And Serena did tell her. She told Nonna the entire story about Steven and his wife. She thought Nonna would be ashamed for her, but she wasn’t. She listened to her, and when Serena was finished, Elena took her hand across the table.
“That’s a sad story, cara,” she said. “I feel sad for Steven.”
“Don’t you think he was wrong to lie to me like that?” she asked Nonna. “Don’t you think he should have told me the truth at some point?”
“Yes, I do,” Elena said. “But I can’t know everything that was going on or what was in his mind. It sounds like a situation that got away from him. I believe he acted out of love.”
“You do?” Serena said. She couldn’t believe Nonna was being so understanding.
“Yes, I do. His wife sounds dangerous, and that’s scary to me. It must have been scary to him, too. I think he was trying to protect you from her.”
Serena didn’t say anything for a while. Nonna got up and refilled her coffee cup.
“What about Jeff?” Serena asked Nonna. “I love Jeff, too. I really love him.”
“I don’t know, cara. I think only you can make the decision about Jeff and Steven. Only you can decide which man will be there for you through your life, which one loves you the most. Only you can decide.”
“I don’t think I can go to work today,” Serena said. “Is that okay?”
“Of course, cara. It’s okay. Jimmy and Olive can handle things. Take it easy today. You’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“Thank you, Nonna. And thank you for listening to me without judgment.”
“In matters of the heart,” she said, “there can be no judgment. It’s amore.”
After Nonna left, Serena went back to bed. She needed sleep more than anything. When she woke up hours later, it was early evening. She had to let Jeff know something. It wasn’t fair to leave him hanging.
Jeff answered his phone on the first ring. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“I don’t know what I am right now. But I wanted to let you know what happened with Steven.” She told Jeff the whole story, from start to finish. He listened. When she was finished, she said, “I feel sad for Steven. He’s been tortured this whole time dealing with it.”
Jeff’s tone was measured when he replied. “I agree. It’s a terrible situation. I can’t blame the guy for wanting to keep it from you.”
“But he shouldn’t have done what he did,” Serena said. “He should have trusted me enough to tell me.”
“If he’d done that,” Jeff said, “then he wouldn’t have had you. You wouldn’t have seen him anymore.”
“That’s true,” she said. “I’m just so confused about it. Wanting him to have told me the truth but knowing it would have been the end of us. My thoughts go all over the place about it.”
And then he said what Nonna had said. “You’re the only one who can make the judgment about it. You’re the one that you have to live with, in the end.”
When he said that, Serena realized a part of her had been expecting him to tell her, in no uncertain terms, what to do about Steven. She had hoped that Jeff would make his feelings for her more definite. That he was willing to fight to keep her. But he was leaving it all up to her, when she didn’t even know her own mind.
“I’m not coming in tonight,” she said. “I’ll see you Monday.”
Nonna was home, had been home for a while, when Serena went downstairs.
“I brought you something to eat,” Nonna said. Serena ate the pasta puttanesca, rich with tomatoes and capers and olives, in the kitchen. It was Adrianna’s favorite recipe, and Serena felt her eyes water as she thought about her beautiful, stubborn mother. Adrianna had loved only one man in her entire life. Serena wished it could be so clear-cut for her.
She poured two glasses of brandy and handed one to Nonna. Together, with Rosie on the couch between them, they watched the latest Jane Eyre movie. Serena had probably seen every movie version of Jane Eyre, but this one spoke directly to her that night. Jane had fallen in love with Mr. Rochester and agreed to marry him. She didn’t know that Mr. Rochester had a mentally ill wife who lived there, in a wing of the mansion. Jane and Mr. Rochester made it to the altar before everything fell apart; before Jane found out about the existing Mrs. Rochester. Jane was devastated and ran away. But the lure of Mr. Rochester took her back to him. He was a sad and tragic figure, blinded from a fire at the mansion that killed his wife.
As they watched the movie, Serena couldn’t believe the parallels to her story with Steven. And didn’t she feel sorry for Mr. Rochester, having to live with the knowledge of a mentally ill wife, wanting only to have love?
After the movie, Serena and Nonna went to bed. The next day, Serena was filled with an overwhelming desire to see Steven.
Serena didn’t call ahead of time. She thought fleetingly about Janet and worried that somehow she would be at Steven’s, but she dismissed that idea. She walked up his steps and he opened the door. The growth of his beard was several days old, and he would have looked sexy if he didn’t look so tormented. Serena walked into his house.
“I just want to know if you’re getting a divorce,” she said right away.
“Yes. My lawyer called me yesterday and said she has signed the papers. It’ll be legal in thirty days. Finally.”
She put her arms around Steven and he held her. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this,” she said. “Really sorry.”
“I’m sorry for what I put you through,” he said. “I know it wasn’t right.”
“I don’t know what to think right now,” she said. “I’m not sure about anything. I know I believed we were in love with each other.”
“We were,” he said. “I still am in love with you. But I know you may not be able to get beyond everything that’s happened.”
“I’m thinking about it. It’s taking me a while,” she said honestly.
She kissed Steven and felt nothing but tenderness for him.
