by Anne Stone
Chapter Sixteen
All that remained of the school year was the final mass and annual school picnic. An hour remained before mass, so she decided to reminisce with her class. She wanted each child to have a chance to share something about the school year that had affected them.
Angelina truly loved her students. She had a special bond with this class and was going to miss them dearly. As they went around the circle, the students thanked her for being such a great teacher. They talked about their field trips and, when one student brought up the trip prior to Thanksgiving, Angelina started to get a little emotional. She held it in check, but could feel the tears. Lauren asked her if she were okay. She nodded and said that something had flown in her eye. Reaching for a tissue, she dabbed her eyes and gathered her composure. She still hadn’t really dealt with her infertility.
Another student brought up Career Day. He’d learned a lot and wanted to explore being an architect while another student said that he was thinking about going into the medical field. “Ms. Samuels? You know Dr. Alvarez really made me see what I could do to change someone’s life. I’m thinking about being a doctor just like him.”
Angelina smiled and told Bret that she would pass it along to him. “Yes, Dr. Alvarez is a wonderful doctor.” She again started to think about her infertility and wondered where these thoughts were coming from. She knew that she was going to have to deal with them sooner rather than later. Just as she finished her thought, the bell rang signaling that it was time for mass.
They walked to church and headed down the aisle when a flash caught her eye. She looked over and was surprised to see Alejandro seated in a pew. His watch face had caught the sun’s light. He bowed his head and she acknowledged him with the briefest of smiles. She thought he had been working at the hospital, but then noticed some of the other participants from Career Day seated throughout the church.
Seeing Alejandro brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. She blinked them back, but he saw them glistening in her eyes. He was so attuned to her feelings that he wanted to be near her, so he decided to move from the pew he was in to the one directly behind her. She felt him as he genuflected into the pew. As he kneeled upon entering the pew, he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. He bent forward and whispered into her ear, “You okay?”
She shook her head and he added, “What’s wrong?”
She whispered, “I’ll be fine. Just let me sit here.”
He finished his prayer and sat back in the pew. He could see her wiping her eyes, but let her be. He’d see her when school ended.
During the homily, the priest reviewed all of the special events that occurred throughout the school year and then called each person up that helped make the school year special. He specifically recognized those involved in Career Day. He thanked them for helping the students become aware of the many different avenues they could pursue. He also addressed Alejandro’s involvement with Colleen’s transplant. Alejandro thought the priest went a bit overboard, but he stood proudly and listened to his accolades.
As Alejandro stood in front of everyone, he kept his eyes trained on Angelina. Her head was bent low and he could see that her eyes were closed. When he returned to his seat, he briefly placed his hand on her shoulder. She kept her head bowed. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
At the sign of peace, she turned to him. He hugged her and whispered, “Hang in there. We’ll talk shortly.”
She nodded and turned back to the front of church. When the final song was sung, she walked her students back to the classroom for the final bell of the year. She stood at the door as each student left, receiving many hugs and well wishes for the summer.
Lauren was the last student left in her room. She hugged Angelina and thanked her for her help and support throughout the year. She told Angelina she’d see her that evening. As she started to leave she said, “You’re the best. You helped me so much this year. You taught me to have confidence in myself. One day you’re going to teach everything you taught me to your own children. I hope that I can share with them how you changed my life. Thanks again, Ms. Samuels.”
Angelina barely held it together as Lauren bounded out of the room. Angelina headed back to her desk and put her face in her hands, tears pouring from her eyes. Then, she felt strong arms encircling her shoulders. Alejandro had walked into her room while her head was down. He comforted her the only way he could, by holding her. She started to cry openly. Thankfully, he’d closed her door when he’d entered her room.
As her tears slowed, he moved around her chair and knelt in front of her. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
She started to wipe her eyes. Alejandro reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and wiped at the tears that were cascading down her cheeks. Then, he handed her his handkerchief.
“I guess a lot of emotions today. We were reminiscing about the year and the Thanksgiving field trip was discussed. It brought up a lot of unhappy memories.”
“Angelina, we need to deal with this.”
She nodded.
“I want to help you.”
“I know you do. Let’s discuss this later.”
He smiled at her and reached for her hand. “Follow me home so I can change, and then we’ll come back for the picnic.”
Angelina grabbed her purse and threw it over her arm. Alejandro drew her into an embrace, then they walked arm-in-arm out of her classroom.
Mary greeted them as they were leaving the building. “Are you feeling alright, Angelina?”
Alejandro spoke for her. “She’s fine.” He squeezed her shoulder and said, “Will we see you this evening?”
“Alejandro, you’re coming to the picnic?”
“Wouldn’t miss spending the night with my girl.”
Mary’s eyebrows rose in a question.
“Oh, I guess you weren’t aware, but Angelina and I are dating. All she’s been talking about for weeks is playing those carnival games together.”
Mary smiled and said, “Congratulations. I’m happy for you.” She had had a feeling something had been going on between them for a while.
