by Heidi Rice
He tucked the phone into the back pocket of his jeans. And dispelled the small tug of guilt. Ella would get to meet all his friends at Josie’s wedding in three weeks’ time if she was still here, but until then it would be better if they both kept a low profile.
Their little heart-to-heart and that poignant insight into her childhood had been unsettling and he didn’t want any more weird moments like that again if he could avoid them.
When she’d told him about her parents’ break-up, the urge to take away the unhappiness in her eyes had been dumb enough. But much worse had been the freaky feeling of connection. Because he remembered exactly what it was like to be scared, to be confused, to feel as if your world were being ripped apart and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. When he was a child, his mother’s black moods, those dark days when she couldn’t function, or when she cried—usually after his father had been by to screw her for old times’ sake—had scared the hell out of him.
He’d almost told Ella about it. Thank God, he’d managed to stop himself just in time. Because the last thing he needed was them sharing confidences about stuff that meant nothing now.
He’d ridden out the storm long ago and he’d survived. And Ella had too.
But, unlike Ella, his takeaway from his childhood had been nowhere near as sunny and sweet as hers. And that made her vulnerable in a way he hadn’t really considered until now.
Ella was an optimist, unrealistic expectations came with the territory, and he didn’t want her getting any unrealistic ideas about him and what he was able to offer her and the kid.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy seeing that bright light in her eyes, or knowing she thought more of him than he knew was there. He certainly didn’t plan to extinguish that light unnecessarily. Plus, after way too many bruising fights and angry words in his youth, and all those endless pointless arguments with his mom to get her to see the truth about his old man, he’d also become a big fan of avoidance when it came to talking about your feelings.
Especially if you had nothing to say on the matter.
Getting Ella together with Sonny and Josie and telling them about the baby would just create loads of unnecessary drama. He shivered as goosebumps pebbled down his spine at the thought. Because neither one of them could keep their noses out of his business and they had an opinion about every damn thing. And Inez was one of the biggest gossips on the island, so it made sense to keep her out of the loop too. He didn’t want anyone knowing his business before he knew it himself.
He put the glass down at the soft pad of footsteps on the stairs and glanced up, his pulse slowing to a harsh, jerky beat as Ella walked towards him.
The filmy dress she wore blew around her legs. The bodice only showed a small amount of cleavage, but he could still make out that magnificent rack and the bullet-tipped nipples outlined by the snug fabric.
Well, he guessed that was some compensation—however many problems this pregnancy was going to cause in the long term, he could totally get behind the changes his child was making to her body now.
He put a dampener on the thought when she opened her mouth in a jaw-breaking yawn. He needed to keep his dick under control tonight, at least until she’d slept off the effects of her flight. And suffering through another sleepless night might make him think twice before losing his cool with her again.
‘Hi, this looks amazing,’ she said, surveying the table. ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’
‘You’re not the only one.’
She laughed, that musical lilt that had beguiled him from the get-go. ‘Why do I have the strange feeling it’s not a horse you want to eat?’
Smart girl.
He took her hand, kissed the knuckles. ‘As much as I’d like to eat you, tonight, it’s probably best if you stay in the guest room.’ He pulled out her chair so she could take a seat. ‘Alone.’ He bit down on the groan as she tucked the pretty dress round that tempting butt.
‘You don’t have to do that.’ The furrow of surprise and disappointment on her brow was almost comical. ‘Unless you want to,’ she added, as if his wanting her was actually in doubt.
‘Honey, you’ve just got off an eight-hour flight.’ He forced himself to be noble and ignore the growing ache in his crotch. ‘It’s the early hours by my count in the UK and...’ He was about to point out that she was pregnant, but stopped himself. No need to bring up that topic unnecessarily. ‘And I don’t want to wear you out,’ he finished.
The heart-pumping smile brightened her whole face. ‘That’s very considerate of you.’ Wasn’t it just? ‘But I should warn you, I’m not good with jet lag. I’ll probably wake up at the crack of dawn.’
He allowed himself a firm kiss, of exactly two seconds’ duration. Because any longer would only increase the torment. ‘Once you’re awake, you’ll find me in the bedroom at the end of the veranda.’ Most likely wide awake and ready for action. ‘I’m sure I can figure out a way to cure your jet lag.’ She blushed prettily and his voice lowered. ‘Sleep therapy happens to be a speciality of mine.’
‘I’ll bet.’ The eagerness on her face crucified him. ‘I’m sure that will come in handy, come cougar time.’
He chuckled, the sound rough, as he pulled up a chair and began piling the food onto their plates. He listed the different dishes Inez had prepared, reeled off some suggested activities she might like to try in the next couple of days, and neatly sidestepped a couple of questions about the snorkel tour. And Sonny.
To stay focused on eating the food and not her, he kept in mind that, while tonight would be torture, downtime now would be rewarded by lots of uptime from tomorrow morning onwards.
He quizzed her about her business and as many other generic topics as he could think of before her eyelids began to droop. He showed her back up to the guest bed after supper, and kissed her on the cheek—and had to be grateful that she was too exhausted to do more than smile sleepily back. Especially when her scent invaded his nostrils, and it took every last ounce of his will power to step back and close the door after her. Just before the door clicked shut, he heard the soft sound of her flopping onto the bed they’d shared less than an hour ago—and his knuckles whitened on the door handle.
