“Sorry,” Russ said to Tanzy. “I just wanted to thank you, but things sorta got out of hand.”
“For a man who doesn’t want to get married, you sure have a dangerous way of saying thanks.”
“I never thanked anybody like that before.”
“I’m sure your cowhands are grateful.”
“Dammit, Russ, where are you? Why can’t I sleep in the bunkhouse?”
“We’re over here by the fence,” Russ called out. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. The boys will never forgive me if I drive you away the very first night.”
“That was unexpected, but it’s a very nice way of saying thank you. Maybe you ought to try it more often.”
“You saying you wouldn’t get mad if I did it again?”
“I’m saying it might make a few ladies think differently about you.”
“More likely it would get me shot.”
“Welt says I have to sleep in the house to protect Tanzy,” Tardy said, coming close. “What are you standing out here for? It’s dark.”
“Somebody needs to protect my reputation,” Tanzy said, “and you’re the only one who can do that.”
“Is that true?” Tardy asked.
“Nobody in town would believe Tanzy was innocent if any one of us slept in the ranch house.”
“No, but—”
“You said you were coming to protect her reputation,” Russ said. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to do what you promised.”
“Why wouldn’t they doubt her reputation if I slept in the ranch house?” Tardy demanded. “I’m a man.”
Russ remembered all too clearly feeling much the same way. “Because they trust you, people will believe you if you say Tanzy’s virtue is safe.”
“Is that true?” Tardy asked Tanzy.
“Your aunt would never have asked you to look after me if she hadn’t trusted you.”
It was apparent Tardy had previously looked on that task as a chore rather than an honor, but he appeared willing to reconsider. “Okay, but as soon as she leaves, I’m moving into the bunkhouse.”
“Agreed. Now we’d all better go to bed. We get started early in the morning.”
It was much later before Russ felt any desire to sleep. The kiss in the schoolhouse had been impulsive, something he hadn’t anticipated and therefore wasn’t prepared for. He didn’t have a similar excuse this time. He knew how dangerous kissing Tanzy could be and he’d done it anyway. He could tell himself it was in appreciation for her believing in him, but that wasn’t the whole truth. He wanted to kiss her, had been thinking about it nearly the whole time since he’d decided to bring her to the ranch. He hadn’t been consciously planning to kiss her, but ever since Tanzy arrived, he’d wanted to do all kinds of unexpected things.
Why the hell had Welt written those letters? If it would do any good, he’d break his head all over again. Only Tanzy would still be there, believing that he was good, that he was kind, that he was thoughtful. Now, God help him, he wanted to be all those things. Maybe he ought to watch the pass for the next few days. He needed time to think, and helping Tardy turn into enough of a cowhand so he didn’t kill himself was hardly going to leave him extra time to pee.
Tanzy undressed slowly, mechanically, her mind elsewhere. Russ’s kiss worried her. It upset her that a man as strong, determined, and successful as Russ would be so grateful that someone could believe in him. Something truly awful must have happened to make him so thankful for a little bit of praise. She wasn’t saying he was a hero or anything. Yet he’d kissed her like a man desperately eager to find a reason to believe in himself.
Then there was the kiss itself. Never mind his reasons for it; what about her reasons for letting him kiss her, for kissing him back? Was she just grateful he’d rescued her from an uncertain future, or was it more than that?
She’d already admitted she was attracted to him, but now she liked him. She empathized with him. She also admired him and was grateful to him. With all those feelings mixed up together, it was hard to separate out the pieces and decipher just what each meant.
Still, it wasn’t the common practice to go around kissing people you admired, at least not like Russ had kissed her. And even if western men did do that, she shouldn’t have been so willing to melt into his embrace. She couldn’t deny that was exactly what had happened. If the kiss had lasted much longer, she might have dissolved entirely. She wasn’t sure whether she was grateful or angry about Tardy’s interruption.
