by Anne Stone
“Angelina, it’s Jessica, Dr. Alvarez’s patient. How are you?”
“Just fine and you?” Angelina had given Jessica her phone number on Christmas in the event she got lonely and wanted some company.
“Great. I’m feeling a lot better. I was wondering if you had any free time. I’m a little lonely and looking for some girl talk. Are you interested?”
“Sure. I’m not doing anything. When would you like me to drop by?”
“Whenever you have a chance.”
“Let me finish up a few things around here, and I’ll come by in a little while.”
“Thanks. I look forward to seeing you.”
Angelina changed her clothes. She’d enjoyed meeting Jessica at Christmas and thought it wouldn’t hurt her to spend some time with her. In all actuality, she’d forgotten that she gave Jessica her number.
Angelina arrived at the hospital mid-afternoon. She brought Jessica some Christmas cookies that she’d made with her mother and sisters.
“Thanks for the cookies. You didn’t have to bring me anything. I just asked you over because I was bored and was looking for someone to talk to other than doctors and nurses.”
“No problem. I wasn’t doing anything today. I’m happy that I was free so I could come by.”
They talked for hours and were fast friends. They had so much in common. Jessica was from a relatively large family, except they lived a good distance from the hospital and could only visit on weekends. She was also studying to become a teacher. Jessica had been in and out of the hospital after having a kidney transplant six months earlier.
When Angelina was just about ready to leave, someone knocked on the door and in walked Alejandro. He was surprised to see her. “Angelina, what’re you doing here?”
“Visiting Jessica. Hey, I thought you were off this week.”
“I am, but I stopped by my office and thought I’d check on Jessica.”
“That’s so nice of you. Thanks for stopping by,” Jessica said. Alejandro asked Angelina to wait outside the room while he examined her. He then motioned for her to return when he was done. When a nurse came in to check Jessica’s vital signs, Angelina decided to leave. Alejandro was right behind her.
“Wait,” he called. She stopped and turned around. “Where’re you going? Anywhere special?” he asked.
“No, not really. Why?”
“Want to have dinner?”
She didn’t know what to say. He’d been so good to her that, after thinking about it for a moment, she agreed. “Sure,” she said.
“Do you mind coming by my house? I’ll make us something there.”
“Just give me the directions.”
Alejandro did so and she phoned her mother while she waited for him to grab the files that he needed from his office. She told her mom that something came up, and she wouldn’t be home for dinner. Surprisingly, her mother didn’t question her further.
Angelina met Alejandro outside his office and they headed towards the parking garage. Alejandro walked towards the prime parking that the doctors used, while Angelina headed towards the elevator that would take her to the third floor where her car was parked.
It turned out that he lived a short distance from her parents, but Alejandro’s house was in a more rural area. While her parents lived in a subdivision, Alejandro’s house was surrounded mainly by farms. He’d just arrived and was exiting the car when she pulled into the driveway. He waited for her at the front door while she grabbed her coat from the back seat of her car and he showed her inside. Alejandro’s house was quite large for a bachelor. She was surprised by the size.
“Glass of wine?” he asked as he closed the door behind them.
“Sounds great.”
He led the way to his bar that was located in the family room and poured her a glass of wine; then he reached behind himself for a door that he opened and flipped a switch, filling the room with a soft jazzy tune.
In no time at all, he’d whipped up a terrific dinner. He sautéed some shrimp and added it to a fabulous sauce that he’d pre-made and threw it over some angel hair pasta. He also served a green salad and crispy dinner rolls.
“Where did you learn to cook like this?”
“Lots of practice. I used to watch my mom in the kitchen when I was growing up.”
Dinner passed in a blur for Angelina. She enjoyed every bite. She gathered the plates and carried them to the sink where he stood rinsing off the dishes. “Wish I could cook like this.”
“Maybe I can teach you.” He turned and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. Refilling their glasses, he led her into the living room where he’d already lit a fire in the fireplace. “Sorry, but I can’t offer dessert other than Christmas cookies, which I’m sure you’re tired of.”
“Yes. I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve had my fill of Christmas cookies for another year. Thanks, though.”
He showed her to the couch.
“This is really nice, Alejandro. Thanks for asking me to join you.”
“I’m glad I ran into you. Thanks for visiting with Jessica—her family can’t make it here very often.”
“She explained that they lived out of town and could only see her on weekends. Do you think she’ll be in much longer?”
“No. I’ll let you know when she’s ready to be discharged. That way you can say goodbye.”
“Thanks. I hope to stay in touch with her when she returns home. I’m glad that she called earlier. I really enjoyed our talk.”
They sat in the living room drinking their wine and listening to the soft music playing in the background. He turned towards her and removed her glass from her hands. Placing it on the end table, he reached for her hands. “I know now probably isn’t the time to talk about this, but there never will be a good time.”
She looked at him, wondering where the conversation was headed.
