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Chapter 15 - Recovery
It was the day of Parker’s release from the hospital. Marc had come by to help him and Cody move back into Jeanette and Paul’s house. Cody was in high spirits, but Parker seemed depressed.
“Are you okay, Parker?” Marc asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t want to go to Mom and Dad’s.”
“Park, it’s going to be another year before the house is ready to move back in. Where else would we stay?” Cody knew about Parker’s feelings but didn’t see an alternative.
“A hotel?” Parker offered weakly. He, too, knew that they didn’t have many alternatives. Yes, they had discussed renting a house for the time being, but after all these weeks, the kids were settled, and they didn’t want to uproot them again.
“You’re funny. Why pay heaps of money when you can stay at your parents’ house for free?”
“Because my parents are going to be there?” Parker said, defeated.
“Oh, shush. They’ve been the perfect hosts, so have your siblings. They’ve accepted their new roommates without a single complaint.”
“I know, I know. I’m being ungrateful. I just can’t help it.”
“Maybe you all need a vacation.” Marc’s suggestion caught both boys by surprise.
“Vacation? What do you mean?” Cody asked.
“Oh, come on, Cody. It hasn’t been that long since you were on a vacation, has it? You go away and enjoy yourself. Remember our cruise?”
“How could I forget?”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean before your accident.”
“I think that’s a great idea. Why don’t we see if we can get back on the Diamond? Are you still in touch with anyone on that ship, Marc?” Parker’s spirits seemed to suddenly improve.
Marc shook his head. “No, but I have an e-mail address for Captain Sverre. I could ask him where they are. Why?”
Parker smiled broadly. “Wouldn’t it be cool to spend a few weeks aboard the Diamond? Relax, be pampered? We could bring the family along. Would you and Adam want to join us?”
Marc was dumbfounded. “I, uh, I don’t know. We’ve not even spoken about a vacation, let alone where to go. I’ve been busy getting my license, and Adam’s been snowed under with work, and with Josh back in school… I just don’t know.”
“Oh, come on,” Parker insisted. “Wouldn’t it be fun? You guys, us, my parents, and Uncle Rick. We could try to drag along the entire clan. I’m sure they’d give us a discount.”
Marc could tell that Parker was already making plans in his mind. Cody smiled, relieved that Parker had a project to sink his teeth into. There was little they could do at the construction site anyway. The builders had their plans and were working as fast as they could, but building a house that size wasn’t something that could be done overnight. At least not if it was meant to stay up for a while—preferably longer than the old house had.
“Okay, I’ll e-mail the captain, and we’ll take it from there. I’ll talk to Adam, but I can’t promise anything. Are you ready to go home now?” Marc went to fetch his car, and they helped Parker settle in the passenger seat while Cody took a seat in the back.
The drive to Paul and Jeanette’s place was quiet and uneventful. Cody called ahead as they approached the house, located in a western suburb of Chicago. “Yeah, we’ll be there in five minutes… Yeah, he’s fine… Okay, see you soon…. Yeah, right, ’bye.”
When they pulled up to the house, Jeanette was already outside, waiting. “Hey, welcome home, son,” she said, opening the passenger door. She reached down and hugged Parker, who was trying to unfasten his seat belt.
“Hey, Mom. Let me get out first.”
Jeanette blushed and moved out of the way. Slowly, Parker got up and climbed out of the car seat. While he had been medically discharged, there was still a way to go before he would be his old self again. He’d decided to shave off his hair completely; it would have just looked strange with the bald patch. Cody liked it, and joined him. Having always worn his curly black hair cropped short, shaving it all off had been a small step. The two men looked like an old couple, grown together not only through the love they shared, but through their looks as well. Jeanette chuckled when she saw them standing next to each other. “You boys look like eggheads.”
“Why, thank you, Mother.” Parker shook his head. “Isn’t this grand?” He gave her a funny look, but the tone of his voice clearly implied that he hadn’t taken it seriously. In fact, he’d made a similar remark to Cody when his husband had shown up at the hospital that morning with his head shaved. The apple clearly doesn’t fall far…
Once they were all settled, they met up in the big living room for coffee, and Parker was quick to try to find support for his idea. “What do you say, Mom? Wouldn’t you like to get away?”
Jeanette laughed. “At this time of year? No, Parker. I can’t. We can’t, and you know it. The kids go to school, it’s the middle of the term. We can’t just pull them out. Besides, we have a big fundraiser in four weeks, and Rick needs my help.”
Parker’s head slumped, and he seemed defeated. “But why don’t you boys go? We can look after the kids for a while. I actually think you do deserve a break after everything you’ve been through.”
Parker and Cody exchanged meaningful glances. Cody shrugged. “She has a point. And maybe it would be nice to get away, just the two of us. You know, since Bora Bora, we haven’t been alone, ever. There’s always been people around us.”
“What about the kids? Wouldn’t it feel like we’re abandoning them?”
Marc butted in. “Depends. Maybe if you sell it like you’re going away on this grand romantic vacation just on your own, they might. But if you tell them that it’s part of your recovery process and that you’ll take them on a vacation once school is out…”
Parker frowned. “And where would we go?”
