by M. C. Decker
“You’re not his fiancée, Ireland. Jamie doesn’t even remember you. You’ve no right to his medical information. You’re insignificant. He still thinks we’re married and I intend on keeping it that way.”
“Then why did you remind Bentley that he was going to marry me?” I said, placing emphasis on calling him Bentley.
“I wanted to see his reaction. If he’d remembered you at all then I would’ve let you two continue with this little rebound romance that you have going on. I mean you have to realize that’s all you are—just a fling until he comes back to me.”
I took a deep breath; I wouldn’t let this woman take me down. “We’re much more than a fling and you know it. Besides, you didn’t want Bentley all those years that he was your husband. Why would you want him now? Do your fuck buddies not have money? Don’t buy you expensive presents?”
“I made a mistake, Ireland. I let the best man who’d ever been in my life get away. I still love him. He doesn’t remember the past year and I don’t intend on reminding him. I suggest you do the same.”
“Why would you believe I wouldn’t tell him about your indiscretions and about our relationship?” I shot back. “Are you sure you’re not the one who was hit in the head?”
“You won’t tell him because you can’t hurt him, Ireland. Do you want to be the one to tell him about my affair? You saw the way he looked at me when he opened his eyes. He loves me, Ireland. Do you want to be the one who breaks his heart, and for no reason? He’s already been through enough. Do you want to hinder his recovery? He wants his family. He wants Tanner and me—not you.”
Her words made me sick. I needed to get out of the hospital. I felt the walls closing in. I wasn’t going to make it much longer. I took a quick glance into Bentley’s room and saw Tanner sitting on the edge of the bed as the doctor checked Bentley’s head wound.
He needed to know the truth—about everything, but now was not the time. I needed to take a timeout to reevaluate my life and figure out if Bentley still fit into it.
Turning back to face Staci, I said, “Fine. You get your way—for now. But, this is far from over.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself to make it better, honey” she said snidely. “But, we both know the truth, Ireland. You won’t be back in Jamie’s life again.”
I turned and walked away, not even acknowledging Staci’s parting words. Even if Bentley wanted to be with Staci, I had a baby to think about now. My son or daughter needed to know their father. I owed them that much, didn’t I? Or maybe I needed to save them from the inevitable hurt of loss.
Before I’d even exited the hospital, I stopped and let myself slide down one of the bare walls to the floor. Resting my head against the concrete slab, my tears couldn’t stop. How had my life so drastically changed in less than seventy-two hours? I don’t know how long I’d been sitting on the cold, hard floor when a voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Miss? Miss, are you OK? Should I get a doctor?” a familiar-looking, older woman asked.
“No, no thank you. I just have a lot on my mind and needed a breather,” I explained, getting up from the floor and dusting off the back of my jeans. “Thank you for your concern though.”
“I don’t mean to intrude, but would you like to talk about it?
I gave the woman a weak smile before responding, “Thank you again, but I think I need to handle this one on my own.”
“OK, but if you change your mind I work in the hospital gift shop. I’m the one who sold you the pregnancy test yesterday. I don’t know your situation, or even how the test came out, but I have a feeling that something’s troubling you,” she said. “Oh dear, there I go again. Just ignore me, dear. Have a lovely afternoon.”
“You do as well,” I said, giving her a tired smile as I turned to exit the building.
Two weeks had come and gone since I’d walked through the hospital doors—leaving Bentley in Staci’s care. I learned from Katie and Greg that Bentley had been released a week earlier, and was recovering nicely, though his memories still hadn’t returned.
He’d gone back to the home he’d shared with Staci and Tanner before the divorce. From what Greg could tell, they seemed happy, but they still encouraged me to go see him. Each morning I woke up telling myself that I would visit him—tell him the truth about the baby, but each day passed—ending with my crying myself to sleep.
