This isn’t something that can be settled by talking, not when you and Stocker are determined to destroy each other.”
“I don’t want to destroy Stocker. I just want to be left alone, but I won’t let him drive me out again.” He kissed her hard. “I’ll be back, I promise. I’m not going to die. I’m never going to leave you.”
He quickly mounted up, and the four men rode out.
Tanzy stood watching, feeling her chances for happiness disappearing with the men as they rode out of sight. She turned and went into the house. She had a lot of thinking to do.
“Are they gone?” Tardy asked when she entered the cabin. He was standing at the window. He must have heard their conversation.
They just rode out.”
“Russ should have let me go. I’m not useless.”
“Even if he did, I wouldn’t have. You’re too young.”
“I thought you were my friend,” Tardy said as he turned away from the window. “I’m not a baby.”
“I know you’re not, but—”
“You’re all just as bad as Aunt Ethel. You treat me like I was six years old. I can ride and shoot. What more do I need to help burn a few buildings?”
“You need to learn that burning buildings doesn’t solve anything. It just makes things worse.”
“He has to do something.”
There are other options.”
“He’s got to do the same thing back. That way Stocker knows things are even and Russ won’t back down.”
It was exactly as Tanzy feared. Russ could call this battle anything he wanted, but it was still a feud.
“You can probably watch better from outside,” she said to Tardy. “At least then you won’t drive me crazy with your pacing.”
“I’m not pacing.”
“You will be soon. Go find some chores that need doing. The time will pass a lot faster if you’re busy.”
Tardy stomped out, but at that moment his disappointment was the least of her concerns. She had to make some decisions about her future, and she had to do it before Russ returned.
She was frustrated and hurt at what had happened to her. She’d worked hard to please everyone, yet everything she wanted had been taken from her. She was without a home, a family, friends, a lover, a future.
And she felt Stocker Pullet was at the root of her problems.
She’d spent hours and hours castigating herself for being so rigid, so fearful of what could happen. She’d told herself she couldn’t let the past dictate her future. She’d spent even more hours cursing Russ’s stubbornness and his inability to see what he was doing to himself. All this time she’d forgotten the true source of her unhappiness. She ought to be mad at Stocker, not Russ. He was the one who threatened to ruin her happiness.
Damn him. What right did he have to go around ruining people’s lives with impunity? She was sure he had been grief-stricken at the death of his brother, but that was no excuse to send an innocent man to prison. Then there was Stocker’s treatment of Russ’s mother, making her his mistress, then publicly humiliating her when he tired of her. Stocker had been running roughshod over people for years. It was time somebody put a stop to it.
What about this business with the rustlers? Tanzy would have been the first to admit she didn’t know much about rustling, but there was something suspicious about the way Stocker was acting. He was loud in his insistence that Russ was responsible for the rustling and that the ranchers ought to drive him out, but he thwarted every suggestion Russ put forth to prove his innocence. Consequently, Russ was still under suspicion.
Logic said if Stocker persisted in making accusations but continued to block all efforts to prove them, he was doing so because the accusations were false. There was no doubt rustling was going on. All the ranchers complained of it, even Stocker, but apparently it wasn’t enough to get the ranchers so upset that they ignored Stocker and took things into their own hands. None of this made sense to Tanzy unless it was all a plan to drive Russ out. And if that was the case, Stocker was behind it.
Tanzy’s thoughts hardened into a resolution. She knew what she wanted, but she wasn’t going to get it without a struggle. It was time she stopped waiting for things to happen. She had to take a hand in molding her future. Russ Tibbolt was a fighter. He deserved a wife who was a fighter, not someone who sat back, folded her hands, and said I won’t when things didn’t go her way. He deserved a wife who could give him sons imbued with his same courage and determination, daughters who wouldn’t compromise but would fight for what they wanted.
She had to deserve the future she wanted, and the only way she could do that was by taking a part in winning it. That meant taking on Stocker Pullet. But what good would that do? No one would pay any attention to what she said unless she had some proof, but how could she get it? The easiest way was by getting close to him, but that would mean working in his saloon. She didn’t like the idea, but she didn’t have to worry about her reputation anymore. That was already gone.
She smiled to herself. It would shock Russ if she was able to resolve a situation he hadn’t been able to remedy after years of trying. People were basically the same the world over. They did things for the same stupid reasons and selfish motives here as they had back in Kentucky or in St. Louis. If she was able to prove Stocker was somehow involved with the rustlers or had knowledge of what they were doing, Russ would never again be able to ignore her opinion. She was determined that their marriage would be one of equals.
“What are you doing?” Tardy asked when he found Tanzy hitching a horse to the buggy.
“Hitching a horse to the buggy.”
“I can see that, but why are you doing it?”
“I’m going to town.”
“What for?”
“I’m leaving.”
It took Tardy a moment to realize she meant that her leaving wasn’t temporary. “You can’t do that. You belong here with us.”
