Amanda frowned under his direct gaze. “No, of course not. At least not the way you mean. I do think his disrespect and outright meanness drove Bobby to do some of the things he did.”
“Maybe you’re right, but ultimately we all make our own decisions, Amanda. Bobby could have made smarter choices, especially when it came to your finances.”
She bristled at the criticism. “Don’t you dare criticize Bobby,” she said heatedly. “He spent our entire marriage trying to make up for everything he thought I’d sacrificed to be with him.”
“Don’t you blame him sometimes?” Caleb asked gently.
“No,” she said. “I blame my father.”
“Have you ever told him that? Have you ever just gone out to Willow Bend and tried to clear the air?”
“You know I saw him,” she said defensively.
“Yes, but because you were hoping for his help, I imagine you were very careful not to say everything that you were really feeling,” Caleb suggested. “Not even after he turned you down.”
Amanda thought back to that humiliating confrontation. Caleb was right. She’d held her tongue because she’d felt she had to. She’d been too desperate to risk a shouting match. In the end, her discretion had been wasted. He’d still shown her the door.
“See him, Amanda. Get it all off your chest. Put this behind you once and for all, not just for his sake, but for yours,” he urged. “Even if nothing changes, you’ll feel a thousand times better for having made the effort.”
“No,” she said flatly.
“Not even a second’s thought?” he chided. “Just no?”
“Just no,” she repeated, avoiding his eyes. She knew what she’d see there. Disappointment.
“I thought you were a better person than that,” he said.
“And I thought you would never betray me,” she said just as quietly. “I guess we were both wrong.”
Big Max stood in the middle of the kitchen trying to remember what he’d walked in there for. He’d probably done the same thing a hundred times before, but now an incident like this had the power to terrify him. Was his mind slipping faster than they’d warned him it would? Should he be making arrangements for the time when he wouldn’t know anyone or how to do even the simplest tasks?
He sank onto a kitchen chair and stared out the back window. There had been a time when the view of his land with its ancient oak trees and trailing Spanish moss would have soothed him. Now he couldn’t help wondering how soon it would all seem totally strange and unfamiliar.
“What are you doing sitting in here all by yourself?” his housekeeper asked when she found him at the table a half-hour later, still staring into space. “You come in here to get some lunch?”
He shrugged. “Is it lunchtime? I’ve lost track.”
Jessie Heflin regarded him with dismay. She had been his housekeeper for nearly thirty-five years. She’d come when Margaret had been pregnant with Amanda, then stayed after his wife was gone to help him with the new baby and just about everything else. He’d confided in her about the Alzheimer’s, but he was beginning to regret that. She worried too blasted much. Her hovering was getting on his nerves.
“Should I call Doc Mullins?” she asked now.
“For what? So you can tell him I’m sitting at my own kitchen table thinking things over?”
“Maybe I should tell him that you’re refusing to take that medicine he gave you,” she countered. “How would that be?”
“I’m taking it,” he muttered defensively. “Though I can’t see that it’s making a bit of difference.”
“Maybe it’s not the kind of difference you can recognize,” she suggested reasonably. “Maybe things would be worse by now without it. You don’t know.” She patted his hand. “It’s already one o’clock, Max. I’m going to fix you a nice chicken salad sandwich for lunch. You want sliced tomato on it?”
“Is the tomato any good? There’s nothing worse than a mealy tomato.”
“And when have you ever known me to give you one?” she retorted. “This one came from my garden. There are still quite a few left on the vine. As long as we don’t have a freeze soon, I think they’ll ripen.”
She made his sandwich and set it in front of him, then set another one on the table.
“You eating with me?” he inquired, surprised. Jessie had never taken what she described as liberties, no matter how many times he or Amanda had invited her to join them for a meal.
Before she could answer, the doorbell rang.
“That would be Reverend Webb,” she said. “The sandwich is for him.”
“Did I know he was coming by today?” Max asked worriedly.
“No, but I did. He called while you were outside taking your walk. I told him lunchtime would be a good time.”
He frowned at her. “Who put you in charge of my social calendar?” he grumbled.
“No one,” she said. “I just saw a need and stepped in, the same way I’ve been doing for more than thirty years. Now, hush up and I’ll go let the man in.”
“I’m surprised he doesn’t just walk in,” Max said. “Nobody seems to stand on ceremony anymore.”
“They do with you,” Jessie said. “Leastways, the ones who’re scared of you do.”
Max’s spirits perked up. “You think Caleb’s scared of me?”
“Don’t you do your best to see that he is?”
“Indeed, I do.” Max grinned, even though he suspected they both knew that Caleb didn’t fear him in the slightest. “I can’t have everyone thinking I’ve gone soft.”
While he waited for Caleb, he sipped his tea and wondered what the devil had brought the man over here today. Probably another one of those lectures on telling Amanda the truth about his health. Caleb had had a one-track mind ever since the diagnosis. That was getting tiresome, as well.
Jessie ushered Caleb into the kitchen. “I put a sandwich on the table for you,” she told him. “I’ll be back in a while to give you both some pie. Made a blueberry one this morning.”