Katie had given me the name of her obstetrician and I’d scheduled an appointment to make sure everything was on track with my pregnancy. I’d had a lot of morning sickness, and had taken a lot of time off from work. I was starting to wonder if I was really slacking on my job responsibilities because of the early pregnancy complications, or because I didn’t want to keep updating everyone on my status with Bentley.
For as much as I tried to keep my coworkers out of my personal life, that all went out the window the day I’d taken Bentley with me to the rec center. Not only had the kids taken to him that day, but every woman—and possibly one man—in my office had as well.
Today was the big day. I was meeting with Dr. Rhoads for the first time and would hopefully learn my due date. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was toweling off my hair when the phone rang from the bedroom. Running from the bathroom, I dove onto the bed reaching for the phone.
“Hello,” I answered, without even looking at the screen.
“Hey pretty mama. Today’s the big day, right? Do you want me to go with you to your appointment?” Katie asked.
I felt a twinge of disappointment that it was Katie calling. A part of me had hoped that Bentley’s memories had suddenly returned, but as each day passed I was starting to believe that might never be the case. “Ireland, are you there?” she asked when I didn’t respond right away.
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, what were you saying?”
“You were hoping I was Bentley, weren’t you?”
I sighed before answering, “I’m such a horrible best friend. You know I love you, right. I just …”
Katie cut me off before I could even finish my sentence. “I’m only giving you a hard time, Ireland. You’re not a horrible best friend. I can’t blame you for wanting that hunk of a man instead of this ginormous pregnant lady.”
“Stop it. You’re beautiful,” I scolded.
“Yeah, I am, aren’t I?” she said with a laugh. “Seriously, though, do you want company at your appointment? I’d be happy to tag along.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine flying solo. I’m sorta used to it after all these years of singledom.”
“Shut up. You know as well as I do that I didn’t let you do anything alone—ever. And, just so you know, I’m not taking no for an answer. Besides, I have a craving for a big bowl of chicken alfredo and one of those cannoli thingies. So, we’re doing lunch at the little Italian bistro near the doctor’s office after your appointment—just so you know,” she said with a giggle.
“OK, fine. But, I’ll probably just get a ginger ale and watch you eat. I still can’t keep anything down.”
“Make sure you tell Dr. Rhoads. She gave me a tiny magic pill that took all my morning sickness away almost instantly. The only bad part, I think I gained like twenty pounds in a week because I couldn’t stop eating all the food,” she said, chewing in the background.
“You’re eating a doughnut, aren’t you? I said, trying to stifle my laughter.
“Don’t judge. You know what they say about karma,” she said. “You’ll understand in about five months. It’s like all the food just talks to you. Well, maybe except the broccoli and asparagus. That healthy shit never talks.
“You’re crazy. I need to finish getting ready. But since you’re insisting on going to this appointment with me then you can swing by and pick me up in about an hour,” I said, ending the call.
Everything checked out perfectly at my appointment. Dr. Rhoads didn’t feel as if my morning sickness was cause for alarm and prescribed some of the magic pills that Katie had mentioned. I’d taken one almost immediately after having the p
rescription filled and already felt like I could actually keep food in my stomach.
We’d arrived at Antonio’s and were seated by the door almost immediately. Katie was already drooling over the menu when I remembered the ultrasound picture I’d stuffed in my purse on the way out of the office.
“I can’t believe I actually have a picture of my baby,” I said, staring at the sonogram image. “Hello, Little Bean. Mommy already thinks you’re so beautiful.”
“Isn’t it the craziest. Wait until you’re farther along and they do the three-dimensional one. My boy seriously looks like an alien-child.”
“That’s only because he’s all scrunched up in there. He’ll be so handsome when he’s born. You’ll see.”
“I think you’re having a girl,” she said, sipping on the water the waitress had just delivered to our table.
“What makes you think that?” I said, skeptically.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m having a boy so you will definitely be having a girl. It’s destiny that they’ll get married someday.”
“So my child is still resting comfortably in my womb and you already have her married off to your alien-son?”
