by Carina Adams
"I miss you."
I heard him smile. "Not as much as I miss you."
I grinned at the wall. "We're fine. Ride safe, Matty."
Chapter 10
Jo
Disappointment settled in after the call, and even though I tried to force it away, I got cranky. Blaming it on lack of sleep, I convinced Cris to let me take a rain check on her plans and she dropped me back off at the apartment before noon, giving me her key fob for the elevator until Rob could order one for me. I was relieved that everyone had cleared out and I had the place to myself. Sinking into the couch, I attempted to read the chapter I had due tomorrow. After a few hours, I gave up and settled on watching television, flipping through channels.
The quiet of the house was unnerving. When the elevator arrived, I was off the couch in an instant, excited not to be alone. A smiling Jessie was not at all what I'd expected. Jeans, a baggy tee shirt, and sneakers made her almost unrecognizable as the same women from last night. She held up a paper grocery bag.
"I brought food."
"Oh." I hadn't even thought about the fact that we didn't have anything here. I could have just ordered delivery, but after eating in restaurants and take out for the last few days, a homemade meal sounded heavenly. "Thanks!" She started pulling out ingredients, filling the counter. "Anything I can do to help?"
She smiled as she set a pot of water on to boil and then pulled out a skillet. "Nope. Cooking is how I unwind after a long day." She popped open a bottle of beer, taking a long sip. "I'd love some company, though."
I pulled out a stool and sat, watching her, not sure what to say. She moved around the kitchen with ease, proving that she'd been here many times before and that she knew it a hell of a lot better than I did. I wondered if she was here to cook for me or my roommate. "Rocker isn't here."
She looked up, surprised. Her eyes moved over my face and then she smiled sweetly. "I know. He called and asked me to come by. He was worried about you being alone all day. I thought it'd be a good chance to get to know you."
I sat up a little straighter, suddenly worried. Was Matt the man she planned on going after next? My voice was cold when I asked, "Accessing the competition?"
She stared at me for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "If you had asked me that last night, I'd have said yes. I didn't know what to think about a woman I'd never heard of suddenly not only moving in, but also disappearing from the party like you did. But, today Rob called me the same time Mateo called his ol’ lady. I'm gonna wager that was you on the other end of the phone, L.K. Or, should I call you Joey?"
I smiled at that. "Jo is fine."
She dumped a box of rigatoni into the water, stirring it. "You're different than I thought you'd be. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just surprised. I thought he'd end up with someone like..." she chuckled, "Well, something different. He needs a woman that will keep him on his toes. I've heard the stories, and have no doubt you can do it." She met my eyes. "You and me? We're gonna be great friends." I paid close attention, trying to see any evidence that she wasn't being genuinely nice. There wasn't any. This woman was completely sincere.
"Stories, huh? Should I be worried?" She shook her head, obviously not willing to share what she had heard. I picked at the counter in front of me. "I'm not his old lady. I'm not sure what we are, but we definitely aren't married."
Her mouth fell open as she stared at me, shock evident. I wasn't sure what I had said that was that surprising and shifted uncomfortably. She recovered, offering me a small smile. "Dean told me how civilian you were, that you didn't know a thing about us, but I just assumed, since it was Dean, that it was a bit exaggerated." She took out a package of hamburger, breaking it into the skillet. "It doesn't matter what you label it. No matter how you look at it, that man is head over heels in love with you."
I smiled. "I hope so, 'cause I'm crazy about him, too." I sighed. "He and I seem to be worlds apart, though. I can't guarantee what tomorrow will bring." She'd hit the nail right on the head when she said I didn't know a thing about them. Once again, I felt like I was an outsider looking in.
"Jo," she said sympathetically, as if she could read my thoughts, "do you know why they call him Mateo?" I shook my head. "It means 'God's gift.' As in God's gift to women. They've been calling him that for as long as I can remember—at least eighteen years. He used to be horrible, with a different fuck every night." I stiffened. If she was trying to help, she was failing.
