by Anne Stone
Angelina returned to school feeling much better. Her students were surprised to see her and couldn’t believe their eyes when they entered the classroom. Angelina was sitting at her desk when the school bell rang for the morning. She’d only decided to return to school late in the evening the prior Friday, so no one, including the teachers, knew of her return except Mary and Gabriella.
Angelina snuck into her classroom under the radar, so when her students discovered her, cheers rang out. The other teachers whose classrooms were nearby ran from their rooms to see what the commotion was all about. Everyone was thrilled with her return, including herself. It was time to move on and start the next phase of her life.
Angelina believed in her students writing a daily journal. She hadn’t read them for some time and decided she needed to review them prior to the break. Angelina stayed late every evening since her return. She knew if Alejandro was aware of this, he’d have a coronary, but technically she wasn’t his patient any longer and was no longer his concern. She needed to catch up and determine what her substitutes had done with each of her pre-planned lessons. Angelina had her lesson plans sketched out for the entire year. She’d worked hard at completing this after Mary hired her. Since she was now teaching fifth grade instead of second grade, it took her weeks to feel like she was where she needed to be organizationally in school.
She remembered the night she ran into Alejandro at the bookstore and the ensuing events that led to where she was today. Mary had visited Angelina while she was recovering and told her how lucky both she and St. Margaret’s were when she discovered her résumé at the school office. Never in all the years that she’d been a principal had she seen a teacher so prepared when she’d needed to find a substitute on a moment’s notice, not only once, but twice. She said Angelina was a wonderful teacher and a role model for all.
The evening before classes were ready to dismiss for winter break, Angelina was sitting in her classroom. She’d completed all of her holiday shopping and wanted to finish reading the last of the journals. If she completed this task, then she’d have the entire break to herself. She could rest and just hang out at home with her family and not feel guilty for not working.
It was almost six o’clock. She’d gone out and gotten herself a bite to eat and was just starting on the last journal, Lauren’s. Once she finished, she could go home and finish getting her presents together for her students. She always purchased a book and a new set of pencils for each student, as many of her students had either lost their pencils or sharpened them to bits by winter break. She always had their name inscribed on the pencils, too. That way, everyone knew who they belonged to.
The last assignment she’d given them for their journal was to write about someone that played an important role in their life. She assigned this specifically since, after the first of the year, the school was sponsoring their first Career Day and she wanted her students to be prepared and start thinking about it in advance. It would be a fun learning experience for all. Angelina was impressed with the journals that she’d read so far, as many of her students were influenced by their parents or grandparents.
She took a sip of water and began reading Lauren’s journal. Her writing had greatly improved since the beginning of the school year. Often times, Lauren stayed in at recess because she wanted to complete a thought. Angelina couldn’t believe the depth that went into each entry.
Lauren titled her journal entry, “The Most Important Person in My Life.” As Angelina read Lauren’s journal, she was amazed with what she was reading:
The most important person in my life is Ms. Samuels. I’m sure you may ask why? But why not? She treats us like her own children. Nothing is too important for her. She stays late on a whim to help anyone who needs the extra help. I don’t want you to think that my parents aren’t important to me. They are. They love and support me. They give me anything that I need. They feed and clothe our family and provide us with all the love in the world.
Ms. Samuels has taught me that nothing is too small to care for. I know that I have issues in school and I am working really hard to get good grades. Last year, I could’ve cared less about school. But this year is a different story and Ms. Samuels is the difference in my life. I know now that I am not stupid. I just have to work a little harder than everyone else. She has taught me that I can do anything I want. I just have to set a goal and I can achieve it. She has an “I can do” attitude, and that’s what’s made the difference for me.
Ms. Samuels will someday make the perfect mother. She’ll be a role model for her own children. Someone they can look-up to. I know I look up to her. She has changed my life, and I hope that I can continue to make her proud of me.
Thank you, Ms. Samuels. You’ve changed my life. I hope someday to be a teacher just like you. Loving and caring and always willing to help the underdog like myself. You’re the best teacher in the whole wide world. I am so lucky to have had you in my life.
When Angelina had finished Lauren’s journal, she was a wreck. Tears cascaded down her face. She didn’t realize what an influence she truly was in her students’ lives. She knew she helped some become the achievers they were always meant to be by giving them that little extra push to reach their potential, but Lauren was special, and she was lucky to have her as a student at this time in her life. Angelina reread the entry and cried even harder. She wanted to be the perfect mother, but knew that dream would never come to fruition. Yes, her students were her children and they’d be that way the rest of her life.
Alejandro was running late for his meeting with Mary. She wanted to see if he would be a speaker at Career Day. Unfortunately, he’d been tied up in surgery and was late for their scheduled appointment. He’d relayed a message to her about his delay and she informed him that she’d wait for him. It was late when their meeting concluded. When he started to leave St. Margaret’s, he noticed Angelina’s car in the parking lot. He asked Mary for directions to her classroom and, as he strolled down the long corridor, he thought he heard someone crying. He dismissed that thought from his mind. Why would someone be crying? Everyone should be gone except for Angelina. Her car was the only car in the parking lot, as Mary was expecting a ride from her husband.