“I’ve got to go,” she said, pulling away from him. She was afraid that if she stayed another minute, she would be in bed with Steven and she wanted to keep a clear head. At least she wanted to try to keep a clear head. She looked back at him before she walked down the stairs. He stood there looking at her and tried to smile. She smiled back.
On Monday, Serena went to work as usual. Her mind was in such a struggle, she had a hard time concentrating. There were bills to pay, but she could not keep her mind focused. When the after-dinner crowd started coming in, she went out to the bar. Jeff brought her a cocktail, like always. He had a defeated look in his eyes. Joe was there, playing the old classics, like always. Everything was like it always was, but Serena felt a sea change coming in her life.
Jeff stayed away from her that night. That was good, because Serena didn’t know what to say to him. She knew she would eventually have to talk to him, but it was okay to wait on that. Wait a little longer. When most of the people had left, Jeff walked around to her barstool. He took her hand. “Want to dance?” he asked.
A sadness came over Serena then. Her heart ached. She took Jeff’s hand and they danced slowly. When it was over, Jeff asked if she wanted to go upstairs. She agreed and they made their way to his bedroom.
“Do you want to talk to me, Serena?”
“Yes, but I don’t know how to say it,” she said.
“Are you going with Steven?” he said. It killed him to ask, knowing what the answer would be.
“He needs me in a way that you don’t,” she said. Jeff wasn’t so sure about that. He needed her. But he knew that he would survive. Maybe Steven wouldn’t.
“Then you need to go to him,” he said.
Serena put her arms around Jeff and he hugged her. He didn’t want to let her go, but he had to. Serena put her lips to his and then she was gone. He looked out of his bedroom window that faced the front and watched her get in her car and drive away.
He wouldn’t be able to stay at Rossetti’s with his broken heart bleeding all
over the place.
Chapter Nineteen
Serena walked up the stairs and the door was open. She went into the dark room, illuminated only by the moonlight. He stood looking out the window at the night sky. He turned around and looked at her. Her heart was sure.
“I love you, Jeff,” she said.
Jeff walked over to Serena and put his arms around her. He kissed her and she returned his kiss with tender love.
“What made you come back?” he asked. “I thought you were gone forever.”
“I was driving over to Steven’s and something Nonna said kept sticking in my head. It wouldn’t go away.”
“What did she say?” he asked.
“She said that I would know who loved me the most. And that’s you. You love me the most. You loved me so much that you let me go. When I realized that, there was no question in my mind.”
Jeff could hardly believe that Serena was back there with him. He wanted to remain wary of the situation, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing but love.
“I knew that my relationship with Steven would always have a fatal flaw, his lying,” Serena said. “I know why he did it and he might never do it again. But I don’t know that. I would always be wondering about it. Wondering if he was telling me the truth. I don’t want a tragic love story. I don’t want to be Jane Eyre.”
“Who?” Jeff asked.
“Never mind,” she said with a soft laugh.
“I love you,” Jeff said.
“I love you, too,” she said. “Forever.”
Epilogue
“Rosita,” Nonna called from the kitchen. “I’ve got something for you.”
Rosita, who had been officially renamed by that point, jumped off Serena’s full belly and ran to the kitchen for her snack. Jeff put his hand on Serena’s stomach, taking Rosita’s place.
“I felt her kick,” he said with amazement, though he had felt the baby kick many times before.
“She’s kicking like crazy these days,” Serena said. “She’s going to be a handful.”
“Like her mother,” Jeff said laughing. “And her great grandmother.”
Serena laughed. “God help us,” she said.
They both laughed.
“What’s so funny,” Nonna said, stepping out of the kitchen.
“We were just talking about little Elena,” Jeff said.
“I don’t see what’s funny about that,” Nonna said, but she laughed too before going back in the kitchen to tend to Sunday supper.
Jeff took Serena’s hand. “A year ago, I was so dissatisfied,” he said. “And now my life has completely changed. I’ve got you and Elena to thank for that.”
Serena leaned over with a little difficulty. Her stomach was huge. She kissed Jeff.
“I love you,” she said.
In that instant, Serena could see the future. She saw their little Elena playing on the patio at Rossetti’s. She saw Jeff lift her up to look at the stars and the moon. She saw Nonna teaching her to cook.
She saw the future, and it was good.
She said a silent thank-you to her mother, Adrianna, who had loved so passionately. It really did come down to just one love. There could be no other.
********************
I hope you enjoyed Serena’s Choice. If you join my email list, http://eepurl.com/Gldqr, I’ll let you know when my next novel, Runaway, is published. You can read the first chapter of it here:
Runaway
Nicole was enjoying her last night of freedom when Norman Bartow called her to tell her Jack had been in a serious accident.
“Oh, no,” she said, though she didn’t mean it. “Is he all right?”
“He’s got a broken leg. He’s going to be out for a while. It’s a miracle he wasn’t killed.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“He ran into a tree. I don’t know if he wasn’t paying attention or what, but he ran right into a tree.”