"That all changed about ten years ago—he suddenly wasn't interested in the club girls. He'd talk to everyone, act like the Mateo we all knew, but it was obvious that he was taken. Everyone knew he was unobtainable and it just turned 'em on even more. He became the ultimate challenge. Who could get his attention away from this mystery girl he was wrapped up in?"
Seriously not helping. The burger sizzled as it fried, and she took turns scrambling it and swirling a spoon around the pasta.
"Then he came back one weekend with a wedding ring. There were plenty of broken hearts, a lot of shattered dreams. After a few months, though, we realized he wasn't bringing the wife around. She was a separate life for him. That meant he was still fair game."
It was my turn to be shocked. "What? He was married. How does that make him an option?" The look she gave me made me immediately want to eat my words. Of course she would know that I'd slept with Matty while I was still married. "Yeah." I held a hand to my chest. "Kettle, meet Pot.”
She laughed again, grinning. Becky, Matty's ex-wife, was amazing, and I prayed Jessie wasn't going to tell me that he'd cheated. As hypocritical as it would be, I didn't know how I'd feel about him if he’d done that to sweet Bex. "The Bastards don't typically do it, but it isn't unheard of for a man to have a wife outside the club as well as an ol' lady inside the club. He had no interest. A few years later, when the ring disappeared, the girls got excited thinking the old Mateo was back and they'd have a shot." She carried the pot to the sink, draining it.
"What none of us realized was that it was never his wife that had stolen him away. It was you." Adding pasta sauce and the meat to the pot, she mixed it all in. "You may not realize you're his ol' lady. Hell, he might not have even said the words out loud yet. But, I can promise you, there isn't a single man in this club that doesn't know. Soon, the women will, too."
Opening one of the cupboards, she pulled out two pasta bowls and came back to the stove to fill them. "You're not competition, Jo. Even if I wanted Matty, which I don't, I couldn't begin to compare to you in his eyes." Grabbing forks, she came around the island and sat with me. "You're one lucky bitch. I'd kill for someone to love me that much.”
After a few bites she continued. “You're always going to have problems, whether you're with Mateo or someone that lives in your world. None of us know what's coming tomorrow. He loves you. Enjoy it."
The chop suey was delicious. We made small talk while we ate, and I told her about my kids. I was surprised when she told me she was thirty-three. She seemed so much older than I was, but looked so much younger. She'd said she'd known Matty for eighteen years, which meant that she'd known him since she was a young teenager. I couldn't help but wonder how long she'd known Cris. They were the same age—had they been friends?
After we finished our dinner, we sat on the couch and talked more, not touching on any serious topic. Jessie was funny and sweet, and as much as I felt like I was betraying Cris, I could totally see she and Rocker together. Talking to her was like catching up with an old friend. I was a little sad when she told me she had to go, but she offered me a hug and promised that she'd check on me later in the week.
I called my kids, listening to them on speakerphone tell me how much fun they'd had with their grandparents. After we said goodnight, I cleaned up what I could, leaving on the lights in case Rob came home tonight, and took the stairs down to Matty's room. I hoped he would call me soon, because I needed to tell him that Jessie was right. I was ready to start over.
Chapter 11
/> Jo
Two days. Forty-eight hours. Well, forty-seven hours and thirty-nine minutes I’d been waiting for it. But, the call never came. I had gotten a text message from an unknown number that said, I’m so sorry! I assumed it was from Matty, that his phone had died sometime over the last few days and he’d borrowed one to send a text to me. But, maybe that was wishful thinking and it was actually a wrong number. Maybe someone out there was wondering why their loved one never apologized. Or there was a groveling husband wondering why his beloved wife never responded after he apologized. Maybe by not writing back, I’d broken up a nice, innocent couple.
Or, maybe my imagination was running wild because I’d been alone for two days. Cris and Jessie had taken turns visiting me, trying to keep me entertained. Neither of them had heard anything either, but apparently that was nothing new. The Bastards, Jessie explained, were known to take off for days at a time at a moment’s notice. I honestly couldn’t figure out how Matty had been able to do that with work. Sam had been sick a lot over the years, and it always seemed like Matty or Bex would catch it right after, making Matt miss another day of work. Now I wondered if any of them were actually sick. One more question to add to the pile, and one more answer I hoped I would have one day.