Alejandro didn’t want to stall any longer—Angelina needed to get out of the building and deal with her latest bout of emotions. He said their goodbyes as he led her to her car. He followed her home and, just as they pulled into her driveway, his cell phone rang. He took the call outside while she changed her clothes, then they headed over to his house.
While he changed, she grabbed them something cool to drink. He joined her on the deck and sat beside her on a chaise lounge. She handed him his drink.
“Alejandro, I know I need to deal with this, but...”
He reached for her hand.
“Every time I think about last fall… Colleen… Everything, I get so emotional. I haven’t been able to sleep…”
“When did this start?”
“I…I haven’t been able to sleep for months. I guess I’ve just been hiding it from everyone. I think it’s catching up with me. Alejandro, I need your help. Please help me.” She started to cry again. He joined her on the chaise and gathered her into his arms. “I’m here Angelina. Don’t worry. I’m here, and I’ll help you.” He held her until she stopped crying.
She looked up at him and brushed her hand across his jaw. “You’re my knight in shining armor. You always seem to be there when I need you the most… I love you.” She couldn’t believe she’d finally said those three words. She loved him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why? That’s how you feel, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It certainly is.”
“Angelina, I care for you so much, but I can’t say those words just yet. Maybe someday I’ll be able to, but not right now.”
“I understand.” Angelina knew he’d been through an awful tragedy, but she’d put her feelings out there and she hoped he’d feel the same way about her one day.
He jumped up from the lounge chair, grabbed her hand, and said, “Let�
��s go. I can’t wait ‘till I see what I win at the duck pond.”
She laughed, hugged him, and thanked him for everything. “You know no one at school, besides Gabriella and now Mary, knows that we’re dating.”
“Well, I guess we’re going to surprise quite a few people this evening, aren’t we?” He placed his arm across her shoulders and led her out the back door.
They parked near the rectory. Just as he was helping her from the car, Father Xavier approached them. “Dr. Alvarez, Angelina. How are you?”
“Just great, Father,” responded Alejandro. Fr. Xavier seemed surprised to see them together. Alejandro decided to face this head on. “Father, Angelina and I are dating.”
“You are? I wasn’t aware of that.” Fr. Xavier was surprised, but seemed pleased with the news. He chatted with them for a few more minutes, then headed to the cafeteria for dinner.
“Angelina, let’s go check out that duck pond,” Alejandro said. As they neared the games, they ran into Gabriella. He hugged his sister, and she in turn hugged Angelina.
“You okay? You seemed a little upset in church this afternoon. I couldn’t get over to you before mass began, and then I saw Alejandro sitting behind you.”
“I’m fine.” She reached for his hand. “I’m so lucky to have your brother in my life.” She reached over and placed a peck on his cheek.
“We’re both lucky to have him.”
“Enough. You’re both going to inflate my ego.” They laughed and enjoyed their evening.
To anyone who saw them walking around the picnic, they definitely appeared to be a couple in love. Angelina, looking up at him and smiling, while he was often seen laughing at any small comment she’d make.
They ran into Lauren and her family. Lauren hugged Angelina and smiled up at Alejandro. Her parents engaged them in conversation. Lauren’s mother thanked Angelina numerous times for helping Lauren after school. As they were ending their conversation, Lauren turned to Alejandro and asked him, “Are you two dating?”
Alejandro was surprised with her question, but nodded and said, “We are.”
“Good. I’m happy for Ms. Samuels. I told her today that she’s the best. She helped me so much this year. She taught me how to succeed and have confidence in myself. I told her that someday she was going to teach everything she taught me to her own children. I hope that someday I can share with them how much she changed my life.”
The light bulb went on for him. He knew why Angelina had been upset when he’d joined her in her classroom. Her tears always seemed to go back to the fact that she couldn’t have children.
Lauren’s family said their goodbyes and wished her a good summer. He wasn’t going to confront her with this latest revelation until later.
Angelina encountered several more of her students throughout the night. At one point, he looked at her and thought she looked absolutely exhausted. He was afraid to comment on it, so instead he told her how tired he was.
He grabbed her hand and said, “I’m totally exhausted. Do you mind if we head on home? I had to fill in for a colleague today and the patient was more difficult than anticipated.”
She agreed. “Yeah, let’s go. Now that you say it, I’m pretty tired myself.”
He wasn’t actually tired, but wanted to get her home so she could get some sleep.
They pulled up at Angelina’s house and her parents were standing in the front yard looking at the flowers her mother had planted earlier in the day. Her father approached the car and opened Angelina’s door. Alejandro came around as her father helped her exit the car.
“How was the picnic?” her mother asked.
Alejandro smiled at them, “It was a lot of fun. I met several of Angelina’s students—”
Her father interrupted them, staring at Angelina, “Sweetheart, you look exhausted. Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s been a long week. Packing up my classroom for the summer and all…”
“Well, I’ll let you and Alejandro say goodnight then. Alejandro, it was good seeing you.”