“You just said my son would be handsome! And, you totally said ‘her!’ You think it’s a girl, too!” she yelled, clapping her hands.
“That’s not what I meant. I was just going by your warped scenario. And, your son is an alien if he goes after my daughter!”
Just then I felt a cool breeze on my back as the door to the restaurant opened and closed.
Katie looked up and her jaw immediately fell to the ground. “Oh shit,” she said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, fearful that she was going into early labor. “Do you need me to call Greg?”
“No, no. The baby’s fine.”
“What is it then?”
“Don’t look now but Bentley just walked in with Staci and Tanner,” she explained.
I knew she told me not to look, but it’s like in a slasher movie when the killer comes on the screen—you know you shouldn’t look, but you can’t stop yourself. I slowly turned and immediately regretted my decision. They looked like such a happy family. Tanner laughing in front of them as Bentley and Staci walked in holding each other’s hands. I turned back to face Katie, suddenly not feeling well at all.
“Ireland, are you OK? You’re white as a ghost.”
“No, I think I’m going to be sick,” I said, stuffing the ultrasound photo back in my purse before running to the restroom.
I splashed some water on my face and took a few calming breaths before walking back out into the restaurant. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, I spotted Bentley at the table talking with my best friend. I momentarily scanned the room for an exit, but sighed in defeat when I realized we were seated next to the only door.
“Hi Ireland,” Bentley said hesitantly as I approached the table.
“Hi,” I said, giving him a small wave before sitting down in my chair.
“I’m surprised to run into you on this side of the city,” Bentley said, trying to make small talk.
“Do you remember where I live,” I asked, cautiously.
“No, Greg filled me in a bit.”
“Oh. Yeah, well I was just at a doctor’s appointment. Katie was craving some pasta so we stopped for lunch.”
“Oh, I hope everything’s OK.”
“Yeah, just a routine appointment. Everything’s great,” I said, eyeing Katie to make sure she wouldn’t let anything slip about the pregnancy. I wasn’t ready to deal with everything today—especially with Staci and Tanner sitting less than ten feet away from us.
Just then our waitress walked over with Katie’s plate of pasta. “Aren’t you eating?” Bentley questioned.
“She’s not feeling well,” Katie blurted out.
“I thought you just said you were feeling fine,” Bentley questioned, furrowing his brow.
“I am. She just meant I’m full. I ate a big breakfast,” I said, trying to cover her blunder.
“Oh OK,” he said, skeptically.
“How are you doing?” I asked, quickly changing the topic away from me.
“Pretty good. My doctor should be clearing me to go back to work next week. I finally have limited use of my hand,” he explained, waving his fingers. “It’ll probably take some time for Greg to catch me up on all the accounts, but I need to get back to the grind. Staying cooped up inside all the time is torture.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
“How’s work? Greg told me that you’re a counselor?”
Bentley really didn’t remember anything about me. I swallowed back the lump in my throat before answering, “Um, yeah. I work mainly with orphans,” I said, as Staci walked over to us, slinking her arms around Bentley.
“Jamie, baby, our table is ready,” she cooed in his ear, not even paying any attention to me.
“Ok, baby, I’ll be right there.”
“Tanner is getting hungry. We probably shouldn’t keep him waiting.”
“Yeah, OK,” he said. “Wait, you’d think I’d forgotten my manners in the accident too. Ireland this is Staci and Tanner, my wife and son. This is Ireland. She’s an old family friend.”
“We’ve met,” Staci said, dangling her hand in front of my face. I couldn’t help but notice the huge diamond that was once again secured on her ring finger. Tanner gave me a small wave from behind his mother.
“Right, I should’ve known,” he said, shaking his head.
“It’s OK,” I said weakly.
“All right, well we’ll let you two enjoy the rest of your lunch. Ireland, we should catch up sometime. Maybe grab a coffee?”