“Angelina, have you thought anymore about talking to a counselor?”
She was shocked that he would bring that up now. In her eyes, he’d just ruined their perfect evening. “Alejandro, let’s not go there now. Please… I’m having a really nice time this evening and don’t want to think about that right now.” She withdrew her hands from his.
“Angelina. You’re going to have to deal with it sometime. Let’s talk about it now. Please.”
She looked him in the eyes, then looked away. Taking a deep breath, she glanced back at him and nodded.
He reached for her hands again and held them ever so tightly in his. He wanted her to feel his strength, his desire to help her. He’d do anything for her since he was the only one that she trusted with her secret.
“Angelina, have you thought about this lately?”
“Thought about it?” she said. She didn’t know if she should share with him everything that she’d been going through. Nightly, she had nightmares. Nightmares that started with her happy, holding a newborn, and then always ended in the hospital room learning the news of her condition. That was one of the reasons why she’d been so tired. She was afraid to sleep for fear of waking in tears with her heart pounding.
Looking away from him, she didn’t know where to begin.
He pulled on her hands and shifted his body so that he was now facing her. “Tell me what you’re going through. It’s only going to keep tearing you up.”
Taking another deep breath, she faced him. Tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes. She was trying to control them from slipping down her face. She didn’t want to cry in front of him—he’d seen enough tears from her. Gathering her thoughts, she said, “I think about this daily.” She stopped talking and looked at their clasped hands. “I can’t sleep at night. I have nightmares. I wake up in tears, always with a pounding headache.” Closing her eyes tightly to fend off the tears, she wrinkled her forehead. Drawing her hands to her eyes, she rubbed them with such intensity that her actions caused Alejandro to pull down her hands and draw her towards him, into his arms. She needed to be held closely to wave of
f her fears. After settling into his arms, she laid her head on his chest and continued her story. “That’s why I’ve been so tired. I’m afraid to sleep.”
“Angelina, why haven’t you called me?” he questioned as he smoothed his hand through her hair.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to bother you.”
He set her away from him, startling her in the process. “It’s not your issue to deal with alone. I’m here. I’ve always been here for you. I promised you that I’d be here for you when you elected not to talk with a counselor or your family, and I am.”
“I know what you said.”
“Didn’t you believe me?
“I don’t know. You’re so busy. And—”
“I meant what I said. I’m definitely not too busy for you.”
“I know you say that but—”
“Angelina, look at me.” When she refused to look at him, he removed one of his hands from hers and placed a finger under her chin. Lifting her chin upward, he forced her to look him directly in the eyes. “I would never say something that I didn’t mean. I don’t take this issue lightly. I want to see you deal with this situation, not sweep it under the carpet, or you’ll carry it with you for a long time.”
Sighing, she looked away. “I don’t know what to do, Alejandro. I’ve wanted a family since I’ve been a little girl. Gabriella and I dreamed of this together…”
“You can still have a family, just maybe not how you intended.”
“I can’t go into a relationship with this monkey on my back.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t…” Angelina sighed. “Question for you.”
“Okay.”
“If you were in a relationship, and wanted to have a family, wouldn’t you want the children to be yours and not someone else’s?”
“To be truthful, I will never have a family myself. But if I were to get married and have one, it wouldn’t matter to me. As long as I was with the woman I loved, it wouldn’t matter.”
“Why won’t you have a family?”
“That’s not important. This is about you and your inability to have children, not me.”
“But, Alejandro—”
“I said no.” He stood and abruptly walked away from her. Placing his hands in his pockets, he turned towards her. He needed to get the focus of their conversation back on her. “I’m sure that when you disclose your medical condition to your boyfriend, he’ll understand. If he doesn’t, then you weren’t meant to be together. You can’t help the fact that you got sick. He should understand, and if he can’t, then he’s not good enough for you.”
She stood and reached for him. “Alejandro, I don’t think I’ll find anyone as understanding as you. You understand the issue. Most men won’t. They’ll want their own biological family, and I can’t provide that.”
“Stop,” he said. “Just stop. Why do you believe that? There are good men out there, you just have to find one.”
Shaking her head, she walked away from him. He went to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Turning her towards him, he pulled her into an embrace and just held her. She buried her face into his chest and finally released her tears. He held her while she cried and then led her back to the couch. They sat in silence with the music playing softly in the background.
Before Alejandro realized it, she was asleep in his arms. He fell asleep a bit later, but was awakened by her sobs. It was nearing eleven according to the clock on the wall, and she’d been asleep for a couple of hours. He softly nudged her, trying to awaken her from her dreams until he was successful. Wiping the tears from her face, he asked if she was alright. Nodding, she pulled herself from his arms and stood. “I think it’s time I go home.” Without a thought, she gathered her purse and headed towards the door. He stood and reached for her. She avoided his arms and opened the door. “Thanks for dinner. You’re a wonderful cook.” Crossing the threshold she added, “Have a Happy New Year.”
