Amanda’s eyes land on Liz and me. “You come all this way for a bar crawl?”
“Never a dull moment with him.” Liz wraps her fingers around my bicep.
“That’s true.” Amanda’s eyebrows lift, and her gaze meets mine for a second.
A squeal comes from the sound system as someone on the stage turns on the microphone.
Lila hooks her arm in Amanda’s “New set. Come on, we’re dancing. Who else is in?”
“I’m in.” Liz raises her hand and looks to me. “You coming?”
“I think I’ll catch up with these guys.”
“Okay.” She shrugs and follows the girls through the crowd.
“You’re going to let your new girlfriend hang out with your old one?” Ross shakes his head.
“Amanda was never my girlfriend.”
Beside me, Mark sighs. “She never even gave anyone else a chance.”
“She’s young.” I shrug. “Nobody’s getting married anytime soon.”
“Except this one.” Bill lifts his glass to Ross.
“Yeah, congrats! I’m happy for you guys.” I lift my drink to Ross. “When’s the big day?”
“Next June, after graduation.”
We talk jobs and bosses, crew, and sports till the girls return.
I turn to Liz. “You ready to turn in?”
“Yes, exhausted.”
We say our goodbyes and wind out through the crowd. Even though it’s past two, people crowd the sidewalks.
“Wow, Homecoming’s a big deal.”
“It wasn’t like this at Temple?”
“Maybe. Actually, I have no idea.” She chuckles. “I wasn’t much of a joiner. Tried to stay away from crowds.”
“Don’t tell me you still have your party years to get out of your system, cause that really won’t work for me.” I shake my head, smiling despite the prospect of late-night drinking binges and rescuing her from clubs at three a.m.
“No, none of that for me. I had enough fun. Plus, the hiking, biking, and rafting is more my style.”
“Good to hear it.” I catch her hand as we enter the parking garage.
The drive back to my parents seems odd, like my two worlds aren’t quite gelling. It felt good to see everyone and catch up, and I wonder how many of them I would be friends with if we weren’t fraternity brothers. Doug and Bill are the only names I can say would be on that list.
“You okay?” Liz’s hand on mine brings me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah. Just weird seeing everyone. Kind of like a different world.”
“I think it will feel weird when I go home too.”
“You have plans to go back?”
“Yeah, my parents bought me a ticket for Christmas a few weeks back.”
I shouldn’t feel hurt that she hasn’t shared this info with me, but I do. “That’s great.” I force my voice to be light.
“How about you?” she asks, crossing one leg under her other.
“I was planning to come home for Chanukah.”
“I’m excited to meet your family.”
“Yeah, I’m glad you’re here too.” I squeeze her hand and refocus on the present.
The next morning when I wake, I can hear voices in the kitchen and jump up. Brushing my teeth, I jog down the stairs to find Liz sitting in the middle of my siblings and parents. Her hand is on Rebecca’s bulging stomach.
She retracts it quickly. “That’s amazing. He or she is a real kicker.”
“I told you. Never stops.”
“That’s how Zack was.” Mom motions to me and sets a plate in front of an empty chair. “Good morning. Have some breakfast.” She wraps her arms around me. “It’s so good to see you.”
Over the next couple of hours, Mom vacillates between interrogating and divulging embarrassing memories from my childhood.
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry about that.” I take Liz’s hand as we walk to the rental car.
“Are you kidding? It was wonderful meeting your family. They’re so fun.”
“Yeah, and as crazy as being in a loony bin.”
“He lives.” Jeff shouts from the court as I toss my bag on the ground Wednesday night.
I join the team at the net.
“Where’s Liz?” Jeff asks.
“She got switched to the cardiac ICU floor this week, so she’s taking the night off.”
“That mean us guys can go out for a beer? I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I return the volley he passes to me.
It feels good to be focused on something other than people. I’d forgotten how much of a stress relief sports gave me. We scrimmage with two teams, winning both matches easily. I hit the showers and replace my sweaty clothes with a pair of jeans and button up.
“You’ve got to get better at this western lifestyle.” Jeff joins me in the gym.
“What’s wrong with what I wear?”
“Too east coast frat boy.”
I roll my eyes. “Try Midwest.”
“It doesn’t matter. Look at me: jeans, flip flops, t-shirt, done. Am I right?” Jeff motions to John as we reach him.
“I don’t have a clue. Rabbi Judah says I have to look professional at all times.” He shakes his head. “I guess rabbis are always on the job.”
I clap John on the back. “Can you join us for a brewski?”
“If you tell me what that is.”
“Oh, sorry, Midwestern for beer.”
“Then, yes.” John closes and locks the gym doors as we exit to the parking lot.
In my truck, I text Liz to let her know I’ll call later. At the bar, Jeff, John, and I catch up on each other’s latest news. It’s good it’s only us. Besides Mitchell and Carlos, Jeff and John are my closest friends in Arizona. It feels more comfortable than with a bigger group. Jeff asks about things with Liz, and I wish I could share my insecurities. On the one hand, things seem good, but on the other, I feel like there are huge gaps in what she shares with me. Like the Christmas trip thing. I decide it’s probably a new relationship thing and to ride it out.