That in itself was another sign that something was wrong. She always knew her own mind, never had any problem articulating how she felt, never vacillated or changed.
Things were different out here. Maybe a person had to be ready to change her mind, look at things in a different way. But flexibility could be dangerous, too. A person who swapped her principles every few weeks would soon have no principles at all. Maybe she needed to learn to interpret her principles a little differently, apply them with more latitude, not break anything but bend a little.
She wasn’t going to decide anything tonight. She was too tired. Too much had happened. She understood too little. She needed to sleep, to clear her mind. Tomorrow she’d figure out what to do.
“That was a mighty fine breakfast, ma’am,” Tim said. “I want you to know if it ever comes to a vote, I’ll vote we send Welt off and keep you.”
“You’re not fooling anybody,” Oren said. “You’d vote to keep her if she bumed the biscuits.”
“Not if she burned the biscuits,” Tim said, reaching for another before he finished the one on his plate in case someone else got it first. “A man’s got to draw the line somewhere.”
“I’m sure she’s drawn the line at listening to the foolery of a stripling,” Welt said.
“I’m young, but I’m pretty,” Tim said.
“Not as pretty as your horse,” Oren said.
“Ma’am, I ask you if it’s right to be so cruel to a man before he’s finished his breakfast.”
“The only way to make you finish your breakfast is to take your plate from you,” Welt said.
“I’m going to ask her to marry me and make me biscuits for every meal.”
“Miss Gallant wouldn’t marry any cowhand,” Tardy said. “She knows enough to be a schoolteacher.”
“I know enough not to insult a man who puts in an honest day’s work,” Tanzy said. “You ought to apologize to Tim.”
“But he was making fun of you,” Tardy protested.
“He was just joking,” Russ said. “No one at this table would ever think of making fun of Tanzy.”
“Sorry,” Tardy said.
“Don’t worry,” Tim said. “I’ll never fault a man for defending the honor of a lady.”
“Whew!” Orem said, getting to his feet. “I’d better relieve Buck before things get too rich for my blood.”
“You don’t have any blood,” Tim said. “It was drained out of you at birth.”
There was a good deal more ribbing before the men finished breakfast and headed to the corral to saddle their horses for the day.
“Why don’t I have a job?”
“You don’t know the ranch yet,” Russ explained. “You need a few days to get familiar with things before I let you go off on your own.”
“How can I get lost in a valley?”
“Come on. I’ll show you.”
“What time do you want supper?” Tanzy asked.
“We’ll be back about dusk. We’ll have supper whenever you get it ready.”
“It’ll be ready half an hour after you get back.”
Tanzy could hardly keep from grinning at the way Tardy danced around Russ like a frisky puppy.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if Russ strangles that kid before noon,” Welt said.
“I expect he’s a lot like Tim.”
“I hope not. Some of the things Tim has done would turn your hair gray.”
“Then why did Russ bring him here?”
“I can’t tell you. You’ll have to fig
ure that out for yourself.”
“It looks like there are a lot of things people expect me to figure out for myself.”
“Like what?”
“Why you’re staying at the house instead of Russ.”
“Russ always leaves somebody here. He can’t watch the house and work with Tardy. There’s only one road into the valley to bring in cows and supplies, but there’s dozens of ways over the ridges. Somebody’s got to guard the house and the livestock.”
“So he doesn’t believe I’m going to run away once his back is turned?”
“Would you?”
“I’m not sure. You see, I’ve heard a lot about Russ from everybody I’ve met, but not much about Russ from himself. He said you have been his best friend his whole life, so you’ll know why he’s like he is. We’ve got the whole day together, so by the time they get home for supper, I want to know everything you can tell me about Russ Tibbolt. Most importantly, I want to know why you wrote those letters.”