It took a couple of seconds but he finally let go.
Tucking his clenched fists into his pockets, he headed down the hall to the library at the other end of the house, feeling more noble than Sir Galahad.
Booting up the computer on his desktop, he ran a search on the effects of pregnancy on a woman’s body in the first and second trimester. Might be good to do some research—Ella said sex in pregnancy was safe, but, considering how much sex they were likely to want, he didn’t want to be making any demands on her she couldn’t handle.
But he couldn’t concentrate on the information, his impatience for the night to be over growing as the endless minutes ticked by. The thought that every one of those minutes shortened the time they had left together only irritated him more.
What was up with that?
They had as much time as they needed. She’d agreed to buy an open ticket. And very few women had kept his interest for more than a couple of dates. So it stood to reason that, no matter how cute and fascinating and hot he found her, or how much baggage they had to sort out with the baby, having her in his home would get old soon enough.
So why the heck was he was already worrying about her departure?
TEN
‘Wow, that was a-mazing!’ Ella shoved up her mask and hit the release button on her tanks. She laughed, her mind still reeling from all the images she’d seen and absorbed in the last thirty minutes. She’d thought snorkelling on the reef had been a lifetime experience, but her first scuba-dive had topped it.
Darting fish, waving coral, the dappled sunlight shining through the waves and the pure white sand sparkling unde
r her flippers.
‘Here. Let me.’ Coop grabbed the air tanks and set them on the boat’s deck before shrugging off his own equipment.
‘I almost had a cow when I saw that shark.’ She shuddered, the laugh breathless at the memory of the majestic creature gliding by beneath them. ‘What kind was it? It looked enormous.’
She unzipped the snug wetsuit, struggled out of the top half.
‘Tiger shark, about seven feet.’ Cooper sent her a mocking smile as he climbed out of his own suit. Water glistened on his tanned chest, diverting her gaze. ‘Not much more than a baby. Nothing to freak out about.’
‘You’re joking—that was no baby,’ she replied, indignant. ‘And I didn’t freak out.’ Much.
He chuckled and grabbed her wrist, to pull her into his embrace. ‘I guess you handled yourself pretty well.’
His palm touched her cheek and she felt the giddy rush of pleasure from the intense study. ‘For a rookie,’ he whispered, before his lips covered hers and she forgot to be mad.
They were both breathless when they came up for air. Her heart beat in an even more irregular rhythm than when she’d spotted the tiger shark.
‘So, you want to do that again some time?’ His hands settled on her waist, his thumbs brushing her hips above the half-off wetsuit. ‘Sharks notwithstanding.’
‘Yes, please. And I loved the shark.’ He chuckled at her enthusiasm. ‘It was so beautiful and exciting.’
But not as beautiful and exciting as you, she almost added, but stopped herself just in time. She’d been on the island ten days now, and it was getting harder and harder not to let her feelings run away with themselves. With his damp hair falling across his brow, those handsome features gilded by sunlight, and the lean muscles of his six-pack rigid against her palms it was even harder to remember why she shouldn’t let them.
She’d had an incredible time so far. When she’d been here in April, she’d stayed almost exclusively at the resort. And had no idea that she’d missed so much of what the island had to offer. The colonial elegance of the pastel-shaded houses and cobblestoned streets in St George, the exhilaration of a motorbike ride to a secluded cove, the luxury of an impromptu picnic lunch at a beach café.
But best of all had been Coop’s attention and his willingness to spend so much time with her. Every day he’d laid on a new adventure to experience. And apart from a few hours spent in his study each day to deal with his business, he’d hardly left her side.
She hadn’t expected him to be this enthusiastic about showing her around—or how much she would enjoy his company. She felt young and carefree and bold, excited at the prospect of trying out new things that she might have been too cautious to try out before.
Yesterday morning he’d announced she was learning to scuba-dive. Then he’d devoted most of the day to teaching her. Fitting her out while demonstrating all the equipment, giving her endless lessons in how to breathe through the regulator in the pool, running through all the safety routines, and the intricacies of buddy breathing.
They’d managed a short training dive yesterday from the beach, but today he’d taken her out on the motor cruiser.
And the thirty-minute dive had been spectacular. Every second of it.
But even her first scuba-dive in Bermuda couldn’t top the wonder of spending her nights and the long lazy mornings in bed with Coop. The man had skills in the bedroom that were quite simply phenomenal—making love to her with care and dedication one minute and hungry intensity the next.
Of course, during all the fun and frolics, she’d been careful to keep reminding herself that this trip wasn’t about her and Coop but about the baby—which hadn’t been all that hard to do, for the simple reason that she hadn’t made a lot of progress in that area at all.
He talked about their baby and the pregnancy, but only in very generic, impersonal ways. In fact, he was so guarded on the subject whenever it came up now, that she had begun to wonder if all the new activities, all the wonderful experiences hadn’t been arranged to distract her from any mention of why she was really here.