“Well, you could go back to the ship again, or you could go out to the cabin. You could go anywhere, really. Why not ask the kids what they want?”
“I like that idea. While we long for a bit of seclusion and pampering, the kids might just dream of swimming in the lake and rummaging around the forest. Let’s ask them. But I better contact Captain Sverre. Marc, you said you had his e-mail?”
“Sending it to you now.”
Later in the evening, when all the kids had returned from school and the entire large family—minus Marc, who’d returned to the city—had dinner, Parker announced that he and Cody were going away for a few weeks on a vacation. At first, the kids protested, but when Cody promised they’d all go on a family vacation in the summer, they relented, and the discussion turned to what to do.
“Where would you like to go?”
Kyle was first to jump in. “I sure don’t want to go on a cruise. That’s for old people.”
Parker smiled. “I hear you, champ. Not that I agree. We’re not old, and we had plenty of fun on our first cruise. So what do you want to do?”
Kyle shrugged.
“Can we go do Disney World?” Amy suggested, and Jeff’s face lit up at the idea.
Parker smiled. “Yeah, that’s a definite possibility. Then again, Florida and summer? You guys may want to reconsider and do that in the winter instead, when it’s not so hot and humid.”
“What about the cabin?” Susan suggested. “Do you think Marc would let us use it? I really like it out there. It’s like a camping trip without the icky tents.”
“Yeah,” Kyle chimed in. “We could go fishing and hunting.”
“Well, we’ll see about the hunting. Our family has had mixed experiences with hunting out there.” Parker didn’t go into details, but Jeanette and Paul knew he was referring to Dan’s first lover, Sean, who’d been killed during a hunting expedition many years ago. Ever since then, weapons had been prohibited in the cabin, and both Dan and Jonathan had preferred different activities.
Kyle shrugged. “Whatever. Fishing’s cool, I guess.”
Parker looked to Amy and Jeff. “Would you like to spend some time at the cabin this summer?” Both kids smiled broadly and nodded fiercely. “Well,” he looked at Cody, “I guess that settles it then. We’ll spend some time out by the cabin this summer, and we’ll schedule Disney World for the Holidays?”
All four kids erupted in cheers, while Parker’s younger siblings remained silent during the entire exchange—something Paul had noted.
“Listen kids, we may not all fit in the cabin during the summer, but if you like, we can join them for Christmas in Florida?”
This announcement was like music to the ears of Louise and Paul Jr. Even Daniel smiled, although he’d be off to college by then.
“You’re welcome, too, Dan, if you like. I kind of like to have the entire family together at Christmas.” The teen shrugged and gave his father a noncommittal facial expression. “I mean it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have everyone together on a family vacation?”
Faced with the stares from everyone else around the table, Daniel shrugged again and said, “We’ll see, Dad. I’m kind of too young to be thinking that far into the future…”
Which of course had everyone else erupt in laughter, bringing that particular discussion to an end.
***
“How’s Parker?”
Marc couldn’t help but smile at Adam’s question. “He’s fine. He’s already making plans for vacations. He wants us to come along on a cruise with him and the rest of the family.”
“And you said?” Adam’s face displayed an array of emotions from surprise to fear.
“I told him we couldn’t. Too much work and too many things going on with my license, your job, and Josh. I’ve basically given him a rain check. But I don’t think we’re completely off the hook yet. I’m sure they’ll try and get us back on that boat at some point.” Marc shook his head and chuckled. Not that he wouldn’t mind going on a cruise, but it didn’t necessarily have to be the Diamond. Too many memories, good and bad, were tied to that ship, and with Jonathan gone, some memories were best left untouched. It had surprised Marc that Parker had even suggested the Diamond, but maybe he and Cody saw things differently, despite the accident in Honolulu that had cost Cody both his legs.
“What are you thinking about?” Adam asked.
“Nothing much. I was just thinking about our last time aboard the Diamond. That’s the name of the cruise ship that Parker wants to get back on. It’s where I met the Jacksons in the first place. Some fond memories, but, I don’t know, I’m not sure I’d want to go back there.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Is that a professional question?” Marc asked, half joking.
“Whichever you like. You’re not my patient anymore, Marc. You haven’t been in a long time. But I’m a human being, and I can’t shut down my education just because I’m sitting at the dinner table with you and Josh. I am a psychiatrist, even in my home. It’s who I am.”
Marc put up his arms in a defensive posture. “Yo, I was kidding.”
Josh was coming back from the bathroom and chuckled. “Lovers’ quarrel?”
Marc laughed, this time out loud. “No, Josh. I was just teasing Hwan about something. Speaking of which, I don’t think we’ve had a fight yet, have we?”
Adam shook his head. “No, but if you keep avoiding the subject, you just might…” He blinked at Marc, to make sure he understood that he, too, was joking.
“I’m sure you guys would have great make-up sex if you ever did have a fight. Mind if I watched?”
“Yeah, right. If we’re stuck in this place for much longer, I won’t even know what a sex drive is, much less have you watch us. Besides, ew! Josh, that is one thought I needn’t have in my head.” Adam shook his head in mock disgust.
