A short moment later, she was standing outside her bedroom door.
Not so confident now, hesitating, she looked along the landing. The darkness and steady quiet nearly made her jump.
She tensed.
Now what?
At 12:37 am, there weren’t too many options. Meghan and Rosa were abed, so that meant no lively or entertaining conversations with them at the seemingly late hour.
And her heart’s tormentor---
Her gaze shot towards the short stairs. Up there, she’d probably find Jarrod’s bedroom, she mulled, embracing the fiery heat as it spread throughout her body. Was it possible that her body had a natural detector where he was concerned, she mulled, flushing red.
Before common sense prevailed, she took the stairs leading to his room. The darkness masked her as she ascended, and as she made it halfway, she saw that the door stood wide open. Releasing a shaky breath, she forged on.
Of course, he wasn’t there, she thought, disappointed, taking a look inside as she stood within the open doorway. She took in the sights of the room. Unsurprisingly, a king-sized, mahogany-hued four poster bed dominated the center of the large master suite, and pure masculinity exuded from the room. The curtains were pushed back on the balcony doors, and she saw that they stood open, too. Not too much furniture obliterated the space, she noticed, taking in the wide screen television hanging on the wall and a sparsely decorated night table stood on the left side of the room.
Her eyes strayed back to the empty bed.
She placed a shaky hand over her thundering heartbeat. How many nights had she actually lain there with him and made love?
Was it the very reason that she standing here now---to ask him to touch her in the naughtiest, sinful places and make love to her?
Embarrassed at where her thoughts had gone, she fled, and didn’t stop until she reached the second level. Anyway, she thought, having regained her composure, and stopped outside her bedroom door.
There were two possible places that he could be: the study or the basement. Since she’d left him working in the study earlier this evening, he was probably there finishing up, she blushed, tugging on the wrap’s thin belt.
She stared across the dark landing.
Certainly, she had no right to disturb him, and she was hardly dressed to socialize, she thought, looking down at the powder-blue wrap that barely concealed the matching lacy brassiere and panties.
She combed her fingers through her dark tresses. Probably, her hair was the only thing that was presentable.
However, her thoughts weren’t enough to deter her, and she found herself taking the stairs leading to the lower level. Once she reached the living area, she paused again. A deep silence hummed within the darkened room, and for a brief second, she questioned her decision as well as her motives. Just what was she expecting or wanting to happen, she thought, biting her bottom lip. Then, disregarding her apprehension, she treaded towards the study, and to her disappointment, solitude and darkness drenched the room.
“What are you doing?” she whispered in the darkness, pausing at the open door and shook her head. “Good thing he’s not here. You’d just make a fool out of yourself anyway.”
“Talking to yourself in the dark?”
With a gasp of surprise, she whirled around and collided into a solid chest. “Oh!”
As Jarrod’s arms closed around her, she nearly collapsed to the floor in response. The electricity fired through her, from head to toe, and she struggled to breathe.
Would she ever get used to the fact that he easily set her afire with a simple touch?
She clung to him weakly.
Finally, her gaze adjusted to the darkness.
His stare was equally intense.
And his eyes, she mulled, staring into them helplessly. They were just like green emeralds. And now, they were so intense and filled with something else.
Her pulse rate skyrocketed.
If only he’d rain his fire upon her…
“I-I----” she stammered, biting her lip. “I-I didn’t mean to---”
He stiffened against her. “No, you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry---I didn’t mean to startle you.” With reluctance, he released her. “But, I certainly didn’t expect to find you wandering around in the dark either.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, returning his deep stare, and for the life of her, she didn’t have the strength to look away. Nor did she want to. “So, I came down here looking for a book.”
“Last time I checked, the library was at the other end of the house. Or did you get lost?”
She flicked her eyes over him quickly.
Bare-chested and black pajama bottoms…
At the bottom of her belly, she heard a siren call.
She met his eyes again. “Of course I didn’t get lost. I was just trying to get there without waking anyone, especially at this hour.”
A dangerous glint flared in his eyes. “Oh---I suppose you would be. That’s very thoughtful of you.”
She stiffened.
As she suspected, she was making a fool of herself, she thought, face flaming red. As a matter of fact, subconsciously, hadn’t she come to innocently throw herself at him? Well, maybe not so innocently…
That thought alone was enough to sober her.
“I’m sorry to have disturbed you. Goodnight,” she said, moving to step around him.
With a subtle quickness, he grabbed her hand in the darkness, and stepped closer to her, bringing their bodies dangerously close. “Walk with me.”
“W-walk with you?” she stammered, fighting to ignore the shocks of pleasure ricocheting through her body at the simple contact. Rather than looking at him, she stared at his bare chest.
“I couldn’t sleep either. So, I was about to take a stroll on the beach,” he admitted, grasping her chin, and forced her to look at him. Again, their connection was staggering to the senses. “It seems that we both could use some fresh air. But, I understand if you don’t want to---”
“No,” she broke in breathlessly, searching his face. “It’s exactly what I need.”