He stopped in the hallway. Again, he heard the sobbing. Angelina’s classroom was at the end of the hall. Her door was partially open. Was she the one that was crying, or was he just imagining it? He picked up his stride and found himself outside her classroom. Glancing in the room, he saw her seated at her desk. Indeed she was crying. Her back was to the doorway, but he saw her wiping tears from her eyes.
Opening the door, he walked into her room. She didn’t hear him. Soft music was playing in the background. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” was the current song of choice. He stood there watching her. She was totally oblivious to his presence. As he reached to place a hand on her shoulder, he said, “Angelina?”
She didn’t seem surprised at his presence. She didn’t respond to his touch or voice.
“Are you alright?”
She turned and began to cry even harder. She threw herself into his arms.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just let it out.”
She held onto him like there was no tomorrow. She cried and cried, and as her sobs grew louder, he stroked her back and her hair. “It’s going to be alright. Whatever’s troubling you, we can get through it together.”
“No we can’t,” she said through her tears. “Nothing can fix this. Nothing.”
Alejandro wasn’t sure what she was talking about. She was sitting in her classroom crying. Why? He had to know what had upset her so. “Did something happen to you? Are you in pain?”
“No,” she cried.
“Then, what is it?”
She pointed to Lauren’s journal and continued sobbing. What’s that, he thought. It’s just a notebook. Why would that cause her the tears? She placed her head on his shoulder and continued holding onto him.
Alejandro held her for a time before she was
able to speak. Wiping her face and pulling herself from his embrace, she handed him the journal. He read Lauren’s entry and understood. Reaching for her, he grabbed her into another tight embrace. He brushed a kiss across her forehead. “We will get through this. Together,” he stressed. “I am going to see to it that you get the help you need.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I just had this moment where—”
“Enough, Angelina. You’re not okay. You need to talk this through. Share your feelings with someone.”
“I don’t want to see a counselor. I can get through this on my own.”
“No, you can’t. You need to talk to someone. Please, let me help you.”
“I don’t want anyone to know about this. You’re the only person that knows.”
“Well, I’m no counselor, but let me be the one you talk to. I want to do this for you.”
She nodded and was drawn again into his arms. “I trust you, Alejandro. Please help me.”
“I will. I’ll help you through this,” he said.
“Please help me get over this sadness. It’s just consuming me. I feel like I’m grieving for a lost child, but we both know that isn’t the case.”
He tightened his hold on her. He knew, in his own way, what she was experiencing. He hoped that time would heal her wounds.
They sat in her classroom for a few minutes longer when she said, “By the way, what are you doing here?”
He explained to Angelina that Mary had contacted him about appearing at Career Day. She wanted him to partake in the presentations. Neither Gabriella nor Angelina knew that Mary had asked him to participate. She was saddened by the fact that he was going to speak.
“Why the sad face?” he asked.
“Well, she wouldn’t be asking you to speak if Colleen hadn’t needed the transplant, or I wouldn’t have gotten sick.”
“Why do you say that?”
“How else did she learn about you being a miracle worker?”
“Well, I don’t consider myself a miracle worker. I just do my job.”
Angelina was done for the night. She gathered her things while Alejandro watched her.
He walked her from the building and asked if she’d like to go get a drink.
“I have so much to do.”
“Like what? Tomorrow’s the last day for a few weeks. Whatever could you have to do?”
“I guess nothing really. I was just going to pack up my stuff for tomorrow. Wyatt can probably help me tomorrow morning, though. He’s already out of school for winter break.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Why don’t I follow you home? You can drop off your car and I’ll drive.”
“Okay.”
Alejandro followed Angelina home. He met her at her car where she was struggling with her backpack. “Here, let me help you.”
She handed over her backpack and he grabbed the remainder of her things. Her parents were surprised to see him when they walked through the door.
“Alejandro, what a surprise. What are you doing here?”
“It’s good to see you both. Happy Holidays,” he said as he turned towards her father and shook his hand. Angelina’s mother wondered why the two of them were together. Alejandro explained, “I was meeting with Mary regarding St. Margaret’s upcoming Career Day and saw Angelina’s car. We decided to celebrate the holidays with a quick drink. So, since I was following her home, I thought I’d check on Colleen, too. Is she here?’
“I’m sorry, she isn’t. She’s out with some friends finishing some last minute shopping.”
“Well, let her know that I stopped by.”
“It’s great seeing you. Angelina, do you need help with anything?” asked her mother.
“I’m glad you asked. Since I’m going out with Alejandro, I was hoping Wyatt could help me pack my car for tomorrow.”
“No problem, Angelina,” Wyatt called from the other room. “Show me what you want done and I’ll do it while you’re out.”