“Coffee?” I muttered, lowering my head so he couldn’t see the fresh tears that were forming in my eyes. Flashes of our first date playing in my mind. Parallel parking, Bentley’s corny pickup lines, ruby slippers …
“I’m sorry. Was it something I said?” Bentley said, gently placing his hand on the back of my shoulder.
“No.” It was all I was able to squeak out before Staci interjected once again.
“Jamie. We’re making this poor hostess wait for us,” she whined.
“OK, I’m coming,” he told her, before turning to face me once again. “Seriously, Ireland. Call me sometime. I’d love to catch up,” he said, pulling a business card from his wallet and handing it to me.
“OK,” I said, fingering the card as he turned to walk away.
Just as we were paying our bill, Staci returned to our table.
“Oh hey, look it’s the bitch,” Katie said. “We don’t want to hear what you have to say, Staci, so you can just turn and walk away.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to make small talk with either of you either,” she sneered. “I just came to give Ireland a little warning. You better rip up that business card—or else.”
“Or else what, Staci?” Katie chuckled.
“Just don’t call him. He’s happy. We’re happy. Just leave it be,” she said, swiveling back around.
“I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I think Staci is right. He’s happy. I need to let it go,” I said, standing up from the chair.
“You have to tell him about the baby, Ireland,” Katie whisper-yelled across the table.
“Shhh. Keep your voice down,” I said, ripping up the business card and throwing it on the table.
“I might take you a little more seriously, if I didn’t know his digits were permanently stored in your mind.”
Rolling my eyes at her, I said, “Can we just leave, please. I need to go home and take a nap. I’m so tired.”
“No, you’re not getting out of this so easily. I’m serious, Ireland. Bentley needs to know the truth! You know he’s going to be devastated when he finds out!”
“Please, just drop it, Katie. I don’t want Bentley to come back to me just because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. Staci tricked him into marrying her and that’s the last thing I want. I want Bentley to be with me b
ecause he loves me and remembers what we share. Not because he feels forced into it.”
“I get it. I really do,” Katie said, sympathetically. “But, the man deserves to know he’s going to be a dad again. He should be able to experience this with you.”
“Just let me do this my way!”
Biting her lip, she responded, “I told Greg.”
“You did what? Why would you betray me like that, Katie? I trusted you!”
“He’s my husband, Ireland. We don’t keep secrets from each other. He knew something was bothering me, and I couldn’t keep lying to him. You’ll understand some day.”
She was right. I couldn’t hold this against her. I couldn’t make her choose between her husband and me. “I’m sorry for getting upset. It’s not fair for me to be mad at you.”
“Thank you,” she said with a slight smile.
“Is he going to tell Bentley?”
“He feels the same way I do. But he’ll wait for you to tell him. Neither one of us are going to wait forever though, Ireland. If you don’t tell him soon then we eventually will.”
“I’ll tell him.”
“When? You know he’s still sitting right over there?”
“Not today. I’ll do it soon. Now I’m done with this lecture. I’m exhausted and would like to go home—please.”
“Fine, I remember how exhausting the first trimester was. Now I just crave sex—like all the time,” she said, rubbing her belly.
“Oh my god,” I laughed. “Just take me home.”
“What? It’s true,” she shrugged.
Bentley
Tanner and I had just picked up a steaming pepperoni pizza from Vince’s and were heading back to my place for a weekend of male bonding—also known as a weekend filled with playing as many video games as humanly possible.
“Dad, what’s this?” Tanner asked, reaching between the SUV’s seat to pull out a platnium chain with an attached pendant. The chain was knotted several times as if it’d been crushed between the cushions for several weeks. Tanner hesitated before opening the tiny heart locket.
“There are two pictures of you and Ireland inside,” he told me, sadness in his voice.
I wasn’t sure why but with just the mention of her name, I felt my heart skip a beat. I hadn’t seen her, or talked to her in weeks. Not since that day she’d left me with my wife and son in the restaurant.