I talked to Teagan every day, but hadn't filled her in yet. I tried to keep things generic, wanting to wait until I had something definite to tell. Her stories were a great distraction, and made me a little homesick. My Boston friends called me every night, but they both worked, so I was on my own during the day. If I wouldn’t have had class, I’d probably have gone crazy. I missed my car. I’d taken a cab to school, walked to the grocery store, and had food delivered. If I’d had my car, though, I could have gone exploring. It was nice getting reacquainted with the city I used to love. So much had changed in such a short time.
I was beyond lonely though. I shook my head at the realization. Obviously my original plan of finding an apartment by myself would never have worked. I would have gone mad in within the first week. Hell, if the boys didn’t come home soon, I might still go crazy. I pulled my casserole out of the oven before checking the time once again. Forty-seven hours and fifty-two minutes.
“Somethin’ smells delicious.” Startled, I almost dropped the pan, and then I paused, not sure if maybe I’d moved onto the next level of loneliness and was now hallucinating. I turned slowly, just in case he wasn’t real.
He looked like shit. He was wearing the same clothes he’d worn on Saturday night, except now they were filthy and covered in road grime. His beard had grown in even more. It was the most hair I’d ever seen on his face and it gave him a sketchy, mountain man look. Worst of all was the pure exhaustion that couldn’t be hidden. I wasn’t sure if he’d slept at all in the last few days, but if he had, it wasn’t for long periods of time. All that mattered to me right now, though, was that Matty was here. Right in front of me.
I ran across the room and jumped onto him, not caring how dirty he was. I just wanted him in my arms. He smiled, leaning down to kiss me. “Christ, it’s good to see you!” Pulling me into him, he held me tight, arms locked behind me. I could feel the tension flowing off his body. Something was wrong, very wrong. I tried to pull away, but he was too strong. “Just let me hold you a minute, please Joes?” I stopped struggling, but my mind whirled in a thousand different directions. Was it Rob? One of the others? Did someone get hurt?
Matt sighed, but I couldn't tell if it was in annoyance or frustration. “Jesus, Joes, I can practically hear you thinking.” He grabbed my shoulders, holding me at arm’s length from him so he could look in my eyes, and then he sighed again, sadly this time. “I can’t stay long, but I needed to see you.”
Of course he couldn’t stay long. It was early evening, but he was still three hours from home. He didn’t look up for the drive, though, and I was tempted to ask him to stay with me. After missing the last two days of work, I was sure he couldn’t miss a third, but I couldn’t let him leave this tired. Wracking my brain to think of something that might wake him up before he left, I smiled. “Do you have time for a shower with me?”
His entire face perked up and he smirked. “I’ll make time.” I grabbed his hand, yanking him down the stairs, determined to make the most of however long we had together.
As soon as I was through the bedroom door, I started to strip. My shirt was over my head in seconds, and I started to wiggle out of my jeans before it hit the floor. By the time I’d made it to the bathroom door, I was as naked as the day I was born and a trail of clothes was laid out like a treasure map that lead Matty right to me. He hadn’t followed me, though. Instead, he was leaning back against the closed door, one foot propped up behind him, biting the knuckle on his index finger as he watched me.
Before I could ask what he was waiting for, he groaned. “I’ve had dreams like this,” he pushed himself off the door and swaggered towards me, “where you come here, take off all your clothes, and tease me. I always wake up before I get to touch you.” He reached out a hand, running fingers along my collarbone lightly, as if to make sure I was real. The fingers trailed down my chest, between my breasts, over my stomach, and onto my hip.
He stood so close that I could feel his breath on my face while he looked over every inch of me, and I fought the instinct to cover myself and hide. There was a lot more meat on my body than there had been last summer. I’d let the irritation of the divorce and the stress of losing Matty get to me, and I’d packed on an extra fifteen-ish pounds. I was curvier than I’d been in a long time, and a lot more woman than I was sure he was used to.