“I thought so, but I was wrong.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t expect I’ll be any more successful in explaining it to you than I was explaining it to Russ. Maybe he’s right that I don’t know how things are done out here, and maybe he is giving my opinions all the consideration they deserve, but I can’t live in the middle of a feud ever again.”
“This isn’t a feud. It’s just a fight to see who’s stronger. That happens all the time.”
“I thought I could accept that, but I can’t.”
“I can’t let you go. Russ will kill me.”
“Everybody in town thought you were wrong when you wanted to leave your aunt’s home, but I supported you because I thought it was best for you. Now it’s your turn.”
“I don’t want you to go.” He sounded near tears.
“Do you think I want to leave the man I love, to walk away from what I thought was greater happiness than I’d ever imagined? I’ve argued with myself until I can’t think straight, but the answer always comes out the same. I have to leave.”
“After Russ kills me for letting you go, he’ll come after you.”
“Please convince him not to try.”
“Of course he’ll come after you. I wouldn’t stay here another minute if he didn’t.”
Tanzy realized she’d have to accept that there were some things about the male mind she would never understand.
“Will you fetch my trunk?”
“No, ma’am. I don’t mean to be rude, but I won’t do nothing to help you leave here.”
“Then you can tell Russ to bring it when he comes after me,” Tanzy snapped. “That ought to salve both your consciences.”
She drove out of the yard angry. When she noticed the horse’s ears were laid back against its head, she realized she’d been taking her frustrations out on it. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m not in a considerate mood right now.”
She slowed down when she reached the pass. Oren wouldn’t have stopped her, but she owed him an explanation. She didn’t want Russ
to blame him for letting her go.
“You shouldn’t be leaving until Russ gets back,” Oren said.
“I have something to do that can’t wait. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“What am I supposed to tell Russ?”
“Exactly what I told you.”
“He won’t like it.”
“I’ll be happier if he hates it.”
Russ pushed his horse into a ground-eating canter. He hadn’t been so angry since he’d discovered Toley Pullet had left his sister to die alone. What the hell did Tanzy think she was doing, leaving without waiting for him to come back? He wouldn’t have left if he’d known she would do something like this. The boys could have taken care of setting fire to Stocker’s barn and bunk-house by themselves. They’d done a little more damage because Stocker’s buildings were made of sawed boards, not logs, but Stocker had a big crew and they’d put out the fires before they did too much damage. That suited Russ. He didn’t want to destroy anything, just let Stocker know he couldn’t attack Russ with impunity. Anything he did was going to cost him as much or more.
He didn’t know why Tanzy had left. The garbled story he got out of Tardy was so overladen with the boy’s sense of ill usage by him and Tanzy that Russ wasn’t able to make any sense of it. Interlarded with remarks about being treated like a baby were equally obscure references to his being a gentleman even though he’d refused to help Tanzy leave, feuds that weren’t feuds, and a trunk that Russ had better not take to town even though Tanzy had asked that he did. He’d left Welt trying to soothe the boy’s feelings. He couldn’t think of anything except bringing Tanzy back.
He had thought anger would be his dominant emotion, maybe even confusion, but it was fear—fear that the future he’d believed was in his grasp had been snatched away again. He didn’t even have time to hate Stocker for being the cause of it. All he could think about was convincing Tanzy that leaving would be the biggest mistake of her life. If he couldn’t convince her to come back, he wouldn’t stop until every one of Stocker’s buildings had been reduced to ashes, until his every cow was scattered over the eastern third of the Territory. Stocker had tried to destroy his life twice. He would not go unpunished this time.
Memories of the night he and Tanzy had spent together kept bedeviling him. Everything had been so perfect. He’d never imaged it could be so wonderful to be loved. Maybe it seemed like a simple thing to others, but love had always eluded him before now. He’d felt it in Tanzy’s touch, in her smile, in the warmth of her body as she yielded herself to him. He’d felt it even as she lay sleeping in his arms. The calm assurance that she was safe, protected, loved had rebounded on him, making him feel powerful, needed as well as loved. It was a heady sensation, one he could become drunk on more quickly than on whiskey. The thought kept going through his mind that his whole miserable life would have been worth it if he could end up with Tanzy.
He’d waited so long, become convinced it would never happen to him, that his guard had been down. In the few brief hours allotted to him, he’d come to believe love would be his forever, had come to depend on it being there, and believed his struggle was over. Discovering none of this was true had been a painful wrench. A starving man Who had food stolen from his outstretched hands will fight. Russ had tasted the food of love. He, too, would fight. He just didn’t know how.
He rode into town, oblivious to the stares he earned. He was certain the news of the fires at Stocker’s ranch had gotten around. He was also certain he was being blamed. He rode straight to the hotel, slid from the saddle, and strode inside.
“Where is she?” he asked Archie.
“She’s got a room, but she’s not here now,” Archie said, his voice lowered to a whisper.
“When will she be back?”
“She didn’t say.”
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know.”