“Thanks, Wyatt. You’re a sweetheart.”
Angelina showed Wyatt the packages that need to be loaded into her car. She kissed her mother goodbye, and Alejandro placed his hand on her back as he escorted her out the door. Her mother had a smile on her face. Maybe, just maybe, she thought to herself. “I hope she can find happiness,” she accidentally said aloud.
“What did you say?” asked Wyatt.
“Nothing, son. Nothing at all.”
Chapter Eight
Alejandro opened the car door for her. She was starting to have second thoughts on going out with him. What am I doing, she asked herself. Why am I going out with him? She’d been at an all-time low when he found her crying in her classroom. She guessed that she’d just given in to his kindness. He knew her secret, and he also knew that she needed to talk with someone. That someone was him.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?” he asked.
“For being my friend.”
“Think nothing of it. I consider you a friend as well. Now, let’s have that drink, relax, and enjoy ourselves. Heaven knows we both need to do it more often.”
She nodded.
Alejandro stopped at a local bar/restaurant. He was hungry, and they headed for the restaurant side of the building. The waitress took their drink order. They both ordered a glass of white wine. They looked over the menu while they awaited their drinks. “What looks good to you?” he asked.
In all actuality, she wasn’t hungry. She’d indicated her hunger to appease him, for if she declined his offer, he would worry about her not taking care of herself. What he didn’t know was that she’d grabbed a bite to eat before he’d found her crying hysterically in her classroom. She’d get something light to eat and blame it on the fact that she normally didn’t eat this late. She knew that with his schedule, he ate at all hours of the day. Eating after nine o’clock wouldn’t bother him in the least.
Angelina ordered a salad while Alejandro ordered a dish of pasta. “Is that enough for you?”
“I’m not used to eating this late. This will tide me over. I’m fine.”
“I just want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. Any problems of late?”
“No. I feel great,” she quickly responded.
“Good,” he said. Their meal arrived in record time since the kitchen was about to close—they were practically alone in the restaurant. He felt as though they could talk under these circumstances as no one should interrupt them. They finished their meal and he asked Angelina if she was in the mood for coffee, which she gladly agreed to. The waitress brought their coffee and indicated that they could stay as long as needed. She was going to clean up around them, but if they needed additional coffee, they just needed to ask. Alejandro paid the bill and then turned back to Angelina. Her hand was positioned next to her coffee cup. He didn’t know what came over him but he reached for her hand. She was reluctant at first, but allowed him to hold it.
“Let’s talk.”
“About what?” she asked. She knew where the conversation was headed, but she would try and take it in another direction.
“As if you didn’t already know,” he stated.
Looking away from him, she took a deep breath and swallowed, “Do we have to do this now?”
“Why not? Is there ever going to be a better time?”
Looking him straight in the eyes, she said, “I guess not.”
“Angelina, you need to talk to someone. You don’t want to see a counselor. You don’t want anyone else to know what’s going on. I think I’m it. I am the only person you can share this with. I promise our conversations will go no further than us. Angelina, you’re too important to me. I don’t want to see you suffer. Even though I contributed to your suffering, I want to see you happy.”
“Contribute? What do you mean by that?”
“Well, the surgery caused this problem, and then I didn’t follow up with you as closely as I should have when you returned to school.”
“Let’s not
go there. I don’t want you to have any guilt. If anyone should be blamed, it’s me. I should have sought your help sooner, but I didn’t. I can’t change that. I can only try and move forward with my life. It won’t be as I imagined. My parents won’t understand my decisions or reasoning, but it’s up to me to explain it to them.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“That I will never marry or provide them with grandchildren. That’s my decision.”
“Angelina, you shouldn’t think along those lines. You can still marry and have a family, it just may not be your own biological children.”
“Alejandro, I don’t want to go there now. It’s been a long day and I just want to forget about it. Please, do that for me.”
He looked away from her and dropped her hand to the table. “It’s getting late. How about I take you home?”
“Okay.” She got up from the table and he escorted her to the car. Prior to closing the door, he got down on one knee, looked her in the eyes, and said, “We will have this conversation, Angelina. And it will be soon.”
She didn’t have a chance to reply. He stood and slammed the car shut with a loud thud.
Neither spoke on their drive home. He pulled into her parents’ driveway and turned off the motor. “Angelina, I’d like you to go out with me tomorrow. The hospital is having a dinner in honor of the holidays. I don’t want to go by myself. Will you be my date?”
She didn’t know what to do. He’d been so good to her that she felt she owed it to him to attend. She thought for a moment. She liked Alejandro and decided she wanted to spend the evening with him. She turned towards him and said, “Yes, I’ll go with you.”
“Great. Be ready by six. Cocktails start at six thirty.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.” Thanking him for the evening, she got out of the car and headed to the door. Waving goodbye, she entered the house. “What have I just done?” she asked herself out loud.