His eyes met mine, watching me carefully for a few minutes. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful and you don’t even know it, do you?” His voice was low, practically a whisper. He reached out his other hand, and following the same trail slowly, ended up on my other hip. “Joes?” he bit his bottom lip as his eyes met mine again, and I knew he was asking if I was sure I wanted this. I nodded.
He picked me up and my back hit the wall before I even realized we’d moved. His hands skimmed down my hips, onto my ass, and then to the underside of my thighs, pulling me as close to him as I could get while he was still fully clothed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, desperate for contact. His mouth moved up my neck, his tongue drawing a line and his lips blowing on it, his beard tickling me—the combination sent shivers down my spine and made my muscles clench.
I tangled my fingers in his hair, trying to pull his head back, needing to kiss his lips. He was stronger though, and he continued his tantalizing journey—lapping, blowing, and sometimes nibbling—up to my ear and back down onto the front of my neck. Helpless to do anything else, I rocked my center against his jeans, the denim providing just enough friction to make me moan.
He ran the tip of his nose back up my neck, onto my face, and his mouth closed over mine, claiming me. All too soon, he pulled away, releasing me and backing up. My feet were not ready to hold me, and I leaned against the wall, confused. He grinned as he looked me over once more. “Fucking amazing.”
Shrugging off his jacket, he let the leather drop stiffly to the floor before he reached over his shoulders and grabbed his shirt, yanking it over his head. I inhaled, appreciating the view. While I had packed on the pounds, Matty had apparently exercised his stress away. He’d always had a fit runner’s body—muscular in all the right places with a six pack and that V that drove me crazy. Now, all of him was toned and well-defined. Thick peck muscles rippled with every move he made, his abs belonged on a model, and even his stomach looked like it would feel like solid rock. Amazed at the differences, my fingers ached to touch him and explore this new Matty.
I’d forgotten how beautiful the art on his body was. The words "Only God Can Judge Me," above a heavily shaded cross were on his right peck. Below it, there was an odd drawing that I had never asked him about. A giant anchor started right below his breastbone and stretched over the middle of his stomach. A large angel, hands clasped and head hung in prayer, filled up
his left side. Above it, a Claddagh covered his heart, surrounded by tribal knots that wove up his shoulder and down his arm into a half sleeve. I’d only gotten a few of the backstories, but the pictures made me want to know why he chose the things he had. I skimmed each tattoo quickly as he unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off, realizing a moment later that I could see my favorite tattoo because he was just as naked as I was. I tore my eyes away from the words "Suck My" on his pubic bone, moving up the rest of him. All my insecurities snuck back in as I saw him in all of his glory. I didn’t know how I could ever be enough for this Greek God.
His gaze darkened as I met his eyes, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. Before I could do anything, he reached down, eyes still on mine, and wrapped a hand around his gloriously large erection. He moved his hand up and down, slowly pumping himself.
“Look at me, Jo.” Growly and deep, his voice held a command that I couldn’t disobey. "Watch me." I glanced down, fascinated as his thumb swirled over his tip. “You do this to me. Every fuckin’ time I think about you. I’m hard for hours. Watching you strip off your clothes, knowing that it was for me…” he trailed off as he went back to the slow pumping, “drives me fucking nuts.” I swallowed, not sure if I should reach out and touch him. “Get on the bed, Joes.”
I didn’t hesitate, didn’t think twice. I don’t remember climbing up, lying down on my back, or Matty crawling up behind me. It all happened so fast. He laid down next to me, his head propped on an elbow next to my mine. He smiled down at me, a small sexy smile that grew into a giant seductive grin as his free hand traced circles around my belly button.
Slowly his hand drifted lower, running over the curve of my stomach and down onto the top of my thigh. “So fuckin’ soft.” Bending his head over mine, he nipped at my bottom lip. “Open for me.” As I moved my legs apart, giving him access to my most secret spot, his lips pressed against mine.