“Admit it, it turns you on.”
Marc’s voice was very even, but very firm. “Josh, that’s quite enough. Both Adam and I know you’re probably more experienced in the sexual arena than both of us, but that is no reason to talk like this. You’re a minor, you’re under our supervision, and then there are a gazillion more important reasons why I wouldn’t want to even entertain the thought.
“But most importantly, for you, as much as you think it’s funny, is that we are trying to get custody for you. We want you to be our son. We want to look after you. Do you really think any government agency would ever approve any such endeavor if they knew that you made these kinds of overtures at the dinner table? Even if we all know that you don’t mean it? So please, don’t ever make such a comment again.”
Josh’s head drooped. “I’m sorry. I just thought—”
Marc cut him off, sharply. “That’s exactly the point, Josh. You didn’t think. Because if you had, you’d have understood it’s completely unacceptable and inappropriate to even suggest what you just did.”
Adam put down his utensils and looked at the two, speaking calmly. “Okay. Enough. From both of you. Josh, Marc is right. Marc, I think he gets it. Now, can I get an answer to my question?”
Josh relaxed, glad to be off the hook, and Marc took Adam’s hand in his. “You’re right. I just… I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I think the fact that the three of us are living in this very crowded space, and with the visit from social services looming, I’m just afraid we may not get the approval to keep Josh here. And I’d hate it if he had to go back to the life he had before. Anyway, what question?”
“The ship. Why do you have such bad memories that you don’t want to return?”
“They aren’t exactly bad memories. It’s just that I met Jonathan on the boat, and there was so much happening at the time, and in such a short time that… I don’t know. It’s just that sometimes I look back on my life on the Diamond and it seems more like a dream, a fairy tale, than reality. And I’m afraid that if I went back, my memories might change, that I’d see my life with Jonathan, those first months, in a different light.”
Adam nodded. “Would that be a bad thing?”
“I don’t know. I’m afraid that it could be, yes. The harsh reality of returning without him would somehow put the seal of finality on that part of my life.”
“Yet you don’t feel the same way about the cabin?”
Marc’s face took on a strange expression, and conflicted emotions washed across it. “Good question. I guess not. This may sound strange, but I’ve always felt the cabin was the embodiment of Jonathan and Dan’s life together. I’ve never been a part of that—that part of Jonathan’s life. So apart from all the stories he told me about it, I don’t know anything about it, don’t have any emotional attachment to the cabin, not the way I do with regards to the Diamond. It’s like the hotel on Bora Bora. I doubt I could ever return. The memories are too painful.”
“I understand Bora Bora. You had a highlight and a lowlight of your life condensed onto that island. It makes perfect sense. Although, maybe someday, when you’ve crossed some more distance in time, you’ll see it differently.”
Marc shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. It would be nice. It is a beautiful place. Speaking of which, I think we should talk about our living arrangements. It’s still a good year, probably more, before the house will be finished, and I’m not sure we can do this—” he used his hands to motion around the table “—for that long. Josh is sleeping on the couch, and we’re stuck behind a paravent, listening to Josh snore all night.” Marc uttered the last words with a smirk on his face, looking directly at Josh.
“What? I don’t snore. That’s just slander! If anything, the snoring comes from your bed.” He laughed. Marc laughed, too, and nodded.
Adam’s look was priceless, seemingly oblivious to what had just transpired. “I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I sleep at night!”
Josh couldn’t help but jab at him. “Trust me, we know, because we can’t.” He laughed so hard he had trouble breathing. The mood at the table was light again, despite the serious topics they were discussing.
Marc tried to put things back on tra
ck. “Seriously, Hwan, this isn’t working. I know how much you love this place. But we have to find a larger apartment, and we have to do it now.”
“I hear you. And I’m not as attached to this place as you may think. But finding a short-term lease isn’t easy, not downtown. Let me talk to the housing management, see if they have anything.”
“What about your parents?”
“You’re joking, right? My parents live in a two-bedroom apartment in Albany Park. And I seriously doubt they’d even entertain the idea of having me come back without renouncing my ‘lifestyle’—” Adam drew air quotes to underline his point “—let alone move in with my boyfriend and our charge.”
“Do they even know about us?” Marc asked, and Adam shook his head. “Are you ever going to tell them?”
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Chapter 16 - Adam Kim
It had been a couple of weeks since “the” dinner. Adam couldn’t forget it. What had started out as light banter about Marc’s memories of a cruise ship had turned into their first real argument. No, it hadn’t been serious—no shouting, not with Josh around—and yes, Marc had been right. They were overcrowded. There was no privacy, no way for them to discuss adult stuff without Josh hearing everything. Not to talk about intimacy. He and Marc hadn’t had sex in weeks, and they felt like they were cheating whenever they tried to steal a moment when Josh was still in school. Most of the time, it didn’t work, and so they’d finally given up.
Adam was wondering about moving, though. There was something inherently scary about that prospect, and it didn’t really matter if it was to the house or to an apartment. He’d lived alone for such a long time, he was used to being his own master. Even now, with both Marc and Josh sharing the crowded space, it was still his space, essentially. He decided what was and what wasn’t.
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