Or rather you’re what I need, she thought, embarrassed, looking down.
His voice was deep and low. “Come on.”
Like a meek child, she held onto his hand and followed.
Moments later, the sound of the ocean met them as they stepped onto the balcony and headed for the short steps. Once they reached the bottom, she held onto his hand as he led the way. In a few short minutes, they crossed the small grassy area before meeting the sandy beach.
In mutual silence, they walked along the edge of the beach, being careful to miss the waves as they washed upon the shore. After they’d made way about twenty minutes from the house, he stopped walking and turned to face her. “This spot good for you?” he asked huskily, staring down at her. “Or do you want to go further?”
She watched him.
The words were lodged in her throat.
Her gaze flicked over him.
Dear heavens….
Was he an incarnate of male sensuality?
Hot….hot…hot…
That was the only word to describe him.
The moonlight was creating dangerous magic, making him more appealing and handsome than he already was.
Taut jaw line…
Firm, full lips….
Bronzed skin…
Rich dark hair that was mussed from restlessness…
And heaven help her---
The sensual danger flared in his green eyes like before, and again, she sensed that she was prey while he was the predator.
But, why was she thrilled at that fact rather than afraid, she mulled distractedly, staring at his full lips. If only he’d kiss her, wake her from the dungeon of darkness that’d stolen her memory. Then, could she fully claim the fire that was scorching her now?
As he spoke, she was jolted from her thoughts.
“Didn’t realize that it was that difficult of a question,” he said qui
etly, taking a slight step back. “I suppose it will do then.”
When he released her hand, she fought to hide her disappointment, and without a further word, he dropped to the ground. But, he surprised her as he grasped her hand, and again, the innocent contact sent ripples of pleasure through her. A devilish glint shone in his eyes as he stared up at her. “Come on---surely, I’m not going to have to enjoy this view alone.” Now, a more dangerous look played in his green depths. “Though I must admit that the one you’re offering is more than pleasing.”
A warm flush spread up her body.
Through the thin wrap, her body responded to his words.
Then, the exact truth hit.
What she wanted---
What she wanted from him---
“Stop teasing me,” she said, instead, giving a breathless laugh.
With a subtle slowness, he caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. As he did, he pulled her closer, and he may as well have taken her then. All her womanly senses had shattered for certain, she thought, trembling all over.
And the way that he was looking at her---
The truth shone in his green depths.
A rush of pleasure filled her.
He wanted her, too.
“If anything, you’ll learn that I’m not a man that plays games,” he warned, clenching his jaw tight. Then, he shook his head as if to clear it, and at once, the usual aloofness returned. The shutters fell over his eyes, and his smile was strained. “Come on, sit with me.”
Shaking off her nervousness, she sank down.
For the longest moments, they sat in silence, appreciating the ocean view. But, he broke the tense silence first. “Out here, I lend credence to the notion of lost in paradise.”
“Really?” she asked, intrigued, staring the side of his face. She suppressed another shudder of pleasure. He was simply divine at any angle…
“There’s an openness and freedom here,” Jarrod admitted, staring ahead, and it seemed that he was lost in his own private world. “You are free to be whom and what you are with no pretense. No one judges you----and this outside world embraces every nuisance that makes you be you.”
“I think that way, too,” she agreed softly.
With those last words, they both fell silent.
But, it seemed that the moment called for just that.
“I can only imagine that a man of your position needs a brief respite every now and then,” she said quietly, a few minutes later, staring at the side of his face. “You have too much to deal with sometimes.”
He looked at her. “Think you have me all figured out, don’t you?” he murmured quietly, and a smile curved his lips.
“I think that I do, and a small part of you is afraid of that.” She blushed under his deep perusal. “What strikes me most is the fact that you fight to hide your true self. You don’t allow too many people to get close. It’s your way of protecting yourself from being hurt or rather you hurting someone else. You put up this tough front so that no one can find the real you.” Her pause was poignant. “But, I believe that I can to see past it.”
For the longest moment, he just stared at her, and something flickered in his green eyes, and it was an emotion that she couldn’t label. Yet, one thing was certain---she’d hit home.
But, interest flared in his green gaze as he asked, “And you know or think this because?”
A light breeze swept through, giving her the opportunity to do something with her shaky hand. She brushed the hair from her face and forced herself to maintain his deep stare. “Just being with you,” she said shyly. “There are moments when you’re unguarded, like when we’re with Meghan. However, there are other times that you pull back, like now, with the two of us being alone out here. There’s a part of you that you’re holding back.”
“That’s quite an assessment, my little Jane Doe,” Jarrod said, and the shutters fell over his eyes, and again, he was difficult to read. “It’s one that’s far off base.”
“I don’t think so,” she disagreed firmly, raising her chin. “Like now, you’re pulling away from me, and I’d like to know why you’re shutting me out.”
His jaw tightened. “I’m not shutting you out.”
“Since this afternoon, you’ve pulled back somewhat, especially since I had that small memory,” she said on a low whisper. “Have you always done that in our relationship---pulled back when you were scared of things? Often times, I wonder if the old me---the part of me that’s lost---knew the real Jarrod Sabatino at all. I mean, did you really let me get close enough?”