“I’ll get there as soon as I can,” Nicole said, not wanting to go to the ski resort to see about her injured husband. Not wanting to do that at all, but knowing it was expected of her.
“They took him to the hospital in Waynesville. There are some arrangements that need to be made to move him back to Rockbridge. I guess you’ll have to take care of all that. Insurance. You know.”
Yes, she most certainly did know. It was her wifely duty.
“Can I speak to him?” Nicole asked, not wanting to speak to him, hoping Norman would say no.
“He’s knocked out right now. They’re giving him a lot of painkillers. How soon do you think you can get here?”
“I’ll leave first thing in the morning,” she said. Norman gave her the name of the hospital. When they hung up, she went back to the couch where she had been enjoying a movie, without the constant comments and criticisms from Jack. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew she had to. She packed a suitcase that night, and early in the morning drove the two hours to Waynesville.
Nicole left the mid-March spring in Rockbridge, Georgia, and arrived at the Waynesville hospital a couple of hours later. She wasn’t prepared for the cold weather and hugged her arms around herself as she walked into the hospital. If Jack hadn’t had an accident, she would be in her house in Rockbridge, relishing her last hours. But there she was, freezing to death.
When she walked into Jack’s room, he was alone. Norman and the other two men who had gone on the ski trip had left for Rockbridge that morning. Jack lay back on his pillow in the hospital bed. His face looked ashen. It was the first time Nicole had ever seen him in a weakened condition. She liked that.
She sat in a chair near the bed, but didn’t say anything to him. The longer he slept, the better for her. The television was on low and she watched the news channel for a long time. Eventually, a nurse came in. Nicole asked her how long it would be before they could move Jack back to Rockbridge.
“I’m not sure,” the nurse said. “The doctor will be in soon and you can ask him about it.”
Nicole wanted to get Jack back to Rockbridge as soon as possible. She needed to get back to her own house where she could figure out how to deal with this unexpected situation.
The nurse brought a tray of food, but Jack was still asleep. Nicole ate the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She ate the Jello dessert, running her spoon around the plastic bowl to get every bite of it. Jack started moaning while she was eating, but he never woke up.
Finally, the doctor came in.
“He’s got a serious break in his leg,” he said. “But I think you can move him home tomorrow.”
“Can I drive him home? Nicole asked.
“Yes, that should be no problem. He’ll have to lie down in the back seat because of his cast. But it should be all right. He’s going to be bedridden for a few weeks.”
Bedridden! She couldn’t imagine Jack in the bed, not being able to move around, not being able to hurt her.
She was watching an episode of “Reba” when Jack woke up.
“Where am I?” he asked.
“You’re in the hospital. You broke your leg skiing,” she said.
“Nicole? Is that you?”
“Yes, of course it’s me. I came to get you.”
“It hurts,” he said.
“I’ll call the nurse,” she said. She hoped the nurse would give him more painkillers so he would go back to sleep. Nicole didn’t want to have to talk to him.
And that’s exactly what happened. The nurse came in and added medication to Jack’s IV and Jack drifted back to sleep.
The chair in the room was very uncomfortable. Nicole spent the night changing positions over and over, trying to get comfortable. Jack moaned occasionally, but he never woke up again.
The next morning was a different story. Jack woke her up from a restless sleep by calling her name, loudly. “Get over here,” he said when she woke up and looked at him. “I need you to call the nurse. I’ve got to pee.”
Nicole pushed the button on the remote and
a few minutes later a male nurse came into the room.
“He’s got to use the bathroom,” she told the nurse.
“He’s going to have to use this,” the nurse said, holding up a plastic container clearly designed for males to pee in. “He can’t get up.”
“She’ll do it,” Jack said.
The nurse handed the container to Nicole and she pulled back the sheets and stuck it on Jack. He peed like a racehorse. When he was finished, she took the container into the bathroom and dumped it in the toilet. She rinsed it out in the sink.
“What happened to you?” she said, feigning concern.
“I don’t even remember,” Jack said. “One minute I was skiing and the next minute I’m here in this bed.”
“Norman said you ran into a tree,” she offered.
“I don’t remember,” he said. “When can I get out of here?”
“The doctor is supposed to come in soon. We’ll find out then.” Nicole wished the doctor would say Jack had to be in the hospital for a week. She would enjoy a whole week without him. There was so much she could do in a week.
A staff member brought Jack a breakfast of eggs and toast, which he ate. When he was finished, she moved the tray out of his way and he flopped back on his pillow. She turned her attention back to the television. “Reba” was over and “Will and Grace” was on. She loved “Will and Grace.”
“Turn that crap off,” Jack said from his bed. “I hate that show.”
“What do you want to watch?” Nicole asked.
“The news channel. Put it on a news channel.”
Nicole pushed the buttons through every channel until she found news. She sat back in the plastic chair. She was so bored.
Finally, the doctor came in, carrying Jack’s chart and looking at it.
“You’ve had a bad break,” the doctor said. “You’re lucky it wasn’t worse than this.”
“He wants to go home,” Nicole said. “Can I take him home?”
Serena's Choice - Coastal Romance Series Page 18