The other big worry is my employment situation, so I talk about that. There’s no telling if they’ll keep me on as a back-up, give me more work, or give me less. I have to wait till contracts come out the first of December. Not working nights helps with my other positions, though. I could work every day if I wanted. But, I plan to work when Liz does.
Leaving the bar, Jeff invites us to his place on Saturday. I give him a tentative yes for two, and as I get in my car, dial Liz’s number.
She answers on the first ring. “Hey, you. How was the bar?”
“Good, it was great to hang out with them. How about you?”
“Quiet night, watching Netflix with a glass of wine.”
“Drinking alone. That bad of a day?” I say into the speaker as I pull onto the road.
“Yeah, it was intense.”
“Well, I’ll let you get your sleep.”
“Okay, text me in the morning.” She ends the call.
See, I tell myself. Nothing to worry about.
The next night, I pick up food at the grocery store, and we grill on her porch.
“So, this weekend, Jeff’s place? You want to go?” I lead with this once we’re settled with our food.
“Sure, sounds good. I haven’t seen those guys in forever.”
I take a few more bites and let her do the same. “So, I can’t believe it’s almost November.”
“Yeah, how did that happen? I love that it’s cooled down. We can do so much more outside.”
“Ditto on that.” I set my fork on my plate. “So, you’re going home for Christmas.”
She swallows her bite. “Yeah, for three days. I have to travel on Christmas because I don’t have Christmas Eve off.”
“Probably a good travel day.”
“Yeah, the prices weren’t too bad. My folks paid for the ticket in lieu of a Christmas gift.”
“That was nice. What about Thanks
giving?” I stab a bite and pop it in my mouth.
“I don’t know. Haven’t thought about it. What about you?”
I shift in my seat. “Me either.”
“You’re such a liar.” She points her knife at me.
“What? Why?”
“You were lying!”
“How can you tell?”
“You looked at your plate.” She stretches her shoulders and back and leans towards me.
“I don’t know how to do this couple thing.” Pouring more wine in my glass, I fill hers up.
Her nose wrinkles up. “You’re so cute.”
“I’m not cute.” My brow tenses.
“You were worried.” She pops a bite of steak in her mouth.
“Not worried, just wondering if we were planning anything.”
“I make double time if I work holidays. I was sort of planning on that.”
“Okay.” I dab my mouth with a napkin. “So, we can plan to work the same time and then have some turkey. Do you want to eat at my place or here? Should we include others?”
“I would love a big gathering. We always have tons of people around for Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah, us too. Okay, I’ll ask Jeff what they’re up to.”
Liz spins her wine. “Are you nervous about Saturday night?”
“Are you?”
“A little.” She rolls her eyes. “The thing with Josie still makes me feel weird.”
“We shouldn’t feel guilty.”
“Oh, I don’t.” She shakes her head. “I just don’t like her.”
I wonder about the part of the story she always skips but decide to let it go. I’m way too serious for this relationship being two months old anyway. We finish dinner and clean up the kitchen.
“Why are we at your place?” I recline on the floor in front of her.
She sits beside me and rubs my back. “The hard floor is good for you.” Her hands press into my muscles, releasing the tension. After a few minutes, I roll over and wrap my arm around her butt. She smiles and kisses me.
“The hard surface is good for your back.”
The corner of my mouth turns up. “That’s my line.”
She presses her lips to mine again, and I pull her to me. Then I roll to face her. My hands trail down her back, over her bottom, to her legs. I grip her leg and pull it into mine. As she breaks the seal between our lips, I feel the cold air replace her warm skin.
“We have to plan something fun for the weekend.”
“This is fun.” I rub a hand down her hair.
“Besides kissing.” Her eyeballs trace to the ceiling and back to mine.
We discuss a hike or ride and then a movie, but nothing seems perfect. I want to do something different, just me and her. After the weekend with my family and upcoming night with friends, we’re due.
“We could go to the zoo, or botanical gardens, maybe Tucson.”
“Tucson.” Her eyes widen. “Let’s do that.”
“Awesome, it’s a date. Sunday?”
“Yep.” Her mouth stretches to a yawn. “But sleep now.”
She stands and tugs at my hands. I inch to a sit and then a standing position.
“Will you bring me lunch tomorrow?” I place a hand on each side of her hips.
“Yes.” She pops to her toes and kisses my lips.
I smile as she crosses the parking lot to me, food bag in hand.
“I thought we could snag a picnic table.” Her grin reaches her ears as we meet.
“You’re going to spoil me. Nothing better to do on your day off?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. This is my excuse to stop cleaning.”
“Your apartment isn’t dirty.”
She rolls her eyes to the sky. “I have Catholic engrained in my brain. I’ll be doing housekeeping every week, whether or not it needs it, for the rest of my life.”
“Not a horrible habit to be in.” I lift one leg over the bench and sit down.
“Brad’s having a thing later, so I’m hanging out with him and his friends.” Liz sits beside me and lifts a sandwich from the sack. “I hope you didn’t expect anything home cooked like fried chicken or something.”
“Then I would be worried about this relationship being doomed. Artery-hardening fried food is the first thing you’d feed me if you wanted me gone.”