“My favorite,” Caleb exclaimed. “Thank you, Jessie.”
She gave him a considering look. “I thought your favorite was my apple pie.”
“Everything you bake is a masterpiece,” he said quickly. “How could I possibly choose just one?”
“Nice save,” Max complimented him as Jessie rolled her eyes and left them alone.
“It pays not to offend anyone who cooks like Jessie,” Caleb said.
“So, did you come over here just for free food? Thought the church was paying you a decent living.”
“That depends on your definition of decent,” Caleb said. “By your standards, I’m probably at the poverty level. By mine, I do just fine. And I had some soup for lunch before I came, but since Jessie went to the trouble of making that sandwich, I’m not about to turn it down. I won’t turn the pie down, either.”
“Eating soup at your desk is a bad habit,” Max scolded. “You need to get out.”
“I’m out now,” Caleb responded. “Besides, I didn’t eat at my desk. Nor did I eat alone. I had lunch with Amanda before I came out here.”
Max felt the old, familiar ache deep inside. “Oh? How did that happen?”
“I was trying to make peace. She’s furious with me at the moment.”
“Why’s that?”
“She found out you and I have been spending time together.”
Max’s heart plummeted. “I imagine that means you won’t be coming back here anymore,” he said with real regret. His visits with Caleb were the one thing he had to look forward to lately. Even George’s visits had tapered off now that he was chasing after that new woman, Nadine something-or-other.
“Why would I quit coming to see you?” Caleb demanded. “I just wanted you to know that she’s aware of our friendship.”
“You haven’t told her about what’s going on with me, have you?” Max dreaded the answer.
“I promised I wouldn’t,” Caleb reminded him. “You know you can tru
st my word.”
“Always thought so,” Max agreed. “But something tells me you’d break it in a minute if you thought it was for my own good.”
“Could be,” Caleb admitted. “We’re not there yet.” He regarded Max and said casually, “You could keep me from going back on it by telling her yourself.”
“That’ll never happen,” Max said forcefully, then deliberately changed the subject. “Now then, how about a game of poker before you head back to town? Or do you have some souls you need to save this afternoon?”
“All the souls I’m worried about can wait for a couple of hours,” Caleb said. “Besides, you don’t think I’d leave before I have some of Jessie’s blueberry pie, do you?”
Max shook his head. “I swear, I’m beginning to think that woman’s food is the only thing that brings you out here.”
“You’re wrong,” Caleb said. “I come for the chance to win more of your money.”
“You won’t live long enough to see me in the poorhouse,” Max retorted, then frowned. “If I’m lucky, neither will I.”
“Max!”
“What? It’s the truth. You think I want to be wandering around in some kind of daze, not recognizing anything or anyone?”
Caleb didn’t look away from him, as Max suspected another man might. It was one of the things he respected about him. The reverend never shied away from the tough stuff.
“No,” Caleb responded quietly. “I think that would be just about the last thing any man would want, but we will get through this, Max. We’ll walk this road together.”
“That’s a bunch of hogwash and you know it,” Max snapped. “I’ll be the one on the road. You’ll be standing on the sidelines with all your faculties about you.”
Caleb’s expression did waver then, but he didn’t look away. Nor did he try to deny what Max had said. Instead, he said with what sounded like real pain, “And maybe that’ll be the hardest place to be.”
Max blinked away a sudden dampness in his eyes. “Damn, boy, don’t say things like that. You’ll have us both bawling.”
Caleb didn’t respond for an instant, but when he did there was a twinkle back in his eyes. “Maybe that’s my plan. If your eyes are all watery, you won’t be able to see the cards.”
“If you’re going to beat me today, you’ll need a better scheme than that,” Max said. “I’m feeling lucky.”
And oddly enough, he was. He’d rather have one man as good as Caleb as a friend than the dozens who’d been in his life just because of his wealth and power. Too bad it had taken him so many years to value friendship over all the rest.
Amanda wished there were someone besides Caleb she could talk to about this feud with her father. Or someone with whom she could discuss Caleb, for that matter. Her emotions were all twisted into knots. Ironically, the first person she would have gone to with this sort of troubling confusion in the past would have been Caleb himself, but that clearly was impossible now, not with him at the core of her dilemma.
She was sitting in her backyard, sipping a glass of tea and enjoying the peace and quiet after getting the kids to bed, when she heard someone coming around the side of the house. Actually two people, she realized when she heard one person’s muffled oath and the other’s warning to watch where they were walking.
“There you are,” Nadine called out cheerfully as she and Maggie rounded the corner. “We knocked on the front door, but I guess you couldn’t hear us out here.”
Amanda felt as if Nadine, at least, were the answer to her prayers. Josh’s mother had befriended her during the building of the house, and for the first time in her life Amanda had felt as if she actually had someone in her corner, the way her mother might have been if she’d lived. Maggie was another story, but they’d resolved to be friends and her appearance here tonight with her mother-in-law suggested she’d meant it.
“What brings you two by?” she asked. “Can I get you something? There’s iced tea made and I think I have some sodas in the refrigerator.”