Chapter Sixteen
As soon as Russ and Tardy rode out, Tanzy picked up the coffeepot and two cups and went in search of Welt. She found him at the corrals that had been constructed in a grove of lodgepole and ponderosa pine. Spikes of purple lupine and the lacy white flowers of Solomon’s Seal sprang from the forest floor in scattered clumps. Beyond the pines, clumps of white mountain phlox and pink-and-white pussytoes grew in the marshy ground alongside the stream. It seemed nearly impossible that sadness could exist in such an idyllic setting. She poured coffee and handed a cup to Welt. “Start talking and don’t leave anything out.”
“Russ’s mother’s first husband, his sister’s father, died shortly after his sister was born,” Welt told Tanzy after he took a sip of his coffee. He leaned against the corral, one foot resting on a pole. Tanzy settled on the trunk of a fallen pine. “His mother took up with a handsome miner who said he’d marry her. Instead, he went back east after he made his big strike, leaving her pregnant with Russ.”
“Did the man know she was pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t he want to know about his own child?”
“I guess not. Russ doesn’t have any idea where he came from or where he went. His mother married Bob Tibbolt to give Russ a name.”
“That doesn’t seem like such a dark past,” Tanzy said.
“Bob Tibbolt adored his wife and daughter, but he didn’t like Russ because he wouldn’t knuckle under. Russ grew up knowing he was unwanted by the man who fathered him, an embarrassment to his mother, disliked by his stepfather.”
“That must have been hard.”
“Things got worse. Bob Tibbolt loved his wife, but June was a beautiful woman who wanted beautiful things. When she met Stocker Pullet, she found a way to have them.”
Tanzy had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Stocker was just as attracted to June, and she became his mistress. People out here don’t have much room for gray when it comes to women. Either you’re good or you’re bad.”
“I discovered that for myself,” Tanzy said.
“Russ loved his mother despite what she was doing. If I was to tell you about the number of fights he got into because of what people said about her, we’d be here all day. I don’t know what happened, whether June got too greedy or Stocker just got tired of her, but he threw her out. June was so overwrought, she killed herself. To make things worse, Bob Tibbolt killed himself, too. In a needless bit of cruelty, he left a note disclosing that Russ was a bastard.”
“What could make a man do such a cruel thing to a boy?” Tanzy asked.
“I don’t know. He was distraught over his wife’s death.”
“What did Russ do?”
“What any grieving, humiliated, and desperate teenager would do. He rode to Stocker’s ranch and confronted him. Stocker laughed at him, told him his mother was nothing but a common whore, and had his men throw him off the place.”
“My God! How could he do something so cruel?”
“Stocker has always been so rich he could do anything he pleased.”
“What did Russ do then?”
“There wasn’t much he could do. People around here had never liked him, so after the episode at Stocker’s ranch, they turned their backs on him. He couldn’t get any work, so he went to Texas.”
Now Tanzy understood a lot better why Russ didn’t respect women, why he didn’t want to get married, why he hated Stocker. She’d never forget the pain of losing her brothers and father, but it must have been worse for Russ to lose his mother in such humiliating circumstances.
“That doesn’t explain why you wrote those letters,” she said to Welt.
“There’s more,” Welt said. “And I have to take the blame for some of it.”
He had looked somber before, but now his expression turned bleak.
“I had been in love with Russ’s sister from the time I realized girls were different from boys. My father had a decent business, so I was probably the most eligible bachelor in town. I had big plans for getting married as soon as I was eighteen. Then Toley Pullet turned up.”
“You mean he didn’t live here already?”
“No. After her husband died, Stocker’s stepmother moved away and married again. Toley only came back when his mother died. He was a handsome young man, full of laughter and a love of good times with money to spend. He and Adele took a liking to each other from the start. When he left, she went with him. I was such a lovesick fool, I wrote Russ, telling him his sister had gone off with Stocker’s brother. The letter was nearly a year finding him. I wish it never had. By the time he got it, Toley had left Adele. Apparently she was so drunk one winter night she couldn’t find her way back home. She died from exposure.”