She hated herself for being suspicious of his motives, for doubting his sincerity in any way, but most of all she didn’t understand why he would even want to do that. What possible reason could he have to avoid the subject? When he’d invited her to his home specifically to talk about it? It didn’t make any sense.
‘You want to go back out tomorrow?’ he asked, brushing her hair back from her face.
The flutter of contentment pushed aside the foolish moment of doubt.
She was being ridiculous. How could he be avoiding talking to her, when they were together so much of the time? ‘Could we go out again today?’
He tapped her nose. ‘No way. Half an hour’s enough. You’re a beginner and...’ his gaze flicked to her abdomen and he took his hand from her waist ‘...you know.’
It was an oblique reference to the baby, but a reference nonetheless, so she decided to go with it. If she had concerns, maybe it was about time she voiced them. She knew she had a tendency to avoid confrontations. Probably a lay-over from her early childhood, when her parents had spent so much of the time arguing—and the hideous breakdown of her relationship with Randall.
But if the thought of the baby made Coop uncomfortable, the only way to get over that was to stop letting him avoid the subject. And when she’d Skyped Ruby the day before, her friend had told her in no uncertain terms to stop worrying and confront Coop about the issue.
‘I called the obstetrician this morning,’ she said as casually as she could manage. ‘The one you lined up for me. She said scuba-diving would be absolutely fine.’
‘Yeah, you told me. But it’s still not a good idea to push it.’
‘I didn’t know you’d heard me,’ she said, trying not to mind the abrupt dismissal as he set about hanging the air tanks on their frame. ‘I arranged to go in for a check-up on Monday, by the way,’ she added, but he didn’t look up, engrossed in checking the gauges. ‘If you want to come with me?’
That had got his attention, she thought, as his head shot up. ‘Why?’ There was no mistaking the flicker of panic. ‘Do I need to? Is there something wrong?’
‘No, of course not, but...’ While his concern warmed her, the panic was another matter. ‘I thought you might like to come—she might do a scan and you could see the baby.’
‘Right.’ He turned away, went back to concentrating on the equipment. ‘Why don’t you shimmy out of that wetsuit?’ He threw the request over his shoulder. ‘Then we can head back before you start to burn. It’s hot as hell out here.’
She inched the wetsuit down her legs, sat down on the boat’s bench seat to struggle out of the clinging black neoprene. ‘So you’ll come to the scan? On Monday?’
She handed him the suit and he draped it over the bench seat next to his.
‘Yeah, maybe, I don’t know. I’ll have to see how I’m fixed.’ He met her eyes at last, the ‘don’t get too excited’ tone in his voice loud and clear. ‘When’s your appointment?’
The lack of enthusiasm was almost palpable and she had the sudden premonition that he was only asking for the information so he had time to come up with a viable excuse.
‘Two-thirty.’
‘Damn, that’s a shame. I promised Sonny I’d come over that afternoon. I’ll have to miss it.’
Her heart stuttered. So now she knew for sure. She had not imagined his reluctance. She drew in a deep breath, determined not to back down again in the face of his stubbornness.
‘I see.’ She tugged her beach tunic on over her bikini, the ocean breeze making her shiver despite the heat. ‘I could rearrange the appointment for later. Why don’t I come with you to see Sonny? I’d love to meet him.’
The sides of his mouth pinched—making the strain to maintain the easy smile on his lips
more visible. ‘No need for that. I’m helping him strip an old motor. It’s not going to be any fun.’
She felt the dismissal like a slap that time. She’d asked before about his friends on the island. And he’d closed her down on that subject too. She’d been here for over a week and she hadn’t met anyone he knew. When she’d suggested going back to The Rum Runner the previous evening, he’d explained that he didn’t want Henry hitting on her again, then picked her up and dumped her in the pool. Once he’d dived in after her and then ‘helped’ her out of her wet clothes, the request had quickly been forgotten.
She watched as he began to pack the equipment into the box at the end of the boat. The panicked beat of her heart richocheted against her chest wall.
Stop freaking out and ask him. Avoidance isn’t the answer. You can’t handle this if you don’t know what’s going on.
‘Don’t you want me to meet your friends?’
He swung round on his haunches, his eyebrow arching up his forehead. ‘Huh?’
‘It just seems a bit strange—’ she forced the comment out, past lips that had dried to parchment ‘—that wherever we go we never seem to bump into anyone you know.’
She saw the flash of guilt in his eyes before he was able to mask it.
‘They don’t even know I’m here, do they?’ she asked, but from the flags of colour on his tanned cheeks she already knew the answer. The fact that he hadn’t told anyone about the baby either went without saying. She clamped down on the feeling of unease though. She mustn’t overreact. Just because he hadn’t told them yet, didn’t mean he would never tell them.
He swore softly and stood up. ‘Not yet.’
‘I see.’ She swallowed. ‘Do you plan to tell people? Eventually?’
‘Yeah, sure. I just wanted to keep you to myself for a while.’ He held her arm, his voice lowering to a seductive purr as he caressed the sensitive skin on the inside of her elbow with his thumb. ‘You remember Josie, Sonny’s daughter, the kid that woke you up when you were in the hut?’