“Now, you doubt if we even had a real relationship?” Jarrod demanded in a deep tone. Was a hint of anger underlying it as well?
“Why are you so bitter and angry?” she whispered, holding his stare. “What happened in the past that you’re so mad at the world---yourself?”
“You don’t know what in the hell you’re talking about,” he warned, stiffening beside her. “So let’s drop it.”
“No,” she said defiantly, tensing as well. “Memory or no memory, I’m going to know and be with the real Jarrod Sabatino, not this façade that you’re presenting to the rest of the world.”
“Drop it, Olivia,” he warned in a low tone, standing up abruptly. “I think that maybe all of those mystery novels that you read are clouding your brain, and I can easily guess that I’m the villainous bastard--”
She struggled to her feet, and the sand flurried around her like a cloud of dust. “Don’t you dare patronize me! Tell me, Jarrod. What have these last months been to you---a game and nothing else? All this time, have you been pretending with yourself?”
His dead silence stunned her.
But, still, it wasn’t enough to deter her speech.
“It is a game, isn’t it? But, the only one you’re playing is the one against yourself, and you’re too blind to see that,” she accused. “You’re afraid of me---us. I can see it in your eyes every time that I look at you. In the beginning, so was I. But, now, the only difference is that I’m no longer willing to run away from the truth. You’re pushing me away because you’re afraid, aren’t you?” The tears glistened in her eyes. “You’re not alone, Jarrod. I’m scared, too. I’m fighting for my life, and you’re a huge part of it. You’re my only link to the part that I don’t know! But, you’re running away from me---yourself. How will I ever be whole again if you won’t get close enough to me?”
“I told you to drop it,” Jarrod warned again, but an unexplainable emotion shone on his face. Then, he released a frustrated breath, and turned away from her. “This was a bad idea, us coming out here. We’re going back in---”
“No, I won’t let you do this,” she said stubbornly, and then, stunning them both, pushed him hard. Going around him fast, standing toe-toe with him, she blocked his path. “I’m not leaving and neither are you!”
Firing a string of expletives, Jarrod grasped her upper arms and hauled her close. “Damn it, Olivia!” he snapped, and anger played in his green eyes. “Why in the hell won’t you leave well enough alone?” Standing at over six feet, he towered over her easily, and again, the moonlight played dangerous magic as she stared up at him.
Now, they stood so close with only a breath separating them, and just whose breathing was the shallowest, she didn’t know.
The heat….intensity….overwhelming feelings of lust and desire----they claimed her. Him as well, she realized, flattening her shaky hands against his broad chest. Upon contact, the heat between them nearly seared her alive. The wind swept through his dark hair and his green eyes glistened with hot fire. Daringly, she took another step and as their bodies met, she nearly crumpled to the ground from the sensation. Against her, his hard body shook, and she trembled with her own need in response.
Every hard inch of him, she felt him…
The flat planes of his stomach…
The hard rigidness of his manhood---
Breathing fast, she could only return his stare.
If he branded
her with his fire, would she be able to withstand it?
Dear heavens, if only he would…
Her whisper was distraught. “Why are you doing this? I thought that we were getting close to each other again, remembering why we fell in love to begin---”
“What do you want from me, Olivia?” he rasped, tightening his hold, bringing their bodies achingly closer. “Isn’t it enough that you’ve set my whole world afire?”
The thin wrap offered little protection, and oh goodness, her body was responding shamelessly and wantonly, she realized, blushing furiously all over, from head to toe. Through the thin fabric, her nipples tightened, and down below, wetness swathed her insides, and the core of her throbbed for his possession, she thought, breathing faster.
Jarrod Sabatino, the man, the enigma---
He represented danger to her heart, body, and soul, she mulled, sliding her hands up the hard planes of his chest, and received a deep shudder from him in response.
But, heaven help her, again, why was she running to the danger rather than from it?
“I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to know how I feel---”
“Don’t you dare fucking lie to me. Not now. Not when the very truth is searing you alive. You want and need more than sweet words and promises. For weeks, haven’t you wanted so much more, sweet Olivia,” he taunted, and sensual danger flared between them. “But, you’re too afraid to say it out loud. You want me to face some hard truths? Why don’t you face your own?”
“W-what?” she stammered, holding his intense gaze, already knowing the answer full well. “What are you talking about?”
His fiery gaze met hers. “You know damn well what I’m talking about,” he fought back, gripping her chin, forcing her gaze to his when she looked away. “Remember that day in the basement? Your blinding need literally breathed within the walls.”
“I—I don’t understand---”
“The hell you don’t,” he raged strongly, fighting his own inner war, and pinned her trembling body closer. “This is what you want, isn’t it? To be close to me in the intimate sense? You want me to touch you until your very soul bleeds.”
As she stared back at him, no words would come.
Only her breathless gasp penetrated his spoken truth. It was exactly what she sought.
The Pawn (Shattered Series Book 1) Page 14