Archie was writing something on the back of an envelope. “You know it’s the hotel policy not to disclose the whereabouts of guests without their permission.”
“Policy be damned,” Russ blurted out. “I want to know where she is.”
Archie turned the envelope so Russ could read it. Stocker’s saloon. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t tell you even if I knew.”
“Damn you and damn your policy,” Russ said as he turned and strode from the lobby.
What the hell was Tanzy doing at Stocker’s saloon? One thing was for certain: In less than two minutes, he’d have his answer.
Chapter Twenty-six
Tanzy hadn’t expected Russ to come after her so quickly. She’d barely had time to come to terms with Stocker about her employment. She didn’t want a confrontation, but from the look on Russ’s face, she was going to get one.
“What did you mean by running away when my back was turned?” Russ said, coming up to her without any preamble. “And what do you mean by being here?”
“I don’t want to talk to you here.” She was in a narrow hall that led to several rooms in back, one of them Stocker’s office, but even this was too public for her.
“You’re the one who chose the place.”
“You chose the place by following me here.”
“Did you think I’d let you leave and not follow?”
“You’re not responsible for me. I can go anywhere I please.”
“Not here. I won’t let you.”
Tanzy tried to walk past him, but Russ grabbed her wrist. She tried to pull loose, but he wouldn’t release her.
“Why did you leave?”
“I told you from the beginning I would never have anything to do with a man who was involved in a feud.”
“This is not a feud.”
“Call it what you want; people have died, buildings have been burned, cattle have been stolen. That’s more than enough for me.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not the same out here.”
“That’s another thing,” Tanzy said. “Every time I disagree with you, you say I don’t understand, that people do things differently out here”
“They do.”
That’s your opinion. Mine is that people are the same everywhere.”
“Something as small as that and you’d walk out on everything we had?”
Tanzy pulled her wrist from his slackened grasp. The light was poor in the hall, but she could see his face. He looked hurt, angry … afraid. “What did we have, Russ?”
“Everything.”
“We had a few brief hours when we thought we had everything. But morning came, as it always does, and daylight showed us nothing had changed. I was mistaken. You were mistaken.”
“We weren’t mistaken.” He gripped her tightly by the shoulders. “Tell me what I have to do to get you back. I’ll do anything.”
Russ’s look of entreaty nearly destroyed Tanzy’s resolve to keep him from knowing what she was trying to do. She couldn’t let Russ know because he’d do everything he could to stop her.
“I won’t go back to the ranch. You and the boys will have to suffer with Welt’s cooking.”
“I don’t give a damn about Welt’s cooking. I don’t care if you never cook again. I want you back. I love you. I want to marry you. I want—”
Tanzy had to force herself to say, “We both tried, but we failed.”
“We didn’t fail. We didn’t even get a chance to try.”
“Another instance when you don’t respect my opinion.”
This is not about respecting opinions. You say you love me one night and the next day you leave. It’s like some child’s game, now you see it, now you don’t.”
Tanzy had to get away from Russ. If she didn’t, she was going to start crying. “I’ve said all I’ve got to say. I have to go.”
He reached out for her wrist again. She turned to face him. “What are you going to do? You don’t have a job. I know Ethel didn’t give you back the teaching job.”
“I asked Stocker for a job. I’ll begin working in his saloon tonight.”
She might as well have slapped him. It couldn’t have shocked him more. “I won’t let you work for that bastard.”
“I can work for anyone I please.”
“But this is a saloon.”
“I know, but Ethel will tell you working in a saloon is no different from working in a gambling hall.”
“I don’t give a damn what Ethel thinks.”
“Neither do I. It seems we do agree on one thing.”
“What is going on?” Stocker’s raised voice nearly drowned out Russ’s words. “What are you doing in my saloon, you lying, thieving murderer? Get out before I have you thrown out.”
“I don’t want to be here any more than you want me here,” Russ said, “but I’m not leaving without Tanzy.”
“She’s working for me now.”
“I won’t let her.”
“You can’t stop me from hiring her.”
“I can stop you by breaking your lying, cheating neck.”
“Both of you stop acting like little boys,” Tanzy said, moving between the two men before they started slugging each other. “I don’t need either of you to protect me. Stocker, if you’re going to start a fight every time somebody wants to talk to me, I won’t work for you.”
“I’m not starting a fight. It’s that—”
“And you,” she said, turning on Russ and cutting Stocker off, “are not going to start fights with anybody who will give me a job. Now you,” she said, turning back to Stocker, “have business to attend to, so go to your office and attend to it.”
“I won’t leave you here with that man.”
“Russ is not staying. He has a ranch to run, and he can’t do that from here.”
The two men glared at each other across her.
“I’m not moving until you do,” Tanzy said.
Still neither man moved.
“Stocker, I’m quitting this minute if you don’t go to your office. Russ, I’ll never speak to you again if you don’t leave this building.”
“If you don’t leave this building, we’ll have nothing to talk about.”
The Reluctant Bride Page 30