Tanzy would never have thought she’d say anything good about a feud. But at least it hadn’t left her feeling rejected by the people who should have loved her.
“Russ got home about the time Toley was paying his brother a visit. I didn’t want to tell him about Adele’s death because I knew he’d do something stupid, but people in town just had to point out that Adele was no better than her mama. Russ had grown a lot bigger and stronger during his two years in Texas. When I tried to stop him going after Toley, he knocked me down.”
“So that’s why he shot Toley,” Tanzy said.
“I rode with him, using every argument I could think of to change his mind, but he was kinda crazy that day. I think he felt like he had nothing else to lose, that his life didn’t mean much anymore. He called Toley out and challenged him to a fistfight. He wanted the satisfaction of beating the man senseless, but Toley fancied himself a gun slick. He told Russ he wouldn’t dirty his hands with him, that if he wanted to avenge the honor of his whoring sister, he’d have to use a gun.”
“He said that?”
“I was afraid he’d make Russ so mad he’d draw first. Then no matter what happened, one of Stocker’s men would kill him. But it was a fair fight. Both of them drew at the same time. Toley missed. Russ didn’t. They might have killed him anyway if I hadn’t pulled a gun on Stocker. I told them I’d kill him right there if they didn’t take Russ to the sheriff. I was sure he’d be safe. I could testify it was a fair fight.
“I was a fool. Stocker’s men all swore Russ pulled a gun on Toley and killed him before he could get his gun out of his holster. I testified to what happened at the trial, but Stocker had threatened or paid off the jury—I don’t know which—so they said Russ was guilty. I think the judge gave him only five years because he knew they were lying, but there was nothing he could do about it.”
Tanzy had been used to thinking that nobody had a more tragic life than she, but it was a miracle Russ wasn’t a misogynist who hated the world. That he could turn his life around, devote his energies to building his ranch and helping his friends rebuild their lives spoke of a depth of character she’d underestimated.
“Why did you write me?” she asked Welt. “I can’t imagine a man less likely to want to
marry than Russ.”
“I knew Russ had always wanted a family. He suffered so much because he loved his mother and sister. He’d probably have loved Bob Tibbolt if the bastard had given him half a chance. People said he was a troublemaker, always looking for a fight, that he had an uncontrollable temper, that he was vicious. What they didn’t see was that the things they said about his family were like knife thrusts. Russ was just defending his family’s honor.”
“Did he tell you that he wanted to get married?”
“He said he didn ‘t want to get married, but I knew it wasn’t true. I expect a couple of local girls would have braved their families’ disapproval to marry Russ, but he could only see that everybody hated him. I figured he might not be prejudiced against a woman from back east. I hoped once she was here, he’d give himself a chance to get to know her before he made up his mind.”
“It was a big gamble.”
“Russ is the best friend I’ve ever had, and I was responsible for ruining his life. I wrote to more than a dozen women before I settled on you.”
“You didn’t settle on me. You settled on what my friend said about me.”
“That’s what Russ told me, but you’re exactly what she said you were.”
“Only she didn’t tell you that I hate feuds and refuse to marry a man who won’t respect me.”
“Russ isn’t feuding, and he does respect you.”
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want to marry me. He’s said so.”
“Russ doesn’t know what he wants because he wouldn’t let himself ask those questions. His whole life was a series of losing battles until he and those guys he met in prison came back here and started a ranch.”
“I can tell you’re about to ask me to do something, but don’t ask me to marry Russ. I’ve already told you why I can’t.”
“He respects and likes you. Since he doesn’t want to marry you, you’re perfect for the job.”
“What job?”
“Make Russ believe in women again so he’ll marry and have the family he has to have if he’s ever to be happy.”
“What makes you think I can do that?”
“Russ asked you to teach him to read. That’s the first time he’s ever trusted a woman enough to ask anything of her. I don’t know what you did to break through that wall he built around himself, but help me demolish the rest of it.”
The Reluctant Bride Page 18