“Nice seeing both of you, too.”
Angelina’s parents went inside. Alejandro put his hand on her shoulder and looked her directly in the eyes. “We need to spend some time together. Alone… Without interruptions.”
She nodded in agreement. She knew what he was talking about.
“I’m off this weekend. Why don’t I come over tomorrow and pick you up? Pack an overnight bag. We’ll go for a drive and see where we end up. We need time together so we can address our issues. You okay with that?”
“Yeah, but why do I need to pack a bag?”
“Just in case it’s too late to bring you home. I promise nothing will happen unless you want it to.”
She nodded her head.
“Angelina, please get a good night’s sleep. You need it.”
“I know. It’s just that I have dreams…”
“I know. We’ll deal with that this weekend. Now go to bed and I’ll come by tomorrow around nine and we’ll start to confront your demons.”
Chapter Seventeen
Promptly at nine, the doorbell rang and Colleen answered the door. She was surprised to see Alejandro. “Hey Doc, whatchya doing here this early?”
“Your sister and I have a date.”
“Oh… So, are you and my sister getting serious?”
Alejandro was startled by her question. He knew Angelina loved him and, in all actuality, he loved her, too. “What do you call serious?”
“Colleen, it’s none of your business,” Angelina called from upstairs.
“Angelina!” Colleen huffed.
“Don’t ‘Angelina’ me. I’m going to go say goodbye to Mom and Dad. Behave yourself, Colleen.”
“Sorry, Doc. I’m just worried about my sister, that’s all. She’s seemed pretty sad lately. I hope you can cheer her up. If you and my sister are getting serious, I’m all for it. You’re good for her.”
“Thanks. I’ll try and put a smile back on her face. Sound good to you?”
“Yep, sure does. Just take care of her.” Colleen gave Alejandro a quick hug before Angelina entered the room.
Angelina said her goodbyes as Alejandro reached for her bag and they walked out of the house.
“Where are we going?” she asked as they headed towards his car.
“Why don’t we just drive and see where we end up?”
“Let’s go to the Botanical Gardens. We can stroll through the gardens and find a quiet place to talk.”
“Good idea. It’s not too warm, and we can get lost there for as long as we want.”
They arrived at the gardens shortly and walked the perimeter. They passed the Rose Garden and strolled through the Chinese and Japanese Gardens before they found a secluded path near the Herb Gardens that led to a brook with a small waterfall. At the end of the pathway was a wrought-iron bench, and they sat down. Several birds were bathing in a small pool while a rabbit nibbled on a sprig of grass. It was the perfect setting to begin their conversation.
Alejandro drew her close. She laid her head on his shoulder.
“This is nice,” she said.
“Sure is.” Pausing, he continued, “Talk to me, Angelina. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know where to begin. What to say. I don’t know if I can put it into words.”
“Try. Otherwise, this pain is going to consume you. It’s the elephant on your shoulder, weighing you down, causing your sleepless nights. We won’t be able to move forward until you do.”
She sat there quietly, then placed her hand on his thigh. He pulled her in closer. “I thought I’d dealt with this a while ago, but, out of nowhere, it reared its ugly head again.” She took a deep breath. “The last time we talked, I thought I’d come to grips with my infertility. Then, as the school year came to an end, I started to reflect on the year. My mind kept drifting back to Colleen’s accident… the surgerie
s… my infection… At times, I feel like I just can’t take it any longer. I’ve been thinking that teaching might not be the right profession for me.”
Alejandro was shocked by her confession. “Where’s this coming from? From what I can see, you’re an excellent teacher. Your students love you. Look at all the good things they said about you last night. How could you think about giving up a career that means so much to you? Look how you affected Lauren’s life.”
“I know. It’s just that…”
“Just what?”
“Whenever I look at my students, I think of what might have been.”
He reached for her jaw and turned her face towards him. “What do you mean by that? Angelina, you’re a natural. You care so much for each of your students. You’re such a role model to them—”
“I know, but I’m to the point that I want to be that role model for…” She couldn’t keep up this conversation. She jumped to her feet and began to pace in front of him. Alejandro stood, reached for her hand, and led her back to the bench. She sat down and he squatted in front of her, grabbing her hands.
“Go on.”
She started to tear up. As a lone tear cascaded down her cheek, she said, “I want my own child. A child borne from me, and… and… I can’t have that.” She broke into uncontrollable sobs.
He pulled her into his arms and let her cry. “Angelina, you can still have children, just not borne from you. There are other options that you can explore when the time is right. You can still be that mother you want to be.”
“But what about my husband? How will he feel that I can’t have his child? Alejandro, I am so torn with this…”
“I realize that, but Angelina I don’t care whether you can physically have my child or not, just raising a child together would be magical. Seeing you as my child’s mother… I can’t put into words how overjoyed I’d be. Angelina, you’re a special woman. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” He pulled away from her slightly and came to a decision.
“Angelina, look at me.”
She raised her tear strewn face.