“Tea would be great,” Maggie said.
“For me, too,” Nadine agreed. “But sit there. I can get it. I know where everything is.”
After being on her feet all day at the boutique, Amanda didn’t argue. “If you don’t find what you need, just poke around till you see it.”
“Will do,” Nadine said, walking into the house.
Maggie sat gingerly on the edge of the chair next to Amanda. “I hope you don’t mind us just dropping in like this.”
“Of course not,” Amanda said. “In fact, I was just longing for some company. I’ve missed the dinners we used to have together while this place was being built.”
“Me, too, to be honest,” Maggie said. “Especially now that Josh is over in Atlanta so much during the week. I had no idea I’d feel so lost without him.”
Just then Dinah Beaufort turned the corner of the house. “I figured I’d find you all out here,” she said. “Who knows how many more nights we’ll have like this before cold weather starts in earnest?”
At Dinah’s unexpected arrival, Amanda looked from one woman to the other, her suspicions suddenly on high alert. “It’s not an accident that you three all picked tonight to drop by, is it?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Dinah said, her expression innocent.
“Don’t even try,” Maggie chided her best friend. “She’s obviously on to us.”
“Caleb sent you,” Amanda guessed.
“In a way,” Maggie admitted. “Nadine and I saw what happened between the two of you on Thanksgiving. None of us overheard what you argued about, but we know you were angry.”
“And then Nadine heard that you and Caleb almost had another fight in the boutique today,” Dinah added. “So, we’re here to listen if there’s anything you need to talk about. We all thought the two of you were getting close, so if he did something to upset you, we wanted you to know we’re in your corner.”
Amanda’s eyes stung with tears. “Just like that, you’re on my side?”
Nadine exited the house with a tray with three more glasses, a pitcher of iced tea and some sort of snacks she’d managed to put together from the meager contents of Amanda’s refrigerator and cupboards.
“Well, of course we’re on your side,” Nadine said as she set the tray on a table. “Men are impossible, even my son.” She grinned at Maggie, who nodded. “We women have to stick together.”
“Of course, some of us thought Caleb would be better than most,” Dinah added. “Him being a minister and all.”
“He has testosterone, doesn’t he?” Nadine said dryly. “Bad behavior comes with the territory. I doubt even seminary can train it out of them.”
“Caleb is a good guy,” Amanda felt compelled to say. “It’s just that he’s being pigheaded on this one particular subject.”
“Which is?” Dinah prodded. “If you want to tell us, that is.”
Amanda did want to get it off her chest. She needed another perspective and three would be even better, especially when these women were all openly on her side. Even so, she knew they would try for a certain amount of objectivity. Dinah, as a journalist, certainly ought to be able to achieve that.
“You know about the rift between me and my father,” she began.
All three of them nodded. It had been a hot topic during the building of this house.
“Well, I found out on Thanksgiving that Caleb and my father have become friends,” she explained. “He’s out there visiting all the time. That’s his business, of course, but now he’s pressuring me to make peace with Big Max, as if I’ve been the one in the wrong all these years.” She looked from one woman to the next. “What do you think? Am I right to feel hurt and betrayed? Or is Caleb right that I’m acting like some sort of spoiled brat by not forgetting about everything my father did to me?”
“Oh, boy,” Dinah murmured.
“What?” Amanda demanded.
“I can see both sides,” Maggie admitted.
“M
e, too,” Nadine said. “Goodness knows, Josh and I had our issues when I got back to town. It would have been easier for both of us if he’d just given me some cash and sent me on my way, like I asked him to, but I’m thankful every day that he didn’t. By keeping me right here, we were both forced to face the past and deal with it.”
“I had plenty of issues with my mother, too,” Maggie said.
“So did I,” Dinah admitted. “I’m not saying they were the same as yours, Amanda, but I’m so glad now that we worked through them and didn’t let them turn into such a big deal that we couldn’t share the excitement of me getting married or being pregnant. You only have so many years with your parents.”
“Right,” Maggie agreed. “How would you feel if you never settled this and suddenly Big Max was gone? Wouldn’t you always regret that?”
“I suppose,” Amanda conceded reluctantly. She’d never let herself think about a time when the chance to make amends would be gone forever. Even when Caleb had tried to make her face that possibility, she’d resisted. “So, you’re all saying Caleb is right?”
They each nodded.
“But not that you’re entirely wrong, either,” Maggie said at once.
Dinah nudged her in the ribs. “You’re waffling,” she accused.
“I’m being fair,” Maggie argued.
“Okay, here’s what you need to think about,” Nadine said, leaning forward to clasp Amanda’s hands in hers. “Just like Maggie said, how are you going to feel if this man you once loved—at least I assume you did—dies and you never once got to tell him again that you loved him?”
Amanda thought of all the years her father had been the only constant in her life, all the years he’d doted on her and she’d adored him. He could have turned her over to Jessie and let the housekeeper raise her, but he hadn’t. Those years still meant something, despite everything that had happened since then.
“You’ve given me a lot to consider,” she said, squeezing Nadine’s hands. “Thank you so much for coming by tonight.”
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