. They’re already on the plane,” Granny said as she put her arm around my shoulder. “They’ll be home real late tonight. When you wake up, they’ll be here!”
The Fix-It Friends--Wish You Were Here Page 4