He stood in wonder—he was perplexed by her behavior.
She ran down the sidewalk to her car. Tears were streaming down her face.
Alejandro just stood in the open doorway. He wasn’t sure what had just happened, what had caused her to run. One minute, she was sleeping in his arms, and the next she was running away from him. If he desired to have a relationship again, he knew he would choose Angelina. He shook his head in disbelief… She was a remarkable woman. She could be his and he could watch over her always—she was a special person in his life and his family’s life as well. But then again, he also believed that it would never happen.
Angelina drove home in tears. What just happened to me? she thought. She had awakened, wrapped in Alejandro’s arms, and it felt so right. This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t want a family and she couldn’t have one. What was she going to do?
She sat in her driveway for a few minutes while she composed herself. Just as she exited the car, her phone rang. She didn’t bother to check the caller ID and just answered it.
“Are you alright?” the caller asked.
“I’m fine, Alejandro. I just got home. Thanks again for this evening.”
“Angelina?”
“As I said earlier, I don’t want to go there. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to discuss this anymore tonight.” She terminated the call, entered the house, and went straight to her bedroom, ignoring her mother’s call. She had to think, and she could only do that alone, without interruption. Her cell rang again and she ignored it. Before she turned it off, she checked the caller ID. It was Alejandro. Sighing, she placed her phone in her purse. Tomorrow was another day. In fact, tomorrow was New Year’s Eve. She’d end the day with the hopes of making the New Year a better year than the one that was on the way out.
Chapter Ten
New Year’s Eve dawned with an approaching snowstorm. As long as Angelina could remember, St. Louis always had a winter storm that affected the holiday parties, and this year would close with what the weather forecasters were calling a snow-pocalypse.
Angelina’s family decided to celebrate the close of the year by renting a downtown hotel suite. Angelina, at the last minute, decided to stay home. She wasn’t in the partying mood. Her parents were disappointed, but seemed to understand.
Earlier in the day, Gabriella called to talk. Angelina told Gabriella of her family’s plans and her decision to stay home by herself. Gabriella listened to her friend and wished her a Happy New Year. Upon disconnecting the call, Gabriella phoned her brother who was home. She informed him that Angelina was going to be alone and that she would have joined her, but she had a date.
“Alejandro, I’m worried about Angelina. She just didn’t seem herself. There was such sadness in her voice. I can’t put my finger on it but—”
Alejandro interrupted his sister. “Aren’t you always worried about her?”
“No… I mean yes. Hell, I don’t know. All I know is that I just got off the phone with her, and she’s going to be by herself this evening, of all evenings, New Year’s. Can you believe that? Her parents are celebrating downtown. They’re going to have a blast. It’s just that I am concerned because she just didn’t sound herself. That’s all.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. I just thought you should know.”
“Thanks for the call. And Gabriella?”
“Yes?”
“Happy New Year.”
He disconnected the call and went about his day.. He knew Gabriella expected him to do something since she was alone, but he was alone, too. What did it matter? he thought.
It had started snowing right after he got off the phone with Gabriella. Before he knew it, almost a foot of snow had fallen. At around six o’clock his power flickered off and on, and then went out and came back on. According to the news sources, more than half of the city was without power. He was thankful that his power decided to stay on, at least for the time being. The winds were howling and the visibility was next to nil.
They were experiencing blizzard-like conditions, and it reminded him of the countless snowstorms he’d encountered while living in Wisconsin.
The forecasters predicted that overnight the storm was expected to dump an additional six or more inches of heavy snow on the St. Louis area. For some reason, his mind drifted to Angelina at home in this horrific snowstorm, most likely without power. He told himself he was crazy for worrying about her, but he strapped on his snow skis and headed over to Angelina’s. Often Alejandro would strap on his skis during a snowstorm when he lived in Wisconsin and tonight was no different. He loved to watch the snow fall as he skied. He discovered he was a little out of practice as he glided down the country roads that led to her house. It took him longer than he expected, but when he approached her street he discovered that she was indeed without electricity.
He dropped his backpack onto the front steps while he removed his skis. Brushing the snow from his hat and coat, he knocked on the door.
At first Angelina thought she was hearing things, but the pounding on the front door continued. She was scared, wondering who would be knocking on her door during this intense storm. She looked out the side window and discovered a rather tall man standing at her door. His back was to the door and she was leery to open it. She wondered if someone had gotten stuck in the street, but she hadn’t seen any traffic for what seemed like hours. When she didn’t answer right away, he turned back towards the house and that’s when she saw it was Alejandro.
She quickly opened the door. “Alejandro, what’re you doing here?”
“Gabriella told me you were going to be alone, and I was concerned that you were alone without power.”
“Come in, but I’m fine,” she said as she reached for a coat hanger from the coat closet. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here.” She snuck her head back out the door, not understanding how he made his way to the house. “How did you get here? I don’t see your car.”