“I’ll have to store that away in my brain.” Liz unwraps her meal and takes a bite.
We eat in silence for a few minutes.
“Did you get the invite to Jeff’s place tomorrow?” she asks as she sets her sandwich down.
“I did. You still up for it?”
“I am, if you are.”
“Okay, I guess we’re doing it.” I take a big sip of my soda. “Carlos invited me to his place for a sort of post-season thing, too. I was thinking we could hang out at Jeff’s and then head to the team thing.”
“You’re inviting me to Carlos’s place? A major league baseball player, actually a starting player?” Her eyebrows rise.
“Yeah, why not?”
“I don’t think I’m on their level.”
“What? No.” I wrap my arm around her. “I mean, yeah, it’s a little over the top, you know, party wise, but Carlos is my friend. So, I’d like to go, and I’d like you to come with me.”
Liz shakes her head. “I’m seriously scared of crowds like that.”
“Really, why?”
She turns to face me. “Okay, scared is not the word. I’m not sure what I have in common with them.”
“They’re people. Their wives, girlfriends, friends have normal jobs. A redhead from New Jersey can hold her own.”
“I don’t even have anything to wear.”
I hold up my palms. “We don’t have to go.”
“But you want to.” Picking up her sandwich, she cuts her eyes to me.
“I want to go, but not without you.”
Swiveling to face me, she lifts my sunglasses and looks in my eyes. “Why?”
I sigh. “If I have a girlfriend, I’d like to take her. Plus, I like Carlos and Eva. They’re nice people. I’d like you to get to know them.”
“Have you heard from the team yet?”
“No.” I roll my eyes and drop the last bite on the wrapper.
“Sorry.” Liz rubs her hand down my back. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that. What kind of party is it? I’ll come if it’s that important to you.”
“It’s a Halloween thing. His place is going to be totally decked out.”
“You’re kidding, two things I hate: parties and costume parties. At least Jeff’s thing is costume optional.”
“No, it’s good. No one knows you, and it’s a costume thing, so no pressure on the clothes.”
“But, I have to buy an expensive costume.”
“I’ll treat! It’ll be fun.” I bump my arm to hers. “Tomorrow, after the hike.”
“Okay.” Her eyes drop to the table. “But I’m going to need a serious nap before these events.”
“That works for me. Your place or mine?” I raise my eyebrows, liking the thought of lying beside her.
“Mine.” She stands. “Well, I guess I’ve got shopping to do now.”
I ball my wrapper and stuff it in the bag. “I’m liking how our weekend is shaping up.” I smile, realizing that we’ll be together all weekend.
She stops and spins to face me. “Tucson on Sunday, right? Just us?”
“Yes.” I nod and run my hand down her hair.
“Good.” Her nose crinkles as she smiles.
I lean over and press my lips to hers.
She slaps my arm. “Hey, I work here. That’s why we’re outside.”
“Okay.” I back up. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then. Thanks for the lunch.” I dig in my pocket and pull out a twenty.
“What? No, it’s on me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waves and walks to her car.
“Good morning.” I bend over and whisper in Liz’s ear as I reach her at the trailhead.
“I’m good. How about you?”
“Yeah, good.”
“How was the rest of Brad’s party?”
“I didn’t go back after I talked to you.”
Jeff calls the group to order, and we start on the hike. With the cooler weather, we can go longer distances. We walk an hour to a small canyon and break for water.
“So, you and Liz?” Josie corners me.
“Yeah.”
“Did not see that coming.”
“Really?” I squint at her behind my sunglasses.
“Well.” Josie kicks the dirt. “She’s so anti-social, and you’re all extroverted and stuff.”
“Anti-social?”
“Introverted, maybe?” Her shoulders rise and fall.
I decide to get the awkward part over. “It’s not like we can’t be friends still.”
“Right.” She shrugs. “Okay.” She spins and walks away.
A hand lands on my shoulder. “I see you’re winning points with Josie.” Jeff laughs.
“I guess.”
“Hey, wanted to let you know Isabelle invited Josie and Celeste tomorrow too.”
“Okay, well, it’s good we’ll get all the awkwardness out of the way.”
“That’s the spirit.” He slaps me again and walks away.
Liz rejoins me as we start the return hike. “How are you fairing?”
“I think I’m hitting zero today.”
“Sam was nice to me. She said she was happy for you and me.”
We are quiet on the hike, and I like that I get time for my mind to unwind. Jeff had hinted he and Isabelle might host a Thanksgiving dinner, so that seems like it will be nice if Liz is up for it. I’m not sure how she feels about the group yet. To me, it feels like family away from family, but I’ve been here a month longer and fully immersed myself in their social calendar since day one.
“You’re quiet. The Josie thing get to you?” Liz’s voice interrupts my thoughts.
“Josie thing?”
“I saw you guys talking and her kick dirt and walk away.”
“I’m not worried about her.” I swat the air. “No, thinking about the job and stuff.”
“Isabelle invited us to Thanksgiving at their house. I have to work till three but thought it might be fun to be with friends for the holiday.”
Deepest Scars: A Being Me Stand-Alone Companion Novel Page 20